Dark Shadows

Dark Shadows:

...Remember That Trainwreck At The Start Of Super 8?

Yeah, Its Like That.. Kinda... A Trainwreck I Mean

I know alot of people are out there curiously waiting for my review of this film, its arguably the third most questions I get in my emails after questions about The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rising, this one just slightly edges ahead of questions about The Amazing Spiderman. And I guess that is rightly so given the screen name I have chosen to avail myself of in this vast wasteland we call the internet. Many a day have I had to answer the normal dregs "Do you think it will be great?", "Are you looking forward to it?", "do you like John Depp in the main role?", ect..  all these repeating questions, and now I can finally answer them, though I doubt if what I have to say will make alot of you out there happy. Because honestly, this film, as great as it could have been, is flawed, and I don't mean one little scratch under a caster that doesn't ruin the value, I'm talking it needs a full on repair job to fix the giant crack in it. Now I know afew of you out there will believe I am writing this in a negative light simply because I have been on record as disliking the way they've made Johnny Depp look as a vampire, and though I admit, that slightly bothered me, it was the smallest of the cracks in this rose colored stain glass window, and I am not exaggerating at all when I say that. Not one bit, though in all honesty, I wish I was, I wish I could just cover my ears and my eyes and imagine what I saw on the screen really wasn't what was given to life long fans of the first ever sci fi soap opera in hopes the cameo by the four surviving cast members of the original show (now three after John Frid died recently after making the group cameo), and not care about the rest, but the problem with that is, the rest is, well, at some points pretty bad, but at other moments pretty good, and yes before you feel the need to try and damn me for "not getting the humor" yes I am aware this is a spoof using the darkest of humor, and though many of the highlights are taken from it being in that vain, it still has so much more that it has to live up too, and so much more that it failed to do so on.

See the problem with this film isn't really the film's fault, its well shot and well acted, the real problem, as often is in cases of this nature, with in the script. See, they try to cram as much Dark Shadows related references and jokes about the goofy nature of what was once seen as high end sci fi into what should have been a better well thought out and well written plot, instead of what seemed like a half assed idea that was tossed together by people that had only seen maybe 10 minutes of the 1991 reboot of the series, and didn't bother research the rest. Its actually almost insulting how little of a story this film really tells, and how flimsy the little bit we do have is. The actual plot, if you could call it that is not only a story of how Barnabas Collins was cursed to be a vampire by the witch Angelique, who then had him locked in a box and buried, or a story of how by 1972 the Collins family had pretty much become all but died out, and barely able to afford to keep Collinwood and their family business, the Collinsport Fish Cannery open for business, thanks to rival company Angel Bay, which just happens to be across the warf from them, and how it all somehow ends up in a third act thats all fire and supernatural powers a go-go till the very end. Infact it doesn't even actually give you the implications that anyone besides Barnabas and Angelique has any kind of super natural powers until the third act, and even then they seem tacked on in a sort of "meh we've fucked it up this far along, we might as well fuck it up some more and go for broke.." like manner. Its seriously confusing and comes off really insulting to the viewer, almost as if there was ment to be alot more in the film but it ended up on an editing room floor, or atleast you hope there was such an incident of that happening, otherwise you're gonna get really pissed off really fast, like, really fast.

Now don't get me wrong, there is alot lacking here, but, its a case of whats wrong is very wrong, but whats right is very right, like I found myself laughing outloud at all of the times they make fun of common tropes in every vampire movie and television show sense Dark Shadows, I even laughed outloud at the conversation that was lifted directly from Twilight of all films, infact alot of the humor in the film is what actually kept me from taking a nap through the second half of the film, well that and how well the cast tries to make it work with how little they have in respect to actual story or plot, because they do infact really give it their all, and can at times be rather entertaining in their own ways, its both comical and kind of painful at times to watch them try and do their best, even if in all fairness, 90% of the film is just Barnabas and Angelique yelling insults and flirts at each other in what basically comes down to a supernaturally enhanced episode of Moonlighting, and yes if you don't get that reference, I am inside crying for your very soul.

I guess my major issue with the film is just how little was done with such a rich history and a plethora of characters, infact half of the characters that made up the bulk of the cast at any given time were missing. By my count, of all the characters they had to pluck from, they only literally used a handful. Its almost as if Depp or whoever was incharge of final agreement on the script had no clue who half of the cast was! Seriously, its like they didn't even bother to wikipedia up a character manifest or something, they just randomly tossed together 4 Collins family members to be family to Barnabas and could give a damn about the rest of the cast. Where was Reverend Trask? You have a film where the loosely tossed together plot is basically a 200+ year lover's spat between a vampire and a witch, who spend 90% of the film just tossing insults at each other, as they basically destroy half of a small town in Maine, and you miss the opportunity to have a bat shit crazy hellfire and brimestone preacher like Trask somewhere in the mix? Seriously? A vampire starts ripping its way through random people in town and it doesn't get the attention of local occult studies and history teacher and town historian T. Elliot Stokes? Really? Also to the point of Stokes, how doesn't he notice that EVERY woman in Angelique's family looks exactly alike, nor does he question how in the 1700s a woman could start and own a business? Nor does the film really even touch on the history of the Collins family, they just imply there are dark things in the family and its past, only really mention Barnabas as past ones, but never really going into any detail, nor do they really explain the whole set up to the third act other then the constant bitching between Barnabas and Angelique, I don't mean to lightly spoil here, but if you go and watch the film, keep this in mind, at the start of the final act of the film, when you find out an interesting reveal about Victoria Winters, followed by Angelique dropping what might be the coolest sounding fire spell ever written, and the Collins Cannery is set ablaze, NOTHING makes any sense. None of the characters that display powers at this point are even hinted at in the rest of the film to have any kind of powers, after all, why would they have such a hard time believing that Barnabas is a vampire if they all have these abilities of their own? It seriously doesn't make any sense at all, the actual end of the film doesn't fully make sense either, I honestly feel it was just slapped together lazily.

So the big question, should you go and see this film, honestly, I'm not truly sure. Part of me says go and see it, you'll get a good laugh out of the insults volleyed about between the two main roles, and the great Jackie Earl Haley does a pretty fun job as Barnabas' earstwhile henchman Willie Loomas, and there are a great deal of laugh outloud moments, Barnabas reciting Steve Miller's "The Joker" while staring into a lava lamp, and the scene where he murders a group of hippies that most have seen in the previews are both pretty funny to, as is his confusion of the not time period correct McDonald's sign and the car when he first comes out of the coffin in 1972. But the other part of me is saying to run like the wind, as far as you can from it, for unless you've no idea of the history of the show or the characters there in, you'll be most upset and most annoyed by what exactly was done to this by a "life long fan" like Johnny Depp claims he is, though how a "life long fan" could let this happen I've no idea. So I guess the final real choice on the matter is, to make your own choice, maybe wait until it hits netflix or Red Box or one of the movie channels before bothering with it, so you don't have to worry about putting out any money for this movie that tries so hard to be so much more then it truly is, but in the end, and regretfully, fails horrible at its mission.

Well, if you haven't seen it yet, or are still interested, here is the trailer....



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BC

Saying Good Bye To A True Legend: Jonathan Frid

Saying Good Bye To A True Legend:

Jonathan Frid of Dark Shadows

On April 13th, 2012, a Friday the thirteenth for those wondering, the world quietly lost one of its truly great actors, and one of its truly great people, for you see this was the day the great Jonathan Frid, star of stage and screen, passed away of natural causes in a hospital room in Hamilton Ontario Canada, his hometown, only afew months after filming his last role, a cameo in the soon to be released Dark Shadows, a film ment to be a darkly comedic but still horrific take on the television series in which Frid first came to fame playing the role of vampire, and saver of the series from cancellation, Barnabas Collins, a vampire who was freed from his crypt by a grave robber looking to loot his tomb, this would be the third and final time Frid would do such a cameo as a nod to the original series, Frid appeared in the 1991 Dark Shadows revival series, as well as the failed 2004 pilot for a relaunch series as-well, in all three cases he appears as an old man who converses with one of the key members of the new cast for only afew brief moments. But i'll get more into Dark Shadows and the mark it and Frid left in abit, but first i'd like to give you a short history of the man himself.

 

Jon grew up in Hamilton Ontario Canada, were he lived until he went to serve in the Royal Canadian Navy during World War 2, after which he returned home to Hamilton and went to university, until he was accepted to the royal academy of dramatic arts in London, England. From there Jon moved to London to study and work, and after graduating from there, he would move to New Haven Conn. where he would continue to learn and study, and eventually get a degree in directing from the Yale School of Drama, it was on his work there, that he started to use the stage name Jonathan Frid instead of his real name John H. Frid. During this time Jon also spent alot of time helping to start the Williamstown Theater in Williamstown Massachusetts, he would stay in the until 1962, when he would move to new york and continue his stage work, in 1966 while doing this, he would get a call, while preparing to move to the west coast to teach acting that Jon would get a call that changed his life, figuring it would be a short gig that would give him the extra money he needed to move and have abit saved up, he was informed he had been picked to play a enigmatic character named Barnabas Collins on a new to the air and struggling day time soap opera called Dark Shadows. This would be the call that changed Jon's life forever. Jon was amazed at how his arrival on the series not only saved it from cancellation but made him a household name almost overnight, Jon scrapped his plans to teach acting and stayed in new york through out the run of Dark Shadows, where he would take stage acting work when he wasn't filming for the series, sometimes juggling both stage and television work if the stage work was good enough.

After his time in the spotlight was over, Jon would travel mostly between both coasts and Hamilton Ontario, doing stage work and one man plays, until he officially retiring in 1994, returning back home to Hamilton for good, where he would entrench himself in the theater scene and produce, direct, and sometimes if he felt the need to do so, star in many a local production or self written one man plays. This is where Jon would spend the rest of his days until his health was to bad for him to continue to preform, though he delighted in being recognized for either his short career in the limelight, or for his acting around Hamilton. He, unlike many "classically trained actors" who took rolls on television, Jon never turned his back on his most noted role, he often would say some of the best time of his life was playing the vampire who defined television vampires until Buffy would redux the archetype in the late 1990s, he never missed the yearly Dark Shadows Festival in his last few years alive, and between 2008 to 2010 he would return to the character of Barnabas Collins in a series of Dark Shadows audio books, which reunited most of the still living original cast, and would keep the living members of the old show's cast closer knit then they were before their return to working together, and they would stay this way even in Frid's death. Frid died of natural causes in a Hamilton hospital on April 14th, 2012, he was surrounded by family and loved ones when he died, he was 87.

Now, this is is sad on its own, when a true legend and a humble man dies, but Jon's passing, much like Jim Henson's or Maila Nurmi's, hits a note with me, you see, among my prized belongings were two letters written by hand from Jon Frid to me personally, along with afew signed bits of memorabilia, all signed to me from Jon himself. Jon was asked to write and sign those things for me by cast member Laura Parker, whom I had the honor of meeting and interviewing about her offshoot of the Dark Shadows books called "The Salem Branch" which starred her iconic character, the beautiful witch Angelique. She and I had become friendly and after hearing my Dark Shadows related stories, and connection to the show, and how I got the nickname of Barnabus Collins, she mentioned she was going to see the soon to be final one man stage show and offered to not only get afew things signed for me from the surviving cast, but also afew things by Frid himself, I was elated beyond words, and afew weeks later, when a package arrived from Hamilton Ontario I was awe stuck to find signed pictures, a script from the show, and of his one man play, and a letter written to me, by Jon himself stating his thanks for being such a devoted fan, and being raised a fan. I wrote him back thanking him for what he had sent and his kind words, and he again wrote me back thanking me once more for being such a lovely and devoted fan, it was a highlight of my life for sure.

I never got to know Jon outside of the two letters he wrote me and the stories told to me by Laura Parker, and by his work I've seen on television, but with him and his ironic role playing a big part in my life, i will miss him, so good bye Jon, may you rest in peace, or rest for another 200 years in your coffin, like we all know you're really doing....

and just for the love of things... the introduction of Barnabas Collins from "Enter The Vampire"

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BC