BC's Movie and Television Blog

10 Movies From 2011 Everyone Should See

2012-01-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

10 Movies From 2011 Everyone Should See...:

Or, How I Learned To Stop Bitching For Two Hours

At A Time And Love Some Bombs

Its been awhile sense I've done one of my many lists that mojo mocks me about out of jealousy that he can't seem to formulate a list, or those guest reviews he's been saying he'll do sense 2009, but in any event,it really has been awhile, and sense I decided to forgo all the work that would be doing a best and worst list for last year, I felt it would be best, and more fun, to just share with you all, 10 films I rather enjoyed from the past year, this isn't by any means my best and worst list, just a list of 10 films I truly enjoyed and feel the need to share with you all, plus, well, its obvious i gotta blog more lol

In any event, here we go...

10. Cars 2

Now first off, I want to state, I am not saying this from the stance of a pixar fan, yes, I do enjoy most of the movies they've made, but I'm not one of those of the belief that "pixar can not falter" it is possible for them to do so, and they have afew times, seriously, how many Bugs Life or movies about that cooking rat have they made? That being said, I will also admit that I could see alot of what people were saying was wrong about this film, that its plot moves in strange confusing ways, that its too Mater focused leaving Lightening McQueen, and the rest of the cast in the background mostly, and that the world wide gran prix really isn't much more then a mcguffin, and all the rest of the complaints that have plagued this film sense it came out. And though I can see where alot of the complaints came from, and yes, they are all valid points, and I can see why someone would complain and say this movie is bad for any of them. But the thing is, no matter how much I tried to hate this movie, with all of its faults, with my hate of Larry the Cable Guy, the sadness that George Carlin was dead, but yet his character Filmore the bus plays a big role in the film, and so many more reasons I could have to hate this film, I just can't do it. I just can not hate Cars 2 no matter how many holes in the plot I try and drive Mac the Truck through, there is just something about it that makes you love it, even though its blatantly flawed on many levels, you can try all you want, but it just won't happen, you can try all day long to find just enough wrong with this film to banish it to the realm of bad movies that should be forgotten, but everytime you try, you remember just as many good things they snuck in, as there is bad. Its very annoying that way, but it also makes a film thats worth sitting down and having a nice all ages friendly laugh for 2 hours. And make no mistake, even though it will frustrate you cuz you can't find enough flaws to hate it, you will infact laugh yourself silly at the idea of a popemobile instead a popemobile.

9. Super 8

I remember reading the write up for this film, and I remember getting so very excited about it, just the concept got me worked up, and as long time readers will remember, I couldn't stop raving about this film when I reviewed it over the summer. Oh sure there have been tons of kids help an alien phone home then watch as it leaves for parts unknown out there in the universe, and many will argue that to them there are better, and that its just Cloverfield in the 1979s with kids instead of 20something douchebags and not as much first person views through the camera, and people can debate that all they want till the world ends, and honestly, i don't care, I love this film. I love that its kind of Cloverfield meets The Explorers, I love it almost as much as the fact that as you read this, 40 people just googled "the explorers" to see what I'm talking about. See, I understand that no matter what, people gonna hate, and I respect their right to do so, but the thing is, they don't see what this film really is, its a love letter to back when children's movies weren't made of complete suck and fail, to back when it was ok to have afew harsh words and some not too violent but still scary violence, and terror that was actually terrifying. If you didn't like Super 8 the first time around, give it another shot, but this time, look at it though the same eyes you'd watch The Goonies or The Last Starfighter or Time Bandits, or one of those beloved classics, and I think you will be greatly surprised by how different it looks to you when you do.

8. Rubber

Now, this might surprise alot of people, and to be honest, I am shocked bit myself I enjoyed this wonderful direct to dvd film, because often with films that never see release outside of a film festival no matter how obscure, or get no theater release at all, tend to be lazy and sloppy and really really bad, but thankfully this film proved that wrong. I love when what starts out as a hunt for a film that is gonna be so bad I have to laugh at it, becomes something I truly and wholeheartedly enjoy so much more then I ever believed that I would. It takes alot for a film to surprise me, and though you might not believe it, Rubber truly did just that. I remember finding it simply because me and afew friends were scavenging netflix for something we could all agree on watching, when the description left us all dead in our tracks and just in so much awe we had to see it. For those of you that don't know what Rubber is, its a surrealist comedy horror set in the area outside of Lancaster California where a discarded tire named Robert The Tire becomes self aware and decides he wants to explore the world, as he rolls around discovering life, he also discovers he can take life, not just by rolling over it, but he can explode things with his mind, he discovers at this point that he really loves to take life, and embarks on a killing spree. Its just crazy with its complete surreality and out of left field nature that makes you just wanna keep watching it, its falls somewhere between comedy brilliance on the level of the great Andy Kaufman and one of those high end arthouse films where afterwards you find yourself wondering for weeks, what the naked girl was doing in the field by the windmill with that donkey and the ronin mask and the bag of yukon gold potatoes, because the film never tells you, and you really wanna know cuz its keeping you up at night with confusion. So if you've never seen or heard of this film, and you want something thats just so out there that you just need to see it to believe it, or that you love lovingly made spoofs of the classic grindhouse genres. or are a believer in Wings Hauser's acting ability, give this a shot, because its so crazy you just gotta see it.

7. The Beaver

Now, before you all go off and get offended or mad here, hear me out, I feel The Beaver got a raw deal, it suffered from what i call "Powder Syndrome", meaning just before the film's release, someone involved with its production, in this case, its star Mel Gibson, did something horrible to turn the people against them and ruin their public image just before the film was to see screens. I call this Powder Syndrome because its alot like in 1995 when the brilliant film Powder was released, and completely ruined all the critical and movie going buzz Powder had gotten, and most theaters that would have shown it, refusing too, and thus the film would fade into the background and be forgotten till long after the scandal it was at the center of was forgotten, and then it would be cheered for the triumph it was. I mention this because The Beaver is another case of that instance. If you are among the many who didn't bother with this movie that, before Mel Gibson told the world he hated jews or whatever he did this time that he's done 10 times before, had a TON of ocscar award buzz as well as critical buzz like you wouldn't believe, then seriously give it a try now, and if it helps, just don't think of Mel Gibson as Mel Gibson, think of him as an aussie character actor playing a depressed man who has a mental breakdown because he can't handle life, somehow discovers through a puppet beaver that changes his life in ways he never knew were possible. Its truly a brilliant movie about how we view the mentally unstable and how life is so much harder then we all ever thought. And if you can't get past the fact its Mel Gibson, remember this, everyone hated Mickey Rourke till he played what was basically himself in The Wrestler, maybe this should be Mel's answer to that? Seriously if you haven't checked it out, you really should, if for nothing else, to see Jodie Foster argue with a beaver puppet, and all the metaphorical stuff that can mean.

6. Restless

The first thing that struck me about this little known but often buzzed about film was the fact that it was, in a sense, the closest thing we'd get to a proper remake of Harold and Maude, oh sure they could make an outright remake, where Harold is an emokid or a goth and Maude is played by some smoking hot cougar, because thats how it works in modern hollywood, but that would just not work for people who don't like being shit on by an industry who doesn't listen to them. Something akin to the way Restless works will infact be the closest we will ever get, and for me, thats just fine. Sure its abit odd, a creepy morbidly obsessed 19 year old who attends the funerals of people he's never met and is friends with the ghost of a kamikaze pilot, and then he meets this girl who does the same thing, but she's doing it for another reason, but the end result is the same, this is basically a modern retelling of Harold and Maude, which I rather enjoy. I also rather like the fact it stars Mia Wasikowka, who you all might know as Alice in the recent beautiful but flawed beyond belief Tim Burton take on Alice In Wonderland, and who I'll always remember as Lilya in Suburban Mayhem, because, well honestly, I'm a sucker for people who swear and act trashy in aussie movies lol

5. Red State

As a means to prove that he can do more then just his New Jersey movies, after his attempt at a buddy film "Cop Out" failed, Kevin Smith, nerd turned cult director turned comic book writer turned guy involved with the tv show Reaper, turned director out to prove his worth, decided to write what could be one of the most fucked up horror movies made in the last 20 years. Red State is a horror movie in the sense that real life possibilities can scare the hell out of you. Basically, its what happens when bible belt beliefs become not only fanatically insane, but as crazy as they are, they're also just as well armed, and also believe they're above all law except for god, and that they can get away with murder as long as they believe its in his name. The film will touch on all things we know of as hated by republicans; homosexuality, marijuana and other drugs, belief that all races and creeds are equal, all the things that set off the red staters. All the things they spend their lives hating and trying to destroy, in this film, the massive cult like church and its leader who are the main baddies, try to destroy, right to the bitter end. This film might not be for everyone, and thats fine, but, the fact it was created by a guy who is known for his comedy and is one half of Jay and Silent Bob, will blow your damn mind out the back of your head. I know horror isn't for everyone, but, god damn is this movie something to see, even if its just once, you gotta check it out.

4. Attack The Block

This might be the most argued over film on this entire list. Some will tell you its a brilliant fresh take on the whole alien invasion film genre, that was much needed in a world where we'd have to suffer though such recent shit as Skyline and other half assed films that made no sense, and others will tell you its totally shit and nothing more then glorifying lower class life in the estates of south London. The people who believe its total shit are ofcourse completely wrong, but chances are they're fans of Manchester United, so no one really cares what they think anyway. Attack The Block, for those that haven't seen it, is a british alien invasion action film, where after accidentally killing a small alien, a group of teenagers from a south london estate (thats like a housing project to us outside the uk), along with a young doctor they cross paths with, have to fend off an alien invasion of these eye-less wolf like creatures with glowing teeth and drool, only thing is, as I'm sure you're all aware, its not as easy to get guns and explosives as it is here in the united states, an american teenager would just go grab some machine guns and explosives at the first sign of an alien that doesn't look like its trying to phone home, kids in the UK don't have that option, so they have to use what they can procure from around the area to help them in their fight, baseball bats, frying pans (frying pans right? who knew?), fireworks, swords and machetes. This movie plays out like what could be the greatest video game in years, and is just so very fun. Its got so much appeal, the music, the concept, and the fact if this were made here in america, it would star some rappers who can't act for shit and would suck beyond belief. So if you want some nice no brain needed fun, or you wanna have a nice new take on the classic alien invasion story, or just like to see teenagers hitting things with baseball bats, then if you've not seen this you really should, its just so fun.

3. The Muppets

Yeah like this is a surprise to anyone right? lol Its never been a secret that I am huge muppets fan, being such a fan of Jim Henson I had no choice but to be honestly. And though some said there were many flaws in this comeback film, I don't care. See, for those that will get the reference, this film is to The Muppets, what Scooby Doo On Zombie Island is to Scooby Doo, which for those who don't get that reference means its a realistic modernized take that brings new life into a long lived franchise by giving it new ground to build on, as well as bringing new fans, but also staying true to its core material, in both cases, it brought some serious and dramatic elements to a comedic powerhouse that was nothing but comedy for over 40 years. Its a tricky and slippery slope they were playing on, but thankfully for them it worked out beautifully. They use the term "the film we've been waiting for" around alot, but honestly, with all its hilarity and cuteness and goofball antics, as well as getting literally every single muppet ever created in on the act even if for just a moment, this film was such a joy and delight that I am happily waiting for the next one to come along and make my life awesome by means of puppetry again.

2. Super

You know, at first glance, Super looks like nothing more then a lower budget version of Kick Ass, where in the main character gets tired of all the crime in the world and decides to fight back superhero styley, and along the bloody way becomes a folk hero beyond all knowledge. Super, though similar in the fact the lead dons a superheroing suit and fights crime, is nothing at all like Kick Ass, in Super, our lead has gone completely insane before he decides to become a superhero, using it as a way to deal with the anger and rage and confusion inside him from the horrible events of his life that led to him becoming a hero, he calls himself The Crimson Bolt and becomes more and more unhinged as the film goes, eventually gaining a sidekick Boltie, a slutty dressed girl who's even crazier then he is, which makes him more insane, and more violent, its kind of crazy, and honestly if it wasn't for the fact its a dark comedy take on the whole real world superhero thing, hidden inside the decent into insanity of the average every man, this movie wouldn't be worth anything outside of some WTF factor. But still, i can't stop watching it, its just so wrong that its so funny at the same time. So if you haven't seen it, you really should.

1. Another Earth

In science fiction its not uncommon to find stories about the idea there is another earth out there just on the other side of the sun where we can't see it, its been around for almost a hundred years in some form or another, most comic book fans will jump to marvel's "counter earth" and DC's many different earths, all of which had to be condensed into one to stop confusing people. And in the grand design of such ideas, comes one of the most common stories we all ponder when thinking of another earth out there, if our counterpart made the same mistakes we did, or if their life turned out completely different then ours did. That is the basis for this story, the story of Rhoda Williams, a young brilliant girl who seems to have the world ready to bow at her feet, until one night, she isn't paying attention to where she's going, and causes a fatal accident, which turns her life upside down, from there its a story of regret and atonement, the whole while we hear news reports of the discovery of a second earth, and everyone starts to wonder what its like, what the people are like, what the differences are, if they're just like us, things like that. And in the end, not only is there an answer to that question, but we're left wondering just how different they are deep down, and we also are left wondering if Rhoda will actually forgive herself for all the accidental bad she's done. Its an incredible film that mostly went over looked last year, if you haven't seen it, you really should, its just brilliant.

So thats my list, again, I'm stating this isn't a 10 Best list, just a list of 10 films I feel are worth watching that came out last year, some of which were big hits, some of which went rather unnoticed and overlooked by most, but still i rather liked them. So if you haven't given them a look, please do so.

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BC

SLiDE

2012-01-11T02:13:00.002-05:00

SLiDE:

"The key to happyness is, to do exactly what you want with out worrying what happens"
- Homer Simpson, Sage of the modern age.

At first look, SLiDE (yes, spelled that way) would seem to be just another of those "teenagers behaving badly" dramas, probably falling somewhere between Degrassi: The Next Generation and Skins, and though I can see how many would bring themselves to that idea, I seem to find something more too it, maybe its a secret love for shows of this nature, or maybe I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You and The Breakfast Club to much as a teenager, I don't really know. Either way, I find myself strangely addicted to this series and the inner workings of a group of friends that you really wouldn't think would be friends if not for how they all came together, which, unlike most shows of this nature, actually makes sense and could actually happen, after all, the clique that writes things into sports fields with fire together, stay together. Atleast thats how it happened for me and my friends in high school anyway.

All joking aside, SLiDE is the story of five unlikely friends; Ed Newman, Tammy Lane, Scarlett Carlyle, Eva Lee and Luke Gallagher, they were all sort of tossed together by the means of what happened on Ed's 17th birthday, a night that sort of became a local legend around their high school in Brisbane Australia, and creating a bond between the five of them, given how they all came together that night, as you would expect from that night on they became friends, all with their deep inner dynamic and tensions, as you would expect to be the bread and butter of a show like this. However unlike most shows that randomly toss cast members together for whatever reason, you can see from the start there are alot of things bubbling under the surface with all of them from the very beginning, which really makes me pretty happy really, I hate when a show like this doesn't have its plans already made out before hand and they just wing it, thats how you end up with shitty american teen dramas that no one but emokids want to watch... ok well emokids and women in their 40s that are alone and need something to chickwank too.

The promotional material says the show is ment to focus around Ed and his trying to get Scarlett, a rich girl who's just moved to the city and is the daughter of his boss, to fall in love with him, or atleast sleep with him, but i find thats rather far off the mark. Its more the story of a journey of 5 kids (dubbed "the Slide 5" in media) who honestly have no real idea who they are or what they want to be in life, and follows them as they attempt to discover who they all are inside while still being able to live the carefree life of a teenager. Ofcourse they deal with the normal things one faces as a teenager, though drinking and drugs are pretty casually done, they don't focus on them all that much, which is good, you actually see more of the after effects then the actual effects, except for when its key to the story of the character who is under the influence of either or both, and ofcourse, as there is with teenagers, insane amounts of sexual tension with in the cast, oddly though, there is none among the cast and any of the expanded cast, infact outside of parents, who are ment to either be cool, annoying, or assholes, whenever the cast are in a scene with one of the other kids they deal with in school, infact whenever you see any of them with Phillipa you have the feeling they just wanna punch her in the face, with out spoilering it, you find out why as the show goes on.

Its hard to actually write a real review of a show like this, its not like most shows of its nature where you deal with a larger secondary cast that appears and interacts with the mains and have little stories of their own, but with SLiDE you don't really have that, you have the five kids, their parents and siblings when needed, and minimal interaction outside of the group, atleast on camera, they imply they've all got friends, but you never really see them interact for more then afew lines at most with anyone thats not important to the story of that episode or the over all story in general. Now to many this might seem annoying cuz you're gonna get nothing but important story the whole way through, but infact, I rather like this about it. Because it makes you actually feel for the characters, lets you get in their heads, and not just see them as the images of various teenage archetypes, you don't just look at Eva and think "oh she's the misunderstood graffiti artist" but never see her work or understand her need for it, in this, there is actually a whole episode dedicated to understanding it, you don't know know that Tammy's all by the book and down to earth, you see why she is, and what happens when she lets loose and doesn't go by the letter to everything, and how Scarlett has does horrible things to get her father's attention because its the only way he really shows her any attention, and Luke has alot of issues at home that he keeps to himself and isn't really sure how to deal with real attraction instead of just sleeping with girls for the sake of having sex. Or how honestly, Ed would be attracted to anything female, even concrete. All these little things that make them unique and different, you feel happy when they are happy, and sad when they're sad, and when they get punched in the gut, you get punched in the gut, thats a sign of a great show, and more so great writing, because anyone can write a teen aimed drama series, but not everyone can make one that can draw in people over the age of 18 and aren't developmentally stunted in some form or another.

Now as I said before, its hard to review a show like this, and really, on the surface its ment to be the aussie version of the UK hit turned USA flop Skins, but as I said it goes so much farther, and alot funnier, i mean alot funnier, the insults and one liners traded between the cast and the hilariously stupid shit they get themselves into will actually have you laughing outloud in some spots. And I do feel like I'm phoning this in because i can't really mention much of the plot of the series, mostly because there really isn't much to it, its just the day to day lives of 5 teenagers in BrizVegas trying to live as much as they can, while under the surface everything else is bubbling, their fears, their loves, their desires, their needs, all of it, and also, that some of the show's most endearing moments happen when they all let go of the angst and worry of teendom and actually act like little children, there is a delightful scene in the pilot at the end where they're dancing in sprinklers after writing a message to the teacher in charge of their saturday detention in fire on their sports field thats just brilliant, and the scenes with them and Tammy's little brother Charlie in the second episode are just endearingly awesome. So if you are a fan of shows like Skins or those teenage dramas they have here in America, or you are looking for a new spin on the genre, then give SLiDE a chance.

Or if you're still curious, here is a promo from before the show aired

I should also note that its a pain in the ass to find imagery from this show, so if the images i posted, which were awesome high rez images off the official webpage and twitter page, are gone, sadly, they were all i could find..

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BC

What I'm Currently Watching 11/22/11

2011-11-22T03:14:00.001-05:00

What I'm Currently Watching...

Ok so, its been over a year sense I've done this last, and I figured with all the new stuff on the air, I feel I need to just get around to doing this again, plus, its either this or watching Jerry Springer's gameshow Baggage on Gameshow Network at the moment, so really, it can't hurt to get a list out, plus its been forever sense I've done a list, as Mojo likes to point out. Anyway, enough rambling, here we go... Oh and I should point out, I'm listing stuff separately, current airing, on break and ended..

Currently Airing Programing:

Drama:

Sons of Anarchy (US)
Bones (US)
Packed To The Rafters (AU)
House (US)
Burn Notice (US)
Wild Boys (AU)
Hell On Wheels (US)
Boardwalk Empire (US)
The Slap (AU)
Pan Am (US)
Love/Hate (Ireland)
Downtown Abby (UK)
Top Boy (UK)

Comedy:

The Simpsons (US)
Glee (US)
Being Erica (CA)
Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia (US)
Family Guy (US)
The Cleveland Show (US)
American Dad (US)
Heart of Dixie (US)
Auckland Daze (NZ)
the New Girl (US)
Raising Hope (US)
Suburgatory (US)
Threesome (UK)
InSecurity (CA)
Housos (AU)
Rev (UK)
Outnumbered (UK)
Him and Her (UK)
Meet Your Neighbors (Ireland)
This is Jinsy (UK)

Sci Fi:

Sanctuary (US)
Fringe (US)
Saor Sinn ó Olc (Ireland)
Thundercats (US/JAP)
Misfits (UK)
Terra Nova (US)
Grimm (US)
Once Upon A Time (US)
the Walking Dead (US)
American Horror Story (US)
Young Justice (US)
Death Valley (US)
Lost Girl (CA)
Todd And The Book Of Pure Evil (CA)

Reality:

Ghost Hunters (US)
Pawn Stars (US)
The X-Factor (US ver.)
Kitchen Nightmares (US ver.)

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Shows On Break I'm Rewatching:

The Fades (UK)
Doctor Who (UK)
Torchwood (UK/US)
Underbelly (AU)
Underbelly NZ (NZ)
XIII (CA)
Haven (US)
Being Human (UK and US)
Bedlam (UK)
Fallen Skies (US)
Warehouse 13 (US)
Eureka (US)
Alphas (US)
Primeval (UK)
True Blood (US)
Beaver Falls (UK)
Slide (AU)
Raw (Ireland)
Skins (UK)
Justified (US)
Nothing Trivial (NZ)
This Is Not My Life (NZ)
The Yard (CA)
Awkward (US)
TwentySomething (AU)
Top Gear (UK and US)
The Almighty Johnsons (NZ)
Trivia (Ireland)
Weeds (US)
Wilfred (US)

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Ended Programing I'm Rewatching:

Afterlife (UK)
Trailer Park Boys (CA)
Reaper (US)
Burying Brian (NZ)
Boys From The Black Stuff (UK)
Land Of The Giants (UK)
The 4400 (US)
Demons (UK)
Kath and Kim (AU)
The Muppet Show (US/UK)
The Witcher (Poland)
Survivors [both 1977 and 2008] (UK)
The Champions (UK)
Honey West (US)
The Middleman (US)
Twin Peaks (US)
Sinchroncity (UK)
UFO (UK)
Hex (UK)
The Champions (UK)
Thunderbirds (UK)
Captain Scarlett And The Mysterons From Mars (UK)
Satisfaction (AU)
Outrageous Fortune (NZ)
The Drunk And On Drugs Happy Funtime Hour (CA)
Suburban Shootout (UK)
10 Things I Hate About You (US)
Rabbit Fall (CA)
Wilfred (AU)
Durham County (CA)
Huge (US)
Legend (Ireland)
Pulling Moves (Ireland)
The Alice (AU)
Secret Diary Of A Call Girl (UK)
Marchland (UK)

Top Gear (AU/RUS)

ok well I'm watching alot of older shows right now... this list could take awhile

Anyway, thats it for now, hope some of you have found some shows you didn't know i watched, or are curious about, so feel free to ask away...

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BC

The Reality Shock 10/30/2011

2011-10-30T15:23:00.001-04:00

The Reality Shock 2.0:

Issue #3: ..Like A GodFire Phoenix I Rise..

Welcome back once again mydear friends to the show that never truly ends, mostly becausewhenever I feel I've had enough, somehow, someway, sometimes throughfunky ass shit that happens every single day, and sometimes by meansof afew loyal followers (by which I mean mostly my friend Ashley)reminding me that its been so very long sense I've sat down and wroteout one of my much beloved sermons of truth and blunt honesty. I haveto admit, I had a feeling I might not be so good at this after abouta year or so break, but I'm surprised to discover that not only am Ifeeling the energy flowing like I used too, but I'm feeling likeeverything is old times all over again, which is really pretty good,cuz they were good times, atleast I thought they were, but hey Icould be wrong. I do know one thing though, after a year off, and the6 prior years of writing this soliloquy of serendipity, I still haveno real clue how to write a proper opening paragraph. Amazing howsomethings never change no matter how long of a gap you have tobridge isn't it?

Alright, with that out ofthe way, lets get down to it, shall we? And away we go...A'room'a'zoom'zoom!!

So the first things first, Iwanna address a movie that a lot of people have been asking me myopinion on, now, I do get asked about many things still all this timeafter letting my pulpit of truth fade into obscurity, and sense I'vebrought this out of retirement, I figure I'll answer one of the mostrecent and most persistent questions I've been getting, and that is,being the big Shakespeare fan that I am, what is it I think of theupcoming movie “Anonymous”,where in we are expected to believe that the great bard himself,William Shakespeare, was infact a fraud, a sort of Milli Vanili ofhis time, with the real writer of his work being The Earl Of Oxford,who believes that his writing deserves to be shared, but feels if hewere to present it himself, it would only be heralded because of hisstatus, instead of the actual talent. Now, though I understand thelogic of that sort of theory, there has never been anythingsupporting this theory other then the theory itself, which thoughoften debated over the last 30 or so years sense it was first putforward, there has never really, to my knowledge, never really beenanything to support it, other then the original idea itself, whichthough a fun debate among classic literature lovers of the world, hasnever really been much more then that, a fun debate, until now. Now,as for my ideas and beliefs on this, though I will more then likelyfind the film to be a well acted, well written, beautiful bit ofbriefly controversial film, I believe it will be nothing more thenjust that, a film of fictional record, I've always been of the beliefthat Shakespeare is, as he always will be, one of the greatestwriters of all time, maybe I'm too stuck in my ways, but I just can'tbelieve one of the greatest dreamers that never quit dreaming, wasbasically Cyrano De Bergerac with out the giant penis nose, andplayed for the whole world to love, not just one woman. Its just notpossible. But I am sure the film will be great though, and I lookforward to seeing it.

Speaking of period basedfilms, Ukrainian goddess Milla Jovovich, who normally is one of themost easy going and friendly people in the acting world, taken itupon herself to call out the film studio releasing her recentaction/adventure steampunk like revision of The Three Musketeers, fortheir lack of proper advertizing of the film. Saying its ment to bemore of a family friendly action adventure instead of a balls to thewall action film thats not for all ages. She has been taking to everymedia she can to state this. Some might find it in bad taste that anactor is speaking badly of the studio in the promotion for the film,but infact, going by what many critics are saying, she has a point,and this isn't a case of a star trying to incite bad blood betweenthem and the studio, much like Richard Dreyfus did when he called outboth Oliver Stone and Lionsgate films for not “hitting hard enoughand making the world feel bad for George W. Bush” in the film “W”the George W. Bush biopic where Dreyfus played Vice President DickChaney, Milla simply wishes to show that her film is being mistreatedby the studio, and she's just trying to save the film from ruin. Whatmakes this case sad is, the film did bomb here in the states, thoughit did well everywhere else, and the studio is trying to make it outlike Milla's questioning of their way of promoting the film is why itbombed, because they felt letting her promote the film with such anattitude, would be bad for them, which really is a shame, because thefilm is actually really good. It also looks bad on Milla Jovovich,who, in all honesty is possibly one of the nicest, respectful,friendliest of all the famous person I've ever come across, seriouslyshe answers every single twitter, facebook comment, direct message,facebook PM, sent by every single fan, as long as its not lude orinsulting or disrespectful ofcourse, she even goes out of her way tobring us all into her daily life, posting pictures of her kids andhusband and her doing the silliest and cutest things, or video orpictures from the set of whatever film she's working on, and talkingabout how she loves sharing it all with the world as she does. Makingsomeone that nice and caring to her fans look bad really just makesthe studio look like shit, specially sense she was right.

Speakingof Milla's level of interaction with her fans, in my year off, I'vediscovered Twitter with alittle trail and error, learned that its notthe waistland of endless self whoring like I figured it would be,infact I've discovered that many a famous person who's on twitter isa lot like Milla, taking the time to interact with their fans as muchas possible, it kind of amazes me really, sure most of them are fromoutside of the United States, but still, the point remains, fame isfame, and here in America, its unheard of for a star to personallyinteract with their fans via social media, sure you get ones likeAshton Kutcher who doesn't so much interact with the fans so much aspreach to them and preside over them, or Courtney Love who doesn't somuch interact, so much as post drunken pictures of herself mostlynaked or wearing something skimpy, but there is really no attempt tointeract with the fans like they're people. I was amazed at the ideaof this, and I figured sense as I writing this, I was having aconversation about this very thing with my charity case homeboy Mojo,I would share it all with you as well. And after a small amount oftwitter and facebook stalkery as well as fumbling through my halfwrong attempts at other languages, i've gathered that other then eachcountry's super huge high end megastars, most famous people the worldover, are very nice and respectful and friendly, as long as you arethe same to them. When I talk about this, I always mention LaurenSocha, BAFTA winner for best supporting actress for her role as KellyBailey on the amazingly good sci fi dramedy Misfits, who literallylets her fans into every single part of her daily life, often sendingpictures of herself and her family and friends, or her dog out to themasses, as well as often putting on her webcam via twitter andtalking with the fans for hours, often with her friends, cast mates,her family, at random times during her day, sometimes even whilesitting in bed when she can't sleep, she's covered up respectfullybefore you pervs get the wrong idea, she always answers questionsabout the show, what she's doing, what her brother who is going to bea semi regular on the next series of Being Human is doing, afew timeseven asked for fans to sell her a car, and offering to send a weekendafternoon having lunch and watching football (soccer to us americans)with anyone in Derbyshire who could get a good friend of hers who hadbeen fired a job, even giving out her mobile number afew times forthe fans, even promoting her show by stating if she can, she'll belive tweeting and using her cam to interact with fans during eachepisode of the upcoming series of misfits. That kind of full accessis completely unheard of here.

Thereare a lot of others who are just as interactive with the fanbase theworld over, I just use Lauren as an example because I find myselflaughing at how far into her life she tries to integrate her fans tomake everyone feel like they truly know her. Steve Pizzati of the nowcanceled Top Gear Australia is the same way, though his mostlyinvolves him posting videos of him driving high end supercars aroundexotic racetracks stuff, which is great, but just rubs salt in thewound of people like me, who actually liked the aussie version of TopGear and wish they'd keep making it, oddly, the loss of the russianversion of Top Gear, which I also enjoyed, doesn't sting as much. Ahwell, thats how it goes in life I guess.

Bythe way, if anyone who hasn't yet, and would like to follow me ontwitter, you can at @ThisBrokenMindwhich some of you might take as me poking some fun at the fact mostpeople think I'm crazy, but its actually shortened from the line “Iam trapped here in this broken mind, and all I can ask is just bekind, to me.” a line some of you might know from the Molly Ventersong “Good Mother” about watching her other slowly lose hersanity and memories as she got old. Speaking of Twitter accounts tofollow, you all should give my friend Rose a follow as well at@EloquentParrotshe mostly drops stone cold bits of truth about UK current affairsshows and provides hilariously truthful and blunt commentary on theUK version of The X-Factor, but its still rather entertaining, plusshe can totally use the followers. Anyone else I know with a twitteraccount, don't get upset I'm not ignoring your accounts, I justhaven't gotten your permission to plug yours, out of respect I won'tdo that kind of thing without y'alls permission or knowledge.

Nowthat I've mentioned it, all of you who are wondering what I think ofthe American version of The X-Factor, don't worry I plan on gettingto it in length in abit, I just have afew other other things I'd liketo mention before hand, so stay tuned faithful readers... or youknow, skip down if you wish, it'll be there either way if you waitand read the rest of just jump then read back.. or if you go and makea sammich then come back and read the rest. Damn its 3:45am why am Icraving a sammich?

Anyway,on to other things...

I'dlike to give you all a heads up on an upcoming little known andlittle talked about film called “Chronicle”,which I'm betting could be the next District 9 type of sleeper. Bywhich I mean people will dismiss as looking brilliant and having abrilliant concept, but they'll wait till it comes to dvd/blu ray/ondemand to watch it, then they'll kick themselves for not shelling outthe cash for theaters because of how amazing and wonderful the filmis. Chronicle, is the story of three Portland Oregon based teenagers,who while recording themselves goofing about in the woods outside oftown, are all exposed to a mysterious chemical they happen across,and as they go around their days videoing themselves as teenagerstend to do incase something is oddly youtube worthy, they start todevelop superpowers given to them by the chemicals in the woods, thefilm goes from lazy loser teenagers mucking about with a handicam, tothe story of three teenagers working together to train themselves inhow to use their new found powers, and how they slowly start to turnon each other as well. The film is shot like Cloverfield, meaningfirst person view, so you feel you're right there in the middle ofeverything, a style that most seem to dislike for some reason, but Ipersonally love to death, because of the surreality of how it putsyou in the scene, while breaking the 4^thwall, with out really breaking the 4^thwall. Look for it February 3^rdof 2012.

Whyare people making such a big deal out of the suit for Catwoman in theupcoming Batman: The Dark Knight Rises? Yes it looks like a genericsneaking suit with knee boots, but do you people not realize, thatCatwoman never started out to be a master thief? The character ofSelena Kyle was originally a hooker who wanted a certain necklace sobad she decided to steal it from a high end jewelery store, and shediscovered in the process, she had a nack for theft, and thats howCatwoman was born, she didn't start out in the more commonly knownand perfectly named leather catsuit, infact if you look into thecomics, she didn't wear the trademark catsuit until AFTER the 1960sBatman tv show that starred Adam West decided to make the characterinto the definition of female supervillain sexy, infact Catwomanwasn't even that major of a villain until that show made her as such,and also, female villains weren't really written as sexy and flirtytoward others until that show put the idea forward as well. Soeveryone bitching that the Catwoman suit that we've all seen on setpictures of so far looks cheap and unimaginative, remember, not everycharacter starts out in the suit we all know of them in, but by theend, they end up in them, so shut up and wait to see what happens,you'll get to see Anne Hathoway in skin tight leather and Emma Peelsized knee boots soon enough.... perverts.

Sobefore we continue, I have to eat abit of humble pie, which for thoseinterested, tastes abit like Shepard's Pie, but the kind with carrotsin it, not the awesome kind with corn, peas and bacon. Also, if Ioffended you by not referencing the type of shepard's pie you're usedtoo, oh well, it literally changes from town to town and region toregion all over america and the united kingdom, even if its atraditional united kingdom dish. Anyway... I have to eat some humblepie, because as many of you are aware, I've many times stated Irefused to go anywhere near the scripted original programing producedby MTV, no I don't just mean the “reality” shows that are totallyscripted, or their “documentaries” I mean the actual scriptedprograming, after they ruined their chance to make a daring ambitioustake on UK cult series Skins, and that horrible horrible attempt atmaking 1980s cult crapfest Teen Wolf, which according to KaylaPatterson ripped off Twilight 20 years before Twilight was published,because everyone knows Stephanie Meyer created werewolves andvampires, into girlwank fodder for Team Jacob, and after their muchhyped The Hard Times Of R.J Burger fell flat of the target, andcountless other attempts I'm probably forgetting thanks to expensivetherapy, I must admit, after all of that, MTV has actually put outafew quality programs, three infact, which I feel are in need ofmention; Death Valley, which is basically Cops, but set in a townover run with zombies, oh sure you'd think the idea would get tiredrather quickly, but amazingly it doesn't, but then again, honestly,who doesn't love killing zombies? Another actual hit they have is theshow Awkward, which is basically the tv version of the amazing butoverlooked movie Easy A, both of which seemed overlooked by most, buttruly are enjoyable. And ofcourse, the biggest highlight I have tomention, infact if I don't my friend Ashley will hang me from a treeand toss rocks at me, is ofcourse the relauch of Beavis and Butthead,which thankfully, didn't show its age, nor did it cross the line tostraight up pandering to bring back fans, their relaunch had no frogbaseball, nor did it have Cornholeo roaming about, it justestablished them back where they belonged, mocking music videos (andnow reality shows too) and pop culture in general. I can't believeI'm about to say this but, good job MTV, you're officially now aheadof NBC and CBS in my “get out of the television shithouse”program.

“Youknow, when I did my skit with the cast of Jersey Shore when I washosing the prime time emmy awards, we had to constantly change thescript, not to make if funnier, but because those wacky macaronirascals couldn't pronounce certain words. Serious, I'm not kidding,if you saw my skit with them, I played a mafia liaison, but becausenone of them could say the word “liaison”, we changed it to theywould simply refer to me as The Godmother... I know it made it abittrite to some, but god bless those guidos, they tried as hard as theycould, they just couldn't say that word to save their lives.... noteven that little orange one that looks like a cabbage patch kid...”- Jane Lynch of the hit series Glee on her dealings with the cast ofJersey Shore.

LindseyLohan working in a morgue is the most hilarious thing I've ever hadthe privilege of picturing in my head, whichever judge in LA madethat happen, I thank you. I thank you hardcore. I thank him almost asmuch as I thank the person who thought the idea of the show H8R,where Z-List famous people spend a day trying to convince someonethat called them names on the internet they're good people... shameit got canceled three episodes in.

Somemovies you all should check out if you haven't yet; Rubber; the storyof a tire that lives in the outer area of Lancaster California, isnamed Robert and one day, not only becomes self aware and alive, butalso discovers that it has an unyielding need to kill as it rollsacross the California sands heading toward LA, and somewhere alongthe way stops to watch a lot of classic car tv shows, movies andclassic nascar. Attack The Block; a British attempt at a ghetto vs.aliens film, which starts off abit silly and kind of dumb, but afterthe first 15 minutes picks up and becomes one of the most delightfulfilms I've seen in the whole humans vs. aliens genre in a long time,plus it helped me get the bad taste of the film Skyline out of mymemory, which was a much needed scrubbing, plus there is talks ofmaking a tv series based on it, which I could honestly see working,not for long, but maybe a 6 episode run with as much of the originalcast as I can.

SomeTelevision you all should check out; The Fades; a story of humanswith angelic powers who fight to prevent the end of the world broughtabout the undead, its perfect Halloween time watching. Bedlem; a UKseries about a mental hospital being turned into an apartmentcomplex, its losely based on the former Danvers Mental Institution,one of the most horrific places in america, that was turned into ahigh end apartment complex. Once Upon A Time; a rather interestingand dark twist on fairy tales set in smalltown Maine. A little sidenote about The Fades, if you saw the rather well made anddelightfully trashy Stanley Park pilot from BBC last year, and you'reas clever as me, you'll notice the neighborhood where they do theexterior shots of one of the character's homes, is the exact sameneighborhood where that pilot was shot.

Youknow, I will admit, after much shock and teasing by every woman Iknow for the fact I didn't know Zachary Quinto, one of my favoriteactors of the modern era is totally gay till he came out of thecloset last week, I will say this, after seeing his Halloween costumehe posted on his twitter, I would have known. Seriously, if you'venot seen him dressed as “new york city's fireworks on july 4th”go hit up his twitter (giggity), seriously its the most hilariouslygay thing ever, Check it out once you stop laughing at the fact Isaid “hit up his twitter” in a serious tone and with a straightface.

Everyonekeeps telling me I should love Terra Nova, its got everything onecould want; dinosaurs, adventure, that guy from Avatar everyonethinks is a good actor for some reason.. but I just can't fully getinto it, I just keep looking at it and thinking of things they didwrong, like not bringing back proper building materials andequipment, or proper scientists who have actual knowledge ofdinosaurs and what would be found in a world like that, or how theyseem to have no issue at all destroying an entire other timeline thatthey know nothing at all of, because, you know, fuck those guys andtheir reality, no one cares about them, they can go to the shittydeny's on the other side of town from now on. All of it just adds upto me having a giant question mark and the word “Hmm..” over myhead about the show. Also, I'm not that impressed with what willprobably be the final season of House so far either.

Idon't really care what anyone says, I'm super excited about theupcoming new movie starring The Muppets, plus I seriously love thespoof trailers, Epic. Now if I could only get someone to look at myFraggle Rock movie script....

Iknow a lot of you are wondering about this, so I'll put all yourwondering to rest, YES I am super excited about The Avengers the moreset photos and clips I see, I love that they aren't really puttingmuch info out there other then that they're united to fight againstLoki and his trickery. I'm also rather excited that word has comedown that all the ties that bind these recent marvel movies togetherleading up to The Avengers, will continue to bind them all togetherafter they come together, plus word that Avengers 2 will have adifferent cast but cameos by the current ones, I seriously can'twait. Seriously though, Marvel Studios, buy back the rights toSpiderman, Fantastic Four, X-Men, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and all thestray little kittens that are out there split among other studios,you need a full shared film universe, not just half of it. Plus, themarvel universe isn't the same without Peter Parker swinging aroundNYC, or mentions of Reed Richards inventing things, or the mention ofmutants and the x-men in general, or even The Punisher and DareDevilrunning about the city working overtime, fighting crime, fightingcrime. Plus with marvel putting out statements they feel their moviesare chapters in movie sized comic books, and plan on using them assuch, and that they wish to tell key storylines on the big screen,the awesome sauce is just amazing right now. So excited.

Imight get flack for this, but, I would watch an entire episode of TheCleveland Show where you follow Cleveland Brown Jr. around all dayjust seeing what his day is like.

Alrighty,so as promised, once I finished everything else I had to say thisweek, I would spread forth my thoughts on the American take on the UKmegahit series The X-Factor. And though I had thought of maybe justignoring it and maybe writing about something else, like, how I hatethere are 8 tv shows on tv about cake making at the moment, or 4about midgets, or how I think its stupid the Hillsborough CountyPrison, where we keep pedophiles and child porn cases in my sectionof New Hampshire, is right on the highway, but also right across thestreet from a mini-golf/ice cream and burger stand, or something likethat instead. But because I'm a people pleaser, I have to give thepeople what they want, me commenting on the rookie year of theAmerican version of The X-Factor, and thus, because its what thepeople want, its what the people shall get, so lets get into it,before I start rambling about how awesome local televisionpersonality Fritz Weatherby is, which will mean nothing to all of youcuz you don't have a clue who he is... so.. lets get down intothis...

Okso, some of you might be amazed to discover, that I do not actuallyhave any prior experience with The X-Factor, I always figured it wasthe same thing as American Idol, seeing as they have the same roots,assuming that, I figured there no reason to really pay attention toanything but the winner each year, after all one can only really putup with so much Simon Cowell in their life before you realize youwanna stab every douchebag in a tight dark teeshirt a haircut theystole from Richard Dean Anderson after his awesome kentuckywaterfalls mullet phase, who thinks because they discovered 5ive andS Club 7 they're somehow entitled to be jerks to everyone.

Iwas amazed though, that though both concepts are alike, they aredifferent in many key ways, and on theory alone, I'd actually giveX-Factor an edge over the idol machine, I never liked the idea ofIdol having an age limit, thats just moronic, because a music dreamdoesn't end at 30, and if you think it does, you're an idiot and noone cares what you think anyway you stupid Justin Bieber fan. I likethat in X-Factor you have someone working with the contestants,molding them, instead of just tossing them out there on their own andexpecting them to wing it, then tossing a winner out there expectingthem to fly or fall on their faces, you have someone thats a go toothats in the business and can help you along if needs be, thatshould, assuming the mentor knows what they're doing, make for abetter act by the time its over and done. I also like the suddendeath aspect of X-Factor better, it allows for us to cut through allthe dragging out of quarter and semi finals, though I do feel thebuild up rounds are abit much, you've gotta literally sing like 8times before you make it to live tv tapings, and even at that pointyou can get cut one final time before it gets to the voting. Thatseems abit high pressure, but I guess that fits the idea of the show.I also rather like that they include groups and hip hop, I felt thisgives you an all in one show vs. the many failed spin offs of thegenre where they'd try to find group or rapper on their own and justfailed miserably do to the lopsided ratio of shit talent picked tofill slots in a show of this nature vs. actual talent.

Ionly have three major issues with The X-Factor, and really two ofthem are more personal nitpickery instead of actual issues. My firstissue, though it might sound abit narrow minded, is the lower end ofthe age spectrum, now I'm not saying there aren't talented young kidswho could be out there putting the game on its head and making thatbig figga skrilla, but a lot of them at like 12 to 14 or so, aren'tmentally or emotionally ready for what they'll have to deal with,plus, I just don't see how giving a not raving review of the work ofsomeone that young could make the judges look like anything but anasshole, seriously who isn't gonna boo someone for telling a 12 yearold kid they tanked a performance and then tell them the criticalfeedback they need to make it better? Most kids that age group, thosewatching live, and the viewers aren't gonna hear the importantfeedback to make it better that they'll be given, they'll just see ajudge telling a little kid they fail at singing a certain song. Noone wants to be THATasshole, even if its important to their growth as an artist, it justlooks mean. Unless that kid is Justin Bieber, then hate him all youlike, specially now that its legal in most cities in the UK to huntBieber with a crossbow from Midnight to 6am. My other issues, as Istated are more nitpickery, I do not feel just because the judgesfelt the need to make two groups, to round out the groups category,that those two groups, which really aren't that good, should bepushed along to live shows simply because it seems the judges refuseto admit they might have been wrong, seriously, if you've not seenthe show check on the website, they're “Lakoda Rayne” and“inTENcity”; one is a country pop girl group thats name soundslike a porn star and they all dress like slores, and the other is arandom mash up of 10 not exactly talented kids that sound like atheme park show, its painful to watch. My last bit of nitpickery isin the choice of former Pussycat Doll and lover of wearing dresses soshort and tight one most carefully sit down in them or they split inself destructive zones, Nicole Shrerzinger, as a judge. Ok I get it,she's hot, and not everyone is gonna wanna perv at cougartastic andcompletely insane Paula Abdul, but the problem is, even though shelooks good in a tight slore suit, and apparently can sing moderatelywell, she doesn't really have the knowledge base of various genres ofmusic or artists to properly work with the group she was given towork with, the over 30 group. It seems like a mistake to me, and thatsucks because some of the over 30s could win the whole thing, infactI think the three that are left as of the top 12, have strong chancesto win it all, with very few that I can see giving them a run.

Whichleads me to my next point of interest, the actual talent of the show.Now, I have to admit, I see what the other critics have been sayingabout the show being a case of how many talented sob stories can youcram into one show, but Idol falls into that trope too, so I can letit go, but, also, unlike Idol, the talent that makes it through,thanks to the crowd, is infact very talented, not so/so with hopes ofthem growing in the Hollywood rounds, if you don't bring the verybest, you don't have a chance in hell. As for the actual talent ingeneral, they've got some great voices, and some I feel are justthere because they're more of a package or a stage show, then avoice. Recent elimination and possibly the saddest of the sob storiesand James Brown sound-alike, Dexter Haygood, for example, was more ofa stage show then a singer, that doesn't make him any less talentedthen the others, but it makes it harder to showcase him, his uniquebut talented voice, and the stage show that a man who sounds like himwould need, in a show of this nature, he's more of a go see them livesinger then a listen to them on the radio singer, where in contrast,you have someone like LeRoy Bell, a man who was part of the shortlived late 1970s soul group Bell and James, has written songs forElton John, as well as played with Sir Elton as well as B.B King andmany others, who when you listen to his voice, you just sit in wonderof how a man with such an amazing voice and such an ear for music,could have been overlooked for as long as he has been. But LeRoy isall voice and no real show, as a contrast to Dexter. Seriously, itsmind-boggling, look him up.

Thereare other amazing talents as well that I feel have a chance at thecrown, south Florida's contender for new latin diva Melanie Amaro,and lifetime original movie Stacy Francis, who will show down for themost powerful of the female voices, both have a chance at taking thewhole thing if they keep with themselves on track. Other stand outswith a chance to actually make it to the winner's circle include;Rachel Crow, the youngest, and by far the most entertaining of thefinalists, she might be more suited to be the likes of being anacting/singer double punch for a company like Disney that makes itsown child stars then sets them loose in the wild after they grow up,but its ok, she's awesome. Other possible winners are Josh Krajcik, aguy who, when not trying to look like me, but sing astoundinglybetter then I wish I ever could, is normally making burritos at ashopping mall eatery. Josh's voice is amazing and has such a soulfulsound to it, it just amazes me that this guy never went past thesinging in bars stage of music. Another is rapper Chris Rene, who,not only is one of the most uplifting and positive stories in thecompetition, also set the internet on fire with his audition song, anoriginal rap called “Young Homie”, which even had my mother, whois by no means a hip hop lover singing along and standing up andcheering by its end. As well as posibly the dark horse in this race,young soul singer Marcus Canty, who sounds like a soul singerstraight out of the early 1990s, before R&B became bald idiotslike Usher taking their shirts off and showing their abs more thenabout singing, plus, Marcus has the right to claim he sang right to avisibly turned on by his actions Rihanna, who was assisting judge LAReid with selecting his final four, gotta put a guy who can use hisvoice to visibly get one of the world's most sought after women hotin the pants for him, in contention for the crown.

FunFact I found out this week; You might not know the name Shuki Levi,but if you were a child, or had a child between 1983 and now, youhave heard his voice, or music he's composed, Shuki started out inthe early 1980s as a failed pop singer, who was asked by Kenner toysto write and preform the theme songs as well as product the in showmusic for cartoons based on their biggest toy properties at the time;M.A.S.K and Jayce And The Wheeled Warriors, Levi wrote and recordedall the music for both series, even the themes, both of which most1980s pop culture historians claim to be among the best themes of theera, from there Levi became in demand, creating themes and music foreverything from Disney's Gummi Bears, to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(or if you're in the UK Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles) to every singleadaption of The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Levi still puts outalbums of his own music from time to time, though most critics findit odd that a guy that made an artform out of writing a theme to acartoon or a show where people in spandex and motorcycle helmets doparkour to defeat people in foam rubber suits while pyrotechnics gooff wildly behind them, can suck at making actual music for themasses. … And thats a fun fact, that I learned this week, and feltthe need to share with you, because after all, knowledge is power,and knowing is half the battle, and knowing makes you, a superstar.

SongsI'm feeling this week: “Lucky” Katie Kole, “A Change Is AComing” LeRoy Bell, “Dominion Road” The MuttonBirds,“Love The Way You Lie” Meghan Tonjes, “Empire State Of Mind”Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, “Shipping Up To Boston” The DropkickMurphys, “White Trash Beautiful” Everlast, “The Transformers”Lion, “Creepshow” Kerli,“Tessie” The Dropkick Murphys,“Joline” Queen Adreena, “Feel This” Porsah Laine, “CompanionTo A King” Mieka Pauley, “Into The Mystic” Jason Isbell, “SelfDestructive Zones” Drive By Truckers, “Sticks That Make Thunder”Steeldrivers, “Kabuki” by Aloan, “Window pain” Opeth, “OverThe Hills And Far Away” Nightwish, “Akhasmak Ah” Nancy Ajram,

“TheLongest Road” Morgan Page and Lizze (various remixes), “From TheDelta To The Golden Gates” Barbra Blue.

Andthats where I'm gonna finish ride thats so wild that Mr. Toad wisheshis name was involved in it, even though I've no idea why I made aWind In the Willows reference in this day and age, with so littlegiving a crap about it because it doesn't involve vampires orwerewolves, but for now, as I always do, I shall end it with somerandom thoughts, to dazzle, amaze, annoying, and bewilder you all...so.. here we go...

Iseriously do not care for 98% of reality tv. At what point did theworld decide Nickleback still deserves radio play? And on Canadianrock bands, why haven't Big Sugar or The Tragically Hip get the lovethey deserve instead? I'm thinking about giving afew followers ofmine alittle segment where they give me a list of music they'relistening to whenever I get around to writing this each time, kind ofan interactive thing. I really feel glad I sat down and wrote thisout, I forgot how much I missed it. The reason I was away so long isbecause nothing really interesting happened in entertainment, it wasall just reality tv show “star” bullshit, and well I just don'tgive a fuck who Kim Kardashian's giant ass is married too now, peoplewho are famous because they sucked the neverwas brother of a has beenpop singer from the 90s off on video, really shouldn't be “famous”,thats just how I see it I guess. I'm so happy Haven's getting a thirdseason, my life needs more Emily Rose in it. I'm getting really tiredof all these Paranormal shows out there on tv, seriously, I don'tcare if Donny Most from Happy Days had an encounter with a ghost,because more then likely, that ghost was the ghost of his career, itsbeen dead sense 1984 after all. American Horror Story is a lot likeMarchlands, but instead of Alex Kingston hotting things up when itgets boring, you have Dylan McDermitt with out pants on, somehow thatdoesn't really seem like a great trade off to me. Speaking of AlexKingston, if you haven't seen her short “River Song: My Story”from the final episode of Doctor Who Confidential, you have too, itsa wonderful and beautiful thing. I'm so excited Misfits comes backtonight!!! Also, seriously I'm getting tired of waiting for the newBeing Human series to start. Speaking of Being Human, I'd love ashirt that says “Team Annie” mostly because, well, Annie'sawesome. And finally, one last thing I wish you all to remember, andtake with you always, “Akhasmak, aah. Aseebak, la. Wi gowah ilroahhatifdhal habeebi illi ana bah-waah. Bahibbak, aah. Wa afarkak, la.”Remember it always, for its how I feel for all of my fans who lovewhat I write, thank you all so very much.

Andthat is where I shall end it for this installment my fellow IndigoChildren, so until next whenst we meet, I wish you all good times andblessid be your souls.

Wonder Woman 2011

2011-09-27T05:00:00.000-04:00

Unaired Pilots: # 2:

Wonder Woman 2011:

Possibly The Worst Thing I Have Ever Watched

And I've Seen Homeboys In Space... twice.

Superheroes are pretty much in demand right now, between big budget films, critically acclaimed cartoons, and in some cases tv shows that break out of the mold of only comic book fans will watch, or even movies and programs that dare to create their own super-powered beings out doing good and evil. But I'd like to talk about the television aspect for a moment if I could, now I know, in recent years, the idea of a a superhero vs. supervillain type tv show hasn't exactly worked out well, Heroes fell flat by the end of its run, and by the time No Ordinary Family finally started to get going and became good, it was too late to recover from its major stumbles out of the starting gate, and well, The Cape was horrible from the get go, it seemed that really the only who actually did any good and could break the horrible mold, as much as I hate to admit it, was Smallville, a fact that delights my friend Sally to no end. So with Superman's show coming to an end and Batman being the only DC Comics character able to make it on the big screen, it seems logical that someone would want to try and bring the last of DC Comic's "Big Three" back to popular culture's eye, and in that logic, is where the recent attempt at bringing Wonder Woman to television, which thankfully failed. Now after checking around and finally finding a copy of this pilot that wasn't ment to see the light of day, and watching it, I can tell you that its more then likely a good thing this didn't make it to television. But I'll get into that after I explain the plot.

The pilot starts with a young black fellow named Willis Parks, as he rushes into his mom's house and tells her and his sisters that he's just gotten into college thanks to a scholarship, only to start to bleed blood from his eyes and start to convulse and gasp for air. Cut to a somewhat sleazy looking criminal running through a downtown cityscape at a breakneck speed, he's running from our hero, this is the first time you see Wonder Woman, who's running about almost as fast as the guy she's chasing, and once she's had enough chasing, she whips out her lasso and ensnares the would be criminal, in a motion that can only be explained by being more like Scorpion's grapple move from Mortal Kombat, complete with yelling "G'ET OVER 'ERE!!" and all. Once she's disabled this scruffy malcontent out to do villainous debauchery, she draws his blood before the police come to collect him from her. Once they do, there is a short discussion between Wonder Woman and one Ed Indelicato, who states its the law that she hand him over to the police, which she does after a short disagreement between the two.

Next, as we see Wonder Woman flying in her high tech jet toward what we assume is her base of operations, we here the narrative of a current affairs talk show, where the host gives us abit of a background on this version of Wonder Woman, she is Diana Themyscira, the head of a multi-billion dollar company called Themyscira Industries, which I guess among other things, makes a Wonder Woman doll, you know, for the chiggin, more on the doll later. As Diana's walking in off the roof more of the news program plays, you have cameos by O.J Simpson Lawyer Allen Dershiwitz, fat ass windbag Doctor Phil, and whatever the hell Nancy Grace is, these were odd choices because all Phil does is talk about how her outfit makes her look too sexy and objectified and we're all left wondering if Nancy Grace is here taping this, who's out there sensationalizing every police case where a little white girl that goes missing? This is also where we meet Diana's assistants, Henry Jones and Etta Candy. Henry is kind of bitchy and always on about business and "the image" of the company, and Etta, though named to sound like one, is not a stripper at a nudie bar in the ghetto where all the other dancers are named after drinks or cars. At the end of the scene introducing them and showing Wonder Woman is a high profile figure of note, you see Diana dressed in street clothing and putting on glasses while doing her hair up, Henry asks her what she's doing, she says "I'm going home.." he says "But this is your home, you mean that apartment you keep under the Diana Prince identity?" she says yes, then he goes on about how acting as she does can cause multiple personalities, and she says she needs the ID to hide and "feel normal", she then goes to said apartment, and eats some chips while petting her cat and watching sad movies, and telling her cat she has to get around to making herself a facebook page, oh she also as flashbacks of her leaving where ever she was before, I'm assuming Washington DC, to "do some good" in Los Angeles, which also includes leaving her boyfriend Steve Trevor, there really isn't anything that would imply or explain why she picked LA, nor is there any real implication they care about each other.

The next day there is a big press conference where Wonder Woman explains to the world that the man she caught the night before was a super enhanced being who was treated with a drug that is almost completely untraceable and gives you enhanced powers, she also explains it was given to the man by a woman named Veronica Cale, who is the CEO of a giant pharmaceutical company, which she claims is also responsible for the deaths of several inner city athletes with promising careers ahead of them, stating that it almost killed Willis Parks, the black kid from the opening of the episode. After this Diana is whisked off to a meeting where she and her board of directors all sit around and discuss the business that is Wonder Woman, leading to a very awkward and stupidly placed rant by Diana about how Wonder Woman is, and this is a direct quote, "More then just tits and ass..". If this wasn't enough annoying, we're next whipped away to Diana sitting in her office as Etta comes in and tells her that the woman she exposed earlier in the day, Veronica Cale, as arrived to speak with her, concerning her earlier accusations. Which leads to the most uncomfortable and completely overt attempted at building sexual tension between two possibly bisexual super attractive females ever on american television. No, I'm not kidding, the press work even lists Veronica Cale as bisexual in the first sentence of the overview, and i am not exaggerating, the two of them are alone in Diana's office, both of them are wearing dresses they had to be poured into or painted on them cuz they're so tight and form fitting, and the dialog is so overt and blatantly attempting to build sexual tension between the two of them that its almost off-putting to the point you know had it gone to series, they'd have used this to garner a ratings stunt out of it somehow, like when Claire kissed that girl that used to be on The Nanny on Heroes for no real reason and then they just forgot about it. And there is a short pointless scene where a Senator who is in the pocket of Veronica Cale tries to find out what Diana's up too, he says they're sending an investigator to check into her and her methods, she laughs it off.

From here, Diana goes to talk to the guy she caught the night before, and after being told she couldn't see him, she says, and i quote directly here, "do you like my outfit? you know, my outfit opens alot of doors for me.." in what is possibly the sleaziest moment in the entire episode. Before this goes anywhere farther, Ed Indelicato comes up and tells the officer to leave, him and Diana have a brief arguement and then he leaves her alone with the guy for 5 minutes. In that 5 minutes she breaks his fingers and arm and he tells her were all the biological drug testing is happening, and where anyone that is harmed by the drugs is kept. She then hops in her weird little jet and flies off, after telling Ed where she's going. After a scene of her flying about where you see the inside of the jet, Ed calls Diana on her cellphone, and tells her that if she breaks into the location, that makes it a crime scene, and anything found while they're investigating the break in can be used legally as evidence. Which i guess makes sense in the land of people who don't understand the law. This also leads to the most screwed up thing of all time, the climatic fight scene, ok well not so much climatic so much as slightly better then those boring 30 second rogue angel fights in that Ghost Rider movie no one but me watched, which reminds me, you all need to remember, I watched that film for all of you so it would save your souls.

Anyway, you cut to the warehouse, where Veronica has instructed her muscular henchman to stop Wonder Woman at all costs, I shall call her henchman "GunShow" because he's constantly posing while showing off his muscles, seriously, no one wants you to take them to the gun show, thats why you got fired from that GNC supplement shop in the sad mall. So Gunshow agrees, and says him and his "men" will handle her. Next thing you see is Gunshow and his men talking about how there is only one wonder woman and she can't beat all 20 of them, honestly, I'm kind of amazed they weren't seacresting out at this point, when you suddenly hear a banging on the near by gate, then another bang, and a third bang, at which point the gate rolls up, and standing there, in the classic wonder woman outfit for some reason thats unknown to us, is Wonder Woman, the look on her face means she's either gonna get gangbanged or she's about to beat the shit out of Gunshow and his wash outs from the WWE, honestly at this this point in the horrible story I was kinda hoping it would be the gangbang to save me from some of this horseshit, but I was wrong, I was horrible wrong, she fights them, with almost effortless ease, which makes me wonder, she can dispense 20 guys with a punch and a kick and afew cracks of the lasso, but it takes her three tries to break a gate open? Not even Heroes at its worst was this bad with power consistency! After beating Gunshow and all his cartoon pals, Wonder Woman walks down a hallway where she finds an armed guard, he fires at her, and she, in classic wonder woman styley, deflects the bullets off her bracelets, after he empties his clip which she deflects, she then picks up a near by lead pipe and THROWS IT THROUGH HIS MOTHERFUCKING THROAT and half way through the door behind him, he hits it so hard it knocks it off the hinges. She walks over him and finds Veronica standing there, they have a short fist fight/rough lesbian sex foreplay moment, which ends with Veronica lifted off her feet against a wall, then thrown to the floor as Diana walks past here and finds where the drugs she's been on about all episode are being tested on men, and sees the ones that all it did was disfigure and mutate. At this point Ed walks in and says they've got everyone in custody and they're shutting the operation down. After this you see Veronica being taken to jail on television, then you find out the "inspector" the senator mentioned earlier was the guy Diana left to come to LA, you know, because they needed one more obvious plot issue to deal with.

End, fade to credits.

Now that I've given you all the blow by blow, lets get down to the nitty gritty dirt band of all, shall we? First off, let me state, this pilot, and the final draft of the pilot's script that hit the internet afew months ago, are NOT the same, either this was an original version of the pilot and then they ordered it remade, which happens more times then you think, recent cases where the US remake of the british series Life On Mars, which had a massively bad original pilot, and a redo was ordered, plus many cases of unaired pilots of shows that have never seen the light of day. The reason I say this about the pilot is simply, that alot of what the script we were all told is the final script from shooting, isn't in this pilot. The running "joke" about suing Katy Perry for dressing as Wonder Woman in a video with out permission, as well as the "I kissed a girl" jokes about Diana and Veronica, are missing, the script had lots of cues for songs to be used, none of which were in this, almost all of the pop culture references are gone completely, the script also had swearing which would be bleeped out here in the states, but let air outside the country, but all there was as far as adult language goes is you hear "tits" twice and "ass" once, but nothing else comes close to harsh language. And this might be a nitpicky thing, but, the opening chase scene isn't what it is written as either, in the script Wonder Woman is running down Hollywood Blvd, and she's running into people dressed as everyone from Buzz Lightyear and SpongeBob Squarepants as well as pretty much every known marvel and dc superhero you can think of, the last of which being a very well endowed prostitute dressed as her, which would lead to the outburst in the meeting about the looks of the Wonder Woman doll that happens afterwards, also the script implied it would run add free, but there are are clearly add breaks in this.

Now that aside, lets focus on whats wrong with this actual pilot instead of pointing out whats missing, and well, whats wrong is, well most of the pilot infact. Sigh, lets see, where to start... First off, the outfit itself, I understand its a television show not a movie, and the budget won't be exactly the same, but the outfit looks literally like it was taken off the rack at a costume shop that has an adults only section, I'm serious, also its too tight, now I'm as much a fan of checking out hot women in skimpy things as the next upstanding gentleman who is wise to the ways of the world, but honestly seeing Adrianne Palicki's breasts muffin top the outfit because its so small on her, it starts to become abit distracting and takes you completely out of the show at times because its so overtly obvious you find yourself hating it whenever you see it, also though the boots look like your standard issue red and gold hooker boots, the pants Wonder Woman wears for all but the final fight scene, seriously look like a pair of stretch pants taken right off the post July 4th clearance rack at Walmart, and the trademark lasso thats always on her side looks like someone cut the end off of a golden glitter jump rope that someone got at a dollar store at the last minute.Seriously, I'm not exaggerating or nitpicking, the outfit really is bad enough to spend a whole paragraph on.

Other things that are wrong is, ofcourse the script itself, it lacks any real feel of structure and is devoid of most attempts at telling a story, in a remotely proper way, and it fails to make us really see any of the stories its trying to string together, the scene with Steve Trevor told in flashback completely misses even giving him a name, and really makes no sense at all other then to tell you Diana lived somewhere else then moved to LA "to use her powers for good", you have no idea where they are, who Steve is until his name is mentioned near the end of the pilot, you also don't have a clue why she feels her powers would be best used in LA instead of say, Washington DC or New York City or one of DC's many fictional cities of note Metropolis, Gotham City, Keystone City, Coast City, ect, you're just expected to believe she just felt the best place for her to use her powers, was the city of angels for no real reason other then to just go there. Plus, there is no actual reference to the fast she's an amazon princess, there is a joke about amazons, but thats it, no reference in the very little we're told of her of her coming to the "world of man" or anything, its just, like she somehow forgot who she is, and the writer completely forgot to tell us this fact, seriously, its kind of annoying once you get down into it. My other massive issues is, Wonder Woman has no concept of the the law, and how justice works, in the real world you can't hold a press conference to say someone is doing something illegal and then expect everyone to trust your word on that simply because you're you, we call that "slander" here in the states, and its against the law, hell its even against Branigan's Law. She also has no issue torturing people, you know, because thats what heroes do, oh wait, I'm from the world that makes sense, where anti-heroes like Cable, Wolverine, Punisher, Lobo, Batman and the like all torture to get information, but heroes like Superman and Captain America and the like do not torture, Wonder Woman doesn't torture, she uses her magic lasso, which when tied around a person will make them tell the truth, I guess someone in the writing department forgot its for more then snapping a motherfucker's neck like a matchstick, but the thing that bugs me most of all, even far beyond the implication that Diana's secretly bisexual and is secretly attracted to Veronica Cale, who again, the synopsis points out in the first line about her, is very bisexual, and even farther beyond the fact they try to make Wonder Woman a mix of Batman and Iron Man, or the whole has three identities thing, above all of that, what gets me the most is how effortlessly, and willingly, Diana kills. Seriously there was no reason for her to toss a pipe through the throat of a security guard who was out of bullets for his gun, just because you're a door guard at a super secret super evil research building, does not make you guilty of being involved with what goes on there, she seriously murdered a possibly innocent person, and no one bothered to even call her out on it. It was seriously mindblowing.

So the big question, is it really worth it? No. It falls into the same category as the unaired pilots for the american versions of shows like Red Dwarf, The Vicker of Dilbey, Absolutely Fabulous, Little Mosque On The Prairie, and countless others that just should be relegated to things people who are only in the know and get a kick out of such things keep and show their friends, and should never ever be shown the light of day. But if you wanna have a good laugh, or wanna see Elizabeth Hurley as a purely evil super hot and super bisexual criminal as she flirts with Adrianne Palicki in a way too tight pleather top from Victoria's Secret or see that believe it or not, the crap that does make the air, isn't always as bad as the crap that doesn't make on the air, then by all means search it out and see if maybe you can find it, and then be amazed at the horror show that follows. Or just avoid it and run like the wind, your choice.

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BC

Weep For The Children: A Rant About Children's Films

2011-09-16T16:25:00.000-04:00

Weep For The Children:

A Small Rant About The State Of Children's Films

Recently, I had the displeasure of watching what passes for children's films these days. And after finding myself surprisingly able to hold in the rage and blood vomit from the full frontal assault of endless one liners aimed at being the children related equivalent of an internet meme, followed by endless pointless visual and audio gags and pointlessly uptight people played for "comedy" in completely watered down and ignorant tasteless lazy attempts at film making, I found myself thinking about it, and thinking how the genre of children's films has gone from a genre of much beloved classics that span the gambit of most genres; action/adventure, sci fi, comedy, animation, drama, and to the extent of just scary enough to give alittle fright, but not nightmares, there is even some things that would be seen as horror, well to a child anyway.

I can remember my childhood watching such great films as The Goonies, Time Bandits, the Explorers, The Neverending Story, Watership Down, and many others that when held up to what is made today, there is almost no honest way to compare, you look at the films of generations past, and you can clearly see the difference, there was storytelling, there was actual acting, there was conflict where a villain, though comical, was clearly a villain not some random uptight adult figure who is uptight for no real reason other then they're an adult. And bullies are bullies who are more then just a simple vague idea of a bully thats been watered down as to not offend anyone. Think about it, can you honestly put any modern children's movie bad guy up against characters like The Nothing, or Jenner from The Secret Of NIMH or The Red Bull from The Last Unicorn, or hell even Judge Dredd from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Hell can you even pick out a clear definitive out and out bad guy in any modern kids movie? One thats a legitimate evil person and not some adult trying to force a group of children to follow the rules but only ends up the punchline of 90 minutes worth of fart jokes, followed by one or all of said children screaming whatever the line they want kids to remember from the film at the top of their vocal range? Yeah, if you're having trouble, don't worry, you aren't the only one. I've sat down for a good long while, looked through my DVDs, my VHS, downloaded stuff, and went through every single list I could find of children's movies, and I couldn't really find one that had a truly scary definitively bad guy in them, its sad really.

But I noticed something else when I was looking through my lists and timelines, I found when this change from classic beloved children's movies that didn't talk down to you or insult the viewers, changed over the predominate slop they have now, it was, surprisingly, the same year I credit for children's programing and well entertainment in general going down hill, 1990, the year Jim Henson died, and the year a movie aimed at children came out that some of you might have heard of, it goes by the name of "Home Alone". Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Home Alone, but it signaled a change in how movies aimed at children were made, much like how Toy Story changed the way CGI films were made, it proved that if you take a young child who seems likable and funny and has just enough acting skill to make it believable that they can pull off being on screen for most of the film, set said child with an unlimited access to just bout anything in the house he will ever need, with no parents to tell him no, regardless of the danger involved, and somehow allow him to outwit some apparently stupid adults who are underestimating said child, and have each scene be literally visual gag over visual gag, followed by pretty lame 2rd grade level jokes and mugging dumb faces at the camera. This formula seems to have been the entire point of that film, and 90% of the films aimed at children sense then, have followed the same path, the problem is, though it worked once, that doesn't mean it will work again, lightening rarely strikes twice, no matter how much Hollywood would like you to think otherwise.

Now this isn't saying that every children's movie before 1990 was a work of art, believe me, for every wonderful amazing film like The Dark Crystal there was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Turtles In Time, much like for every Harry Potter film there has been twice as many Land Before Time films, but you get the idea, I'm not really crapping on the last 20 or so years, I'm just pointing out there is a massive lack of quality that started to slide back then and has been continuity sliding down the water slide of fail faster and faster as each year goes, and its really alarming, not just to me as a writer, but as a movie lover as I am, its sad to see a genre that went from such giant and brilliant productions as Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory and The Phantom Tollbooth which where just so amazingly visual and well written, has fallen to such horrible and lazy films as Unaccompanied Minors and the completely lazily named and lazily written film Hotel For Dogs. I just wish the people who make this slop, and more so, the people who write it, would look at what they're doing, and realize they aren't doing anything but dumbing down the youth of the world with their lack of ability to tell a compelling story.

Now to some this whole thing might not seem like a big deal, but think about it, each generation of film makers are inspired by the movies they watch as children, and sense I'm pretty sure most parents won't let their kids watch movies by Stanley Kubrick, Akira Kurosawa, James Whale, Jean-Luc Godard, Howard Hawks, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, just to name afew, or even the more recent brilliance of some of the more recent directors who have shown they are very good at what they do, I know it makes me sound old, but honestly, I weep for what the next generation of film makers, and the films they will make, when they have the crap thats out there now to inspire them.

And if the rest of you think about it, maybe you will too. Or maybe I need to put a dollar in the Douchebag Jar.

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BC

3D: A Mini-Rant

2011-09-06T22:42:00.002-04:00

How 3D Killed Summer Movies: A Mini-Rant

I remember as a kid, going to see a 3D movie was a cool event, it was a rarity and a treat and almost every single scene was designed and shot just to use that technology to its fullest, just as it was back in the 1950s when it was first used to mass effect. See back then, a 3D movie was a big deal, you had to shoot a movie in a completely different way, you had to use special cameras and when framing your shots would have too basically pander to the fact the film is in 3D, and ofcourse, it would be awesome, be it a spaceship flying at you headlong at a breakneck speed and shooting its photons as fast as Machine Gun Kelly would shoot a tommy gun, or Jaws coming up out of the water at you like you're a fun size snickers bar and he's had nothing to eat all day long, and all the many uses in between, but either way, shooting a film in 3D was alot harder then it is now. See nowadays, like with most things in hollywood, 3D is simply a filter applied to an already finished digitalized copy of a film, normally a final theatrical cut made as a second disc after the master has already been put on blu ray. Its a simple filter that anyone with Avid editing software and is aware one of the many filters you can get to add onto it is infact the same 3D filter that is used by the studios (Avid is still the king of hollywood video editing, no matter what mac tries to tell you about their video editing software). And though that has lead to so many interesting changes, just like in the theatrical films, it really seems unneeded and just another excuse to milk more money out of us all.

Now to some this might just sound like me being an angry nerd who bitches and complains about just about anything that isn't what I feel my personal idea of something should be, and I guess that statement wouldn't be 100% wrong, but it also wouldn't be 100% right either, for you see, its simple common sense and logic, mixed with a love of film that its hard for some to understand. Now, for just a minute, think about all the movies that have come out in 3D in a post Avatar cinematic landscape, now, of them, how many of them actually fit the concept of 3D? How many of them had something flying at the camera every scene? How many intentionally aimed things at the camera every single scene to give you that "brought into the film" feel that you get with 3D? Now, how many of them only had one or two scenes where the 3D visuals were even used? And how many had no scenes at all where it was needed, and felt like you were just suckered into paying an extra 4 dollars just to watch a film with a pair of glasses that weren't cleaned before you wore them and all you can smell is whatever the person before you was eating while wearing them? I'm betting there is alot more in that last category then in the others. Honestly, did you really need 3D for Captain America? I loved that film, but no. Did you need it for Transformers: Dark Of The Moon? Again, I loved that film, but no. Did you need it for The Smurfs? I don't know because I refused to watch that pile of dung, but from what I've been told it didn't need it, nor did so many other films, it seems like for the past year and a half or so, every single movie has been available in standard visual format, or "2D" and as well as in the modern take on 3D. And honestly it just doesn't need to be. Its not worth the ramming it down our throats, just for afew extra dollars and some glasses we're gonna steal because we got suckered into paying extra for a film that didn't need extra effects. I've always said this, if a film needs some extra filter tacked onto it in post production just to get sales, its not a good film. Did The Godfather need gimmicks? no. Did Back To The Future need gimmicks? no. Did Ghost Dad need gimmicks? Well it might have helped that pile of shit, actually. But anyway my point remains, a good film, should be seen as a good film, not a film where the only thing you remember from it is the one scene where Yogi Bear shot bear snot at the screen, or where a prehistoric piranha spit out someone's penis right at the camera. Thats not cinema, thats pandering to the easiest and lowest demographics for the easy cash. Its an insult to movies everywhere. Maybe I'm an old bitchy grumpy bastard on this, but it bothers me beyond more then when a well deserved film gets passed over for some flash in the pan gone in a month then on dvd two months later that really pissed people off instead of making the theater raving about what they just saw.

And now I've gotten that off my chest, I'm good now

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BC

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

2011-07-29T15:16:00.000-04:00

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon:

Amazingly, With All The Brilliant Homages To Transformers Mythos

Micheal Bay Still Manages To Make Robotic Nightmare Fuel Awesome

For the few of you out there who are loyal readers, and for those of you who know me, you are all aware that among my many geek tenancies, the one that overpowers all is my love of The Transformers, I am the definition of lifelong fan, with a collection boarders on wasting my entire life spent in an eternal pokemon like hunt for new or old ones I am missing, and a collective value to match. I am constantly rambling off trivia about the various versions of the tv show or toys, to the point it annoys most around me. One of the most rambled off facts is how I really didn't care much for 2009's Revenge Of The Fallen, feeling it was made with almost no care or thought or even with out a real plot, almost to the point someone honestly thought because all of us Transformers fans came running like the bulls in Pamplona to anything with the transformers name, we'll pile money into anything. And yes, we flocked to Revenge Of The Fallen in almost Exodus like fashion, but that didn't stop us, myself included, from pointing out its many flaws, but assuming that like with every film series, there is always that one film that isn't as good as the others; with Star Wars its Jedi, with Harry Potter its The Half Blood Prince, with Back To The Future its Part 2, with Dirty Harry it was The Death Pool, and so on, it just happens that ours, we hoped, would just be Revenge Of The Fallen, and thankfully, that assumption was true. For you see, Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon has done what it was ment to do, show us all that Micheal Bay was sorry for how horrible the film before it was, and to maintain a promise he made to us all that the final film in his trilogy would be beyond epic, and oh my, did he ever make this film beyond epic!

What Bay did was almost as epic as his bold promises and statements that he was going to use Dark Of The Moon to make up for how bad Revenge Of The Fallen was, he made the writers sit and watch all of the original cartoon from the 1980s, something both writers stated they really hadn't done "but ment too" and from that, they not only took a plot for the film itself, but found many bits to homage that only us life long fans would have gotten, Bay also made them read what the film's fan consultant felt was the best comic books to give you the feel they're going for as well, which ofcourse lead to even more Easter eggs tossed in for the long time fans, which delighted so very many people, even if some things seemed a tad forced and like they slightly missed the point, but you have to allow for stuff like that, not everything is gonna always work outside the original context, and thats fine. Because what does work is just so awesome that afew weeks after seeing it for the first time, and only recently seeing it again to refresh before writing this, I'm as excited as I was the first time I saw the film, which as any of you will know is an astounding feat unto itself.

The plot of the film itself, is where the homages to the fanbase begin, but I'll explain all of that later. The film starts in 1969 on the day the first moon landing happened, they use the fact that there was that 20 minute gap in footage and broadcast rely to explain that the astronauts investigated and then brought back various things from, a giant space ship that crashed not far from the moon landing site. After that we are transported into the modern era were we once again meet up with our hapless male lead Sam Witwicky who is now living in Washington DC and is trying to find a job, because I guess saving the world twice, and getting a medal from President Obama, not only doesn't get you free college, it also doesn't get you a pretty sweet job working in the government with the robots whom you have helped save the entire world. Yes, apparently, saving the world kinda sucks. But, you get a brand new insanely hot blond girlfriend who works for some high up consulting company, who doesn't care that you were dumped by your last girlfriend for some unknown reason, but you were left with her pet robot who turns into a radio controlled car, and his weird little friend who turns into a laptop, and she also left you with her dog, this is Sam's life while BumbleBee is off doing top secret autobot stuff, which also leaves him with a broke ass old Datson to drive about in, Sam, as you can guess, isn't really all that happy. We then see the Autobots as they travel around the world tracking down any signal of energon they can find, making sure that its not a decepticon. In doing this, they discover, inside the reactor at Chernobyl, there is a power cell that is of Autobot technological basing. Not only that, but its from The Ark, which we found out is the name of the ship on the moon. To say this pisses the autobots off is an understatement beyond all comprehension.

When the autobots return to base, they not only meet a new agent from the Department of Defence whom they must deal with, but accuse her of holding out on them, which she then states she was going to brief them on, or more so, have someone more close to the mission brief them on it, that person being legendary astronaut Buzz Aldrin, who explains he was sent to the moon to investigate the wreckage, and bring back samples and photos of what they see. Prime decides they must take the ship the last group of autobots came to earth in to fly up and investigate the wreck himself. After introducing the ship's crew "The Wreckers" as they're called, and being explained we've not met them yet because they're kept on site at NASA simply because they're, and I quote directly here, "A couple of assholes", Prime and Ratchet head to the wreckage of The Ark, where they discover only a small amount of pillars for what they call a "Space Bridge" they also discover the body of a former autobot leader, Sentinel Prime, whom Optimus claims was autobot leader before he was, and that he disappeared after creating The Space Bridge, a long distance teleportation system. They take him and what they've gathered, back to earth where Optimus revives Sentinel Prime with the power of the Matrix of Leadership. And from there, once the main cast is set, and they discover that Megatron's plan is to bring their home planet of Cybertron into orbit around earth, in true transformers style, it becomes almost nonstop action with bot on bot action, bot on Sam action, and general mindless and limitless ultra violence sent at you via breakneck speed with many wonderful and amazing action scenes, that range from amazing to dazzling to completely outstanding, and it doesn't let up till the very end through all the twists and turns and surprises along the way, Micheal Bay takes us on a rollercoaster ride one more time, and we all love it. All the way to the very end, which it really pains me to leave out a big chunk of the film so you don't get over spoilered or lost shock value, I've been trying to keep from giving way more then the first 20 or so minutes of the film, and well trust me, it pains me to not tell you! lol but you'll all have to see how it all goes for yourselves. I will say this though, the final battle between the Autobots and Decepticons, gets COMPLETELY dark, like, we're talking Deer Hunter POW camp dark, like to the point I actually felt alot of it was a tad TOO violent and unsettling, which really says something.

Now I'd like to explain why this movie was doubly amazing and just plain awesome, it was full of what we in the transformers fandom call "fanwank" or as most of the world would call them Easter Eggs, and let me tell you, this film is FULL of them. The Space Bridge is from the original cartoon, it was a transwarp transportation system that could send you from earth to Cybertron in afew seconds (though to be fair by the end of season 1 they'd traveled there via ship in what seemed like no more then afew hours max, so no one's really sure how far away the planet is), and at one point, in a multi part story called "The Ultimate Doom" where Megatron brought the planet to earth's orbit to try and generate power from all the earthquakes and floods that would happen if another planet came that close to earth, they literally lifted the concept from that episode, that also featured a human working with the Decepticons, however that plot point was more lifted from "Megatron's Master Plan" where he promised a rich business man reign over the enslaved population of earth once they took over everything, when all they had to do is convince the world leaders to banish The Autobots from the planet, and then take over, only be be double crossed. The scene with Megatron sitting on what used to be the Lincoln Memorial is taken from the episode "Atlantis Arise" though admittedly, it was ALOT funnier when you see it in animation form. There are other awesome homages too, The Ark was the name of Optimus Prime's ship in most versions of the mythos, and it normally crashes on earth, and in one case in the series "armada" did crash on the moon, it looked alot like the wreckage in the film. In every incarnation of the series that Sam "Spike" Witwicky appears, he dates and then marries a blond tech genius named Carley, though Dark Of The Moon is the first time she's depicted as British, this was to correct the fact that most of the fanbase were upset at this whole Mikaela Banes thing we had to sit through in the other two films. Shockwave as a solitary hunter is a play on his lone warrior of logic persona from the comic books, and his "pet" the Driller looks alot like a creature from the cartoon called The Dweller who ate the lifeforce of Transformers. And finally, possibly the best fanwank of all, when Laserbeak, the small bird like decepticon is hiding out as a photocopier, he beeps afew bars of the original cartoon's opening theme. I've seen this film 4 times now, and I'm not kidding he really does it, its the greatest thing of all time. Now how the hell is all of that for packing all sorts of fan love into one film? Simply amazing.

So ofcourse now we come to the big question, is Transformers: Dark Of The Moon worth watching? Well the answer is yes and no, it all depends on your taste and point of view. If you're a life long fan of the transformers, then its a must see, hell the fanwank alone makes it almost a religious experience, if you're a lover of action movies, then its a must, its 100% pure Micheal Bay style awesome and explosions and complex but insanely awesome action scenes that go on forever, you'll love it. However, if you are a parent, and your child wanting to go see it, then please, keep the kids away from this one, there is alot of swearing, which really is no big deal, in the 1986 animated movie we had swearing, but more so, this one isn't for the kiddies simply by the amount of dark and twisted violence in it. I'm not kidding, from about the half way point when a major plot point happens, the cast starts to drop like flies, all in very dark ways, infact during the final battle there is a scene where the autobots are lined up like POWs and Soundwave says "Understood, no prisoners, only war trophies", then he and the rest of the decepticons not only execute one of the autobots by means of shooting him in the back of the head, but then they attempt to shoot another one by shoving him down over the body of the one they just killed. Its a seriously unsettling scene, that might be nightmare fuel for the younger viewers of the world. So keep that in mind when deciding if its something you want your young ones to see. So there you have it, possibly the most nerded up review you'll ever read of a transformers film. My only hope is that assuming they do a second trilogy, they'll do more with it, maybe explore pre-earth life for the transformers, or something. So many ideas, but time will tell. So for now, if you're up to it, go enjoy this marvelous film.

And if you still need convincing, here is the trailer...

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BC

Captain America: The First Avenger

2011-07-28T14:33:00.000-04:00

Captain America: The First Avenger:

When Captain America Slings His Mighty Shield,

All Those Who Chose To Appose The Shield Must Yield...

Anyone that knows me, and has long, dragged out, "conversations" with me about how comic book movies should be made, will tell you, I've always said that in a post 9/11 world, the only way you could make a Captain America film work would be to set it in World War 2 and then progress later on to modern times. Anything else, given the world climate these days, would be dismissed as American propaganda going full tilt boogie straight into a giant wall of what the world believes in general these days. I know it sounds mean, but its the truth however harsh it might be. With that said, and the horrible memories of such failed films as X-Men 3, Wolverine, Daredevil, Ghost Rider, ManThing, Electra, and two Fantastic Four, two Punisher and ofcourse three Spiderman movies still ringing in my head, as they always do, when I heard that Marvel agreed with what I believed in regards to setting up a proper movie for Cap, who is ofcourse, their biggest icon of all. I looked forward to this film with the same excitement as I did for X-Men First Class and Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon, hoping it would be as good as I was dreaming it to be. And thankfully, my dreams, my hopes, all of it, were well placed, for this film was amazing!

The film starts out in the modern day north pole where a long believed lost secret jet is found, and onboard is possibly the greatest find in all of history. Then we jump backwards to a world not different from what we know of the accepted origins of Captain America, young Steve Rogers is a kid from Brooklyn who wants to go into the army to serve his country in a post pearl harbor world war 2, Steve is small, weak and asthmatic, and he though he enlists many times using different last names, he keeps getting rejected, though this doesn't stop him from wanting to be like his best friend James "Bucky" Barnes, who is soon leaving for basic training and then off to Europe to stomp those goose stepping Nazis into the ground and free Europe, and by proxy, the world, and you know, all that other jazz they told the troops of World War 2. Steve and Bucky's relationship is changed greatly from the original material, which is refreshing, I'll get more into that later. After a night out at Conney Island with Bucky and some girls he'd gotten them dates with, Steve decides to give his dream of being an enlisted man one more shot, and after getting the attention of the recruiter for being there a second time that day, Steve is introduced to a Doctor by the name of Abraham Erskine, a German born scientist who asks Steve alot of questions, and then accepts him into the army as part of a "Special project". As this is going on, we also flash to Norway, where a German officer by the name of Johann Schmidt is storming a monastery for what he calls an artifact of great power, claiming it is older then time itself and was said to once be the crowning jewel of Odin's Treasure Room (a lovely tip of the cap to Thor, marvel's film before this one), which after not falling for a decoy, and discovering where the real one was hidden with in the same room, Schmidt shoots the monk guarding his prize, and then sets off with his troops for parts unknown.

From here we jump between Steve and Schmidt as they set themselves on their collision course, Steve training for the special program he was allowed into, all the other recruits and their commanding officer Chester Phillips, treat him like crap, trapping him under barbwire fences, mocking him as he gets caught in riggings, ect, general military dickery, Phillips tells Dr. Erskine he feels Rogers will be a horrible choice for the program, and suggests another solider who is the definition of what a solider should be. Erskine states he does not wish for that man to be the subject simply because he is a bully, and he feels no good will come from making him a more powerful bully, he then tells Phillips that he's chosen Steve, for he will not only show the best growth potential of the project, but also because he's a good person and he feels giving a good person that kind of power would be best for the world. That night Erskine and Steve talk after Erskine tells Steve he's been picked for the project, he then tells Steve that the experiment not only enhances your body, but it enhances everything about you, your strength, your intelligence, your personality, every single thing about you becomes enhanced to the peak of what it can be. He then tells Steve of how he was working on the serum in his native Germany, and though it wasn't as refined as it was now, he was forced to use it on a high ranking Nazi who would go on to be called "The Red Skull". On the other side of the world, Schmidt has returned to his base of operations high in the mountains of Europe, where we meet Arnim Zola, Schmidt's second in command of a special branch of the Nazi party called "HYDRA", where they make advanced super high tech weapons and equipment for Hitler, its revealed the object Schmidt found is a glowing cube which he claims is all the power and knowledge in the universe, as they are testing they're visited by an envoy of Nazis sent by Hitler to check on their progress with all things super science. When Schmidt refuses to let them in on his newest find, believing it too powerful for just anyone to get their hands on, they then tell him that Hitler wishes to dissolve Hydra, believing its a failed experiment, and in quoting Hitler on the matter, they refer to Schmidt as "The Red Skull". Schmidt then shows them the very power he'd harnessed by using it to destroy them. He then proclaims that Hydra has struck out on its own, believing that the Nazis are limited, he then reveals that he has been wearing a mask all this time, and as a side effect of the early version of the Serum, it turned Schmidt's head into a red colored skull.

Back in the states Steve has been introduced to Peggy Carter, a British intelligence officer who is involved with Erskine's project now dubbed "The Super Solider Project", she explains what it is as she takes Steve to the project's base of operation, a secret facility behind an antique's store in Brooklyn, not far from where Steve grew up. Peggy leads Steve into a very back room where he sees the doctor and various other people involved, including Harold Stark, a rich technology firm owner who works super secret projects for the government, Steve is placed on a table with what looks to be a special injection chamber on it, Steve is strapped in, the chamber closes around him and he's injected with the super solider serum, which after they think it hasn't worked, has not only worked, but has altered Steve into a whole different man, growing taller and more muscular, literally becoming the peak of human perfection. The officials in viewership cheer and claim this is going to tip the war in their favor. As they cheer, a spy deep inside tries to steal the one vile left of Super Solider Serum and then shoots Erskine dead, before rushing out to get to the harbor and his hidden mini-sub. Steve, instinctively, chases after him through the streets of Brooklyn with out realizing how more advanced his body has become, he does catch him, but he takes a suicide pill and dies before Steve can bring him in for questioning. After this, for whatever reason, Steve is, not used as a solider, but a PR machine, being called Captain America and wearing his trademark suit, is sent around the states with dancing girls doing a song and dance show to raise war bond money, until he's in Italy, and discovers that Bucky's unit was captured, and against orders, he singlehandedly saves then all, gaining the respect of not only the troops, but of the high up brass as well. From there, and still using the Captain America name, Steve is tasked with creating his own commando unit, tasked with taking down Hydra, and helping to win the war.

As you would expect the film from here becomes your classic war film with the us vs. them mentality, Cap and his crew start taking out and looting Hydra equipment gathering more intel on Hydra's plans and how they operate, eventually leading them to capture Zola, The Red Skull's right hand man, who after awhile gives up the location of the headquarters for Hydra, and Cap and his team get their raid on, leading to the final showdown between Cap and The Red Skull, which comes full circle to the opening sequence of the film, and then lightly deals with Captain America being woken up 70 years in his future, and the shock that causes, and ofocurse, a lead in to the Avengers film at the end, as is customary with all recent Marvel films. Over all, the film was great in not only giving you a back story for Captain America, one thats true enough to the original that we all know to be pleasing to the hardcore fans, and tweaked enough to make the few new additions better, its truly a great film over all, my only real dislike in the film, had nothing at all to do with the film itself, it had to do with how rudely the guy parked next to me and my family at the Milford Drive In (in Milford NH where I went to see the film), who kept stating all the recent marvel movies were setting up for a film about "The Justice League" got when I corrected him, claiming I was wrong and that I should mind my own business, which, after seeing the after credits scene with Cap and Fury, which leads to the teaser trailer for The Avengers, lead to me giving him a big middle finger, and a threaten of a fight until he saw how tall and muscular I am, which lead him and his date to find another spot to park for the second film. But that aside, I found nothing wrong with the film, I totally loved it.

The few changes they did make I rather enjoyed greatly, the idea of Steve Rogers being the younger and weaker kid who was always getting beaten up and had to be watched out for by Bucky, the older and stronger kid was a nice reversal of roles, where in the original stories, Bucky was the weakly teenager who Steve took on and trained and would dress up in outfit and fight crime and nazis with him, thankfully in this version Bucky does not wear a hero outfit, but, as with all versions of the story, he does die, and it fuels Cap on to victory, which is odd because the guy who plays Bucky, Sebastian Stan, claims he's signed on to do more then just one film, maybe we'll see him in Avengers as Bucky's revived incarnation The Winter Solider? Or in flashbacks? The plot doth thicken. I also liked how the movie served as a means to introduce a key part of world war 2 marvel, that most people forget because they weren't actually made during the 1940s, I'm speaking of The Howling Commandos. the comic book was created in the early 1960s and is seen by many as the first official retcon in comic books, retroactively putting Nick Fury (who's white in the original marvel universe) and his crack unit of misfits turned heroes, The Howling Commandos, into Marvel's 1940s lore, long before they became founders of SHIELD. In Captain America, basically Cap and Bucky are put into the group to replace Fury at the head, simply because movie universe Nick Fury is too young to have been in World War 2, and I must admit, when i saw Dum Dum Duggan's trademark mustache, I did yell out with delight because of how perfect they got him, and the others as well. This film really was, in a sense, a love letter to some of the best comics of decades long sense past and an era almost completely forgotten thanks to retcons and reboots and the out and out whoring of Wolverine to the masses. I also will go on record as saying that though most will complain about the awkward and kind of creepy looking CGI they did on Chris Evans before he was injected with the serum, to make him look as small as they did, I personally liked it, it worked way better then having someone else with his face CGI'd on or something. I loved that Stark was not played by Robert Downey Jr. I do love him as Tony Stark, but he just didn't really fit the concept of what his father should be, plus if he did that, then you'd get that whole Star Trek Worf playing his grandfather in Star Trek 6 nonsense, and no one wants that.

So at this point, you're ofcourse asking yourself the big question, is it really worth going and seeing this film? And your answer is, ofcourse, YES, it is more then worth going to see it, its a brilliant film for comic book fans, for world war 2 movie fans, for sci fi world war 2 films, for action movies in general, its just such a great film for so many levels, specially how they work both the traditional Cpatain America suit in, as well as the one from marvel's ultimate line, which is ment to follow more along the lines of the movies and allow for reinvention and such. I truly do commend the staff for taking what is to many holy land in comic books and making it the perfect blend of traditional and new enough to bring in new readers and fans, and also to perfectly set up for the Avengers, which looks so perfectly amazing and has be excited already. So yeah, if you get a chance, or want a good film you can enjoy thats not gonna bore you like The Tree Of Life did, then by all means, you gotta see this one.

But if you aren't convinced yet, here is a trailer to show you the awesome...

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BC

Green Lantern

2011-07-09T04:46:00.000-04:00

Green Lantern:

Well, Atleast It Was Still Better Than

Superman Returns... Kinda.

I believe it was the great Adam West who, while wearing his iconic guise as 1960s Batman, said "Somedays, You just can't get rid of a bomb..", a sort of tongue in cheek nod to what many Hollywood higher-ups believed of the idea of taking Batman from the small screen to the big screen, and though this line would go on to define one of the greatest camp films of all time, in a less fun way, it also defines the way that nearly every movie based on a DC Comics character that has followed that lovely bit of camp history, and yes all you hardcore comic nerds out there, I said "nearly every" because Superman and Superman II, as well as the Nolan Batman films and Watchmen are infact, brilliant films. For some reason, which no one can really figure out, all the things that DC Comics Animation division gets right, DC Comic's movie division gets wrong, well unless its Batman, its frustrating really, watching the constant build up and build up and almost Icarisian fall from the top of the box office to relative obscurity outside of its core fandom. As some of you either already know, or can judge by my statement, Green Lantern is no exception to the list of non-Batman related DC Comics bombs, which is sad, because visually, this film is beautiful, but, a bomb is a bomb no matter how you look at it.

Green Lantern tries to mash together the classic origin of Hal Jordan with a more recent, more confusing retcon that didn't really play over all that well in the comic books, and someone for whatever reason felt it would be a good idea to add to the movie, you know, because stuff tried in a comic book that is almost universally panned, works so well in the movies. The story starts millions of years before the Earth was formed on a planet called Oa, where we meet The Guardians Of The Universe, who are using the essence of willpower, which is for some reason green, to create an intergalactic police force to help them in their peace keeping efforts, this force would be called The Green Lantern Corps. The Lantern Corps split the universe into 3600 sectors, sending one Corps. member to each sector, each member is equiped with a power ring that allows them to do incredible things, and a lantern for which to recharge the ring, they are expected to travel between all the planets in their sector, doing whatever needs to be done for the lantern corps. Its very military that way, assuming you aren't already asleep at this point.

Apparently, not long after this, one of the elder Lanterns, Abin Sur, fought, and then imprisoned a being known as Parallax, a creature made of complete and utter fear, locking him away in the "lost sector" known as Sector 666. If your brain hasn't exploded yet, or if you gone to get popcorn or ice cream or whatever the hell it is they serve at movie theaters where you are and just didn't care about that first part, its ok, it'll be explained again in a second, because surprise! In a twist of story that only M. Night Shyamalan could have figured on, Parallax escapes! And his list of things to do once he breaks out of Lantern prison is as follows 1) Get an Arch Deluxe and some McNuggets at Space McDonalds, 2) Trash a Space McDonalds because even they don't have The Arch Deluxe anymore. 3) Settle for a Baconator at Space Wendy's out of frustration and self hate. 4) Find and destroy Abin Sur for locking him away in the not Phantom Zone. 5) Bang Abin Sur's wife cuz he's been in the not phantom zone for a long time and feels he deserves to be her post death of her husband bang after all those years of him avoiding having to kneel before Zod.

After leaving Abin Sur for dead on a small unimportant mudball called Earth and rushing to the awaiting bedroom of a grief stricken recently widowed Mrs. Abin Sur, Parallax didn't check his work, and though near death, Adin Sur, like megatron at the end of act one of the 1986 Transformers movie, still functions, however instead of being tossed out of Astrotrain to float through space till found and reformatted by a giant robotic Orson Welles, Adin's ring searches the planet for a replacement, knowing that it can not repair the wounds to Abin's body, because like they said in the lost sector, when Parallax shanks you, you stay shanked. Apparently the ring settles on hot shot test pilot and all around one dimensional douchebag Hal Jordan, I'm kind of assuming the ring is broken at this point, or because the ring is the only person that really liked Two Guys A Girl And A Pizza Place, or it secretly hates itself, or all of us. After the ring transports Jordan to where Abin lies dying, where he's explained why he's there, and what his fate is to be, Jordan, possibly being drunk on Red Bull, Prozac and Corona Light, or angry cuz his missed his last GTL, he accepts ownership of the ring and the lantern and told to speak the oath to make it official, later back at his douchepad, Hal, in what is probably the only funny scene in the film, tries many different ideas of what the oath could be, hoping to activate the ring, after the ring gets bored with him being stupid about it, it puts him in a trance and he recites the iconic Oath Of The Green Lantern Corps; In Brightest Day, In Darkest Night, No Evil Can Escape My Might, Beware My Power GReen Lantern's Light! ..... apparently the evil that let this script make it to film escaped your might, so you're 0 and 1 already there Sport Billy. Oh also at this point we discover that a small bit of Parallax's DNA has infected a scientist working for the secret alien investigation branch of the US Government, and is slowly taking him over, you know, because the film needs a villain at this point because Sinestro hasn't made his heel turn yet... oopsie, spoiler there as if any of you care at this point in the film.

After reciting the oath, Hal decides to do what his marvel comics counterpart Iron Man would do on a night ends in a y, which is go to a bar and get drunk, because the best way to celebrate meeting your first dying purple alien is to get kriggity kriggity krunk up in this mug and make it rain for your now dead purple homie. And a night of getting toe up from the floo' up isn't completel with out a fight or some kind as an ender, when Hal goes to punch one of the guys trying to get all up in his grill, the ring forms a giant green hand and knocks out the rapscallion trying to get Hal to fight with him faster then Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's Punch-out. Hal, puzzled, really drunk, and partly believing he's just gotten his Duchess of Queensbery rules on, runs home, where he can sleep off his booze and brag to the internet about his fisticuffs action. At this point, Hal is magic ring'd away to the planet of Oa, the home of the Green Lantern Corps, where he's put through Lantern Bootcamp, and no, I am not leaving out stuff for comedy's sake, it seriously happens this fast in the film. He's put through Lantern Bootcamp and impresses most of the corps members who mostly believe humans are lower primate lifeforms, below the intelligence level or refinement deserving of a lantern. The Lanterns are kind of a mix of the Marines and the Heaven's Gate cult if you haven't figured it out yet, the Guardians even look like little Marshall Applewhite clones, oh and also the green lanterns are dicks. One person Hal doesn't impress with his stupid human tricks is Lantern answer to D.H Hartman, Sinestro, who's so dickish that his nose even looks like one. Sinestro hates humans, I'd assume because his mom is one and he hates them for it, or maybe he's just racist or something, anyway he objects to Hal being a lantern and has a girly hissy fit about it, right there infront of everyone, you know, cuz thats how the leader of a universe wide multi race law enforcement organization should behave., like a whiny bitch. Eventually, that leads to fight between the two, a fight thats so bromantic it would give the late Paul Lynde sexual arousal, complete with a very phallic scene of Ryan Reynolds with a very phallic looking giant machine gun, looking very phallic, for serious, this scene would be on a dvd looping it on Charles Nelson Riley's porn collection.

As you'd guess, this fight leads to a mutual respect between the two, but it also leads to Sinestro deciding that the only way they can defeat the now done banging Abin Sur's widow Parallax, is the create a ring out of the same stuff Parallax is made from, because you know, becoming the all powerful murder being is always the way to beat it. Once its crafted, the guardians prepare for the invasion of Oa, Hal, who Sinestro still doesn't really a'cotton too, is furious to discover they plan on making their stand against Parallax on his eventual return to Oa, with everyone believing Earth should be sacrificed for the good of the rest of the universe in order to stop the dreaded sort of vaguely explained creature thingie. Hal, forgetting that everyone apparently hates humans, is outraged at this and asks for help in defending his home world, and the rest of the lantern corps, ignore him and he storms off to defend earth alone, you know, cuz thats what heroes do. The final battle happens and as I'm sure you can figure out by now, the power of the one ring is greater then the power of an all powerful being of pure fear or whatever the hell he is, and Hal, taking a page from the preachings of Mr. T, tosses Parallax into the sun, because nothing can survive the heat of the sun, though i'm really not sure if Parallax is alive or not, so, yeah. In the end, Hal passes out only to be saved by Sinestro and afew of the other corps members, who bring him back to Oa where everyone now loves him and humans, claiming he's a true lantern now, and giving him control over earth. In the end, they show Sinestro don the yellow ring made of whatever Parallax was, implying his soon to be heel turn which would probably be the plot of a second film, had this film not bombed at the box office.

So its not really a question of if the movie is worth seeing or not, its a question of, just how much mashed together half baked half understood ideas can you take at one time on film? If you're like me, and is aware of the source material, and among the masses who were outraged at the entire retcon of the entire Parallax thing, see in the comics, Hal's hometown of Coast City is decimated by some massive event and the Guardians forbid Hal from using his ring's power to save the city, not even the family and friends he had there, saying they died nobly and with honor, there is no reason to bring them back to life, Hal becomes enraged, breaks into the vault where the unused power rings are kept and steals all but one which had fallen out of his hands in the raid, becomes insane with power and becomes Parallax, leading to a new Green Lantern, one people actually liked, in preparation for this film, the whole story of Parallax was retcon'd to something very vague and very confusing and alot like what he is in the film, and Hal is "freed" of his essence, which allows him to be the Green Lantern again, which REALLY pissed the fanbase off, it really doesn't surprise me that the whole involvement of Parallax was kept secret till the last minute given the uproar it has caused among the fans, and is infact the reason this film didn't match numbers with giant comic to movie adaptions like Iron Man and X-Men First Class, which is what DC was hoping to do with this film, lay the groundwork to have a shared movieverse like what Marvel's doing, and sadly, much like with Superman Returns, which really was just 2 hours of Superman doing general dickery and being a deadbeat dad, it just failed in the most horrible way. Even taking the comic book knowledge out of the situation, and my sarcastic write up aside, the film just isn't that good, its rushed, its confused, it feels like there are giant chunks missing that should give us abit more of a clue as to whats going on at any given time, and also, the CGI looks wrong, it looks like someone took the engine used to make Avatar, and then cell shaded it to give it "depth", and then ofcourse ran it through a 3D filter, which really made things worse, there was less need for 3D in this film then there was in Yogi Bear, and if you've suffered through that 90 car crack up of a bad film, you'll know that it didn't need 3D at all, you know, like most films these days. So if you're just a die hard comic book adaptation fan, or you just have two hours and a free movie pass you wanna kill, or because deep down you hate yourself, then go see Green Lantern, but if you're one of those people that actually enjoys their time at the movies, and doesn't like to have them wasted by just horrible horrible stuff, go see something else. But thats my two cents...

If you're still interested, here is the trailer....

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BC

Super 8

2011-07-03T05:24:00.000-04:00

Super 8:

Clovefield 1970s Style...

Or Close Encounters Of The J.J Abrams Kind..

Like most people, I've become a big fan of J.J Abrams during his recent television and movie exposure (overexposure?) from Fringe to Star Trek to Cloverfield to everyone but me apparently loving Lost, J.J Abrams has been producing, writing, directing just amazingly big hit over big hit, its almost unheard of outside of afew now legendary directors, taking this all into account, when I read the early reports of what his next project would be, the supernatural thriller Super 8, I felt I was rather worried that maybe he'd hit his speedbump in the road. But as is almost always customary with things of this nature, I was happily surprised and delighted to discover that I was wrong, and infact Abrams' has once again, turned out an amazingly wonderful film, that as always is the case with him, invokes fond memories of watching the masters of film as they produced their crafts.

The film takes place in 1979 in the fictional town of Lillian Ohio, where we meet a then 13 year old boy named Joe Lamb, he's just lost his mother in a factory accident, and his father police officer Jackson Lamb, believing that another local, Louis Dainard to be at fault because she was covering his shift because he was drunk, is the blame and takes him into custody after Joe's mother's wake. Fast forward afew months where we once again see Joe Lamb, but we now meet his friends Charles Kaznyk, Preston, Martin, Cary, and Alice Dainard, Charles is an aspiring film maker who's hired Alice to star in his low budget film that he's filming in town with the help of his friends, and using his Super 8 home movie camera. Alice steals her father's car to drive them to the location they're filming their next scene at an old train depot near the edge of town, while setting up for their shot that needs a train to be going by in the back ground, they witness a truck driving onto the tracks heading straight for a high speed transport train, this causes a massive derailment, there is a fantastic wreckage, the kids survive luckily, and as they investigate the debris they discover the truck that caused the wreck, it was driven by a teacher of theirs who warns them about not talking about what they've seen there, they don't truly understand what that means at this point. They get out of the area as the Air Force shows up to take care of the scene.

Over the next few days strange things start to happen all over town, pets start to act strange and run away, everything from kitchen appliances to car engines to power lines go missing, and Alice goes missing, her father claims that she was taken away by a "Creature", people are confused and paranoid and starting to wonder just what the hell is going on, and when the air force claims they need to evacuate the town because a major fire is coming their way, most people start to flee, while very few stay behind and ask questions, though no one is aware that the air force started the fire to drive them all out of town so they can properly search the area, they've all been transported to a near by air force base until farther notice. During their time there Joe finds Alice's father, who tells him of Alice being taken away by a monster, Joe, unlike most, believes him, and after telling his friends of what he was just told, they all decide to go back into town and try to find her. From here the film becomes a strange mix of Cloverfield, Close Encounters of The Third Kind, E.T and (if you remember your tv adaptions well enough) Stephen King's It, as the kids move about their small town trying to not be seen by the Air Force, and trying to not only spot the creature they believe is loose in their town, but uncover proof of its existence. Its part monster movie, part sci fi thriller, with just enough drama tossed in to make it a nice mix.

I know alot of you are gonna cringe at the compare to Cloverfield, when mentioning that film I'm well aware of how I am among the minority who actually understood and rather liked that film, and thats fine, and though some scenes are shot through the Super 8 camera, its important to note that 90% of the film is not, its only used for dramatic effect, and nothing more, the plot is also very similar, rampaging monster let loose by accident from its secret holding facility, but instead of in a giant city, its in the middle of smalltown america in 1979, it might to some seem like the same old same, but its really not, not by a long shot. You find yourself wondering just what is going on, is there a creature rampaging because its all that it knows? Is it fighting for its freedom over land, sea and air, and only acting violently as a means of defense against those who mistreated it? Its a wonderful puzzle that takes its time to unravel and come to its natural answers. It also shares a ponderance with one of the greatest modern sci fi films of the last 10 years, District 9, by making you ask yourself logically, if aliens really did land here on earth, what exactly would we do? Would we be nice and friendly, would they be friendly in return, or would we, as the human beings that we are, screw the whole thing up to the point we would ruin the entire experience over something petty, selfish and small minded. I do love when a film makes you wonder about that.

So the big question now, is Super 8 worth seeing? Well ofcourse it is! The summer is the time when the biggest and the best are trotted out to the masses and we're expected to shovel wave after wave after wave of our cash into the pockets of those who make these films, and though 90% of them really aren't worth the time or effort it takes to sit through them, Super 8, thankfully, is in the minority, where its almost actually worth more then the ticket price to see it. The kids play off each other so well and it seems so organic, and you truly believe that they are just random kids in a small town in southern Ohio, they also went out of their way to amke it feel like it really is 1979, I always find myself looking in the background for hints they missed something thats not from that time, and I found none, I do so love when that happens, it makes the movie that much more enjoyable. So if you aren't into comic book movies, or pointless sequels that are the exact same movie set in a different location, or you aren't up for a movie about a young wizard, his geeky friend and the plucky young girl who assists them fighting magic hitler, or any of the other big films dropping this summer, and you want a nice well done bit of Sci fi that transcends science fiction as a genre and just becomes something amazing and wonderful all on its own, then definitely give Super 8 a shot.

But if you aren't convinced yet, here is the trailer to the film....

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BC

X-Men: First Class

2011-07-01T17:47:00.000-04:00

X-Men: First Class:

So Whats An X-Men Movie Like With Out

Wolverine Sucking It Up? Pretty Damn Good

As most of you know, I've been a comic book fan for almost as long as I've been alive, and though unlike the majority of comic book fans out there, I understand and allow for differences when they translate a comic book into a movie or a television series, even if I was, as some said, over critical to the point it was almost seen as critical assassination, of Fox's other four X-Men movies, with my references to X-Men 3 and Wolverine being the most harsh. With that said, and the bad taste still in my mouth from those last two films, I was both excited and leery about the announcement of X-Men First Class, though reboots are all the rage in Hollywood for those not interested in 3D, they aren't always the way to go. But in this case, like with Star Trek back in 2009, I was gladly proven wrong.

X-Men First Class takes us back to the very beginning of the X-Men, a time normally only implied or hinted at in the previous films. It starts out with a lovely homage to the opening sequence to the 2000 X-Men film, the scene most feel was the best filmed sequence in the entire original film trilogy. Its 1944, and we're with in the confines of the hellish Auschwitz concentration camp, where young German born Jew Erik Lehnsherr is forcefully separated from his parents, his fear and anger trigger the manifestation of Erik's mutant power, the power of magnetism. Next we see young Erik in a room with a doctor by the name of Dr. Schmidt, he explains to Erik that he's a mutant and that he wishes to help him learn to use his new found powers, though his methods of teaching aren't exactly what one would call caring and nurturing. From here we shift across the world to 1944 New York state, to an upscale house in Westchester County, a lavishly rich suburb of New York City, where we meet a young Charles Xavier, who is already well aware of his powers of mental control and telepathy, where while investigating a sound he hears in his kitchen, discovers a young homeless shapeshifter Raven Darkholme, in the guise of his mother, attempting to steal food from the house. Charles states that he knows she is hiding her true form, causing Raven to change from the guise of Charles mother, into her natural blue skin and blue haired state. Overjoyed to discover that he's "not the only one" Charles extends his hand to Raven, claiming that she shall never have to steal food ever again, stating he will convince his parents to let her stay.

The film jumps forward from here to 1962, Charles and Raven are at Oxford University, where Charles is just about to finish and become a professor of genetics specializing in human mutations, a fact he uses to attempt and pick up girls, much to the annoyance and boredom of Raven who seems to just be along with Charles for the ride, staying in the guise of a beautiful blond girl in her 20s, around the same age as Charles, though she hints early on that she takes Charles "be mutant and proud" rhetoric more serious then him, questioning why she can't just be her normal blue skinned self, she also implies that though she is grateful to Charles and his family for raising her, she wishes that Charles would see her as more then just a sister. From there we jump to an adult Erik now hunting down those nazis who tried to make a weapon out of him as a child, he starts out in a french bank where he forces the location of several known nazis in hiding claiming he was going to kill them, and then come back and kill the one he got the info from after painfully extracting it from his unwilling informant.

From there we jump to Las Vegas in 1962, the height of the first golden age of The Vegas Strip, we meet young CIA operative Moira McTaggert who is trailing a high ranking general who she believes will put her in the trail of a man named Sebastian Shaw, the leader of an organization called The Hellfire Club, an organization operating under the facade of an exclusive high end gentleman's club. Moira infiltrates the club, where we discover that Sebastian Shaw is infact Dr. Schmidt, Erik's biggest target, but with out the German accent, and that Shaw not only is a mutant himself, but has many in his employ. From here the film starts to move everyone into place, Moira recruits Charles and Raven into the CIA to help in her tailing of Shaw, they encounter Erik as he crosses path with Shaw, trying to rise his private submarine, Charles saves Erik's life, and explains that he's not alone in the world as Erik thought he was, and that he will never be alone again, the same promise he made Raven all those years ago. From there, under the guidance of Moira and a guy simply called the Man In Black, a CIA agent who's incharge of a special facility he's been using to study and prove the existence of mutants, with out knowing he had one under his nose the whole time, a young brilliant man named Hank McCoy, who with the help of Charles creates a machine to detect the locations of mutants just like them, and together, Hank, Erik, Raven and Charles form a team of mutants, a sort of mutant special ops team to go against Shaw and his team of mutants, all leading up to the inevitable battle between the two sides, as a film like this is expected too do. For reference the teams are set up as follows; Xavier's team: Charles Xavier (Professor X), Raven Darkholme (Mystique), Erik Lensherr (Magneto), Hank McCoy (Beast), Alex Summers (Havok), Sean Cassidy (Banshee), Angel Salvadore (Angel), Armando Muñoz (Darwin) with Moira McTaggert as their CIA handler. Shaw's Hellfire Club consists of: Sebastian Shaw (The Black King), Emma Frost (The White Queen), Azazel and Janos Quested (Riptide), though none of them are ever referred to as their code names like the soon to be X-Men.

First Class does a great job making you understand that these characters, some of which we've known for almost 50 years now, are not the well established in complete control of their powers and knowing who they are. It does a great job showing them grow from young confused people who think they're all the only one in the world like them, a fundamental part of all the early mutants in the marvel universe before mutants became publicly known, some might call it forced but its not, logically this would be the case in a pre-internet world, this would be the case, specially in the pre-revolutionary group period of the mid to late 1960s where repression of knowledge and ignoring the facts were common place. It would make sense that none of them would really know what they were because at that time there is no school for them to go too where they can learn what they are and how to deal with their powers at this point. And the film does a great job of explaining how the Xavier Academy is formed, and how each character starts to move in the direction of who they are ment to be, Hank McCoy ends up in his more commonly known blue fur via an accident in the lab, just like in the comics, though they explain the blue shade of it by means of it being a test with Raven's blood cells, sense she is blue in her natural state. It also does a great job showing the transformation from Erik to Magneto, which really is what we all want to see, seeing as the whole point of the film is to see how him and Xavier become the opposite sides of the same coin.

And though there is all of this wonderful and amazing story and imagery, as well as two great uncredited cameos, one by Hugh Jackman as Wolverine who is approached by Charles and Erik to join their team and they are promptly told to "fuck off", and the other being Rebecca Romijn as one of the forms Raven takes on, there are some flaws in the film. Mostly that it focuses so much on the soon to be first class of X-Men, but it gives almost no time at all to any of the villains other then Shaw and afew scenes with Emma Frost, there is almost no lines at all spoken by Azazel and there are infact no lines at all spoken by Janos, infact no one even refers to Janos at all in the film, he's just there, with his bad hair and he's apparently evil, and there really is nothing we learn of Azazel other then that he's red, demonic looking and can teleport around with the familar BAMF sound made famous in the comics by Nightcrawler, who in the comics is the son of Azazel and Raven. Unlike others though, I don't mind that The Hellfire Club doesn't have its normal structure system; Shaw is the Black King, Emma is the White Queen ect. because it wasn't really needed for this film, it wouldn't have any point in the story, and to be honest, neither are really strong enough built up characters to make any sense of the idea in the first place, all we know of Shaw is that he's old and has a vaguely defined power of energy absorption, and all we know of Emma is that she's a telepath who can also turn into a diamond form that she can use for defense, there is no explaining why she has this secondary mutation, its just implied to be like Beast's turn into his more well known blue animalistic form, but no idea how hers was triggered. There are other things that were slighty annoying and unexplained, but to go into them it would be a spoiler for anyone thats not seen the film, and I just don't wanna do that.

So the big question, is X-Men: First Class worth going to see? Ofcourse it is, I'd actually venture to say its worth about 95% of ticket cost. Sure there are some things that aren't exactly all that great about it, but you get tht with all films, what amazed me the most about the film was its three key characters; James McAvoy as Charles Xavier was brilliant, he gives you enough of the character to understand that under all of his equality preaching, Xavier is a vain prick who thinks using his power to glorify himself over others is ok cuz its "for the cause". Michael Fassbender who I only remember from Inglorious Bastards honestly, plays an incredible Magneto, you can see in his face just how much pain he's been through, even when you see him happy, you can see the pain he's repressing, they don't just drop his change at the very end on you as a shocker, its a local and expected given all of his trauma, reaction. The biggest surprise though is just how well Jennifer Lawrence, whom I've only seen before this in Winter's Bone and The Beaver, was as Raven Darkholme, Mystique has always been abit of a strange character, she really only raised to prominence sense the 1990s when it was revealed she was the mother of two of the X-Men and in the last as been linked to afew major characters, and other then a short stint as a hero she really wasn't all that big of a character until the original trilogy made her one, the fact she not only was believable, but made you actually care about a character most seemed to deem as one dimensional, is really just amazing. I will also say, if you are expecting January Jones as Emma Frost to be interesting, you'll be out of luck, other then showing off a fair amount of skin, though not in her mordern outfit or her original cape over a corset and knee boots look, there really isn't anything to Emma Frost in this film, i kind of expected that honestly, Emma's more a nitche and fanservice character who plays well in the comics, she was really only done write in a 2008 animated series which featured her. But all of the downs and ups aside, if you are up for a good fun time where you get to see some action and some great visual effects, as well as an Sr-71 Blackbird 7 years before it was created in the real world, definitly give First Class a look.

here is the trailer for those who aren't convinced yet...

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BC

Suburban Shootout

2011-05-31T19:49:00.000-04:00

Suburban Shootout:

Its Like If The Godfather And Desperate Housewives

Had A Child, And That Child Took Alot Of Acid

Its always been assumed that every country in the world brings something different to comedy, its own distinct style and way of doing things; Americans have lowbrow cheap comedy down to a science, in Australia deadpan and sarcastic barbs are a way of life, Canada has a way of finding the outright hilarious in every day life, Japan and most of the Asian countries have wacky and absurd everywhere you go, The Latin countries have guys in bumblebee suits getting pies tossed in their faces while secretly pining for the love of men named Stu who can't let Disco go, and ofcourse the United Kingdom has the thinking man's comedy, the comedy thats played off as serious and the quick and dry wit thats as sharp as a sword made of 440 Ginsu steel. And its in the grand tradition of The United Kingdom's ability to make a comedy out of just about anything at all, no matter how insane of an idea, and make it seem like the greatest idea of all time, I give you a somewhat forgotten gem of british comedy, the hilariously dark Suburban Shootout.

On the surface, and by surface I mean the beginning of the first episode, Suburban Shootout seems like the story of a middle aged couple; Joyce and Jeremy Hazeldine, and later in season one, their son Ben who returns from mission work in Africa, who move from the busy fast paced insanity of downtown London to a small out of the way hamlet called Little Stempington where they settle into their new roles, Joyce as a housewife and Jeremy as the head of the local police force. But life in this small out of the way town where there seems to be no crime, no youthful unrest, nothing happens in Little Stempington, there is never so much as a speeding car in this little town, infact Jeremy is told by his secondary officer, that no one's had to use the police siren in over two years, and the closest thing to a police matter they've had to deal with was the accident that killed Jeremy's predecessor, and that was quickly discovered to be mechanical failure. But as you can guess, nothing is ever what it seems in small out of the way towns where nothing happens, however its not Jeremy that discovers this, his wife Joyce, who is, by no fault of her own, forced into discovering the secret of what keeps Little Stempington running so smoothly, the answer? As anyone would have guessed by now, two rival gangs of housewives, who are, for lack of a better explanation, in the middle of a very violent turf war. Yes, you read that correctly.

Joyce unintentionally gets tossed right in the middle of this war, by means of members of both groups visiting and attempting to befriend her, and is reluctantly forced into the middle of this, for lack of a better term, gang war, by a woman named Camilla Diamond, who tricks Joyce into getting her fingerprints on a detonator used to blow up a local wicker store, and thus using this to blackmail Joyce into working for her. As the show goes on we meet Barbra Du Prez and learn the story of how things came to be as they are in Little Stempington, how it all started afew years prior with Camilla Diamond and Barbra, and how they were the best of friends, and one day happened across burglar in Camilla's home, and instead of running scared or calling the police, they bravely took the man on together, accidentally killing him in the process, and how as they bury the body far outside of town, they make a vow to never allow the criminal element to grow and fester with in their little town ever again. Barbra also tells of how things game to be as they are now, after recruiting their friends into their small organization, eventually a rift formed among the group and Camilla and two others; Hilary Davenport and Gillian Gordon-Moore, split off and became the very criminal element that they had originally fought to keep out of their small town, the other group consisting of Barbra as well as two others; Pam Draper and Margret Littlefair, who still believe in the ideals Camilla and Barbra swore too uphold, while still battling the now seemingly massive criminal element controlled by Camilla.

As the series goes, you learn just how deep this whole gang war goes, and just how many people are involved, and it makes you start to wonder just how many small towns something like this could happen in, or if there are any that its happening in right now. Its abit of a mindfuck in that respect, but as far as mindfucks go, this one's actually pretty damn fun. As it goes on, you see that Barbra and her group, though admittedly claiming to be the good guys, are just as insane as Camilla and her group, at one point Barbra is seen planting land mines where a planned low income housing estate was set to be built, claiming "low income housing is how it starts..", implying that poor people who live in estates are some how the criminal element, and later on going about trying to rid the town of teenagers wearing hoodies because they're a symbol of criminal activity, things like that, the whole time you're left wondering if there really is a good and bad side to this whole thing, or if one side just just slightly less evil then the other, but like any good gangster film, thats what you're supposed to think.

The plot and characters are pretty well flushed out and believable able overall, and though you don't really get much of a look into the lives of anyone other then Camilla, Barbra and Joyce, you don't really find yourself lacking though, they use the concept of just enough to make you laugh, but not enough to over stay their welcome, which is what an extended cast should be, and its main cast work so well together and toss such incredibly sharp barbs at each other constantly that its hilarious, you could almost have a drinking game with the insults, which ofcourse to most is the meat of the show. So if you're interested in an offbeat, dark comedy thats probably the most brilliant all be it obscure series in recent years, then give it a try. Shame though I couldn't find the pilot for the HBO created american remake, but then, that might actually take away some of the magic you know? So give this a shot if you really are up for something completely out there and different, and alot more funny then you'd ever expect.

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BC

Thor

2011-05-08T19:45:00.000-04:00

Thor:

No Matter How Hard You Try You Will Never

Pronounce "Mjolnir" Correctly.

I've always had a sort of love/hate thing with the marvel comics version of Thor, sure he's the best version of the character, and sure he's got that awesome old worldly way of talking, and he's got the magical uru hammer Mjolnir, and thats all fine and good, but you can't really do all that much with the character, he's a god or Norse mythology and he controls thunder, other then him being the powerhouse of The Avengers, there really isn't alot you can do with him, his only real villains are other gods or cosmically powered beings, simply because you can't really have an ordinary human beating a god, they wouldn't really be a god if that were the case. So you're basically stuck. Oh sure you can use Thor in other settings as a main or secondary character, but if you're going to tell a Thor story, you really have no real choice but to have him fight another god or a god powered creature. Its kind of like how with Iron Man, in the sense that you have to always write him to be a drunken douchebag because the only villains of his they seem not hold overs from the somewhat racist villains of the 1960s or a giant mystical dragon, aren't really good enough to stand on their own as the main threat of a film.

With all of that said, Thor does a rather good job of not only bringing you into the world of Thor, sure its all high end overly theatrical gods talking in norsespeak to other gods, but this is a Kenneth Branagh film, you expect the highest end of the overly theatrical end of the acting spectrum, the lavish costumes, the sets that look like we've traveled back in time, the attention to every detail no matter how small, just to make us feel we're really looking at a window into this world, but you know, not in that whole Fringe way cuz there are no Zeppelins.

Thor plays out like a norse mythological tale, the film starts with a battle between the gods of Asgard and their eternal enemies the Frost Giants, this is where you meet Odin The AllFather, as he and his Asgardians battle gloriously, and eventually triumph, bringing home to Asgard the spoils of righteous victory, you then fast forward to today, Odin has become the ruler of Asgard and his oldest son Thor, the god of thunder is ready to take the thrown, when an unexpected attack by The Frost Giants sends Asgard into an uproar, Thor, his young and jealous brother Loki, and their childhood friends Sif and The Warriors Three decide to confront the leader of The Frost Giants for the attack, against the orders of Odin The AllFather, this leads to a furious battle that Odin must step in personally and end for the better of all involved. In retaliation for going against his orders, Odin blames Thor and decides to humble the Thunder God by stripping him of his powers and banishing him to midgard, or "Earth" to us from here, he, long with his uru hammer Mjolnir, fall to earth, but Mjolnir has a spell on it now, meaning only those worthy of its power may pick it up and control its powers, The film from there follows the story of Thor learning humility and becoming worthy of the power he so easily tossed about before, the whole time thwarting his evil and jealous brother Loki's attempts to kill him so he can take the thrown of Asgard.

The film is pretty good over all, it was a smart choice to include The Destroyer, and they make Asgard really look like its a real place, and they those who live there truly look and act as you'd expect a pantheon of gods who live for battle to act, my only real issue with the film is they toned down the way the Asgardians speak, they did include it, but they felt it best to "tone it down for those that aren't use to Thor's speak", and though I understand why thats done, it still makes me a tad on the sad side, I never like when something key to a character's personally gets shucked to the wayside for the sake of bringing in a "broader audience" then just the fans of the character or general comic book fans, you shouldn't have to compromise just for the sake of sales, thats not really respectful to the source material. But overall the good outweighs the bad on this film and makes it does its job of forwarding the whole shared Marvel Comics Movie Universe toward both the Captain America and The Avengers upcoming films, as happens with every marvel film these days, which is always good, but still makes me sad how many characters are still in the hands of Sony and Fox, but as all, I hold out hope.

So the big question, is this film worth watching? I'd say if you're a fan of comic books, then ofcourse its worth going to see, as well as if you're a fan of majestic period like pieces, for the pageantry of them, then sure you'd love that as well. But if you're just looking for an action film with just stuff exploding and dudes punching other dudes and and swinging hammers, then you might be abit let down. As I said at the start of this, Thor is always a pretty idea, but is never really easy to write, and though they success in making the film enjoyable and worth watching, you can tell there were stumbling block moments where you could tell they were struggling really hard to make stuff work. But again, I stress, overall, it was an a great film and I did enjoy it, would would like to see it again. So take that as you will.

Here is the trailer...

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BC

Good Bye Sarah Jane Smith

2011-04-19T19:32:00.000-04:00

Saying Good Bye To A Sci Fi Legend:

Elisabeth Slader Of Doctor Who Fame

Passes Away Of Cancer at Age 63.

I've never hidden the fact that I grew up a fan of the british sci fi series Doctor Who, i've always been rather vocal about my fanship, my likes, my dislikes, all of that fun stuff. I can remember sitting on the floor of the living room on both Saturday and Sunday afternoons watching the reruns of the classic series on both PBS stations in the area, Boston's fabled WGBH channel 2 and New Hampshire's WENH (More commonly called NHPTV), both aired two episodes per day on the weekends, back to back, at different times, and always different ones, so I got a rather good amount of Who in my life growing up, which really isn't all that surprising, given how many people I know that claim my personality is an almost exact copy of The Doctor himself.

Anyway I'm writing about this because of some rather sad news that came down the news line today, the passing of Elisabeth Sladen, known to the world better as Sarah Jane Smith, one of the most beloved characters in the series, and the one to appear the most next to fan favorite Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart (Nicholas Courtney), who, sadly, also passed away not long ago as well. Sarah Jane also was the first character to break off and expand the Who Universe, being the star of the failed spin off K-9 and Company, where she and K-9 would have went around their small town in the countryside of England solving mysteries, possibly with a van. She was also one of the few members of the cast of the original show to make it into the relaunched series in 2005, appearing in a handful of episodes as well as her own spin off series The Sarah Jane Adventures, which this time around lasted four years before Elisabeth's death effectively canceled the program, how this will addressed, if at all, no one really is sure.

Though to say she'll be missed is an understatement as many who fans will tell you, most of us had our first exposure to Doctor Who during the three and a half years of Elisabeth's first run on the show, working with the two that most old fans argue over being the best to play the role of The Doctor, first working with John Pertwee and his successor, Tom Baker, the man most credit with taking Doctor Who from being a british sci fi series into the international cult series that its become, most people will tell you their first memories of Who involved Sarah Jane and K-9 to some degree, fortifying herself into Nerd Lore forever, where she shall forever stay. Because thats the joy of nerd lore, you're never forgotten.

So like many, I will be mourning the loss of one of the best loved sci fi characters of all time... Rest in peace Elisabeth, you've long sense earned it.

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BC

The New Zoo Revue

2011-04-10T14:15:00.000-04:00

Trips In The Wayback Machine # 3:

The New Zoo Revue:

Foam Rubber Puppets That Are

Apparently Coming Right At You

In the annals of both wholesome, innocent and well meaning children's programing, as well as the pantheon of classic campy cult tv series, there are many, many programs originally ment for children, that either do to their time period of creation, or possibly their horribly low budget camp production and writing, sure they served a purpose and as we remember them as children we do remember the lessons they taught us, but unlike our last trip in the wayback machine to visit Romper Room, our next stop on this trip down memory lane sadly does not retain its wonderful innocence or elegance, and though many can assume that this classic series was really nothing more then a wholesome attempt at the foam rubber creature kiddy shows dominated by the creations of brothers Sid and Marty Krofft. But for all that its trying to do, educate as much as possible while entertaining, The New Zoo Revue, goes from wonderful children's programing, to camp awesomeness, its kind of like Davey And Goliath in that respect, it tries so hard to be one thing, but shoehorning as much of its attempts it can into its timeframe, it just becomes awesomely hilarious looking back at it. Oh and also, don't worry, I'll be taking a trip in the wayback machine to visit Davey And Goliath later, but for now, lets focus on The New Zoo Revue.

Spanning 197 episodes from 1972 to 1977, The New Zoo Revue was the brainchild of its two human stars, Doug Momary and his then newly married bride Emily Peden, Doug ofcourse played well meaning but creepy looking "Doug" on the show while Emily played Emmy Jo, Doug's tight miniskirt and go-go boots wearing "helper" who, though a very talented singer, dancer, and artist, brought an entire generation of boys (and I'd assume alot of girls too) into puberty simply by being there. The show's concept was pretty simple, it was ment to go against such iconic children's programs as Romper Room, Captain Kangaroo, Sesame Street and their kind, as well as to take a share of the foam rubber puppets with singing and dancing and a stage show genre that was making Sid and Marty Krofft millions faster then they could create failed indoor amusement parks that would later become the CNN Building. The show, from its creation all the way till the last season when the ratings slumped and they were unfairly canceled, was a huge success for the time period, it was popular with children and adults as well in a cult capacity, spawning coloring books, plush toys, lunchboxes, sing along records and read along storybooks, as well as boardgames and just about anything else there would be before Star Wars revived the action figure genre. And it did all of this regardless of the fact Doug looks like a cross between a book store owning pedophile and that guy Stanley Tucci played in The Lovely Bones.

Each episode followed the same basic format, one of the three main characters; Henrietta Hippo, Freddy Frog or Charlie Owl, would some how end up either confusing something or imagining something or just start being a jerk to everyone for no real reason, then Doug, or Emmy Jo depending on how high the skirt she work to work that way was, would show up out of nowhere, be all confused as to whats going on, then they'd sing about it, and then the animal would go back acting the exact same way as before the song, which would lead to another song, and by the end of that song they'd get the point, and then they'd all sing a happy song and they'd all eat some pie or cake or something the hippo made, which is kind of ironic because of the three of them, Henrietta Hippo was the biggest jerk, I mean the puppets were all at various times jerks to each other, but Henrietta more then the other two, which is hard because Charlie had his moments. Alot of you might think I'm being funny or mean here, but I'm serious, if you can get through any of the youtube clips of this show, have a look, at any given time all three of the puppets are being jerks to each other. Henrietta is angry and bossy and delusional, Charlie is a know it all who thinks he's the greatest smartest bird ever, and Freddy I honestly think either has a learning disability or might just be a special needs person, most episodes really do revolve around Doug or Emmy Jo's go-go boots and miniskirts solving something that any two or all three of the puppets are fighting about, I'm seriously not making this up.

Its hard to be critical of this how though, I understand that though its easy to poke my fun sarcastic jabs at it from my adulthood, the fact remains that though it was badly written, and cheaply made, and the puppets were downright nightmare fuel, it still stands the test of time as one of the best children's shows ever made, sure it didn't really become more then just a hazy vague nightmare of a foam rubber hippo trying to kill most people until the late 1990s when the US government mandated the whole E/I educational children's programing laws for every television station in the country, which lead to the revival of reruns of old television shows like this, and maybe its not as well remembered as Captain Kangaroo, Bozo The Clown, Romper Room, or any of its compatriots of a bygone era of children's programing when it was about the show, and very little merch would released, instead of today where a show doesn't make it to air unless they've already whored it out to 40 manufacturers for everything from dolls to cameras to iphones or whatever, and then they worry about the caliber of the program, but stuff of that really in the end doesn't matter, because as silly as alot of this stuff is looking back, it still makes us smile, it still makes us happy, and it still makes us all wish for a bygone time when the children of the world were educated by those that actually cared, and wore miniskirts and go-go boots.

So if you've never actually seen The New Zoo Revue, have a look around youtube, or the internet in general, you'll find some pretty amazing stuff, sure its gonna be all trippy by today's standards and you'll find the most famous outtake in children's television history, as well as one of the many apperances of postman Mr. Dingle, who was played by a young Chuck Woolery, as well as other various famous people who show up. Oh and if you can find where its disappeared too, there used to be a clip on there of creepy Doug singing about sexual reproduction to the puppets. So yeah, enjoy the hell out of that one....

Here is a great little example of the show, and its got the ending theme, which btw, is the same theme as the opening of the show, so enjoy..

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BC

David And Lisa

2011-03-25T16:50:00.000-04:00

David And Lisa:

Not Your Typical Love Story

For Not Your Typical People

When I talk about Grindhouse here, I tend to talk mostly about the over the top so goofy thats awesome kind of stuff, or the shock you till you have nightmares kind of stuff, or the wholesale selling of just enough sex to make it non-pornographic type of films as well, but what most people who remember those aspects of Grindhouse tend to forget is that the genre also served for the home of the early independent cinema, the art house movies that weren't just about naked people eating watermelon and then smoking a cigarette through a cigarette holder while reciting beatnik poetry then having sex with each other, nor was it just about homosexual cowboys eating pudding together while reciting lines Sam and Frodo say to each other in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy than having sex with each other, though there was, and still is a large amount of films like those in the Art House field, there is also more subdued, down to earth, and down right brave films in the genre as well. Independent films like 1962's David and Lisa, a story of true love, teenage angst, and mental illness.

David and Lisa is one of those films that I often find has either passed under the radar of, or been completely forgot save for afew small film buff conclaves that like to dig up the forgotten and lost stuff. Its the kind of film that sort of defines the bravery and early attempts at understanding mental illness, but also shows that those who are suffering from it, are just like you and me, life is just vastly different in how they see the world and how they go about their day to day lives, the plot is rather touching and sweet in its own way. Its sort of like One Flew Over The Cookoo's Nest if cookoo's nest was a love story, and didn't have Cheif killing the main character with a pillow at the end of the film to end his suffering from being forced to conform to how everyone else wants you to be.

The film starts with us meeting David Clemens, who's just been left in the hands of a state run home for mentally ill, we learn that David's mother is overbearing and overprotective and kind of a bitch, and as she leaves David at the school, we discover that David suffers from Aphenphosmphobia, which means he hates and has a fear of being touched by others, the slightest touch at all will send him into a rage of sorts, it isn't that he finds other people disguising or anything, he just believes their touch will kill him, when he isn't having a fit, he's calm, very cold and isolates himself from others, we also discover that he's got some weird fascination with time and clocks, at one point in the film he mentions a dream he has where he murders everyone around him with a giant clock.

As David interacts as best as he can with the others at the home, he meets a pretty girl named Lisa Brandt, Lisa has a split personality disorder, meaning she's literally two people, one of her personalities is Lisa, who can only speak in rhyme, her other personality is Muriel, who can not speak at all, but can write what she needs to say down on paper. David befriends her by talking in rhyme with Lisa, and talking with Muriel as if there is nothing wrong with her only writing down statements. Their relationship puzzles everyone at the home, most of all their doctor Dr. Swinford, who finds them both to be two of the more high level cases of mental illness at the home.

At one point, David and his mother have a rather large argument about his relationship with Lisa, even though she doesn't see the signs that a boy who believes the touch of everyone will kill him, wants to be close to a girl, and the progress that is. David's mother takes him away from the facility and forces him to be at home with her, believing it a better place for him. David eventually leaves and returns to the facility despite his fear of being touched by others, where Dr. Swinford convinces David's mother that its best for him to stay at the facility, she reluctantly agrees and leaves David there. Not long after, David and Lisa have a small argument, that leaves Lisa so mad that she leaves the facility, and none of the staff are able to find her. David again braves off on his own despite his fears of touch, and finds Lisa at a museum where she once spoke of a statue she spoke of before. Oddly, when David finds her, Lisa no longer needs to speak in rhymes, she speaks as a regular person to David, who then reaches out and holds her hand, which she holds the whole way back to the facility.

The film might seem simplistic, or abit easy to figure out, but it speaks volumes in the sense that it really is just a quiet little love story, set in the oddest of places, and about the oddest of people. It should also not be confused with the 1990s sort of remake starring a young and not dead Britney Murphey, though the two leads do share her uniquely gifted for their young age claim that Britney also had in her early career. Keir Dullea stars as David Clemens, most would know Keir as Commander David Bowman in Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, a film that my friend Deb still doesn't understand no matter how often I explain it to her, he also is known for playing Peter Smythe in the original 1974 version of the film Black Christmas, and most recently played a senator in a small but important part in the film The Good Shepard. Keir plays David so well you truly believe at times he's terrorized by the idea of another person's touch, and as he grows closer to Lisa, you feel his disorder slowly fading, as he forces it down inside to brave public interaction to get to the facility, and again to find Lisa, so well done. Janet Margolin plays Lisa Brandt, Janet went on to mostly do stage acting after the film, but did have afew small roles in films like "The Greatest Story Ever Told", "Nevada Smith" with Steve McQueen, in both "Take The Money And Run" and "Annie Hall" with Woody Allen, and a small role in "Ghostbusters II", but again she is mostly known for her stage roles, which she happily did until her death from ovarian cancer in the early 1990s, she always spoke highly of her role as Lisa, saying that it was the most fun she had infront of the camera, given how she was allowed to be as different and unique as possible.

So if you haven't had a chance to see this film, or if you just love to watch obscure but brilliant mostly unseen films, then give David and Lisa a look, you really won't regret it, but if you need more convincing, here is one of the more important scenes, it might seem silly by today's standards, but remember, in 1962, this was brave new world kind of stuff.....

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BC

A Sad Good Bye To One Of The Greatest Ever: Liz Taylor

2011-03-24T19:33:00.000-04:00

The Final Curtain Call Of A Siren:

Saying Good Bye to Elizabeth Taylor

Yesterday, the world of stage and screen lost one of the last artifacts of old world Hollywood, one of the icons that defined what a starlet is, while Veronica Lake, Jane Mansfield, Diana Dors, Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe and their like were out there defining what a bombshell was, you had the more wholesome less in your face but still as beautiful types proving that women in hollywood could get work with out flaunting their bodies, holding up this front you had the likes of both Audrey and Katherine Hepburn, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Vivien Leigh, and ofcourse, the definition of wholesome early hollywood beauty, Elizabeth Taylor.

I've stated many times when Dame Liz Taylor's name came up in reference to classic film actresses, that anyone born after 1955 or so truly can't understand the impact this woman had on culture and film, we all just know of her from her many marriages and things that happened during the rise of the tabloid media as big budget business and her decline to roles on television and state around 1970 or so, sadly, that is all we know her as, the tabloid target of old world hollywood who rumors would dazzle us with insane headlines of marriage after marriage, and who knows what else the muckrackers would say, all she was to use was a relic who would stand up tall with a smile on her face and ignore the negativity of that medium, never once giving them much attention. Though in her later years she would be seen poking fun at her past, jokingly stating she could become a marriage counselor and things of that like, modern tabliod fodder could learn a thing or two from her life.

I often find myself envying those who were able to see her on the silver screen in her prime, for they got to see an amazing show everytime she stepped into scene. So many breathtaking roles and so many times she just stole scenes, it really makes me so envious of people that were able to see her liven the screen in films like "A Place In The Sun", "Butterfield 8", "Boom!", "Who's Afraid Of Virgina Wolfe?", and ofcourse, her defining role in "Cleopatra". Such amazing work, from such an amazing woman, who sadly, watched all of her peers slowly fade away and die, Liz knew she was of a dying breed, the first generation of Hollywood, the generation that not only invented Hollywood in the orange groves outside of Los Angeles, but defined what a star should be and should act like, even if modern stars have abandoned their lessons for the flash in the pan lifestyle were you are only as famous as your next big headline. The stars of today should learn a lesson or two from those like Liz Taylor, and maybe, if they're smart, they will.

May your soul finally rest Dame Elizabeth Taylor, you were one of the greatest there has ever been, and the greatest their ever will be, may you join the acting troop or heaven and be with all of those you've seen go before you... But always know, the path you forged will always be remembered... Rest In Peace dear lady.

And now, as I do in cases like this, here are some images of this amazing woman..

gonna miss ya Liz.... Tell Micheal the world is sorry for what they did to him when you see him...

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BC

The Hasbroverse: Connecting The Cartoons Of The 1980s

2011-03-10T16:58:00.001-05:00

The Hasbroverse:

Greatest Kept Secret Of The 1980s

Or Just Geekdom Gone Into Overdrive?

Its been said many times over, and will be said many times over again in the future, the 1980s was probably the best time to have been of cartoon watching age, we had so many things that you just don't find in modern cartoons, actual indepth and detailed storytelling, adventure, conflict, good vs. evil, all of this sort of stuff that you just don't find in today's world of sloppily dubbed anime about 14 year old kids with overly spikey hair on motorcycles playing some modern version of Mille Bornes but with monsters, or kids playing with tops or pogs whatever stupid goofy things kids are into these days. You see, back then, it was a whole other ballgame, oh sure 90% of cartoons back in the 1980s were to sell toys, but they weren't so blatant about it, we never let the infomercial aspect of it all get past the ability to tell a story, sure it wasn't always the greatest story, infact most of the time the stories weren't really much more then a little rascals style plot of two rival clubhouses playing jokes on each other, but we didn't care, they were, and still are very awesome, even with a sarcastic tint to the glasses we look at them through today.

And its through those aged all be it sarcastic glasses, that afew years ago, it started to become clear to a very few, that there was a pattern that none of us in our youth had even noticed, and when word started to spread, it just amazed us all how deep this pattern went. See, in the 1980s, the king of toy companies was Hasbro/Takara (now Hasbro/TakaraTomy), they had the top selling toylines for boys in The Transformers and G.I Joe: A Real American Hero, and the second and third top selling toys for girls in My Little Pony and Jem And the Holograms. All iconic toy lines, three of which are still in production today, and in the case of The Transformers, has been in constant production sense 1983. Now thats all impressive enough, but, what if I told you, that these four toy lines turned iconic classic cartoons, along with three other lesser known lines also by the same company; Inhumaniods, Battle Beasts and C.O.P.S, were all set in the same universe, much like how comic book characters all interact with each other in a shared world? And what if I told you that thanks to them all being written by the same handful of people who went on to become well known comic book writers, and that they and Hasbro intended it to be that way from the very start? Kind of hard to believe isn't it? That such girl aimed things as Jem and My Little Pony would actually be in the same world and be happening at the same time as the autobots were fighting the decepticons, and the joes were fighting cobra, but believe me, its completely true. And though you can argue that its because Hasbro marketed their shows as blocks, and bought a lot of the add time during said blocks of airtime, which would fill the airwaves with adverts for its products, but that wasn't really enough for the writers, being comic book writers to the core, they set about dropping subtle little hints here and there connecting all of these shows together, some of the hints were pretty obvious, some were momentary and if you missed them you wouldn't get them, but be sure, they are all infact there, and they are infact all intentional, and have been from the concept stages.

So the question must be asked, how exactly do I have proof positive that The Transformers, G.I Joe: A Real American Hero, Jem And The Holograms, Inhumaniods, Battle Beasts, C.O.P.S, and My Little Pony all happened in the same universe at the same time? Well to answer that, lets play connect the dots (lala lala lala), starting from the same point that I started at, and then we'll go from there...

My trip into this wonderful world started with a quote from long time comic book and cartoon writer Buzz Dixon, who when asked about his involvement with, of all things, My Little Pony: The Movie, stated the following:

“Funny story about an early draft of the My Little Pony movie: I was asked to punch up the original treatment. Basically this consisted of indicating where various music scenes could go, adding more magic and gee-whiz to otherwise pedestrian talking head scenes, etc. At one point one of the Little Ponies had to go looking for...something or someone, I forget. I suggested she encounter some of the Transformers and Joes in her search, specifically, a scene where she flies up to Shipwreck who is drinking some amber fluid from a bottle. Shipwreck would just stare at her in bug-eyed disbelief and she’d fly on, then Shipwreck would smash the bottle, take his cap off his head, put his left hand over his heart and raise his right hand in an oath, muttering frantically under his breath. Hasbro said, ‘Very funny. No.’”

This is what had me thinking at first, if they could just casually drop such a key character as Shipwreck, a fan favorite member of the G.I Joe team who was prominently featured in the first two seasons of the G.I Joe: A Real American Hero series, and consider dropping in various Transformers for a cameo in a series about magic ponies that fly about and sing and whatever other stuff they did on that show, then that obviously means they thought maybe cross promotion would be pretty normal for the course. This is what set me on a fact finding mission to see just how, or if, this idea had gone past just a silly drawing board idea to keep writers from getting bored, or if there was more meat to it. And soon after my quest started, I found what I think is possibly the biggest piece in this puzzle, thats where I found Hector Ramirez, the most traveled character in the entire Hasbroverse.

Hector Ramirez is ment to be the animated version of still credible in 1984 journalist Geraldo Rivera, who had yet to lose his credibly by not really opening up Al Capone's vault on live television. Much like this real world counterpart, Hector is known for his hard hitting ambush style investigative reporting, slanting his facts in whatever direction he feels the public should go. His trademark mustache and brown coat are how you recognize him in each of his appearances, appearing in four of the seven series, first appearing in three episodes of G.I Joe, one episode of Jem and one episode of The Transformers, before appearing atleast once per episode in all 13 episodes of Inhumaniods, though it should be noted that only in his G.I Joe and Inhumaniods appearances were the only ones where he is directly called by name, in the other two, he is voiced by the same man each time he's appeared, and looks relatively the same. Hector is listed in the script and series bibles of each of the shows as a “Crossover Character” again, implying from the start that from the start, it was all intended to be connected.

From Hector Ramirez, my drip took me to a character by the name of Brad J. Armbruster, a character who first appeared on G.I Joe: A Real American Hero as the master pilot called “Ace”, he was featured prominently in the first two years of G.I Joe, and then was never really seen again on the show, around this time, a character called Brad J. Armbruster, who happens to be a master pilot appears in the first episode of The Inhumaniods, where he is shot down by one of the main villains of the series, his legs are greatly damaged and he is no longer able to walk under his own power, he is then given a special suit by a group called The Earth Corps, that allows him to walk and fly, he takes on the name Sabre Jet and transfers from his elite combat unit, to the Earth Corps where he joins their ranks full time. This is the first time that a major character from one show has been transferred to another, Ace retains his same look he does in G.I Joe, he retains the same voice actor and personality as well. Oddly though, once becomes Sabre Jet, Brad never mentions his former team or what they do, but thats kind of customary, even though all of these shows are going on at the same time, and you see glimpses and stuff, but there is no real official direct references, which is, ofcourse why I had to write this article in the first place.

From researching the whole Ace/Sabre Jet connection, I ofcourse was drawn to the plethora of characters that was the cast of G.I Joe, because, you know, when you're looking for a central hub for your toy line universe, where better then a show that by definition is about a giant unit of military personnel thats whole job is to shoot one type of gun or rocket drive a certain vehicle or one certain type of specialist job no matter how obscure? And in two cases, thats just what Hasbro's writing troop did!

In the second season of G.I Joe, we were introduced to a character named Beachhead, he was kind of a jerk and all we really knew of him other then this was that he was number 5 in line of command of the Joe Team, and that his name was Wayne R. Sneeden Jr, which kind of explains why he's such a jerk. Now when you take a look at probably the most obscure line of these seven, C.O.P.S, which is basically just G.I Joe set in the future with a different lead villain, you notice there is a character there by the codename Checkpoint, and when you check his file card, his name happens to be, Wayne R. Sneeden III, and it states his father “was part of an elite anti-terrorist military unit that fought a ruthless terrorist organization bent on world domination during the 1980s and 1990s.”, which would indicate that Checkpoint is infact Beachhead's son. In a similar situation, the C.O.P.S K-9 unit, called “Bowser and Blitz” who, share an almost telepathic connection, are in look, design, and voice actor, exactly the same to G.I Joe military police K-9 unit “Mutt and Junkyard”, with statement on their profile card that they come from a long line of MP Officers specializing in K-9 use. There is more stuff connection G.I Joe, but I'll get to that in a minute....

For now, we'll do the simple and easy one, all of the music (except for three tracks “cold slither”, “the cobra who got away” and a rock and roll version of the G.I Joe theme which were written for G.I Joe) used in The Transformers, G.I Joe and The Inhumaniods, came from the series Jem And The Holograms, they just didn't use the lyrics, but if you take the time, you can connect every single instrumental to each song used in the Jem series, either preformed by Jem And The Holograms, The Misfits, The Stingers, or any of the other bands that appeared on that show. This one is the one that makes logical sense really, you have a bunch of cartoons all for toys by the same company, all drawn by the same company, all dubbed by the same company, it makes logical sense that you'd use the music thats already right there and isn't gonna cost you anything. But still, given how often Jazz and Blaster would use music to drive off the Decepticons and various other evil doers, its pretty hilarious to realize they were driving them off with songs by a pop band.

The Jem series also had one prominent scene in the episode “Broadway Magic” that featured a television screen that had a news broadcast on featuring Inhumaniod monster D’Compose fighting off some Earth Corps officers. Jem also featured an episode with a hard hitting interview by Hector Ramirez, which we mentioned earlier. The main “villains” on Jem, an all punk girl band The Misfits, were often shown in the company of three men that most will recognize as Torch, Buzzer and Ripper, collectively known as The Dreadnoks, the mercenaries who with their leader Zartan, were prominent members of Cobra in the first two seasons of G.I Joe, you also see The Misfits afew times in G.I Joe when you see The Dreadnoks during their down time at their home, an abandoned amusement park in the florida everglades, its believed that The Misfits met The Dreadnoks when they were posing as the rock band Cold Slither (You'll read about that more in a minute).

I'll get this last one out of the way before the big finish to this, most people aren't aware, but the short lived series and toy line Battle Beasts, sort of a 1980s attempt Pokemon for those that don't remember, were infact an offshoot of The Transformers, and featured heavily into their history and Japanese comic book appearance. They first appeared in a cartoon we did not get here in america called Transformers: Headmasters, featuring transformers thats heads detached and become smaller robots while the body transformed as well. They appeared in (If I recall correctly) three episodes of the show, and were then launched into their own line, their rubsigns, which here in america had elemental symbols, in japan, had either autobot for good or decepticon for bad symbols, and the line was called “Beastformers” over there. When the short lived tv series was created and aired here in the states, there were very few hints of any that they were connected to the transformers, but rest assured, they are deeply entrenched in the history of that franchise, though had The Transformers franchise in america had been given a forth season instead of the series ender “Rebirth”, and if the short lived battlebeast series had lasted more then 13 episodes mostly aired at like 6am on a sunday morning, we were told there would have been a bigger connection between the two.

And now the final part of this article, the connections between Hasbro's too flagship lines, and flagship programs, the overwelming connections between The Transformers and G.I Joe: A Real American Hero. I'll start with the most obvious ones, in the third season of The Transformers, set in the year 2006, much like the series C.O.P.S, as apposed to 1986 or so like the other shows were, there is a character by the name of Marissa Faireborn, an officer of an organization called the Earth Defense Corps, or EDC for short, given its logo its implied to be a large scale future version of the Earth Corps from The Inhumaniods, Marissa Faireborn is an interesting character because she looks like, and shares a voice with, popular G.I Joe character Lady Jaye, who was implied to be dating fellow Joe team member Flint, who's name was Dashiell Faireborn, in one episode, Marissa is shown a hologram of her father, who is dressed like and voiced by the same voice actor as Flint, and much like with Checkpoint and Bowser and Blitz, we're to believe that Marissa is the daughter of, not one, but two members of the G.I Joe Team.

The Transformers season three actually makes no attempt to hide the connection with G.I Joe, and makes it actually more blatant later on, in an episode where a mobster hires a mysterious scientist by the name of “old snake” who has a machine that can swap a robot's mind into a human body, and a human's mind into a robot's body. Whats interesting is that Old Snake wears a big fedora hat and a long trench coat, and a distinctive blue suit and metal mask that looks unmistakeably like the suit and mask worn by Cobra Commander, they drop several blatant implications through the entire episode that he is infact Cobra Commander, even his final statement of the episode, where he's walking off into the night, Old Snake says “They just don't make terrorists like they used too...” followed by Old Snake yelling the distinctive “COOOBRRAAA!!” battlecry as he walks off with a hand raised. If we're to believe that was implied in the profile card of Checkpoint from C.O.P.S, then it stands to reason that G.I Joe finally defeated Cobra, or atleast splintered it into other smaller groups, which would explain shows like C.O.P.S and later futuristic incarnations of G.I Joe.

There are more, less obvious connections between the two shows, in the second season of The Transformers episode “Prime Target”, the episode starts out with Red Star of the Oktober Guard, the USSR's version of G.I Joe (haha love that cold war wackyness), testing an experimental top secret version of what looks like a MIG fighter jet called Red Oktober One, which is then stolen by the episode's one time villain, as a set up to introduce and explain said villain as a big game hunter/collector of rare things, as well as his feeling the need to hunt Optimus Prime for sport, believing him the ultimate in big game hunting. This episode was pretty horrible over all, but did allow for the greatest Optimus Prime line ever said, “Amazing, a booby trap that actually catches boobies”.

Another less obvious connections happened in the episode “Autobop”, which was intended as a homage to the whole urban meets kung fu genre of blaxploitation films of the 1970s, where in you find the Decepticons actually recycle a COBRA plot, taking the COBRA plot to use subliminal messages to control the population of the world, they hid said subliminal messages in a song they wrote and produced called “Cold Slither” and had The Dreadnoks pose as a rock band of the same name. Autobop finds The Decepticons actually using the exact same instrumental as Cold Slither to enslave those who go to a dance club called Danceatron into building an energy station for them. Autobop really was only ment to showcase a fight between both tapedecks Soundwave and Blaster, but it ended up becoming more known for just how hilariously the episode was written with tons of forced in 1980s pop music references, but thats a story for another time.

Another connection between The Transformers and G.I Joe: A Real American Hero happened in two separate episodes that don't at first seem connected, but at closer explanation, they are. In the G.I Joe episode “The Primordial Plot”, COBRA creates an army of cloned dinosaurs on an uncharted island for the means of using them as weapons of terroristic nature, in the end of the episode, as per normal course of action, COBRA has been defeated by the Joe team, and sense no one really has any place to keep giant dinosaurs, you know, because they're giant dinosaurs and they need room to stomp about and do dinosaury things, the Joes decide to just leave the cloned dinosaurs on not Jurassic Park, leaving the island uncharted as to keep others from happening across Denver The Last Dinosaur and all his cartoon pals, or so you think! In The Transformers two part episode “Dinobot Island”, while exploring the planet earth on a day when they weren't beating up Decepticons, the autobots came across an island that isn't on any maps and is, much to their surprise, populated with dinosaurs, which they figure is a good way to keep the dinobots, the dinosaur based Autobot heavy weapons team, when they aren't needed and as well as giving them a place all of their own, naming it Dinobot Island, the Dinobots kind of move in and proceed to get their dinosaur on. What is interesting is, when the autobots find the island, its surrounded by a forcefield of some kind, and though it wasn't shown during the primordial plot, it is possible that the Joe team left a giant forcefield around the island to not only protect it from invaders, but protect the rest of the world from the dinosaurs, after all, if a flyer got off the island and made it to civilization, then bad stuff would happen, the reason the transformers could pass through said forcefield could be explained simply with belief that transformers, being built out of a metal called “cybertronium” and having many other non-earth material and wiring and the like, could simply pass through a forcefield aimed at earth based people and machines sense they're on different wavelengths as it were.

In truth there are many other things connecting all seven of these series together, but they're small things you'd need to dig deep into the histories to find, and though I am aware of them through research, I feel I've made my point here, there was, and is, a connection between seven distinct cartoons and toylines in the 1980s, and recently it was confirmed, and stated that all of hasbro's properties happen in the same universe, which makes things a lot more confusing given that in recent years Hasbro has bought out rival companies Kenner, Tonka, and Galubob, its been implied that other 1980s lines like M.A.S.K, The Visionaries, The Go-Bots, The Rock Lords, and many more are now part of that same universe, this concept seems in recent years to be having some weight, given that in a recent comic book set in the Transformers: Animated continuity, the team encountered, and more importantly called by name, a Rock Lord, from the shortlived 1980s Go-Bot spin off line, as well as recently G.I Joe added Matt Tracker, leader of M.A.S.K, complete with mask “spectrum” and his accessories were what made up the popular mask “adventure pack” set, Matt's bio even mentions the organizations M.A.S.K and V.E.N.O.M which were the main focus of the cartoon M.A.S.K., adding them both into the Hasbroverse, much to the protest of hardcore Joefans, but really no one cares what they think because G.I Joe fans can't seem to write a proper wiki.

So there you have it, in a short as can be version, the connections that link together, possibly the most popular toylines and cartoons of the 1980s, well except He-Man and Thundercats, but thats a whole other matter, but for now, I hope you've enjoyed reading my latest attempts at bringing you all into the geek forest, and maybe its made you think, or maybe learn something you didn't know before. Either way, I hope you all enjoyed it...

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BC

X-Men: First Class; A First Look

2011-03-02T18:08:00.000-05:00

X-Men First Class:

A First Look At What Is Either The Best

X-Men Film Ever, Or A Total Trainwreck

I've been avoiding talking much about this film, after all, as the last decade or so will tell you, the marvel comics based movies that were not made as part of Marvel's shared film universe have just been abysmal; Spiderman 3, both Punisher films, both Hulk films, both Fantastic Four films, Ghost Rider, X-Men: The Last Stand, and that cinematic abortion that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine just to name afew, should give you the idea of what I mean.

Its because of such let downs like this that when I started to read about the making of this new Xmen film, set in the past and telling the story of how the two greatest champions for mutantkind, Magneto and Professor X, grew to be the men they are known as now, how Professor X founded the X-Men and how Magneto founded The Brotherhood, that I started to get alittle leery, in concept the idea would be great, but also, it cancels out X-Men Origins: Magneto basically telling the same story, which I've been looking forward to for many years, which saddened me, but I would be willing to overlook if it was done properly, and well, FOX Studios doesn't really seem to fully understand the whole idea of making a proper X-Men movie, or really a superhero movie in general really. But after seeing some of these still shots, and seeing the trailer, I have to kind of wonder alittle bit if maybe they've really finally discovered how to properly use a property that should, in all fairness, like spiderman, blade, fantastic four and daredevil among others, should just be given back to Marvel Studios to properly integrate into their film universe.

Now, before we go any farther, lets have a look at the trailer shall we?

the film is set in 1962 or so, given the implication of the cuban missile crisis, which makes alot of sense, the first X-Men comic book came out in 1963, so the timeline is right, Magneto and Charles knew each other and founded the X-Men first before their split in ideology causing Magneto to form The Brotherhood, so they got that right as well, and the early uniforms are right too, though I'm not sure how they got an SR-71 Blackbird in 1963, maybe there is some time passing involved, like it starts out in the early 60s then progresses to the late 60s with the school for gifted youngsters founded or something, which would make pretty logical sense honestly, it takes time to build a fortune and a school for mutants, it doesn't just happen overnight. Plus, skipping ahead in time would explain the apperance of the third party in the film, The Hellfire Club, headed by Sebastian Shaw and his prize student Emma Frost, who, if the films follow the way they're supposed to progress, will open her own school to counter Professor X and eventually turn good when all those students die.

My other really big issue is the cast, here look at who are listed as the characters on both sides...

James McAvoy as Professor Charles Xavier: The leader and founder of the X-Men and one of Magneto's best friends until conflicts of opinion create a rivalry between them and their teams.
* Laurence Belcher as a young Charles Xavier.

Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr / Magneto: The leader and founder of the Brotherhood of Mutants and one of Professor X's best friends until conflicts of opinion create a rivalry between them and their teams.
* Bill Milner as a young Erik Lehnsherr.

Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw: The leader of a secret society bent on taking over the world called the Hellfire Club.

January Jones as Emma Frost / White Queen: A mutant telepath who can also change her body into diamond form; also a member of the Hellfire Club.

Rose Byrne as Moira MacTaggert: A scientist and an authority on genetic mutation and love interest of Charles Xavier.

Nicholas Hoult as Dr. Henry "Hank" McCoy / Beast: Beast is a former scientist and political activist, who transformed into a frightening looking mutant, but is kind at heart.

Jennifer Lawrence as Raven Darkholme / Mystique: A dangerous shapeshifting mutant.
* Morgan Lily as a young Raven Darkholme.

Oliver Platt as "The Man in Black": A character who is not a mutant.

Ray Wise as the United States Secretary of State

Zoë Kravitz as Angel Salvadore: A mutant with insectoid physiology.

Caleb Landry Jones as Sean Cassidy / Banshee: An Irish mutant with the ability of sonic screaming.

Lucas Till as Alex Summers / Havok: A mutant who has the ability to absorb cosmic energy and discharge blasts from the energy.

Edi Gathegi as Armando Muñoz / Darwin: A mutant with the power of "reactive evolution."

Jason Flemyng as Azazel: Nightcrawler's father who has the ability to teleport.

Álex González as Janos Quested / Riptide: A mutant with the ability to spin his body at an incredibly fast rate.

Andy Callaghan as a member of the Hellfire Club.

Tony Rich as Thomas: A mutant with the ability to duplicate other mutant powers within a specific range.

first off, lets get afew notes out of the way... 1.) YES RAY WISE!!! 2.) this character Thomas, is Mimic, I have no idea why no one's calling him Mimic though. 3.) They go out of their way to state Azazel is the father of x-men member Nightcrawler, and with Nightcrawler's mother Mystique as part of the cast as well, its not really hard to figure it won't be long before we see him or there implication of him coming along.

Second, there are some castings that aren't exactly right for the first X-Men, well ok most of them aren't right, Beast is the only one thats right out of them all, because Darwin's whole implication on the team is... subject to cannon, Angel Salvadore shouldn't even be born yet, and Havok was "missing and assumed dead" with his brother Scott, Cyclops, being the leader of the original X-Men team. Though Banshee and Mimic becoming later X-men was correct, so i guess you just gotta go with the flow and accept changes, however odd they maybe.

i will say this though, I am very impressed with the handling of Emma Frost, I was really leery of the whole idea of her as a character in this set in the 60s and all that, given how Emma's become abit of a fanservice character in the last decade or so, I was worried of how they'd dress her, after all, she couldn't walk about in her original outfit of a corset, bikini bottom, thigh high stiletto heel boots and a white cape, I kind of assumed they'd go with her more subdued 1990s turned good look; a corset, leather pants, knee boots and a business jacket. But thankfully, they went with a 1960s Girl On The Motorcycle / Marianne Faithful / Emma Peel in the Avengers look for her, which I feel fits better in a case like this.

Anyway, enough of my rambling, check out some imagery...

just think, all this and no wolverine... thankfully. Seriously FOX, don't fuck this up. DO NOT.

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BC

I Married A Witch!

2011-02-26T00:13:00.000-05:00

I Married A Witch!:

Or Veronica Lake Is The Hottest Witch Ever

I haven't dug into the past of Hollywood much lately, and I felt today was as good a day as any to do so, after all, I happened to catch this one on television recently and fell in love with it all over again. Plus, its the movie that the classic television series Bewitched is based on. For those of you that haven't really seen or heard of this film, well then, shame on you, to often is Veronica Lake, the original bombshell, overshadowed by hotness-come-laters like Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Diana Dors and Jane Mansfield and the like, both in her impact and importance to pop culture, and as well as her importance to film and hollywood in general. And though one can argue that like those that came after her, one could argue that most of Veronica's work was simply to just get an insanely hot woman on camera in vamp like roles just to draw in the theater-goers, but not so much with this film. I Married A Witch! stands out as possibly the funniest and most endearing of her many roles, or atleast the one she had the most fun doing.

The film itself, starts off in late 1600s Salem Massachusetts, during the Salem Witch trials, young puritan Jennifer and her father Danial are accused of being witches by local man Jonathan Wooley, and are then burned at the stake, as was the style of dealing with witches at the time, for they had not yet discovered the sexy witch outfit that has saved many a modern witch and goth girl from being burned at the stake in modern times. As they burn, it turns out Jennifer and her father were infact witches, and as she burns at the stake, Jennifer curses Wooley's family, claiming that every single man from now until the end of time, will be doomed to marry the wrong woman and never be happy. After this, the ashes of Jennifer and her father are scattered at the tree they were burned infront of, as to lock them in the tree forever. No idea how that works, but its the 1940s, so they knew no better, hell the general population of the world, like juggalos, didn't know how magnets worked back then, interestingly enough also like juggalos, the general population in the 1940s also believed that sex was a sin but having a friend that was black or hispanic was an even greater sin, but asians are ok because asian women are hot. Also, no one ever seems to mention that using witchcraft to bond souls to a tree, even if for god, is still witchcraft either.

Eventually, they show time go on, and all the Wooley men, all played by the same guy btw, living in bad marriage after bad marriage, doomed to forever be unhappy in love and in life, all because some idiot hundreds of years ago accused a hot goth chick and her dad of being witches and now everyone of them has to suffer for it, even if its not their fault. As luck would have it, in 1942, lightening strikes the tree where Jennifer and her father Danial's souls were trapped., splitting the track in two and somehow freeing the two witches souls, who as I'm sure you can guess, are pretty pissed off at the fact they were burned at the stake for being witches, and then had witchcraft used on them, in the name of god, to lock their souls in a god damn tree for all of time. They appear as little balls of smoke that float about observing the new world, even hiding inside more then afew bottles of booze, much to hilarious extent. Eventually they discover that there is a Wooley man living near by, and discover that he is running for governor of Massachusetts, and is about to marry the daughter of his biggest money contributor, whom he doesn't care at all for, but feels that its best for his career. Jennifer, having been locked up inside of a tree decides to instead of letting the nature of the curse she put on the Wooley men take its course, she wants to stick it to the family abit extra this time now that she's free of the tree, her father Danial, happily agrees and sets about gathering the stuff needed to give Jennifer a body, so she can go about doing evil, because its alot better doing evil in a body then to do evil as a cute little ball of smoke. From there, the basic romantic comedy plot takes over, Jennifer meets the current Mr. Wooley and she finds a way into his heart and makes him love her 1940s style, she as well falls in love with him 1940s style, and in the end, though trials and tribulations and normal every day romantic comedy stuff, which ofcourse leads to the eventual realization, "Love is stronger then witchcraft".

The plot and concept might seem simplistic and abit goofy by today's standards, but you have to remember, in 1942, this had never been done before, in a sense, this was one of, if not the first romantic comedy, and still one of the best I think. The great Veronica Lake shines while keeping her trademark bombshell appearance, and adding alittle bit of campy fun to it, the image of her in the witch hat is one of the most iconic images of Veronica from her entire career. Under-rated character actor Fredric March, most known for playing Death in "Death Takes A Holiday" the film "Meet Joe Black" is a remake of, plays every male member of the Wooley family rather well, they don't at all look like just the same guy wearing different clothing, for the short time you see each of them they are unique and different then the one before, thats a detail trait that is so refreshing to see, even if it was in a film thats the same age as most of the people that watch The History Channel. The rest of the cast shines as well, even right down to the goofy ending. Its easy to tell after watching it, how it evolved into Bewitched, it ends leaving you wondering what happens next, and I guess a logical answer would be to do a tv show along the same lines. So, if you get a chance, and you wanna see a nice throwback to the days of old school hollywood, then please, give this gem a look.

here is the trailer...

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BC

Good Bye To A Goddess: Tura Satana

2011-02-06T13:38:00.001-05:00

Good Bye Tura Satana:

A Memorial To One Of The Greatest

Goddesses Of The Grindhouse Era

On February 4th, 2011, the world got alittle less awesome, for you see, the great Tura Satana passed away. Tura might not jump to mind right away for most, but to those of us in Grindhouse know her well. Tura Satana was, for those who aren't aware, the star of such films as "Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!" and "Astro-Zombie" and to fans of Rob Zombie's films, she was Varla in "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto". Tura was not really in many films, less then 15 total, but like my dear friend Maila Nurmi, it wasn't the amount of films you were in, it was the iconic presence you brought to the few films you were in.

I mention Tura Satana being alot like Maila Nurmi, and in an eerie sense she was, where Maila had a short but memorable career followed by life in the everyday world, which near the end embracing the cult fandom that deems them a goddess of film and culture. Serious, its weird, where Maila dated and almost married James Dean, Tura Satana dated Elvis Presley for along while and turned down his offer of marriage. Tura worked before acting as a Burlesque dancer, she had many cameos and short appearances in films as a dancer, as well as having a popular burlesque style show she did in Hollywood, gaining her, among other bits of acclaim, a mention by William Hanna (of Hanna-Barbara Cartoons) as his favorite "unclothed dancer of all time" where he wrote that her figure and facial features made her "the ultimate woman, who is well aware of how to use her body.", even while she was acting in films, Tura continued her dancing, claiming it was her real first love. Tura's acting career was tragically cut short though, while working on The Doll Squad in 1973, Tura was shot by a former, jealous, mentally unstable lover who had become obsessed with her and refused to let her go.

After that shot, Tura believed her acting career over. She still danced for awhile, but also took a job as a nurse at a hospital, which she kept for many years, she then would spend many years working as a dispatcher for the Los Angeles Police Department, where she she worked until 1981, when a car accident damaged her back and caused her to be in and out of hospitals for 2 years having two major surgeries and 15 minor ones, she also met her late husband while working there, they were married until her husband's death in 2000. It wasn't until around 2004 or so, that Tura realized, and then embraced the fact that film lovers on the internet were still raving about her and her small body of work, up until the day she died of heart failure last week, Tura spent alot of her time at grindhouse film festivals, and conventions like ComiCon and such where you find many a former star signing and interacting with the fans. Tura was said to state many times that once she was aware of her fanbase, she realized how much she was loved and how much impact her work and legacy had on the world of film. "I never dreamed that being a high class stripper who acted because Russ Meyer liked my tits would have gained me so many fans, even all these years later. Its an amazing feeling." she would say.

Tura Satana died of heart failure on Febuary 4th, in Reno Nevada, she was 72, and will be very missed... And now, as I tend to do, I'd like to give you all afew images of Tura in her hayday, as a tribute to a great person whom I will not soon forget... Whereever you end up Tura, be it heaven or hell, I know you'll be kicking ass and taking names. Rest in peace.

gonna miss ya darlin...

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BC

Mr. Collins Explains Twilight

2011-02-01T16:36:00.000-05:00

Mr. Collins Explains Twilight:

A Realist's Look At How Stephenie Meyer Destroyed

Iconic Classic Horror Archtypes For Us All

I was inspired to write this while watching "Vampires Suck" the other day, and though it does an alright job spoofing what is possibly the worst movie series sense they thought it was a good idea to make more then one Weekend At Bernie's film, I felt in what seemed like their rushing to get it out while it was still topical, they pulled alot of punches and fell abit short of actually making true fun of this film series. So I thought, in the spirit of all that is fun and truthful, and the fact that I'm snowed in at the moment, oh, and for the good of the world, I would explain to those of you who either have avoided, or are clueless to all things Twihard, the ins and outs of the series that according to Ms. Kayla Patterson of Santa Barbra California, is the creation of vampires and werewolves, you know, because those hundreds of years of folklore and literature before the first Twilight book was published, never happened, and everyone knows Stephenie Meyer created vampires and werewolves, zomg for serious, how can you not know that?? .... god I wish I was making that up.. I really wish I was, so help me, I wish I was. I fear for the future.

So I guess the best way to start this out is to sort of deal with the elephant in the room, which is ofcourse the most asked question about the series; "Whats the point of it all?" And well thats pretty simple. Publishers know that angsty tween and teenage girls, milfs, cougars and middle aged women that aren't married and don't have massive collections of living cats or teddybears or living cats dressed as teddybears, all like a good mediocrely written bit of emotional wank material. To publishers, this kind of drivel pays the bills and puts their kids through whatever community college they're going too till their parents hand them a publishing company. Publishers don't care about prestige of honored and celebrated authors anymore, they just care about making money. Twilight and its following books were published for the same reason John Grisham keeps writing the same novel over and over again for about 20 years, because publishers know it'll make money. Lots and lots of money. After all thats all that matters, like Wu-Tang Clan said Cash Rules Everything Around Me, get the money, dollar dollar bill y'all.

No one is really sure why the target demographics felt the need to make the twilight series so popular, maybe its because deep down, every woman in the demographics want to live out their fantasy where they turn their gay BBF straight and they take them to the prom and get married and buy them a pony and have little babies and a misbehaving puppy that stays in the yard. Maybe they all deep down want to have fatalistic relationships that deep down they know are doomed to end in ruins, but somehow magically don't. Or maybe its the other reason, the one reason that no one ever really wants to think about, the fact that deep down, all its readers wish nothing more then to be treated like shit by two hot guys with mental and social issues, apparently its every woman's secret dream to be in a lovelorn and love torn story of courting between two lovers who both love the same woman, one who is mentally abusive and loves to toy with a woman's feelings and emotions, which is ok because he's a loner with a deep soul, and the other is a physically abusive douchebag who is prone to fits of rage, anger and violence at time, but its ok because deep down he really cares about her.

Seriously does this shit read like a lifetime original movie or what? Honestly, all it needs is a rape, kidnapped children or the woman or her kids being held against their will somewhere, and either star the mom from Growing Pains, Valerie Bertanderny, or Meredith Baxter Bernie, and its a lifetime original movie, just with alittle sci fi, you know, because chicks dig vampires and werewolves, or whatever the hell kind of Furry that Vincent from Beauty and The Beast was.

Its not just the hacked together and horribly written and plotted story that makes these films and the books that spawned them so unbearable, its the characters, I mean honestly, betwixt their lazily created names, and fanfiction like backgrounds that would make a guy that writes serious Smurf fanfiction cry in pain at how horrible and angsty they are to get through. Here, take a look at the three main characters to see what I mean...

Bella Swan:

"I've never given much thought to how I would die. But dying in the place of someone I love seemed like a good way to go." - the first quote of Bella from Twilight, yes even the first page is angsty.

Bella is basically your average lonely misunderstood girl who is misunderstood and lonely because she's misunderstood. Chances are she spends her free time that doesn't involve being stalked by faux-werewolves and vampires who watch her sleep, watching Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and probably downloads episodes of Hollyoaks, Shortland Street and Packed To The Rafters because she just needs more angst in her life. When she's not being an angst magnet or dreaming about creatures of the night taking her to the prom and buying her a pony, a castle and a Mazda Miata, she probably spends her time listening to My Chemical Romance, Echo And The Bunny-men, and her secret love, Kraftwerk, some of her angst comes from not being able to tell her friends of her secret love of German industrial/techno for fear she'll be kicked out of the fake wiccan coven the goth kids accepted her into after she drank that tomato juice they claimed was blood.

Bella is your basic idiot emokid thats emo for no reason at all. She has a good life with a father that might have made alot of mistakes, is attempting to try and make up for it, even if he buys her a shitty old truck he got from local indians that fixed it up when they weren't gambling or guilting white people about things that happened a hundred years before any of them was ever born and shouldn't really have any baring on modern society, but atleast he's trying to bridge the gap. Bella's just an emokid and wants to feel depressed because people notice the depressed girl, they don't notice the girl that is devoid of all personality and social skills doodling things in her notebooks like "I heart Vlad Teppes" where in closer inspection you find out Vlad Teppes is her cat or some other wanna be emo/goth shit. Bella, like every other emogirl like her that doesn't slut it up with pleather, corsets and kneeboots and the like, has no real idea what relationships are ment to be like, and she, ofcourse gets herself stuck in a love triangle between two abusive teenage boys, who are damaging in different ways, something Bella doesn't mind because it really just feeds her angsty angstastic angstarific angst, which is really all Bella's got going for her. She's kind of like Keira "skinnypants" Knightly in that respect, just with big girl boobs, not a training set like Keira has.

Edward Cullen:

"I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill."

If that quote didn't atleast wound you with its attack of emo and angst, then you are a more powerful person then I am. Seriously, if you thought Bella was angsty with all her angst and depression and super mega ultra angst, then wait till you see Edward, the main "hero" of the books and the films and spends 90% of the first three books in the series in a fight to the death turned bromantic relationship with Jacob Black, his rival for Bella's one dimensional soulless version of "love". Edward is your basic post Anne Rice vampire who instead of being the ultimate in predatory creatures of the night, has been turned into what basically counts as every girl's gay best friend thats still hot enough to allow for girls to dream about him going straight for them, except instead of how a gay best friend has to struggle with their constant unending love of the cock, Edward must struggle with his eternal thirst is for human blood.... and his unending love of the cock. In a sense he's a female masturbatory aid if you're into dark loner types who chances are have an ipod full of Atrayu, Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights.

I feel at this point I should mention that though he shares the many traits of post Dark Shadows movie and television vampires; being able to be outside in the daylight, ice cold skin that no one seems to mind for some odd reason, special powers, mood swings caused by a desire to be human again so you an feel emotions, depression caused by having everything you could ever want except "true love", caring about the innermost feelings of depressive lonely girls, ect, with Edward its taken one step farther away from the ultimate apex predator, and pushed closer to wacky gay sidekick by making him sparkle in the sunlight. Yes, you read that correctly, apparently now vampires sparkle in the sunlight, which not only makes them easier for vampire hunters and snipers to find, but it makes them as threatening and scary as your average one hit wonder rapper. Yeah, thats right, as far as vampires go, Edward Cullen is about as scary as Count Chocula and Count Von Count. Though to be fair, among vampires Count Chocula is seen as kind of an Uncle Tom, so I guess that really isn't a good reference point, but whatever, you get the idea.

Jacob Black:

"I know how you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down. I promise that you can always count on me."

If you haven't figured it out by now Jacob Black is kind of creepy. He's a werewolf thats not really a werewolf in a pack of not really werewolves who just act like werewolves because they're native american and can get away with odd shit like that because they're native american. Jacob in the books and films is kind of like a puppy, not the cute take them to the park and pick up girls kind of puppy, the kind that when you leave for work gets mad and rips up your couch and shits on your bed out of anger that you had the nerve to leave them for any length of time, kind of puppy. He is constantly trying to get Bella to notice him as more then just a friend, which accounts for why his shirt is off 90% of the entire film series, though its best to forget about his "pack" which are all just creepy dead eyed guys with the same build as Jacob and the same weird need to be shirtless, maybe its a not really a werewolf even though we act like werewolves thing...

Jacob is the character that really makes me laugh the most out of this whole horrible series, really he is, Jacob spends the better part of the books and films stuck in Bella's Friendzone until he becomes a wolf and then forgets how to wear a shirt, it speaks volumes about him and about Bella when you realize that the only reason she even gives this guy any notice is because he goes from dorky loser to that teenage boy that cleans your parents pool and does their lawn work every summer that you find out years later was having sex with all the hot housewives in the neighborhood. It basically says that Bella's kind of shallow abit because she didn't notice the idiot till he took his shirt off to show her that he had a six pack and a VIP ticket for her to the gun show. Now this might seem kind of cute and all, but you have to understand one thing, Jacob Black is wolfshit crazy and violent beyond what you'd expect in a book turned film series like this. All of his lines are either super creepy stalker lines to Bella or lines to Edward about how he's going to kill him in a jealous rage, even after him and Edward start their bromantic relationship. In a sense, Jacob is every girl's exboyfriend turned stalker that used to knock them around abit. And he serves as the female masturbatory aid for those women that like it rough or dangerous, or have a thing for the teenage boy that cleans pools in your neighborhood, who probably has an ipod full of thrash and death metal that he likes to play when he's doing the hot lady across the street, or smacking a girl around for not doing what he says. Because you know, thats how he rolls.

And thats basically all you need to know about who's who and what goes on in Twilight, oh sure I could go into depth about how silly the plot is in general, how its so predictable that Edward takes Bella to the prom and they become Prom King and Queen, and how they get all angsty about sex, and how they get vampire married and have a vampire baby and how Bella becomes a vampire, and all the idiotic angry stuff Jacob does, and just the general wrongness of all the things the films teach the youth of america and the world, but so many have covered that already, and really, I just wanted to make fun of something cuz I'm snowed in at the moment. And well I've done that! So, I hope you all have enjoyed my lampooning of this global juggernaut that really shouldn't be, as much as I enjoyed writing it. So, until next we meet, blessid be.

Oh and also, one last thing, Team Belmont (the vampire/werewolf/monster hunters from the castlevania video games) for the win!

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BC

Shameless (US Series)

2011-01-28T17:35:00.000-05:00

....and USA Remake Week concludes...

Shameless (US Series):

How William H. Macy Gave Me Faith

In American Remakes

As I'm sure is evident by my writing this week, and the many other times I've mentioned this, for some reason american production and television people, have issues when it comes to adapting a program from any other country for american viewers, and though in concept the ideas sound great, most of the time they end up watered down, cheaply made knock offs of the shows they're created from. Using this week's other write ups as examples of what I mean; Being Human suffers from idea that if you have a modern show with vampires and werewolves, you have to pander to the Twilight fans and make the vampire like Edward and the werewolf almost passable with out a shirt. And Top Gear suffers from among other things, lack of originality and cowardice to be honest about anything they review out of fear of a company not advertising on it. Both are good examples of what I mean, we water down and strip any originality or charm from a program and claim its "made for american viewers" when infact its not. Its depressing really.

And that is why when word came down that after afew years in development hell, the US version of the hit British cult series Shameless was finally on its way, I did kind of cringe alittle. When word got out that there was a giant race to get the lead roles of Frank and Fiona Gallagher, Frank being the most important role in the series and Fiona being a key in the start of the series, I jumped for joy at the idea of some of the list that were trying out for both roles, it was literally a who's who of A list and highly praised but hadn't found that role to break through yet actors and actresses, serious it was like a fans dream casting. And that made me insanely excited. When word came down that the incredible William H. Macy, who has been a favorite of mine sense Pleasentville and Mystery Men, was to play Frank Gallagher, I nearly screamed for joy like a 13 year old girl at a Justin Beiver concert, yes, I was THAT excited. And when word got out that it would be airing on Showtime, the network that has put such great shows as Weeds and Nurse Jackie on the air, I could not have been more happy, for it really is the perfect place to let this show be what it is, and not have to water it down.

For those of you that aren't aware of the concept of Shameless, its best explained as the classic series Roseanne, but with a larger and poorer family, to quote the show's creator, "where Roseanne was about lower lower class blue collar, Shameless is about a family so poor they have no collar.". It tells the tale of out of work out of luck Frank Gallagher and his six children who live in the poorest part of Chicago, and struggle through the often hilarious, often serious, often completely insane world around them. Veiwers of the original series might notice that the show does follow the same plot as the original, just transposing locations from an estate in Manchester (england england across the atlantic sea..) for a rundown house in Chicago, some of the other scenes and plot stuff is almost carbon copy, the bit where you find out one of Frank's kids is gay was done the exact same way as it was in the original, and Frank wakes up in Canada instead of France, but you kind of make allowances for stuff like that, its not an exact copy, but it does invoke the original's feel and charm, while making it something completely all its own as well. I love when a show does that, its kind of like what The Office did in recent years, you know, before it got tired and became "how do we drive Dwight even more crazy this week" all the time.

The show is amazingly well cast, Joan Cusack finally getting a role she can actually show that she can act, she stars as Sheila, a love interest for Frank, replacing Allison Janney who played Sheila in the unaired version of the pilot, and Emmy Rossum, a young up and coming singer/actress as Fiona Gallagher I was abit leery when I found out Emmy had gotten the role over the likes of Ellen Page, Hayley Hasselhoff and that dead eyed girl who played Bella in Twilight, all of which are some great young talent, I was very leery of someone thats really only noted roles other then Mystic River were the 2004 Phantom of The Opera and Dragonball Evolution, but she plays a good Fiona, ironically one of her love interests is Justin Chatwin as Steve, who also played Goku opposite Emmy in Dragonball Evolution. The rest of cast seems pretty well too, hard to tell with all the Gallagher kids, but they'll grow into their own as the show goes on, just as the original cast did, and those around them as well.

So as I'm sure you're all wondering, do I think its worth giving Shameless a chance? Ofcourse I do, sure its a remake, and sure most of the time remakes don't work, but give this one a try, its not at all showing any sign of horrible watered down slug-ness, its actually, if anything showing how good a remake can be if its left to its own devices and allowed to become what its ment to be, not what a boardroom wants it to be. Plus its worth it to see William H. Macy drunk ans sweaing like a truck driver. Seriously you gotta check this out. .. Oh also, sorry for the lack of images, there really aren't many out there...

here is the trailer incase you missed it when I posted it awhile back, oh and don't worry, the swearing isn't bleeped in the show...

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BC

Top Gear USA

2011-01-26T20:11:00.000-05:00

And USA Remake Week Continues....

Top Gear USA:

Once Again, We Drop The Ball

On A Totally Simple Slam Dunk

I've always been a car fan, I mean like a big, crazy, rattles off performance stats in a tone so excited that I think everyone around me has a clue what I'm jibbering on about kind of car fan. It comes from all the car shows I went to as a kid, both my parents were car people, which means just like their loves of movies and tv and music, I'd ofcourse get their love of cars. Its that love of cars, and the ability to download tv shows over the internet, as well as the almost constant ordering to watch by those I know that live in the UK, that I found Top Gear, the longest running automotive show in the world, and really, the benchmark for anything automotive related on television. Its hip, its creative, its informative, and its pretty enjoyable to watch. But when you think of it, who wouldn't wanna watch a show about three goofballs doing insane crap with used cars and taking the fastest production car in the world out for a Sunday spin?

After many years of success in the UK, and a successful Australian version thats almost as fun to watch as the original and a Russian version that I've seen little of, but found pretty good for a show produced by bears on unicycles, fat smelly guys drunk off tader booze and whores, I found myself jumping for joy when word came out that we were finally getting a Top Gear spin off here in the states. They didn't tell us who would be hosting or what they'd be covering, but when you think of all the fun they can have with an endless supply of american cars at their fingertips, anything really was possible, it was just so exciting to speculate. Sadly though, what could have been every american car lovers dream, was infact, kind of the opposite.

What we got were three guys that looked and acted completely uncomfortable with each other and uncomfortable on camera, and are just lacking in most ways. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they need to be exactly like the originals, after all the Aussies are nothing at all like the UK team and I love them. Its just there seems to be no real connection or shared love between the american hosts, and they just look like a car crash on screen, and with out knowing anything at all about them, you honestly feel they're just three dicks in a circle jerk trying to half ass a horrible rehash of a great concept. here, lets get out the block quotes and break it down alittle shall we?

Tanner Foust is a former X Games Rally Racer and Drift Champion turned Stunt Driver, who's biggest claim to fame is that he was the lead stunt man in the Fast and The Furious films, as well as the main stunt driver for The General Lee in the movie version of The Dukes of Hazzard. He was the host of "Battle Of The Supercars" a show that was produced by the same crew that does Top Gear USA.

This guy is a little annoying prick of a man, he talks like he knows what he's on about, but he really doesn't. His only real shining moments were by sheer luck getting a chevy truck that was able to out last the worst year model of the Ford F-150 and the insanely horrible 1997 Dodge Ram, known for its insane issues and breaking down issues. Yeah thats great, you beat two junkpiles with a moderately well built Chevy truck, you know what we call that up here in New Hampshire, where the rare northern redneck runs wild? A SATURDAY AFTERNOON. Its hardly a feat honestly. Oh and he lost to some skiers using a Lancer Evo in some winter offroading. This guy is an X Games Rally champ, how in the hell does he lose in a Lancer Evo, a street legal rally car, to two douchebags in speed suits?

Adam Ferrara who is known to most as Cheif "Needles" Nelson on the series "Rescue Me", and his other major role of note was in the tour de force known as Paul Blart; Mall Cop. That and some stand up is all this guy's done, no seriously thats it, thats literally all there is.

Adam really doesn't do anything of any real note or notice on the show, he's just there, he stands with the other two and agrees with them or stands silently, its really almost painful to watch him at times. Its like they just slapped this guy in there because someone was all "hey we need a guy that looks dull and can speak car techy talk.." and they found this guy. Ugh.. just.. ugh.

Rutledge Wood is "a professional car enthusiast" who has done television and blog work for Speed Channel, where he mostly annoyed NASCAR drivers and fans by attempting to make it sound like there is alot of technical skill involved in taking left turn and going down a straightaway at 200mph in a non-car that looks exactly like every other non-car on the track. even though there are four companies out there making said cars.

I know I say this alot, but honestly, I HATE HATE HATE HATE Rutledge Wood, he tries to hard to be their Jeremy Clarkson, but he doesn't understand that Clarkson's deadpan serious delivery of brilliantly funny lines isn't something you can mimic, you have to truly believe the stuff you're saying, and not look like a fat idiot in a flannel shirt and thick glasses who mugs at the camera after every attempt at a one liner as if to say "please find me funny I have no real life skills". This is evident in the one time he attempted to do a Clarkson like intro to the segment with the american stig, or "AmeriStig" if you rather, as well as the time he actually called one of the other three "Captain Slow", it makes you wonder if he was just watching reruns and attempting to mimic and steal lines or something. Honestly, I wanna smack him most of the time. Also what is a "Professional Car Enthusiast" exactly? I love cars, have all of my life, and am a tall fat jackass with a beard, does that mean I could get paid to be just like Rutledge Wood and get paid to be a complete tosser on tv? if so, sign me up, I'll do laps around this guy. No, literally, he's that fat, you can do laps around him. Oh also he called Austin Martin "liars" because the DB8 or whatever doesn't go as fast as the speedometer goes up too. .. Moron.

Even AmeriStig annoys me honestly, I've been looking at the test track times from UK, Aussie, Russian and US shows, and AmeriStig is the slowest of them all! Sure the UK has had like 5 Stigs, but what the hell, he does not have one lap in any of the cars, and the one truck, under 1 minute 22 seconds, this shows that the show is either unable to, or unwilling for budget reasons, to get use of the higher end supercars that the three other versions are able to get to do their laps with. Its painful as all hell to watch, plus given how he seems to not really know what he's doing alot, I'm kind of wondering if AmeriStig is a NASCAR or maybe outlaw driver, which would kind of be another nail in the coffin for this jet crashing in slow motion with both of its engines lit up like a giant hippie at Burning Man of a show. And yes, you did read that right, AmeriStig took a Ford F-150 around the test track. No I am not kidding.

The cast isn't the only thing that annoys me, its the out and out lack of creativity in not only challenges, but in the cars they have on the show. of the 12 cars they took around the track, only 2 were american cars, the Dodge Viper and the Ford F-150. You would think that with an american show, you'd do atleast one attempt at a show about muscle cars right? Nope! Instead we get 9 shows and one best of that all feature the Lamborghini Gallardo and its various sub-versions. I mean seriously, they shoehorned this car into EVERY episode. And though most love the challenges, the show is still about the reviews and test drives, and well there really were so few of them, and though I love the Mustang Boss and the Morgan Aero SuperSports, it made me sad that they were really the only non-bias reviews done on the show, granted 90% of the show was taken up by re-doing a challenge from the UK series; playing tag with an attack chopper, ect. The whole thing really just feels off and completely unconnected. It just, doesn't work at all. like they gave away the respect and unbiased coverage to pander to the advertisement people.

But then, what do I know? lol American TV'll ruin something, but not know when it should call it a day on certain things...

This'll give you an idea of what I'm talking about...

Top Gear USA Clip #2: Lamborghini Comparison

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BC

Being Human (US Series)

2011-01-26T00:10:00.000-05:00

Being Human (US Series):

Sam Huntington Is Still A Worthless Pile

And Other Watered Down Drivel Aimed At Twi-hards

As many of you long time readers know, I am a rather large fan of the British sci fi series "Being Human", its well written, well acted and cast, and is just the greatest sci fi series out there right now, well aside from Doctor Who ofcourse, but as long time readers and friends of mine will tell you, for me The Doctor is in a class all of his own and can't be counted among the teaming masses. Anyway, after spending two years in complete and utter nerdlust with the original, word comes out that recently renamed american network SyFy (ugh...) would, as its first original series under its new name and concept, remake the British series for american viewers, because, you know, SyFy'll be damned if BBC America makes that sweet sweet cash from all those fans of vampires, ghosts, werewolves, and whatever other things everyone in the world knows Stephenie Meyer created with the Twilight books and films.

I have to admit when I first heard word of this, I cringed, and then cried, honestly, we Americans can make a fine good show on our own, SyFy has afew rather good ones themselves infact; Warehouse 13, Eureka, ect. But when it comes to America remaking a series from another country, it just doesn't really work out all that well. Sure The Office was a hit and the Showtime version of Shameless (will be writing about this later this week) is showing alot of promise, as were some classic shows like All In The Family and Three's Company to name just two, but well, the diamonds are few and far between when you're standing in a pile of coal (A point I'll expand on later this week when I write about Top Gear USA, its kind of US Remake Week here!).

Its hard to really pin down exactly what is the worst thing about this show, because there are many things wrong honestly. The writing is completely rushed, they were trying to cram bits from atleast four episodes worth of the original series into one pilot episode, it felt confused and rushed and sort of sloppily put together, almost as if the writers have no idea at all what they were writing about or maybe even didn't care about it enough to make an attempt. The characters names are all completely different, and only have vague likeness to their counterparts, this problem spills into the extended cast as well, or in the case of one character completely made up, its confusing, offputting and just plain depressing.. here let me show you what I mean, here is the character list...

Sally Andrews (Meaghan Rath) is an insecure ghost who haunts the house she and her fiancé lived in while she was alive, and is unwilling to leave it. Sally appears in the clothes she was wearing when she died which change subtly depending on her state of mind. In the first episode, she is introduced as a very afraid ghost who doesn't trust herself to unlock the past with her ex-fiance.

This is their take on Annie Sawyer, and instead of making her anything at all like Annie, other then her cloths and that she haunts the house, they decided to go the whole 1991 movie Ghost route, you know, because they're completely out of ideas otherwise. Interestingly, they state that Sally has been living in the house with them for awhile before they actually see her, which makes no sense given that its explained afew minutes later that vampires, werewolves, ghosts and other supernaturals can see and sense each other. It was a giant plothole that makes me wonder if it wasn't a case of "oh wiat, we gotta put this in there.. its in the original.." and just shoehorning something in. Its still a glaringly annoying plothole that yells at you in a booming voice that echoes from the endless depths of hell itself.

Joshua "Josh" Radcliff (Sam Huntington) is a nerdy, paranoid hospital worker who suffers from being a werewolf every full moon. Once twilight comes around, he begins to act funny. In the first episode, it is revealed that he chose to leave his family because of his situation, having disappeared for 2 years. One night when his sister, Emily, having finally discovered him, followed him downstairs in the hospital, where she witnessed the secret he hid for such a long time and the reason why he left. Aidan and Sally were called and Josh asks them to help his sister get out before he fully transforms and kills her.

The fact that Josh is played by horrible waist of skin Sam Huntington, whom not only is a worthless person, but seems to be the kiss of death to both movies and television series he seems to be on, which probably won't work well for the series as it is. But more so then that, Josh is a horriblely flawed character, he lacks any of the charm and likeability of George Sands, the character he is supposed to be the american take on. He is devoid of real personality, Josh is nervous and worries and depressive, but thats it, there is no hint of the intelligence and geekness and more importantly, the actually looking kind of like a werewolf, George actually looks like he could be a werewolf, Josh just looks like the douchebag at the comic shop that just dropped $500 on Magic: The Gathering cards, even though no one's played that game for over 10 years, and you find yourself caring about him even less then you would a guy like that. Also, George never had a gay sister, I have a feeling they tossed her in instead of Nina because some idiot said a budget wouldn't allow for two werewolf transformations, the same reason I'm sure there won't be much Sally ghosty stuff.

Ian Daniel "Aidan" McCollin (Sam Witwer) is a quiet, calm vampire who is over 200 years old and presently works as a nurse in Boston. He is best friends with Josh, who always encourages him to live as a normal person. When he meets Rebbecca, a coworker, he is tempted to bite and drink her blood. He accidentally killed Rebecca, and did his best to cover up the event by calling a morgue run by a fellow vampire.

Apparently he's called Aidan as a send up to Aidan Turner, the man that plays John Mitchell in the original Being Human, however there is no explanation that his name is anything other then Aidan, he's simply just called it for some reason, and honestly unless you read the profiles or the wiki, you'd never have a clue that his name is actually Ian. You would also have no real idea that the show is now set in Boston if not for his profile as well. Aidan falls into the category of being just tossed together with no real idea what is going on with him. As I had feared, Aidan is complete and utter pandering to the twilight fans out there, with him looking like a mix of Robert Pattinson and professional wrestler Randy Orton, with a stare thats completely devoid of anything remotely close to emotion, or even anything hinting at cognitive thought. Its almost painful to watch him honestly. Especially when he's talking to the other vampires in these confusing shady conversations that really don't do anything but lead up to more confusion and WTF-ness.

The characters don't even really touch the tip of the iceberg of whats wrong with this show, its just so disjointed and confused and rushed, its a mess from start to end, even if there are some small glimmers of possible hope that shine through at times, it doesn't make up for the massive amount wrong. The premise has been changed, the idea is just so contorted and twisted and stretched from what its supposed to be that its almost just a vague afterthought. Its pretty depressing honestly given the premise that this show had. But sadly, it just did what many other shows in the same vain have done, fallen into the same pit as the rest. Truly depressing really.

Here is the promo trailer...

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BC

The Fighter

2011-01-23T19:02:00.000-05:00

The Fighter:

A Very Special Review For Me

I've been blessed enough to have been around film my whole life, what started as a continuing tradition of every Saturday and Sunday my grandfather, Uncle George and my father all taking me to the movies, and teaching me about how amazing cinema can be, to spending my teenage years making stop motion movies with my transformers and G.I Joes, truly believing I was the next Akira Kurosawa, James Whale, or Alfred Hitchcock, my teenage years is when I started to review films as well, and to this day, I've even been an extra in afew, mostly crowd scenes, because, well where are you gonna hide an almost 7 foot guy built like a train that can transform into a shuttle as well as transform into a robot? One of these such films was 2010's The Fighter, shot in my home town of Lowell Massachusetts, and filmed in the area of the city I was raised in. But thats not why I called this film a special review. I called it a special review because the film is about a friend of not only my mother, but my uncle Brian, and about two brothers whom I have met personally. So it kind of hits home alittle for me. So if you would all be so kind, please allow me to give you my review of a brilliant film, about two amazing people whom my family is proud to know.

The Fighter tells the story of Dicky Eklund and his half brother Micky Ward. Both strong working class irishmen from a working class irish family, and both talented boxers. The film follows Dick and Micky growing up, and how boxing is a traditional irish immigrant thing and how it instills pride in them and their families, all of that stuff. It continues to follow them as they grow, they follow Dicky's career as he raises in the boxing ranks, its rise, and his fall and addiction to Crack Cocaine, it even follows part of the documentary that Dicky was in back in the 1990s called "High On Crack Street" which follows his decent, the whole time, Micky is growing into a boxer in his own right, in the shadow of all thats going on with his older brother, and how it eventually brings Dicky back from the life of addiction. Its a story of family love overcoming all, and how two brothers can find the strength to overcome all just to be better people, and to make their family, and their city proud.

Having followed the production, and with family members knowing both Dick and Micky, I found myself happily seeing things I remember being told about, and even some of the people I know on screen, the film not only went out of its way to film in the city using real locations, but when possible used the real people, like Micky's trainer Mickey O'Keefe, who plays himself after Mark Wahlberg met him and convinced him that he could play himself because acting is just like his day job of being a police officer, where you have to think on your feet and show no fear in what you're doing. The film also doesn't go the easy route and glorify Dicky's years addicted to crack, nor does it really focus much on the documentary of which he's a part, even though he is the only one left alive from it, instead focusing on the story of the two brothers, and how they effect each other, which i feel is a better idea, sometimes how a person gets to a place in life isn't as important or interesting as how they find their way back. The film also lovingly puts the city of Lowell Mass. on display as well, if they needed to work on a certain street, they worked on that street, or used a house, or building, its almost like the city is a secondary character, highlighting most of the local plots of interest and note. Both Mickey and Dick made sure of this as they were consultants on the film who made sure they had final say on most things.

Their influence in the filming of their life story shows mostly in their casting as much as their locational detail. Mark Wahlberg , Christian Bale, and Amy Adams have all stated that the hardest part of their prep for the film was to spend months with the person they're playing so they could get everything about them exact, apparently the whole cast for the Ward/Eklund Family had to spend months with the family as a whole and separately learning just how to mimic them, their movements, their way of talking, all of it, to get the truest feel that you're watching a real family, instead of actors trying to be a family. Something I rather found innovative and different, and rather refreshing. But when your movie is really about a family, you would expect that. Atleast I would hope you would.

So now comes the big question, should you go and see it? Well ofcourse you should, its a brilliant film with a really good story, and for once a real happy ending, not a changed to make it seem happy ending, or some other thing or another. You truly feel like you're part of Dick and Micky's life, like you're watching it all fold out right there and you're in the film, its great. I found myself more drawn in, having heard stories about the two of them from my mom and my uncle Brian, though they grew up with Dick and remember Micky as a child, maybe that clouded my judgment a small amount, but I don't think so. I don't really see anyone that wouldn't enjoy this film, well unless all you want is boobs and explosions, then well, you're shit out of luck, but otherwise, by all means, take sometime and go see this film, you will enjoy it.

Before I give you the trailer, I'd like to take a second and give you another link, if you would like to see the documentary which real life Dicky was a part of, you can find it at the following link "High On Crack Street: Lost Lives In Lowell" (<- thats the link!) if you haven't seen it, you can watch it there for free.

Ok now, here is the trailer for The Fighter....

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BC

Black Swan

2011-01-23T03:59:00.000-05:00

Black Swan:

Amazingly, Not A Blaxploitation Version Of Swan Lake

Even Though I Would Love To See That.

Every now and then there comes a film that catches me by surprise, what I would expect to be a boring, possibly well shot but nothing else, diatribe on something or another, turns out to be amazing, and it hits me in the head like a battery being tossed at a Boston Red Sox outside of Yankee Stadium. I went into The Black Swan expecting some overacted, over typed, trying way to hard to be visual and artistic pile of bovine excrement, but instead, what I got was a brilliant, chilling and haunting story that harkens back to one of the greatest thrillers of all time, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, just replace the children, with ballet, and you've got the basic idea of what this film is trying to be, and the story its trying to tell you, and though yes, we've all heard this story millions of times by now in millions of other films, somehow, maybe because it was shot and directed by the same guy that did The Wrestler, another film we've seen a million times over, but somehow could not stop raving about after we all saw it, there is just some magical enchanting charm to this film, maybe its the twisted darkness, maybe its the stunning beauty of the dance work, each person will tell you differently, and I gotta tell you, for a film, thats incredible, because it shows just how broad of a viewership it has, and just how amazing it is.

The film's plot is pretty simple on the surface but gets more complex when you look below the surface, centering around a lavish production of Swan Lake and the compition to replace a hurt lead dancer as both the White and Black Swan Queen in the production, and how it spirals from a simple choice of a troupe favorite whom everyone loves, into a complicated and complex mental game where a newcomver tries everything to take the role, even trying to become the very person she's up against. Its a brilliant and at times shocking look at just how far a dancer is willing to go for a starring role. Ofcourse not all dancers in the world are this way, but you get the idea, its like any other kind of story like this, regardless of the type of job the setting is. But don't let that take away from your enjoyment or viewing of the film, its really something to see. The dancing is first rate, the visuals are surreal and at times striking and moving, and ofcourse the acting is truly at times awe inspiring, its really no wonder this film is expected to clean up at the awards shows this February, it would be truly deserving of its awards and praise, a feat that is very rare these days.

What truly stuck me about this film, is, as I mentioned earlier when stating that its made by the same person that made The Wrestler, it doesn't really matter that I've seen this same story played out nearly 15 times in the last 20 years, i still find myself wanting more, and even though my logical mind is telling me what is going to happen, I still am shocked when I see it unfold. Thats truly a feat, to make me not care that I'm fully aware of whats going to happen, and love every second of it happening, its the sign of a good storyteller, you can tell the same story over and over, but its HOW you tell the story, that matters over the story that you tell. You could write a story about a little red car going beep beep beep as it drives merrily down the street to the airport to get its friend Jason who was on vacation, and thats great, but if you were to act out the story with like a transformer or a hotwheels car, that'd make it just awesome. The same concept applies here, sure we know the girl thats trying to steal the lead is gonna go insane, sure we know she's gonna try and replace the good girl we all want to be the Swan Queen, thats just what happens in movies like this, but that doesn't matter to us. We just care about how the story is told, and honestly, this one is told in such a brilliant and stunning way, that even if you didn't care for how it would unfold, you could be entertained by the visuals, and the dancing, some really amazing dancing. Even if it is Swan Lake.

So the big question, should you go to see it? Ofcourse you should! What self respecting fan of art house cinema wouldn't? You know, unless you aren't self respecting or a fan of art house cinema, then I guess you could go see Little Fockers, or Yogi Bear or some other horrible bomb or another instead, its your call. But if you're a lover of art films, or visually striking films, or believe there is far too little films about Ballerinas (both from argentina and the rest of the world), then you should give Black Swan a look, you won't forget or regret it.

Also for fun and giggles, here is the trailer...

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BC

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

2011-01-18T16:33:00.000-05:00

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World:

The Ultimate In Geeksploitation

Its always been a staple of hollywood to make films aimed at certain cultures, anyone thats at all familiar with Grindhouse can think of atleast 15 cultures that were pandered too at any given time, and though the golden age of grindhouse is gone, its idea of making films aimed at certain groups remains, and is enough to list this film as modern grindhouse. If you haven't known Scott Pilgrim is aimed solely at the geeks of the world, much like the graphic novel series it was based on. Geeks, as a whole, or atleast in the way Scott Pilgrim crosses genres, have never really been pandered too, oh sure each group'll get their movies, but geekdom as a whole? Never been done, until now. And though its kind of risky waters to tread, I find that just like the graphic novels themselves, the film treads them fearlessly and effortlessly, and also adds a whole new level to it with its audio and visual that was not able to be done in drawn form. I will however admit, for all the good and incredible geekwank that this film is, if you aren't a fan of comic books, video games, anime, and indie music, then chances are you won't really like Scott Pilgrim all that much because you'll find it hard to follow and a tad on the insanely ludicrous side. But if you're all about one or all of those things, then by all means, you gotta see it.

The film tells the story of socially awkward Scott Pilgrim, a guy in his early 20s, living in Toronto Canada and playing in his band "Sex Bob-omb", a play on the term "sex bomb" and the super mario bros. creature Bob-Ombs, he lives in an a basement across the street from the house he grew up in, which he shares with a gay friend who often has random men over, at the start of the film Scott is dating a 15 year old asian catholic school girl named Knives Chou, as a means of getting over his last girlfriend, one who broke his heart when she left him for the drummer in her new band, which happens to have gone on to be come internationally famous. Things are ok, even if abit stressful and annoyingly problematic at times for Scott and his bands, his girlfriend is their official groupie, and they're all set to enter a battle of the bands that'll lead to a huge record contract for the band. This is when Scott meets a girl named Ramona Flowers, a girl he says he's been dreaming about for a long time, and thats when everything changes. Scott sets about meeting and trying to date Ramona, even if he's forgotten to tell Knives they were split before he did so.

Not long after Scott and Ramona begin their relationship, before he tells knives its over infact, Scott gets an email from a guy named Matthew Patel, declaring that they will soon meet and fight, for he and "The League Of Evil Ex's" who are a unified group of Ex's of one Ramona Flowers, who as you are now aware, is Scott's new girlfriend. Scott skims through the email and doesn't actually read it, and instead of knowing what is to come, he continues about his day and gets ready for the first round of the Toronto Battle Of The Bands. At the climax of the performance of Sex Bob-Omb, Mathew Patel, in true geek fantasy fashion, flies through the ceiling like a Dragonball Z villain and demands that he and Scott fight, after being furious that Scott didn't bother to read the email, and angry explaining that he looks like a pirate because pirates are in this year, the fight begins, and in true geek fashion, the fight becomes something out of Street Fighter, or some other fighting style video game. From this point on, the movie becomes sort of like you're watching the cinematic to a video game, where you get through each level, you fight an end boss, and Ramona gives you incite into who they are and possibly how to defeat them before each fight, and with small mini-cinematic scenes between each level, it really gets fun the farther it goes.

The film is built on the concept of following the pattern of a video game, each Ex is more powerful then the one before, and you must progress to them by completing s task or a level of some kind or another, each of the League Of Evil Ex's has their own way of fighting and their own special powers that range from mystics, speed, teleportation, veganism, sonic manipulation, and mind control. And yes, read that right, one of them's super power is being a vegan, simply because vegans are better then all of us. Scott has to fight them all, using various special powers that he gains to help him fight against each of the Ex's, on the way to the leader of the League, Gideon Graves, with the final battle taking place in a nightclub he's created called The Chaos Theater, with all the climaxes and sub-boss fights you would expect at the end of a video game where you need to punch and skullcrack your way to the end. Its a total out and out geekfest, and its brilliant because of it! Seriously, the reason I'm being so vague and not going into plot details it because it would be impossible to cram in all the geekish references and homages in this film, its just amazing beyond belief. But you expect that from something thats basically a 22 year old loser LARPing River City Ransom. (Anyone thats played River City Ransom will get the reason I referenced it by the second to last "boss fight" of the film lol)

I do think that maybe this film falls into the same pitfalls that other movies aimed at the geek culture and refuse to broaden their scope so that a larger audiance could be accepting, the simple fact that if you don't know what the references or homages are, you simply won't get the film. After all, if you don't know why all the guys Scott punches turn to coins, then how is that gonna be funny to you? Its that fact that I sadly think is why this film didn't do well at the box office, it disappeared alot faster then anyone had expected it too, and I do believe its because it just was too geek for those who are not of that culture. That doesn't make it a bad film by any means, it makes it a really good one infact, but it just doesn't make it something the masses are going to go and see, its kind of like how Shortbus wasn't really liked outside of the gay community, even though its an incredible film, or how alot of the movies aimed at hip hop culture don't really do well outside of that grouping either, it doesn't mean its bad because of the lack of cash it grossed, it just means it'll do better in the home market sales. And as anyone can tell you, thats what its doing at this point, already Amazon.com's number one selling blu ray of all time, and really raking in the cash in in store sales too. Sometimes thats just how a film works, infact if it wasn't for Micheal "I'm Awkward In Everything I Do" Cera starring in the film, it probably would have gone direct to DVD/Blu Ray in the first place where it would have become a giant cult hit, much like 2009's Black Dynamite, but again, such is the nature of the beast that is hollywood.

Now for the big question, do I think you should see this movie? Well, if you're a geek, are turned on by geeks, or know a geek, or wish to understand the nature of those that inhabit the shires, glens, grottoes, thickets and hollers of the Geek Forest, then by all means, get thee to thy shopkeep of choice and get a copy of the film, or you know, get thee to yonder red box or netflix and watch it that way too, you know whatever works for ye. You most assuredly won't regret it. But, if you're not a geek, have never read a comic book, or seen an anime, or never played a video game that was either a fighting game or a quest style video game, or even one of those ones with the dance pad, then avoid this film like the plague, because chances are, you probably won't really get it sadly. Though you might like the visuals, there is alot of visual goodness involved as well... so who knows?

anyway, here is the trailer...

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BC

In Praise Of Ann Margret

2011-01-04T19:07:00.000-05:00

In Praise Of Ann Margret:

Original Milfster

Long before there was ever an Angelina Jolie, or Megan Fox or whoever else who the basement dwelling nerds are photoshopping onto the bodies of porn actresses these days, there was a shining gem of hotness who even the dinosaurs were in awe of, I'm speaking ofcourse of Ann Margret. For ever 40 years this woman has been the definition of all american beauty, and still going... just amazing really.. as you can see here..

original cougar...

entertaining the troops with the uso in Vietnam..

All these younger think they're so hot actresses and singers should take some notes from Ann and her career, learn what its like to truly give as much to the fans as you get back from them. Respect for respect, love for love, thats how fame should work.. also, WTF go do a USO show once in awhile, and don't use the "its a warzone" bullshit, world war 2, 'Nam, all had A-Listers supporting the troops, whats all of your excuses?

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The Best And Worst Of Saturday Mornings Pt. 2

2010-12-26T18:11:00.002-05:00

Trips In The WayBack Machine # 2-A

The Best Of Saturday Morning Programing

Continued from The Worst List

Last time was the worst of Saturday mornings, this time, its the best, so with out any large explanation, where we go, right into the 10 best things to ever air on a Saturday morning. I should state though, I keep stating Saturday morning for a reason, I figured it best to exclude first run syndication stuff like Transformers, G.I Joe and the like because if i didn't, I wouldn't give the true feeling of Saturday Morning, and I feel I'd be cheating all of you, and sadly though, as it omits alot of the awesomeness of the 1980s weekday afternoon fodder, it also negates shows like Johnny Quest, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Space Ghost and many others which were originally aired in primetime slots.

Ok with that said, here we go....

The 10 Best Saturday Morning Programs Of All Time:

10. Adventures of the Gummi Bears

Let it be known far and wide, that this one would have made the top 10 simply for the theme song alone, but believe me, there was alot more to it then just an incredible and infectious theme song. Gummi Bears was proof that when Disney thought outside of its box, they could not only create something that was visually beautiful and strikingly pleasing in traditional Disney animation style, but also something with a rich, deep and intricate plot. Gummi Bears was an experiment of sorts, an experiment in breaking from the Disney chain and starting new ground for the company, a test that would later see not only a long and beloved run for The Gummi Bears, but would later give birth to Disney greats such as Ducktales, Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers, Tailspin, the often forgotten but amazing Darkwing Duck, and ofcourse, Gargoyles, the greatest Disney animation ever created. Yes, even better then Kim Possible. But Gummi Bears on its own was an incredibly good story, sort of midevil steampunk in a way with an incredible backstory that was always being added too, and not once in the shows run had it felt tired and used up after a short time, which happens alot in saturday morning programs, oddly though, Disney has done very little in terms of marketing merchandise, even to this day, its kind of like Gargoyles in that respect, insanely beloved, but never really acknowledged or shown love by the parent company for some unknown reason. Shame really.

9. Mission Magic

Made as a spin off of sorts to the horrible cartoon about the kids from The Brady Bunch as a pop band with magic powers, Mission Magic starred then unknown in America Rick Springfield, who was sort of a teen heartthrob in his native australia in 1973, but it really had nothing to do with The Brady Kids other then that it was musical and solved mysteries with magic. However unlike The Brady Kids, Mission Magic stands out for many reasons, for the time period the animation was incredible, in the time when Hanna Barbara was pushing the music and animation drug trip angle with almost every cartoon they made, Mission Magic took more of a Yellow Submarine style approach to it, high end art with the perfect colors for the mood and expression, it was at times incredibly beautiful to look at, even if you didn't care much for the show itself, plus, alot of the songs are pretty pleasing to the ears and are a joy to listen too for a look at. Mission Magic, though a total drug trip of sorts based around Miss Tickle, a magical teacher who's classroom you entered through a drawn door in a magic chalkboard, and could also enter our world where she would use her magic to teach through adventures of various kinds. And if you are thinking that sounds familiar, or if Miss Tickle looks familiar to you, then you're right, she does, the show was remade in the 1990s as The Magic Schoolbus, with Lily Tomlin as Miss Frizzle, an almost exact copy of Miss Tickle in personality and looks, just with a magical schoolbus instead of being inside of being inside a door drawn in the land of chalk drawings. If you know where to look, you can find the series on DVD, its really worth a watch if you'd like a nice trip back in time to a simpler time, long before Rick Springfield wished that he had Jessie's Girl or took that job at General Hospital.

8. The Jackson Five

For whatever reason in the 1970s, every single cartoon was about a band, normally a band that solved mysteries or were superheroes on the side, so the logical step was to take a band that the kids love, and give them a cartoon where they basically goof about and have fun. The Jackson Five wasn't really about anything other then the band getting into wacky and goofy adventures that lead to comical outcomes and mixed in with musical numbers sung by the band. Like most other shows of its kind, the real band voiced their own characters, and had a hand in designing the look and movements and the like. The Jackson Five to this day is harolded as possibly one of the greatest cartoons of its era because it really was a hit with everyone, it didn't matter where you were from, you knew who the Jackson Five was, and you knew they had a cartoon, it successes where dreck like Rickity Rocket and Street Frogs fail horribly, which given the political and racial climate in the world at the time, was an incredible feat, Micheal himself said many times that the most fun he had was becoming an animated character. The show has now gained a giant cult following, specially after Micheal's death when two whole new generations were introduced to this lovely masterpiece. If you've not seen it, go have a look. :)

7. Sigmund And The Sea Monsters

When I was a child, my parents sat me down infront of a television on a sunday morning, turned the dial, this was back when televisions had dials, to a local indie channel that went on to become one of the flagship FOX stations, and I remember them telling me to watch with them. For the next few hours my eyes were opened to the world of Sid and Marty Krofft, two brothers who were completely insane, but were able to make insanity profitable. The first of the shows they aired, and my personal favorite, was Sigmund And The Sea Monsters, starring the great Billy Barty as Sigmund, the cutest sea monster there has ever been. Sigmund was not interested in scaring humans like his family, Sigmund would rather be friendly and enjoy life, he saw no point is scaring humans just because "its what sea monsters do", Sigmund wanted to be is own Sea Monster, a kinder gentler Sea Monster who could suck at Volleyball and you wouldn't be scared to tell him, because he won't rip your arms off and beat you with them, because thats not how Sigmund rolled. This was my gateway drug into the trippy world of The Kroffts, and to this day, I still love it so very much. But anyone thats seen my Sigmund Action Figure, which sits next to my H.R Pufnstuf action figure can tell you I'm still a fan. Oddly though, I couldn't find video of "You better run you better hide" the second season ending theme.

6. Spiderman (1967)

I wanted to add atleast one superhero cartoon here, and though I could do many great ones that have been made over the years, I picked this one simply because it was marvel's first saturday morning attempt, and their second cartoon attempt over all, second to the super rare but also insanely cult 1966 Marvel Superheroes Show that aired weekday afternoons in a very small market, back when you could air shows in very small markets and be ok with it. Spiderman kind of sums up everything that would eventually follow with comic book based cartoons until the 1990s when everything became serious and no fun, Spiderman was as funny as it was serious, and it truly gave you the feel of the character, Spiderman is funny and serious at the same time, and actually enjoys his work, much like any of us would if we were suddenly given powers like this, plus the theme song, that lovely lovely theme song that just drips awesome all over the place. To farther explain my point of why this show was so great and worthy of a spot in the best, I'll give you this clip, possibly one of the greatest bits of 1960s animation ever...

Yeah thats some good old fashion awesome... I could watch that all day long.

5. Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales

I have said this many times, and I will continue to say it till the day that I die, everything that I learned about science, I learned from Phineas J. Whoopee and his marvelous 3.D.B.B (Three Dimensional Black Board), and it was all thanks to this amazing bit of early animation that still stacks up today among the all time greatest. When they talk of iconic television, they talk of characters that years later have become part of our every day culture, the things they say, the stuff they've done, their names, all of it, all iconic, Tennessee Tuxedo is sort of a textbook case of ironically iconic animation, its the goofy story of a penguin named Tennessee Tuxedo and his friend, the rare south pole walrus Chumley, they live in a zoo and as they strive to be seen on the same level as human beings, always doing some scheme or another that would get them recognition from humankind, the whole time annoying the hell out of Zoo director Stanley Livingston, and getting help from every mad scientist's idol, Prof. Phineas J. Whoopee, owner and creator of The 3D Blackboard or 3DBB, and sometimes they're either helped, or hindered by the other animals in the zoo as well. Its goofball comedy before goofball comedy had to be forced, like other shows from its time, Rocky and Bullwinkle, King Leonardo And His Short Subjects, all pretty much just out and out goofy comedy and various secondary characters, Tooter Turtle, The Hunter, and afew others are just as iconic as the main characters. Its pretty amazing really. If you've never been lucky enough to have seen this show, get to youtube yo.

4. Clutch Cargo

Is that not the coolest, wackest, most insane drug trip of a limited animation cartoon ever? Seriously this show is a god damn trip though time that you just don't wanna ever forget! Its some stone cold freak nasty yo. The concept of Clutch Cargo is basically Johnny Quest, but with out Benton Quest, so its just Clutch Cargo, middle aged muscular rugged adventurer, who lives alone with a young boy and a dog, and how they go on adventures all over the world and even the moon, its sort of like TinTin but with the racism taken out and a sort of creepy nambla feel to it all. Thats pretty much all there was to Clutch Cargo really, its a great little show that actually lasted almost 40 years in syndication, spanning from the late 1950s into the 1990s in some small television markets in the united states. Its more renounced for its insanely weird animation style, where the characters are more limited animation then Speed Racer, and the mouths are, well, the mouths are real mouths placed into the animation, a concept used many times over in various other forms of comedy based on obscure and silly concepts of filming and animation. Its not hard to find Clutch if you're looking for a good trip down trippy classic lane, the dvds aren't hard to come by and aren't expensive, get on that yo.

3. Fat Albert

Long ago in a time called the 1970s, long before he started to play a white man with 15 grandfathers that were all jazz legends, Bill Cosby had a whole other career, you see back then, Bill Cosby was funny, I mean really funny, but as I said, he eventually went on to play an old white guy in everything he did from the 80s onward. But in the 1970s, he created his greatest creation, even greater then The Chicken Heart, there was everyone's favorite overweight kid, Fat Albert. Fat Albert was an early attempt to make cartoons both fun and educational, an idea that went through out the series, goofball antics style comedy where in Bill Cosby would address the kids and tell them what the lesson learned by what they did that day was, normally it wasn't anything all that super important, just being nice to each other and stuff, but still it was memorable enough to stick with you. They also infused music and the message that as long as you could imagine something, it could be, oh and also, don't under estimate the fatties, cuz Fat Albert had skills for a kid that probably would lose his foot to diabetes by the final year of high school, and his friends have one heck of a way of working out the creation of instruments and stuff out of what they found in the junkyard, it was sort of like the Jackson Five with out it being about a real band in that respect, and the kids they just ate it up, they still do. Fat Albert has remained current and relevant for somewhere around 35 years, even if you exclude that horrible live action film from 2004, which really is best left forgotten, or burned in a fire, and then stabbed in the eye with a rusty fork. But if you would like a nice little bit of classic americana, then honestly, Fat Albert is it.

2. The Bugaloos

Long ago, in 1970 two brothers name Sid and Marty Krofft riding high off their monster pop culture creation H.R Puffstuf decided to see if lightening could strike twice, and taking a cue from the rise of teen idols in pop music among the non-woodstock set, decided to create their own multimedia crossover band, having made The Banana Splits for Hanna Barbara just before their own creation of the iconic Puffnstuf, and seeing how much the Splits were bringing in not only as a show, but as a legitimate band, no really if you ever get a chance check out a Banana Splits album "Till Tomorrow" is a forgotten jewel if I ever heard one, Sid and Marty wanted to get in on that sweet sweet cash, so they set about making up a band that could be on tv, and that kids could wanna go out to see a live show by. I'm sure you've seen this pattern repeat many a time on both this best and worst list, and there are tons of hits and misses in this area, but well, this had to be possibly the best. Deciding to take a page from The Monkee's playbook and playing on the Davey Jones popularity, Sid and Marty went about obtaining the services of a group of British teens who were young, easy to look at, and able to vocally harmonize convincingly enough to sell that they're a pop band, once that was done, they created The Bugaloos, a group of insects who are a pop band among the insects of the world, each episode focused on The Bugaloos, sometimes driving around in their odd as hell looking dunebuggy (I guess everyone in the 1970s drove dunebuggies everywhere from what shows like this and Hanna Barbara's stuff show), sometimes with their friend Sparky The Firefly, played by brilliant midget actor Billie Barty, who'd go on to be in every other Krofft creation sense, including starring as Sigmund The Sea Monster. And the whole time they'd be being thwarted by Benita Bizarre, played by the legend of the stage and screen Martha Raye, near the end of her life and career. The show was basically Josie And The Pussycats (both regular, and in space) meets A Bugs Life, and for all of its goofy surrealist offbeat humor, which was standard issue for Krofft Brothers work, The Bugaloos remains one of their most beloved and most popular, some could argue its just as popular as H.R PuffnStuf and Sigmund, their two most well known works. I would also note I put this show on the list over Puffnstuf simply because I've always found the whimsy of saturday morning was how you had shows like this, that were created with a stage show to follow in mind from the very start, where as shows like Puffnstuf had them tacked on later. Oh and for those wondering, if I was a Bugaloo, I'd be called Shadow and I'd be a Tarantula Hawk Wasp with dark wings, and I'd be a DJ or front a metal band.

1. The Wacky Races

Every now and then a company will strike gold, and not just gold as in one character or a show that has a timeless following, sometimes they'll strike gold with a show that will in itself become an iconic and beloved series, that will also spin off and serve as a prototype for many other shows to come. And for Saturday Morning Kings William Hanna and Joe Barbara, their first gold strike of what would become many, was a show called The Wacky Races, which not only created some of the most memoriable moments in Hanna Barbara's history, but would be the launching pad for classic characters either by name or formed from characters on the show, it would also lead to the genre of cartoons where you team up known and unknown characters and set them off on a task, you'd find it again in Laugh-a-lympics and Yogi's Space Race most notedly, given that most have forgotten the short lived Yogi's Treasure Hunt and Gumball 500 which to date were the last of the "Team up toons". Wacky Races was pretty simple in concept, a group of 11 cars do a cannonball run style wacky race or another, the whole time out smarting and pulling tricks on each other, as well as adding in jokes to what the narrator's saying, its all pretty goofy and silly, but thats what matters when you talk of the things that air in the saturday morning genres. Plus the show is important for afew reasons, all the cast when onto become someone else, or fame in their own right, Penelope Pitstop, The Ant Hill Mob and Dick Dastardly and Muttley all started out in The Wacky Races, and those The Ant Hill Mob and Penelope Pitstop, with afew alterations and change of the Bulletproof Bomb to Chuggaboom, would go on to be in their own brilliant series with the Paul Lynde voiced Hooded Claw, Dick Dastardly and Muttley would go on to have in their own right one of the most memorable shows of Hanna Barabara's library as well as become their most popular villains. The rest of the cast would be prototypes for others; The Slag Brothers would go on to be the design used for Captain Cavemen, The Gruesome Twosome would go onto Laugh-a-lympics, Professor Pat Pending would be Hanna Barbara's design for Prof. Keenbean on Richie Rich, and the others would show up now and then. What makes this show some memorable though is that for over 40 years now, its been loved and homaged many times over in various tv shows, you can find references even in today's modern cartoons, its pretty great really, and if you haven't seen it, you really should, you won't regret it.

well thats my list.... I hope you enjoy both halves of it...

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BC