The Reality Shock 3.0: Episode 1

The Reality Shock 3.0:

Episode One:

“Back Once Again With That Old School Swagger”

Hello everyone, its been a long time hasn't it? For those of you who remember my old version of this column, I thank you for coming back after my 3 year break, as for those of you who've never read the old version, well, get ready for abit of a crazy ride through the world of entertainment as I drop some truth, knowledge, and blunt reality on all of you if you are ready for it or not, because I am back once again to spread the gospel of the truest and most passionate out there, sure its not what the entertainment world wants you to think, its that passon and love for these things that are why I decided to come back to this, because so many out there ask me what I think on matters most entertainment, and I feel the time is right, the landscape isn't completely bleak and drab and full of nothing but horrible rehashed and reused and watered down into mush at the moment and that is where I like it, I like variety, I like knowing some nights you gotta flip a coin on what show to watch and what show to DVR/Download as apposed to just watching one show each time its on, simply because there is no other choice. Anyway, with all of that out of the way, let us all rejoice, for I am have returned, with my wit as sharp as a osafune katana, and my reality as blunt as a sledgehammer swung by Deadpool, so with no farther delay, lets dive headfirst back into this... and lets hope we don't flop harder then Louie Anderson's fat ass on that horrible celebrity diving show Splash....

Anyway.... A'Room'a Zoom Zoom.. here we go!!

Ok first thing I would like to touch on is something thats rather near and dear to my heart, and the thing i've been asked about the most, I am talking of the 50^th Birthday of Doctor Who. For those of you that know me, you know I am a life long fan of the series, and can truly say, its one of the few bright moments from my childhood, with that being said, I will answer outright, I really didn't like the way the show's birthday was handled. See, its rare that a television show makes it to 50 years, let alone that its still on the air when it makes it to that age, let alone that its the longest running series in its genre, and a global juggernaut with fans that make Twihards, Juggalos, Bronies, Trekkies, and Star Wars Nerds combined look smaller then the group of middle aged virgins that still play Magic: The Gathering, or if you're too old for that reference, smaller then the group of middle aged virgins who still play with Pogs, and if you're too old for that reference, smaller then the group of people who didn't return their copies of ET the Video Game for the Atari, and if you're too old for that reference, tough shit I’m not going back into the 1970s for a reference for this joke I already beat into the ground. Anyway my point is the fans of Doctor Who, or “Whovians” as they're called by people that want me to punch them in the face for saying the word whovian, is the largest fanbase on the internet, it literally spans three generations, grandparents, parents, children all united in their love of a mad man with a blue box who travels through time and space having adventures and thwarting shrill voiced salt and pepper shakers with plungers and egg beaters for hands, a global audience of well over 50 million viewers world wide.

Now I mention this only as a means of expressing just how large of a viewership they have for the program and the love those viewers have, now, taking all of that into account, don't you think it would be wise for the BBC to make a big deal, and celebrate a series that has endured everything from being put “on hold” for over a decade, to being a radio program, to an online web series, to audio books, and back to tv, but in the end, what do we get? Afew “retrospectives” on each lead to play the role, a television movie about the early days of the show, an anniversary special that seemed to have been written over an afternoon and wasn't even what they were promoting it to be, followed by a Christmas special that made very little sense and just seemed to be a means of dumping one lead for another, this might sound like a lot, but the problem is, honestly, other then the movie about the early days of the show, “An Adventure In Space And Time”, the BBC totally dropped the ball on this. And though I would love to put all the blame on them, the truth is, its not at all the fault of the BBC, the fault lies as much with show runner Steven Moffat, who wrote the two specials, and pissed fans off last year by splitting last year's 13 episodes into 6 last year and 7 earlier this year, he claimed “starving the audience for new episodes” would guarantee high ratings, when all it did was piss people off, forcing us to be subject to your stupid high concept crap that doesn't make any sense, and when we do get the show, the episodes being lackluster at best, isn't gonna make us happy we waited, its just gonna piss off long time viewers, you also don't mispromote a program simply because you know its what people would like to see. When you start lying to the fans, the loyal fans, whom your job depends on, the fans get mad, and when they get mad, they stop watching. I hope Moffat learns that lesson, and I hope the BBC does too... course looking at how the BBC is treating Top Gear, I doubt they've learned anything. Shame really. Still though, if you have time, catch “An Adventure in Time And Space”, it'll give you the feels something hardcore.

So there is gonna be a musical based on the life and music of Tupac Shakur, it'll be called “Holla If You Hear Me...” and open in London soon, this will either be the greatest attempt to bring hip hop to the legit theater world, or it will crash and burn worse then Spiderman Turn Off The Dark.

Speaking of Spiderman (epic segue for the win!, also extra points for spelling segue right instead of “segway”), I would like to express my worry over something else i've been asked about a lot lately, the second Amazing Spiderman film and the next X-Men movie, and well I guess comic book movies in general recently... Now lets start with Amazing Spiderman 2, now, lets face facts, there will never be a perfect spiderman movie, you will always get an actor thats a great Spiderman, or a great Peter Parker, sadly, its nearly impossible to find anyone that could be perfect as both, Peter Parker is meant to be the nerdy guy that no one notices is cute because of his nerdness, and that he's only able to express his true self, behind the mask, you just have to take whatever you can get and be happy with the middle ground, likewise with his cast, you either cast his family and friends perfectly and the villains horribly, or the villains right and his family and friends wrong, this being said, I feel with the current series of movies, they've done as well as possible with casting Spiderman, and as good as possible casting his family and friends, Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy? Oh hell yes. But sadly, much like the trilogy this new series of movies is meant to reboot and save us from, the weakest casting is in the villains, though I give them props for going with The Lizard as the first film's big bad, and proving you can do a superhero movie with just one bad guy, but all the headway they made, proving you can make a credible Spiderman film, is about to be forgotten in this horrible mess that is going to be Amazing Spiderman 2, cramming in B-List baddies Electro and The Rhino as the major threats and shoehorning in The Green Goblin just for shits and giggles, it just won't work, it'll give each villain roughly one act each, but that just isn't how movies work, someone's gonna be forgotten quicker then Malekith the Accursed in Thor: The Dark World (Oh don't worry, we'll get to that in abit), and let alone the changes they've made to make the characters so far changed from the comic book originals that its almost like they're trying to just pander to the non-comic audience, and that.. I just don't like. I can deal with Electro being black and looking like a homeless person, instead of a dumb white two bit criminal turned lightening bolt, but The Rhino isn't a dude in a mech suit, he's a former wrestler who was enhanced with speed and strength and through an accident got stuck in the suit he wore in the ring, a rhino suit, sure that sounds stupid to most, but, its better then a pale little shitwipe like Paul Giovani inside a mech that looks half like a rhino and half like a bear with a gun on its back... I am seriously worried this film will tank because the studio just wanted to character grab.

I am also worried about the next X-Men movie, X-Men: Days Of Future Past, not only is this movie, the follow up to the amazing X-Men: First Class, being handed to the director who killed the first X-Men trilogy by taking the greatest X-Men story ever, The Phoenix/Dark Phoenix Saga, and turned it into a no sense made at all b-story, who instead of taking the hint that no one cared about his story anymore, because, you know, it ruined the x-movies, has decided to take the movie all of us fans loved, and force it into the old storyline he's already proven wasn't what people wanted. Whats worse is he's using the ever not handled properly in films that don't involve a DeLorean or H.G Welles, trope of time travel through the mind, where the past and the future try to correct the present, it just... ugh. Days Of Future Past was another amazing X-Men story, but it didn't involve time travel, it was a stand alone nightmare apocalypse story, back when you could write a story of that nature in comics and it not be a “giant crossover event that changes (place comic book name here) forever” or something stupid, it wasn't anything like this, and though I understand the need to change things for the wider audience, I just don't understand the giving it back to the man who ruined things the first time out, thats just like creating a masterpiece of art and then paying a homeless man thats been living off scraps outside of a indian take out to take a crap on it while singing one of those post civil war super offensive folk songs no one wants to admit were popular at one point in time. Whats even worse, they're already trying to hype up the movie that will come AFTER this one, before its even out, which really worries me, you don't do that, oh sure, we knew that Avengers was coming four movies before, and we knew with Lord Of The Rings and Star Wars there were more movies coming after each one that came out, but like, you didn't see articles on movie sites or comic book sites talking about the next film BEFORE the current one hits theaters... that seriously worries me, a lot, its as if they're saying “hey, this movie is gonna utter dog shit, but look what we've got coming next if you stay with us!”, classic deflection and that just... I just don't know, I don't like it.

Now, you might think I'm just having a bitchy whiny fanboy rant with this, but you see, the thing is, as a life long lover of comic books and related material, I always want to see anything related to them do well, I want to see movies set box office records, and tv shows hit ratings highs and bring some amazing characters and amazing stories to either the big or small screen, even if they are from books I don't read or care for, because, well simply, the inspiration, and the wonder that they bring, oh sure, I hate Superman, but who knows, some kid, maybe a little girl in Egypt named Elena might see him take flight with Lois Lane in his arms and be inspired, with alittle help from her uncle who's a brilliant American writer/critic/columnist to write what could be the ultimate Superman story, or create her own character who will become loved the world over, you never truly know.

But I do know, at this point in time, comic book movies might be at the point where the bubble bursts, and that worries me, in a world where Marvel has basically half assed its two big films that followed up Avengers, yes, thats it, I’ve said it, and I’ll say it again, Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World, where NOT adequate follow ups to a film as giant as The Avengers, I understand there has to be dealing with fall out, but they could atleast advance toward the next film, Iron Man 3 introduced us to AIM, who will play very big into the tv series Agents of SHIELD, but at the same time, turned Iron Man into a terrified little school girl, thats NEVER been Tony Stark, not even at his drunkest, was he EVER scared of what he does, he sucked it up, downed a bottle of expensive vodka, smacked Pepper Potts on her sweet ass can and handled his business, no matter what happened to him in life, thats how Tony Stark do. As for Thor, well, I'm amazed they didn't just edit the villain, Malekith The Accursed, the dark elf king, out of the film entirely as to fit more Loki into it, its like that sickly third world albino african orphan Eric Ortwine I sponsor was saying the other day, “they should have just called the film Loki's Revenge and left Malekith out of the film entirely, sense he only shows up for three scenes, and they only use his name twice..” it just goes to show, if a sicky third world albino african orphan can see how obviously lacking something was, that means you really need to take a good look at it and fix it. Marvel is playing the extra long game now, branching its movies off into more obscure places and leading to bigger team up films, with rumors of major storyline “Civil War” being in the works as long as our already setting up saga of Thanos and The Infinity Gauntlet, this is a dangerous cliff they're hanging over, and they need to make sure they don't fall off. Also, they need to make sure when the time is right, they do Thanos Quest as a movie, just to hear him say the final lines in the book on film, if they do that, I can die a happy man.

Its not just movies by Marvel that need to get their act in gear I should add, in a world after Nolan and Bale working on Batman films, and a world where, lets face it, Man Of Steel was by no means a blockbuster, even if they are acting like it was, the film barely made 100million, which actually was less then it cost to make, thats not a blockbuster, thats barely breaking even, but yet, they're still going on with the next one, and seemingly destroying the whole thing in one shot, cramming a completely miscast Batman and Wonder Woman, as well as a rumored Denzel Washington as the black Green Lantern, and rumors of casting The Rock as a major character also, all into one movie, it just seems so stupid and so wrong, and it just screams talent grab and money grab, a totally wrong and horrible money and talent grab to me, as well as proof whoever is making the films for DC Comics truly has no idea what the hell they're doing.

Ok, comic book related rant over... now onto other things...

I would like to now talk about something thats probably an issue we're gonna only deal with here in America, verses a problem all around the world, I am talking about Syfy, a network devoted to science fiction programing the world over, now, when I look at their programing in other countries, its pretty good, pretty sci fi, but here, well, things are just going wrong. I don't understand how a network that claims to be the definitive science fiction place on television the world over, can clearly no idea what you're doing or who your target audience is, or what it is they like. I will used for examples, afew questions and answers from recent social media question/answer sessions between programing heads and viewers, I feel they will help me prove my point. Recently, when asked why the network has stopped showing classic sci fi series enlue of day long marathons of modern in house made programs, some of which are current and some are canceled, the head of programing claimed “our viewership doesn't want to see older sci fi series like V, the original Battlestar Galatica, Misfits Of Science, Lost In Space, or even comic book based shows like The Incredible Hulk, WonderWoman or the short lived Captain America and Spiderman live action programs from the late 70s, we feel they have no interest in such things, they'd much rather watch programs like Farscape, Fact Or Faked, Stargate SG1, Ghost Mine, Haunted Highway or Paranormal Witness.. there is no demand for classic sci fi, anyone that wants that, owns it on dvd/blu ray anyway.” Umm... NO. You're just more then likely lazy and really have no idea what the hell you're doing programing for a science fiction themed network, because you probably were a brown noser who wanted to do programing for a big five network, well tough shit blanko nino learn to do your damn job or step down. More proof of what i'm talking about, when asked later on, if the network was going to air classic sci fi movies or monster movies, or even kaiju movies (Godzilla, Mothra, Gammera, ect..) with the recent increase in popularity thanks to the surprise hit of Pacific Rim, they were treated with the answer of, “we as a network believe that older sci fi movies, monster movies, and kaiju films, are no longer what syfy viewers want, we feel they would rather watch movies like Sharknado, Ice Spiders, Sharkipus, or Jersey Shore Shark Attack instead of films staring people in foam rubber suits stomping over scale model cities...” … You starting to see what I mean here? Did you read that last statement? Seriously, read it back afew times, let that sink in, thats a head of programing for a network that averages 13 million viewers a week, clearly having no clue about their viewership. Seriously think about that.

Now while you're thinking about that, also take this into note, this is the same network, that felt the best way to create original programing was to cancel five of their top ratings getting shows; Destination Truth, Alphas, Warehouse 13, Eureka and Ghost Hunters International, to clear up 100million dollars to produce a television show called Defiance, that honestly, wasn't all that good of a program, oh sure, it allowed us to watch Jaime Murrey make out with other chicks, but aside from that, in all honesty, Defiance fell short of the bullseye they were expecting to hit with it. Now think about that too, they cancel five programs to make ONE show with 100million dollars, where in the fuck did all of that money go? Because it sure as hell didn't all go to that show's production, the F/X alone prove that. Honestly I've no idea what they're thinking they're doing... I just don't. My only real hope for them this year is that they don't fuck up the American airing of The Almighty Johnsons, a favorite series of mine from New Zealand they're airing this year, though with edits, you know, because far be it from American TV to air nudity and swears.. and hopefully it'll lead to an American remake, because they said the series itself is dead in the water down where its from, sadly.

Terms I'm hoping we leave in 2013 and never see again; “yolo”, “manscaping”, “man cave”, “obamacare”, “twerking”, “honey hole”.

Terms I would like to see become more popular in 2014; “Haberdashery”, “Shtaco”, “mimiograph”.

Interesting fact, the soon to be released Mr. Peabody and Sherman movie isn't because of the popularity of Doctor Who, which it is a lot like, nor is it because of the adventures of me and my friend Rose, the plucky young lass who assists me, its simply just when a proper script was given to the company that holds the rights to Jay Ward's creations.

I was recently filled with joy and adulation when I heard the news that not only was the french television series “The Returned” a hit when broadcast here in the states, and that though there are many series in the same vain starting in the near future, that there will be an american adaption on ABC called “Resurrection” airing soon much to my excitement, don't get me wrong, I don't mind watching subtitles with my tv, well unless its a spanish soap opera, then I just make up the plot till the hot women start smacking each other Dynasty style, but its good to also get a well made adaption of a program into a language that doesn't involve me remembering all I did in french class was stare at my hot french teacher and not really learn any of the language.

For those of you that don't know, The Returned is the story of this small town in France where one day, out of the fog, comes many of the people who died in the last few years, they come out of the fog, perfectly healthy looking and not aware of why they're brought back, they just are. Its based on a novel, but its also a lot like a french movie from afew years back called “They Come Back”, the same movie that fueled the creation of the once doomed to never go past pilot, but now thanks to this craze will see the airwaves revived for series “Babylon Fields”, which long time readers will remember is a personal favorite of mine, also word is FOX is adapting the film to series under the name “They Come Back”, so we'll wait and see just how many zombies and zombie like creatures are coming to tv soon, after all, it can't be worse then what they did to vampires... sigh.. oh how I miss the days when vampires weren't the metrosexual well dressed possibly gay friend to every lonely teenage girl.... that reminds me, I hate teenagers.

Time for many of you long time readers favorite segment, the list of what I'm watching these days, well here goes, separated by country; From the USA: Revolution, American Horror Story, Sleepy Hollow, Almost Human, Once Upon A Time, Agents Of SHIELD, Grimm, Space Dandy,The Tomorrow People, The Walking Dead, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, Under The Dome, Defiance, Fallen Skies, Warehouse 13, Haven, Banshee, The Following, Justified. From the UK: Doctor Who, Utopia, Lightfields. From Canada: Orphan Black, Lost Girl, Bitten, From AU/NZ: Nothing Trivial, Auckland Daze, The Strange Calls, Twentysomething, Upper Middle Bogan, Wonderland, Winners and Losers, Serangoon Road, Underbelly, Top Of The Lake, Wentworth, Nowhere Boys, The Almighty Johnsons, Tricky Business. From Other Places: Hellfjord (Norway), The Returned (France), Real Humans (Sweden), Hard (France), Love/Hate (Ireland), Trivia (Ireland)... There are some more there but I can't think of them as I write this, the curse of late night writing I guess.

And for those of you who are more of the music listening kind... The list of what I been jamming to lately; “Born And Raised in Lowell” by Kevin G. Moore, “The Man” by Aloe Blacc, “Bang Bang” by Monophonics, “How I Learned To Pray”, “To Young To See”, “Can't Fix Whats Not Broken”, “Love Don't Die Easy” by Charlie Worsham, “Nutbush City Limits” by Beth Hart, “Bad Moon Rising” by The Mourning Rituals, “Rap Viper” by Wordburgler, “Dress Blues” by Jason Isbell, “Here's To Never Growing Up” by Avril Levine, “Wild and Lonesome” by Shooter Jennings, “Old Fashion Morphine”, “All My Love”, “Burnt Toast”, “I Like You Better When You're Straight”, “Know Your Roots” by Dallas Frasca, “Soldier’s Song” by Stevie Nicks, “Into The Mystic” by Jen Chapin, “If It Hadn't Been For Love”, “Ghosts Of Mississippi”, “Sticks That Make Thunder”, “Midnight Train To Memphis”, “Where Rainbows Never Die” by The Steeldrivers, “Gimmie Head” by The Radiators, “Flame Trees” by Cold Chisel and I think thats enough for now, but there are more as you always know... curse my love of music.

No one is watching Trisha Paytas' youtube channel for her “wit and incite” into the world around her. Also, most of you just went and googled Trisha Paytas, half of you just went “oooooooooh” the other half just wished you'd had the time it took to google her back. However all of you are wondering if I mean my statement sarcastically or not.

Really Snoop Dogg? You're doing adds for loan agencies in other countries now? Really? Did you smoke through all that Snoop Lion money that fast? Hahaha I'm just kidding, his Snoop Lion project never made any money.

I was hoping that I wouldn't have to touch on this, but I’ve gotten a lot of questions of what I think of this matter, so I figure while I’m speaking from the pompatus of reality, I should address the issue of one Phil Robertson. For those of you who don't know who Phil is, he is the elderly head of the Robertson family, the family behind the not really reality series Duck Dynasty, who recently said some rather homophobic and racist statements in an interview with GQ magazine, and its pissed off a lot of people. Now, the matter of free speech aside, here is the facts that people seem to forget, Phil is a 70 year old man with xenophobic and technophobic tendencies and is incredibly antisocial. Anyone thats seen atleast one episode of the series is aware of these things, he constantly refers to anyone that doesn't live in the woods like a hoarder like he does, as “yuppies” and claims his own grandchildren disgust him because they were raised in large beautiful homes, go to good schools and have cellphones and various computer devices, he refuses to do interviews with any reporters or business people who do not believe in god or will not pray with him, he also refuses to learn about the world outside of the world he created for himself, he is no different then any other old southern man in his age group, so why, would it shock anyone that he would have an issue with gay people? Honestly, have you not seen the show? There was an episode where he had to deal with an obviously gay photographer taking family pictures, and Phil was insanely rude to him, constantly making cracks about him going back to the city, and after shooting a squirrel out of a tree proclaimed “I bet thats the first time you've ever seen one of those isn't it?” and then mocked him for having never eaten squirrel. Seriously this happened, lord knows the network its on airs the show in long enough blocks most days, have a watch he totally does this. I don't know why his beliefs surprise anyone honestly. This is normal behavior for those raised as he was, and where he was, its just old folksy beliefs, nothing more.

And also to make my other point on this matter, honestly, why is it a big deal who does and doesn't like or accept gay people? Now don't get me wrong, I have no issues with homosexuals or homosexuality, I believe whatever makes you happy is your business, and honestly, why is it, in 2014, we still feel the need to care what others do in their own bedrooms, or Burger King bathrooms, or where ever else one gets their end away? And in the same vain, why are there people who feel the need to make examples and spectacles of people who do have an issue with gays? What is the point of pointing out their beliefs, sure, I don't agree with them, but they've their right to believe what they want. I just wonder if maybe its just witch hunting for the sake of witch hunting, because, you know, witch hunts have always turned out so well for people in the past. Seriously, I just wish people would leave people alone and not care what is going on in the lives of people they don't know or care about, its just wasted energy. Energy that could be better spent twerking or ghost riding a whip, or parkor or planking or whatever other stupid thing people are doing these days.

Now that we've settled that, I promise you, that will be the closest to serious news this column will ever become, now back to the normal fodder...

You wanna know what saddens me? That the film The Knights of Badassdom didn't get any love when it was in theaters for the very short time it was, honestly, it was a who's who of people the internet loves, in a movie about a LARP troop fighting zombies, aside from the fact its the only group to not fight zombies on the big screen yet, its also such a crazy idea that it almost makes it, in theory anyway, as brilliant as Dead Snow, remember, the Jews vs. Nazi Zombies film from afew years back? Yeah now you do, and now you're pissed you forgot about it. Ah well, atleast the next Muppet movie is coming out soon.

And thats where we're gonna end things this time around, but, before I go, I always do, I shall leave you with afew random thoughts to ponder until we next meet....

I have seen imagery and toys from the new ninja turtle movie, its gonna suck more then Megan Fox did to get her role in it. I don't get why ABC is going to take The Wizard Of Oz and give it the Once Upon A Time treatment, did they not learn with Wonderland? Why is Cee-Lo Green still a thing? Thank you Guardians Of The Galaxy for giving me Rocket Raccoon in movie form, life needs more foul mouthed insane giant gun packing space raccoons. DC Comics are a bunch of homophobic idiots. As he reads this, Lord Bez is Fandangoing. I don't find Cedric The Entertainer all that entertaining honestly. Seriously, they're remaking Kirk Camron's horrible Left Behind movies for the big screen with Nick Cage? Honestly, does he have any shame? I mean really? I wonder if people take heavy hallucinogenic drugs and watch In The Night Garden, because I'm pretty sure you gotta be tripping balls to make sense of it in general.

And thats it for this time around... so, till next time you crazy little Wottingers... blessid be

Chris

The Reality Shock 10/30/2011

The Reality Shock 2.0:

Issue #3: ..Like A God Fire Phoenix I Rise..

Welcome back once again my dear friends to the show that never truly ends, mostly because whenever I feel I've had enough, somehow, someway, sometimes through funky ass shit that happens every single day, and sometimes by means of afew loyal followers (by which I mean mostly my friend Ashley) reminding me that its been so very long sense I've sat down and wrote out one of my much beloved sermons of truth and blunt honesty. I have to admit, I had a feeling I might not be so good at this after about a year or so break, but I'm surprised to discover that not only am I feeling the energy flowing like I used too, but I'm feeling like everything is old times all over again, which is really pretty good, cuz they were good times, atleast I thought they were, but hey I could be wrong. I do know one thing though, after a year off, and the 6 prior years of writing this soliloquy of serendipity, I still have no real clue how to write a proper opening paragraph. Amazing how somethings never change no matter how long of a gap you have to bridge isn't it?

Alright, with that out of the way, lets get down to it, shall we? And away we go... A'room'a'zoom'zoom!!

So the first things first, I wanna address a movie that a lot of people have been asking me my opinion on, now, I do get asked about many things still all this time after letting my pulpit of truth fade into obscurity, and sense I've brought this out of retirement, I figure I'll answer one of the most recent and most persistent questions I've been getting, and that is, being the big Shakespeare fan that I am, what is it I think of the upcoming movie “Anonymous”, where in we are expected to believe that the great bard himself, William Shakespeare, was infact a fraud, a sort of Milli Vanili of his time, with the real writer of his work being The Earl Of Oxford, who believes that his writing deserves to be shared, but feels if he were to present it himself, it would only be heralded because of his status, instead of the actual talent. Now, though I understand the logic of that sort of theory, there has never been anything supporting this theory other then the theory itself, which though often debated over the last 30 or so years sense it was first put forward, there has never really, to my knowledge, never really been anything to support it, other then the original idea itself, which though a fun debate among classic literature lovers of the world, has never really been much more then that, a fun debate, until now. Now, as for my ideas and beliefs on this, though I will more then likely find the film to be a well acted, well written, beautiful bit of briefly controversial film, I believe it will be nothing more then just that, a film of fictional record, I've always been of the belief that Shakespeare is, as he always will be, one of the greatest writers of all time, maybe I'm too stuck in my ways, but I just can't believe one of the greatest dreamers that never quit dreaming, was basically Cyrano De Bergerac with out the giant penis nose, and played for the whole world to love, not just one woman. Its just not possible. But I am sure the film will be great though, and I look forward to seeing it.

Speaking of period based films, Ukrainian goddess Milla Jovovich, who normally is one of the most easy going and friendly people in the acting world, taken it upon herself to call out the film studio releasing her recent action/adventure steampunk like revision of The Three Musketeers, for their lack of proper advertizing of the film. Saying its ment to be more of a family friendly action adventure instead of a balls to the wall action film thats not for all ages. She has been taking to every media she can to state this. Some might find it in bad taste that an actor is speaking badly of the studio in the promotion for the film, but infact, going by what many critics are saying, she has a point, and this isn't a case of a star trying to incite bad blood between them and the studio, much like Richard Dreyfus did when he called out both Oliver Stone and Lionsgate films for not “hitting hard enough and making the world feel bad for George W. Bush” in the film “W” the George W. Bush biopic where Dreyfus played Vice President Dick Chaney, Milla simply wishes to show that her film is being mistreated by the studio, and she's just trying to save the film from ruin. What makes this case sad is, the film did bomb here in the states, though it did well everywhere else, and the studio is trying to make it out like Milla's questioning of their way of promoting the film is why it bombed, because they felt letting her promote the film with such an attitude, would be bad for them, which really is a shame, because the film is actually really good. It also looks bad on Milla Jovovich, who, in all honesty is possibly one of the nicest, respectful, friendliest of all the famous person I've ever come across, seriously she answers every single twitter, facebook comment, direct message, facebook PM, sent by every single fan, as long as its not lude or insulting or disrespectful ofcourse, she even goes out of her way to bring us all into her daily life, posting pictures of her kids and husband and her doing the silliest and cutest things, or video or pictures from the set of whatever film she's working on, and talking about how she loves sharing it all with the world as she does. Making someone that nice and caring to her fans look bad really just makes the studio look like shit, specially sense she was right.

Speaking of Milla's level of interaction with her fans, in my year off, I've discovered Twitter with alittle trail and error, learned that its not the waistland of endless self whoring like I figured it would be, infact I've discovered that many a famous person who's on twitter is a lot like Milla, taking the time to interact with their fans as much as possible, it kind of amazes me really, sure most of them are from outside of the United States, but still, the point remains, fame is fame, and here in America, its unheard of for a star to personally interact with their fans via social media, sure you get ones like Ashton Kutcher who doesn't so much interact with the fans so much as preach to them and preside over them, or Courtney Love who doesn't so much interact, so much as post drunken pictures of herself mostly naked or wearing something skimpy, but there is really no attempt to interact with the fans like they're people. I was amazed at the idea of this, and I figured sense as I writing this, I was having a conversation about this very thing with my charity case homeboy Mojo, I would share it all with you as well. And after a small amount of twitter and facebook stalkery as well as fumbling through my half wrong attempts at other languages, i've gathered that other then each country's super huge high end megastars, most famous people the world over, are very nice and respectful and friendly, as long as you are the same to them. When I talk about this, I always mention Lauren Socha, BAFTA winner for best supporting actress for her role as Kelly Bailey on the amazingly good sci fi dramedy Misfits, who literally lets her fans into every single part of her daily life, often sending pictures of herself and her family and friends, or her dog out to the masses, as well as often putting on her webcam via twitter and talking with the fans for hours, often with her friends, cast mates, her family, at random times during her day, sometimes even while sitting in bed when she can't sleep, she's covered up respectfully before you pervs get the wrong idea, she always answers questions about the show, what she's doing, what her brother who is going to be a semi regular on the next series of Being Human is doing, afew times even asked for fans to sell her a car, and offering to send a weekend afternoon having lunch and watching football (soccer to us americans) with anyone in Derbyshire who could get a good friend of hers who had been fired a job, even giving out her mobile number afew times for the fans, even promoting her show by stating if she can, she'll be live tweeting and using her cam to interact with fans during each episode of the upcoming series of misfits. That kind of full access is completely unheard of here.

There are a lot of others who are just as interactive with the fanbase the world over, I just use Lauren as an example because I find myself laughing at how far into her life she tries to integrate her fans to make everyone feel like they truly know her. Steve Pizzati of the now canceled Top Gear Australia is the same way, though his mostly involves him posting videos of him driving high end supercars around exotic racetracks stuff, which is great, but just rubs salt in the wound of people like me, who actually liked the aussie version of Top Gear and wish they'd keep making it, oddly, the loss of the russian version of Top Gear, which I also enjoyed, doesn't sting as much. Ah well, thats how it goes in life I guess.

By the way, if anyone who hasn't yet, and would like to follow me on twitter, you can at @ThisBrokenMind which some of you might take as me poking some fun at the fact most people think I'm crazy, but its actually shortened from the line “I am trapped here in this broken mind, and all I can ask is just be kind, to me.” a line some of you might know from the Molly Venter song “Good Mother” about watching her other slowly lose her sanity and memories as she got old. Speaking of Twitter accounts to follow, you all should give my friend Rose a follow as well at @EloquentParrot she mostly drops stone cold bits of truth about UK current affairs shows and provides hilariously truthful and blunt commentary on the UK version of The X-Factor, but its still rather entertaining, plus she can totally use the followers. Anyone else I know with a twitter account, don't get upset I'm not ignoring your accounts, I just haven't gotten your permission to plug yours, out of respect I won't do that kind of thing without y'alls permission or knowledge.

Now that I've mentioned it, all of you who are wondering what I think of the American version of The X-Factor, don't worry I plan on getting to it in length in abit, I just have afew other other things I'd like to mention before hand, so stay tuned faithful readers... or you know, skip down if you wish, it'll be there either way if you wait and read the rest of just jump then read back.. or if you go and make a sammich then come back and read the rest. Damn its 3:45am why am I craving a sammich?

Anyway, on to other things...

I'd like to give you all a heads up on an upcoming little known and little talked about film called “Chronicle”, which I'm betting could be the next District 9 type of sleeper. By which I mean people will dismiss as looking brilliant and having a brilliant concept, but they'll wait till it comes to dvd/blu ray/on demand to watch it, then they'll kick themselves for not shelling out the cash for theaters because of how amazing and wonderful the film is. Chronicle, is the story of three Portland Oregon based teenagers, who while recording themselves goofing about in the woods outside of town, are all exposed to a mysterious chemical they happen across, and as they go around their days videoing themselves as teenagers tend to do incase something is oddly youtube worthy, they start to develop superpowers given to them by the chemicals in the woods, the film goes from lazy loser teenagers mucking about with a handicam, to the story of three teenagers working together to train themselves in how to use their new found powers, and how they slowly start to turn on each other as well. The film is shot like Cloverfield, meaning first person view, so you feel you're right there in the middle of everything, a style that most seem to dislike for some reason, but I personally love to death, because of the surreality of how it puts you in the scene, while breaking the 4^th wall, with out really breaking the 4^th wall. Look for it February 3^rd of 2012.

Why are people making such a big deal out of the suit for Catwoman in the upcoming Batman: The Dark Knight Rises? Yes it looks like a generic sneaking suit with knee boots, but do you people not realize, that Catwoman never started out to be a master thief? The character of Selena Kyle was originally a hooker who wanted a certain necklace so bad she decided to steal it from a high end jewelery store, and she discovered in the process, she had a nack for theft, and thats how Catwoman was born, she didn't start out in the more commonly known and perfectly named leather catsuit, infact if you look into the comics, she didn't wear the trademark catsuit until AFTER the 1960s Batman tv show that starred Adam West decided to make the character into the definition of female supervillain sexy, infact Catwoman wasn't even that major of a villain until that show made her as such, and also, female villains weren't really written as sexy and flirty toward others until that show put the idea forward as well. So everyone bitching that the Catwoman suit that we've all seen on set pictures of so far looks cheap and unimaginative, remember, not every character starts out in the suit we all know of them in, but by the end, they end up in them, so shut up and wait to see what happens, you'll get to see Anne Hathoway in skin tight leather and Emma Peel sized knee boots soon enough.... perverts.

So before we continue, I have to eat abit of humble pie, which for those interested, tastes abit like Shepard's Pie, but the kind with carrots in it, not the awesome kind with corn, peas and bacon. Also, if I offended you by not referencing the type of shepard's pie you're used too, oh well, it literally changes from town to town and region to region all over america and the united kingdom, even if its a traditional united kingdom dish. Anyway... I have to eat some humble pie, because as many of you are aware, I've many times stated I refused to go anywhere near the scripted original programing produced by MTV, no I don't just mean the “reality” shows that are totally scripted, or their “documentaries” I mean the actual scripted programing, after they ruined their chance to make a daring ambitious take on UK cult series Skins, and that horrible horrible attempt at making 1980s cult crapfest Teen Wolf, which according to Kayla Patterson ripped off Twilight 20 years before Twilight was published, because everyone knows Stephanie Meyer created werewolves and vampires, into girlwank fodder for Team Jacob, and after their much hyped The Hard Times Of R.J Burger fell flat of the target, and countless other attempts I'm probably forgetting thanks to expensive therapy, I must admit, after all of that, MTV has actually put out afew quality programs, three infact, which I feel are in need of mention; Death Valley, which is basically Cops, but set in a town over run with zombies, oh sure you'd think the idea would get tired rather quickly, but amazingly it doesn't, but then again, honestly, who doesn't love killing zombies? Another actual hit they have is the show Awkward, which is basically the tv version of the amazing but overlooked movie Easy A, both of which seemed overlooked by most, but truly are enjoyable. And ofcourse, the biggest highlight I have to mention, infact if I don't my friend Ashley will hang me from a tree and toss rocks at me, is ofcourse the relauch of Beavis and Butthead, which thankfully, didn't show its age, nor did it cross the line to straight up pandering to bring back fans, their relaunch had no frog baseball, nor did it have Cornholeo roaming about, it just established them back where they belonged, mocking music videos (and now reality shows too) and pop culture in general. I can't believe I'm about to say this but, good job MTV, you're officially now ahead of NBC and CBS in my “get out of the television shithouse” program.

“You know, when I did my skit with the cast of Jersey Shore when I was hosing the prime time emmy awards, we had to constantly change the script, not to make if funnier, but because those wacky macaroni rascals couldn't pronounce certain words. Serious, I'm not kidding, if you saw my skit with them, I played a mafia liaison, but because none of them could say the word “liaison”, we changed it to they would simply refer to me as The Godmother... I know it made it abit trite to some, but god bless those guidos, they tried as hard as they could, they just couldn't say that word to save their lives.... not even that little orange one that looks like a cabbage patch kid...” - Jane Lynch of the hit series Glee on her dealings with the cast of Jersey Shore.

Lindsey Lohan working in a morgue is the most hilarious thing I've ever had the privilege of picturing in my head, whichever judge in LA made that happen, I thank you. I thank you hardcore. I thank him almost as much as I thank the person who thought the idea of the show H8R, where Z-List famous people spend a day trying to convince someone that called them names on the internet they're good people... shame it got canceled three episodes in.

Some movies you all should check out if you haven't yet; Rubber; the story of a tire that lives in the outer area of Lancaster California, is named Robert and one day, not only becomes self aware and alive, but also discovers that it has an unyielding need to kill as it rolls across the California sands heading toward LA, and somewhere along the way stops to watch a lot of classic car tv shows, movies and classic nascar. Attack The Block; a British attempt at a ghetto vs. aliens film, which starts off abit silly and kind of dumb, but after the first 15 minutes picks up and becomes one of the most delightful films I've seen in the whole humans vs. aliens genre in a long time, plus it helped me get the bad taste of the film Skyline out of my memory, which was a much needed scrubbing, plus there is talks of making a tv series based on it, which I could honestly see working, not for long, but maybe a 6 episode run with as much of the original cast as I can.

Some Television you all should check out; The Fades; a story of humans with angelic powers who fight to prevent the end of the world brought about the undead, its perfect Halloween time watching. Bedlem; a UK series about a mental hospital being turned into an apartment complex, its losely based on the former Danvers Mental Institution, one of the most horrific places in america, that was turned into a high end apartment complex. Once Upon A Time; a rather interesting and dark twist on fairy tales set in smalltown Maine. A little side note about The Fades, if you saw the rather well made and delightfully trashy Stanley Park pilot from BBC last year, and you're as clever as me, you'll notice the neighborhood where they do the exterior shots of one of the character's homes, is the exact same neighborhood where that pilot was shot.

You know, I will admit, after much shock and teasing by every woman I know for the fact I didn't know Zachary Quinto, one of my favorite actors of the modern era is totally gay till he came out of the closet last week, I will say this, after seeing his Halloween costume he posted on his twitter, I would have known. Seriously, if you've not seen him dressed as “new york city's fireworks on july 4th” go hit up his twitter (giggity), seriously its the most hilariously gay thing ever, Check it out once you stop laughing at the fact I said “hit up his twitter” in a serious tone and with a straight face.

Everyone keeps telling me I should love Terra Nova, its got everything one could want; dinosaurs, adventure, that guy from Avatar everyone thinks is a good actor for some reason.. but I just can't fully get into it, I just keep looking at it and thinking of things they did wrong, like not bringing back proper building materials and equipment, or proper scientists who have actual knowledge of dinosaurs and what would be found in a world like that, or how they seem to have no issue at all destroying an entire other timeline that they know nothing at all of, because, you know, fuck those guys and their reality, no one cares about them, they can go to the shitty deny's on the other side of town from now on. All of it just adds up to me having a giant question mark and the word “Hmm..” over my head about the show. Also, I'm not that impressed with what will probably be the final season of House so far either.

I don't really care what anyone says, I'm super excited about the upcoming new movie starring The Muppets, plus I seriously love the spoof trailers, Epic. Now if I could only get someone to look at my Fraggle Rock movie script....

I know a lot of you are wondering about this, so I'll put all your wondering to rest, YES I am super excited about The Avengers the more set photos and clips I see, I love that they aren't really putting much info out there other then that they're united to fight against Loki and his trickery. I'm also rather excited that word has come down that all the ties that bind these recent marvel movies together leading up to The Avengers, will continue to bind them all together after they come together, plus word that Avengers 2 will have a different cast but cameos by the current ones, I seriously can't wait. Seriously though, Marvel Studios, buy back the rights to Spiderman, Fantastic Four, X-Men, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and all the stray little kittens that are out there split among other studios, you need a full shared film universe, not just half of it. Plus, the marvel universe isn't the same without Peter Parker swinging around NYC, or mentions of Reed Richards inventing things, or the mention of mutants and the x-men in general, or even The Punisher and DareDevil running about the city working overtime, fighting crime, fighting crime. Plus with marvel putting out statements they feel their movies are chapters in movie sized comic books, and plan on using them as such, and that they wish to tell key storylines on the big screen, the awesome sauce is just amazing right now. So excited.

I might get flack for this, but, I would watch an entire episode of The Cleveland Show where you follow Cleveland Brown Jr. around all day just seeing what his day is like.

Alrighty, so as promised, once I finished everything else I had to say this week, I would spread forth my thoughts on the American take on the UK megahit series The X-Factor. And though I had thought of maybe just ignoring it and maybe writing about something else, like, how I hate there are 8 tv shows on tv about cake making at the moment, or 4 about midgets, or how I think its stupid the Hillsborough County Prison, where we keep pedophiles and child porn cases in my section of New Hampshire, is right on the highway, but also right across the street from a mini-golf/ice cream and burger stand, or something like that instead. But because I'm a people pleaser, I have to give the people what they want, me commenting on the rookie year of the American version of The X-Factor, and thus, because its what the people want, its what the people shall get, so lets get into it, before I start rambling about how awesome local television personality Fritz Weatherby is, which will mean nothing to all of you cuz you don't have a clue who he is... so.. lets get down into this...

Ok so, some of you might be amazed to discover, that I do not actually have any prior experience with The X-Factor, I always figured it was the same thing as American Idol, seeing as they have the same roots, assuming that, I figured there no reason to really pay attention to anything but the winner each year, after all one can only really put up with so much Simon Cowell in their life before you realize you wanna stab every douchebag in a tight dark teeshirt a haircut they stole from Richard Dean Anderson after his awesome kentucky waterfalls mullet phase, who thinks because they discovered 5ive and S Club 7 they're somehow entitled to be jerks to everyone.

I was amazed though, that though both concepts are alike, they are different in many key ways, and on theory alone, I'd actually give X-Factor an edge over the idol machine, I never liked the idea of Idol having an age limit, thats just moronic, because a music dream doesn't end at 30, and if you think it does, you're an idiot and no one cares what you think anyway you stupid Justin Bieber fan. I like that in X-Factor you have someone working with the contestants, molding them, instead of just tossing them out there on their own and expecting them to wing it, then tossing a winner out there expecting them to fly or fall on their faces, you have someone thats a go too thats in the business and can help you along if needs be, that should, assuming the mentor knows what they're doing, make for a better act by the time its over and done. I also like the sudden death aspect of X-Factor better, it allows for us to cut through all the dragging out of quarter and semi finals, though I do feel the build up rounds are abit much, you've gotta literally sing like 8 times before you make it to live tv tapings, and even at that point you can get cut one final time before it gets to the voting. That seems abit high pressure, but I guess that fits the idea of the show. I also rather like that they include groups and hip hop, I felt this gives you an all in one show vs. the many failed spin offs of the genre where they'd try to find group or rapper on their own and just failed miserably do to the lopsided ratio of shit talent picked to fill slots in a show of this nature vs. actual talent.

I only have three major issues with The X-Factor, and really two of them are more personal nitpickery instead of actual issues. My first issue, though it might sound abit narrow minded, is the lower end of the age spectrum, now I'm not saying there aren't talented young kids who could be out there putting the game on its head and making that big figga skrilla, but a lot of them at like 12 to 14 or so, aren't mentally or emotionally ready for what they'll have to deal with, plus, I just don't see how giving a not raving review of the work of someone that young could make the judges look like anything but an asshole, seriously who isn't gonna boo someone for telling a 12 year old kid they tanked a performance and then tell them the critical feedback they need to make it better? Most kids that age group, those watching live, and the viewers aren't gonna hear the important feedback to make it better that they'll be given, they'll just see a judge telling a little kid they fail at singing a certain song. No one wants to be THAT asshole, even if its important to their growth as an artist, it just looks mean. Unless that kid is Justin Bieber, then hate him all you like, specially now that its legal in most cities in the UK to hunt Bieber with a crossbow from Midnight to 6am. My other issues, as I stated are more nitpickery, I do not feel just because the judges felt the need to make two groups, to round out the groups category, that those two groups, which really aren't that good, should be pushed along to live shows simply because it seems the judges refuse to admit they might have been wrong, seriously, if you've not seen the show check on the website, they're “Lakoda Rayne” and “inTENcity”; one is a country pop girl group thats name sounds like a porn star and they all dress like slores, and the other is a random mash up of 10 not exactly talented kids that sound like a theme park show, its painful to watch. My last bit of nitpickery is in the choice of former Pussycat Doll and lover of wearing dresses so short and tight one most carefully sit down in them or they split in self destructive zones, Nicole Shrerzinger, as a judge. Ok I get it, she's hot, and not everyone is gonna wanna perv at cougartastic and completely insane Paula Abdul, but the problem is, even though she looks good in a tight slore suit, and apparently can sing moderately well, she doesn't really have the knowledge base of various genres of music or artists to properly work with the group she was given to work with, the over 30 group. It seems like a mistake to me, and that sucks because some of the over 30s could win the whole thing, infact I think the three that are left as of the top 12, have strong chances to win it all, with very few that I can see giving them a run.

Which leads me to my next point of interest, the actual talent of the show. Now, I have to admit, I see what the other critics have been saying about the show being a case of how many talented sob stories can you cram into one show, but Idol falls into that trope too, so I can let it go, but, also, unlike Idol, the talent that makes it through, thanks to the crowd, is infact very talented, not so/so with hopes of them growing in the Hollywood rounds, if you don't bring the very best, you don't have a chance in hell. As for the actual talent in general, they've got some great voices, and some I feel are just there because they're more of a package or a stage show, then a voice. Recent elimination and possibly the saddest of the sob stories and James Brown sound-alike, Dexter Haygood, for example, was more of a stage show then a singer, that doesn't make him any less talented then the others, but it makes it harder to showcase him, his unique but talented voice, and the stage show that a man who sounds like him would need, in a show of this nature, he's more of a go see them live singer then a listen to them on the radio singer, where in contrast, you have someone like LeRoy Bell, a man who was part of the short lived late 1970s soul group Bell and James, has written songs for Elton John, as well as played with Sir Elton as well as B.B King and many others, who when you listen to his voice, you just sit in wonder of how a man with such an amazing voice and such an ear for music, could have been overlooked for as long as he has been. But LeRoy is all voice and no real show, as a contrast to Dexter. Seriously, its mind-boggling, look him up.

There are other amazing talents as well that I feel have a chance at the crown, south Florida's contender for new latin diva Melanie Amaro, and lifetime original movie Stacy Francis, who will show down for the most powerful of the female voices, both have a chance at taking the whole thing if they keep with themselves on track. Other stand outs with a chance to actually make it to the winner's circle include; Rachel Crow, the youngest, and by far the most entertaining of the finalists, she might be more suited to be the likes of being an acting/singer double punch for a company like Disney that makes its own child stars then sets them loose in the wild after they grow up, but its ok, she's awesome. Other possible winners are Josh Krajcik, a guy who, when not trying to look like me, but sing astoundingly better then I wish I ever could, is normally making burritos at a shopping mall eatery. Josh's voice is amazing and has such a soulful sound to it, it just amazes me that this guy never went past the singing in bars stage of music. Another is rapper Chris Rene, who, not only is one of the most uplifting and positive stories in the competition, also set the internet on fire with his audition song, an original rap called “Young Homie”, which even had my mother, who is by no means a hip hop lover singing along and standing up and cheering by its end. As well as posibly the dark horse in this race, young soul singer Marcus Canty, who sounds like a soul singer straight out of the early 1990s, before R&B became bald idiots like Usher taking their shirts off and showing their abs more then about singing, plus, Marcus has the right to claim he sang right to a visibly turned on by his actions Rihanna, who was assisting judge LA Reid with selecting his final four, gotta put a guy who can use his voice to visibly get one of the world's most sought after women hot in the pants for him, in contention for the crown.

Fun Fact I found out this week; You might not know the name Shuki Levi, but if you were a child, or had a child between 1983 and now, you have heard his voice, or music he's composed, Shuki started out in the early 1980s as a failed pop singer, who was asked by Kenner toys to write and preform the theme songs as well as product the in show music for cartoons based on their biggest toy properties at the time; M.A.S.K and Jayce And The Wheeled Warriors, Levi wrote and recorded all the music for both series, even the themes, both of which most 1980s pop culture historians claim to be among the best themes of the era, from there Levi became in demand, creating themes and music for everything from Disney's Gummi Bears, to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or if you're in the UK Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles) to every single adaption of The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Levi still puts out albums of his own music from time to time, though most critics find it odd that a guy that made an artform out of writing a theme to a cartoon or a show where people in spandex and motorcycle helmets do parkour to defeat people in foam rubber suits while pyrotechnics go off wildly behind them, can suck at making actual music for the masses. … And thats a fun fact, that I learned this week, and felt the need to share with you, because after all, knowledge is power, and knowing is half the battle, and knowing makes you, a superstar.

Songs I'm feeling this week: “Lucky” Katie Kole, “A Change Is A Coming” LeRoy Bell, “Dominion Road” The Mutton Birds, “Love The Way You Lie” Meghan Tonjes, “Empire State Of Mind” Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, “Shipping Up To Boston” The Dropkick Murphys, “White Trash Beautiful” Everlast, “The Transformers” Lion, “Creepshow” Kerli,“Tessie” The Dropkick Murphys, “Joline” Queen Adreena, “Feel This” Porsah Laine, “Companion To A King” Mieka Pauley, “Into The Mystic” Jason Isbell, “Self Destructive Zones” Drive By Truckers, “Sticks That Make Thunder” Steeldrivers, “Kabuki” by Aloan, “Window pain” Opeth, “Over The Hills And Far Away” Nightwish, “Akhasmak Ah” Nancy Ajram,

“The Longest Road” Morgan Page and Lizze (various remixes), “From The Delta To The Golden Gates” Barbra Blue.

And thats where I'm gonna finish ride thats so wild that Mr. Toad wishes his name was involved in it, even though I've no idea why I made a Wind In the Willows reference in this day and age, with so little giving a crap about it because it doesn't involve vampires or werewolves, but for now, as I always do, I shall end it with some random thoughts, to dazzle, amaze, annoying, and bewilder you all... so.. here we go...

I seriously do not care for 98% of reality tv. At what point did the world decide Nickleback still deserves radio play? And on Canadian rock bands, why haven't Big Sugar or The Tragically Hip get the love they deserve instead? I'm thinking about giving afew followers of mine alittle segment where they give me a list of music they're listening to whenever I get around to writing this each time, kind of an interactive thing. I really feel glad I sat down and wrote this out, I forgot how much I missed it. The reason I was away so long is because nothing really interesting happened in entertainment, it was all just reality tv show “star” bullshit, and well I just don't give a fuck who Kim Kardashian's giant ass is married too now, people who are famous because they sucked the neverwas brother of a has been pop singer from the 90s off on video, really shouldn't be “famous”, thats just how I see it I guess. I'm so happy Haven's getting a third season, my life needs more Emily Rose in it. I'm getting really tired of all these Paranormal shows out there on tv, seriously, I don't care if Donny Most from Happy Days had an encounter with a ghost, because more then likely, that ghost was the ghost of his career, its been dead sense 1984 after all. American Horror Story is a lot like Marchlands, but instead of Alex Kingston hotting things up when it gets boring, you have Dylan McDermitt with out pants on, somehow that doesn't really seem like a great trade off to me. Speaking of Alex Kingston, if you haven't seen her short “River Song: My Story” from the final episode of Doctor Who Confidential, you have too, its a wonderful and beautiful thing. I'm so excited Misfits comes back tonight!!! Also, seriously I'm getting tired of waiting for the new Being Human series to start. Speaking of Being Human, I'd love a shirt that says “Team Annie” mostly because, well, Annie's awesome. And finally, one last thing I wish you all to remember, and take with you always, “Akhasmak, aah. Aseebak, la. Wi gowah ilroah hatifdhal habeebi illi ana bah-waah. Bahibbak, aah. Wa afarkak, la.” Remember it always, for its how I feel for all of my fans who love what I write, thank you all so very much.

And that is where I shall end it for this installment my fellow Indigo Children, so until next whenst we meet, I wish you all good times and blessid be your souls.

BC

The Reality Shock 2.0 # 2

The Reality Shock:

The Illyad of  Stupidity .... and a Carrie Prejean joke.

Welcome welcome welcome once again my friends to the never ending carnival of wonder and amazement beyond your wildest imaginations. Ok well that might be a bit of a stretch, but it was just such a good opening line that I just couldn't let it slip away once it popped into my head, and well, you long time readers know I've always had issues with the opening lines to this. But with all of that said, I would like to welcome you all back to my wonderful little column where I spout out wisdom, knowledge and gibberish that pertains to the world of entertainment as we know it. I know I do these less frequently now that I am no longer among the working, but that doesn't mean I still don't have the same friends and connections and insider info and whatnot that I had before. It just means I write about it less then normal, thats all. After all you can take away a microphone in which to speak, but you can't take away the words that are coming out of a person's mouth. Interesting side note, you also can't take whats inside a person's mind, well you can if you're Mentok The Mindtaker, but well, none of you are Mentok The Mindtaker, so deal with that harsh reality. And with all of that said, I'd like to once again welcome you to The Reality Shock, now sit back, get some crunch and munch, or some lime doritos or whatever it is you snack on, get a drink to with it, and relax as I take you on a magical mystery tour through the screwed up world that is hollywood...

And with that said, lets get down to business shall we? …. A'Room'A'Zoom'Zoom!!

First off, I'd like to tell you all I'm sorry for the delay in column, I actually took the summer off to do something wonderful, to actually reconnect with why I love my field so much, I spent the summer just being a regular fan of entertainment, I watched shitty movies and tv shows and didn't care that they were completely shit, I listened to a Lady Gaga album and didn't actually vomit or go beat up a transsexual trying to dress like Jem from Jem And The Holograms in a blinding rage, I listened to 15 seconds of a Justin Beiver song and didn't burst into flames, though to be fair, 15 was all I could take before I wanted to beat him up and then beat up whichever Jonas Brother he stole that dorky ass haircut from. I did all those things that I always make fun of others for doing, and as a whole, I had a lot of fun doing so. I had felt I had lost connection and contact with the fan inside of me, and that all that was left was the critic, and though thats good for a lot of things, sometimes you need to hard reboot the system and get back to the basic understanding of what it is that makes you love what you do so much, after all, when a love becomes a job, whats the point of doing it anymore? You gotta rekindle that magic, and oh did I ever! But I gotta tell you though, through out all of my adventures in just being a fan of the industry, through all of it, I still hate The Hangover, I still hate Two And A Half Men and The Big Bang Theory, Avatar is still just Smurrrrrrrrrrfs Innnnnnnnnn Spaaaaaaaaaaace, and Thriller is still the coolest video ever made, so I guess in the end, though I've gained some refreshed batteries and rediscovered my love of what I do, the fundimentals are still intact, and thats all that matters. Oh and for those that are wondering, Inception? Yeah best movie sense District 9, it was so different and visually stunning, that it almost makes you forget the stole the concept from an invention created by Gyro Gearloose from the cartoon Ducktales.

Also if you read Smurfs in Space with an echo effect to make it sound like the old skit Pigs In Space from The Muppet Show, you get 50 cool points in the Happy Days Board Game of life, you also get 25 points if you knew with out googling what the happy days board game is a reference too, and don't say the classic American television series Happy Days, I would never give away points that easy.

So the world's greatest parent Joe Jackson has been talking to the media again, because I guess thats all he can do sense he's not allowed to beat Micheal's kids and his own kids are so old they can beat him up now, and his wife can just leave him whenever she wants with all of the king of pop's money. This time the guy that beat Ike Turner for greatest husband of all time (haha get it? Beat? Hahaha I'm so horrible) is claiming that the media twisted everything he did when raising The Jackson Five and the rest of their showkids, he actually claims that spanking and beating Micheal and the rest of them is what kept them “out of gangs and off drugs”, I'm not exactly sure, you know, not being able to understand the inner workings of a mind as complex and grandiose as Joe Jackson's, but I'm pretty sure that beating kids that by the time they were between 7 and 15 were already internationally known recording stars isn't exactly what kept them out of gangs and off drugs. One would assume the fact that they were internationally known stars by the time they were between 7 to 15 or so and constantly being pimped out by their worthless excuse for a father so he could take all their money was a pretty good reason not to be involved in gangs or drugs. But then again, as I said, I don't ever really expect to understand the methods of Joe Jackson, I just wish for once the grim reaper would take someone that deserves to be taken from this world, someone like, you know, Joe Jackson. Crappy ineffective grim reaper, seriously how is it that people like him are able to live, and make money because they're still in the public eye, but yet Maila Nurmi, who seriously needed to be given the respect she more then deserved in life, was almost broke and taken from life to early, life is unfair. Very unfair, seriously, fuck Joe Jackson, fuck him with Roger Ebert's cancery dick right in the ass. Worthless oxygen thief.

When did Kelly Osborne get hot? I mean seriously... when did that happen, where was I when that was going down? Oh thats right I was busy listening to Meghan Tonjes, thats what I was doing. Either way good for Kelly, atleast one of the Osbornes isn't an embarrassment to the world any longer. Totally a shame just how far the rest of them have sunk though, really is, but I guess thats what happens when you go from being the prince of darkness to a catchphrase.

Speaking of people that need to shut up, Kanye West needs to stop talking, seriously, his myspace blogging wasn't bad enough but now he's set (I think) some kind of record for over 200 tweets on his new twitter account in less then three hours. And guess what? Every single one of them was of no real worth or value, just more of his insane rambling, you read for afew quotes? Ok here we go, Kanye on his life; "Remember in Anchor Man when Ron Burgandy cursed on air and the entire city turned on him? But this wasn't a joke. This was & is my real life." .. erm.. so, you're an alcoholic white dude from a Will Farrel movie that no one understands why its a cult film? Mmkay. How about a quote from Kayne on Taylor Swift and all that... mess... “"I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won't take it then I'll perform it for her." .. ok so, you're gonna like, force her to do a song you wrote for her or you'll do it yourself? Kanye I'll mention the elephant in the room, you had “All Falls Down” and thats it, seriously choco-bro, just, seriously, he then follows that up with this nugget, “"When I woke up from the crazy nightmare I looked in the mirror and said GROW UP KANYE ... I take the responsibility for my actions … I am not a bad person. Even in that moment I was only trying to do good but people don't always need my help … Beyonce didn't need that. MTV didn't need that and Taylor and her family friends and fans definitely  didn't want or need that..” which was followed up by a post saying “I'm sorry Taylor..”. .. Ok I guess I'll be the heavy again, what the hell you stupid twidiot, how exactly were you doing good by rushing on stage at the biggest music award show in the world and stealing the spotlight just to tell us all what you personally think? How is that doing good? Where is the good in that? Where? Show me cuz I can't see it Kanye, I can't see it at all, and you know what? No one else can either. You say you don't understand why people want you to die or why you are so hated, for god sake man, open your eyes and look at what you're saying and doing the world over, its your actions that are making people hate you. You put up this front that you're some intellectual rapper with deep thoughts and other Jack Handy like things, but yet you constantly act and do the opposite. For god sake man, you claimed you were just like Jesus Christ because of how you're persecuted in the media and by people, do you not see whats wrong with things like this? REALLY? The world doesn't hate you for the sake of hating you, they hate you because you're an idiot that does nothing but try and make everything in the world about him constantly. Take your own advice and grow up, and if when you disappear from the public eye, if you could take your BFF Chris Brown with you so he can learn not to beat women and then bitch that its their fault his record sales aren't doing so well that'd be a great thing too. K. Bye.

Attention Canada, I need the new season of Durham County to start as soon as possible, k thanks. Also, UK, while I'm at it, new Misfits ASAP, that'd be right lovely thanks.

Speaking of, the fall television season starts here in the states soon, as useual there are many new shows that will be fighting for your viewership, as well as returning older shows, most of which I still just don't get why they're on the air to begin with. There are some pretty good shows in the works, readers of my blog know I gave a very positive and very excited for more review to ABC's live action take on The Impossibles, “No Ordinary Family” even if the title does suck, and they were able to find a Kitty Pryde and Lockheed action figure, which I still can't friggin find for under 80 dollars. This new fall season is gonna be abit strange, there is some good, some really bad, some right in the middle, and some just to either side of the middle, its kind of a mixed bag more then in recent years, but I guess networks are abit more cut throat now with the economy going to shit and such, or they're all just waiting for the day when NBC goes off the air, which really wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact NBC owns two of the better Cable networks that seem to dominate the ratings, I'll never figure that out, how a network that sucks at sucking can have secondary networks that thrive in the ratings and original content.. its a mystery unto me.

Anyway abit about the fall season, for those who are interested; promising pilots that look like they could go on to greatness? No Ordinary Family, Raising Hope, Hellcats, and assuming it gets put on the schedule at all, The Cape, though with its large amount of pre-season hype for a show thats not even mentioned on the fall, winter or spring season charts, The Cape, along with the completely unneeded remake of The Rockford Files, might end up being this season's Babylon Fields, hyped and prepped by a network, only to never see the air. For those that aren't aware The Cape is basically the story of a cop that dresses up in a superhero suit to clear his reputation and fight crime outside the law. Sure its basically The Punisher, or for the more hip out there, Big Daddy from Kick Ass but with out the creepy and awesome sidekick of Hit Girl, but with out the mega ultra violence. As for the rest, Raising Hope is a promising little sitcom from the creator of the canceled way to soon My Name Is Earl. Its about a teenage kid that has an unknowing one night stand with a female that turns out to be a serial killer, who is then caught and sent to jail where she gives birth to a daughter, who is sent to live with her father, who is a complete screw up and decides to make his life better for his daughter. Its cute and heart warming and has Cloris Leachmen thinking the baby's a pet, its really pretty awesome. And Hellcats is kind of one of those so good you can't stop watching, but feel kinda dirty cuz its a tween aimed drama about high school and how hard it is to be a teenager, its kind of everything Gossip Girl stopped being, but you know, about cheerleaders. Look for the remake of Hawaii Five O to fail miserably as well as duel life drama Lone Star that will be good for the first few episodes, then you'll get sick of the father explaining the plot almost every single time he's on camera, it will get seriously old seriously fast, trust me on this one.

Anyone else wondering what the point of canceling Heroes was when there are atleast 5 superhero or super power themed programs on the fall line up or airing right now? I mean sure the Carnival was a giant flop of a storyline, but come on, why cancel something and replace it with 5 things that are kind of the same? This isn't Law And Order here... Speaking of Law And Order, what is the point of Law And Order UK? I mean don't you guys have like 4 or 5 other shows just like it or better over there? It was under my understanding and my viewership, that y'all could do better then that.

In other let down news; The American remake of the brilliant Aussie drama “Underbelly”; could it be that it will be about the taking down of fictional mafia style crime families in New York City simply because your average American is unaware of the crime family wars of Melbourne Australia that took place between 1994 and 2004 and that there simply is nothing as far as gangland wars that they can draw on as facts here in America, well outside of the 1930s and 1940s anyway, and thats just been done to death. Interesting note though, word is, a lot of major Hollywood names want in on the American remake, which they're tempting stars with the description of “Its The Untouchables meets The Boondock Saints and The Godfather all in one..”, lets hope that it actually lives up to that pitch, personally I'm gonna be pissed off if this falls apart, almost as pissed as I'll be if the american remake of Shameless falls flat, but thankfully, that doesn't look like it'll happen from what I'm reading. Fingers crossed yo... fingers crossed.

Is it a good sign when people are buzzing and trying to scoop each other on exclusives about movies that are only in the filming stage? This has become more and more common place these days and I kind of have to wonder if maybe we, the internet based fandoms, are starting to take advantage of the overly abundant high tech we cary with us every day, as well as the seemingly new “come watch how a movie gets made” policy of most hollywood films these days. I'm kind of on the fence on it honestly, one hand, it really shows how hard a lot of these people work in making films possible, and it does give us the fans awesome little snippets we can turn into massive free PR for a film up to a year before its released, but on the other hand, it often spoilers the hell out of a film as well, and though yes, 99% of those of us who view or discuss or whathaveyou on set photos and the like will still go and see a film regardless, for some I can see how it can be abit of a bother, even a downside that they hadn't thought of before, so its hard to say really what is right. I mention this because I've become abit sickened as of late with some of these recent “taken on the set” photos and videos, and how people are bitching and complaining about things with out even really giving them a chance. I understand the internet is full of doomsayers and the like, but good lord, either educate yourself on things like stunt doubles and production or shut your mouths, in a year when the films you're damning because you saw a stunt double in a stunt suit instead of the star, come out in the next year or so, you'll forget all about your doubting and be all “I knew it'd be a good film” and shit like that, its kind of sickening and makes me wish I wasn't such a geek.

In related to said bitching news, my friend Rose could play a better Emma Frost in X-Men: First Class than January Jones from Mad Men ever could, even though Emma wasn't a founding member of The X-Men and was born in the 1960s when the next horrible attempt at making an X-men film is set.

In other fanboy bitchery moments, the American remake of “Let The Right One In” now titled “Let Me In” is going to suck like Carrie Prejean trying to win a beauty pageant, its completely unneeded and does not seem to really have the same spirit as the Swedish version, which was just so perfect. Also in the world of soon to be shitty remakes, the American remake of the great brit series Being Human is going to be horrible, I mean the theme alone makes me wanna puke some sort of acid that'll dissolve it from this plane of existence.

You know what movie had an awesome soundtrack? Like more awesome then you'd expect it to have? Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls. Seriously, for a film that was written by that cancer on this earth that now has cancer, Roger Ebert, before he became the world's most douchey critic, the soundtrack is with out a doubt a hidden gem, its late 1960s drug culture rock at its best, like I'd almost say it rivals Tommy or Rocky Horror and the like in greatness. Seriously, seek it out , and try not to groove in some way to “Find It”, or any of the like 30 other tracks on the soundtrack. Brilliance, just pure and simple brilliance.

Anyone else wonder what the hell happened to that supposedly mindblowing remake of one of my personal favorite films “...And Soon The Darkness” that was getting insane respect last year at film festivals? It was supposed to hit american theaters and then dvd by this point in 2010, but yet, its not here. I'm curious and can't find a copy anywhere so I can see what they changed.

So its time for some of what I do best, yep, thats right my happy little Hanna Barbara drawn children that solve mysteries with the help of your talking dog / talking dune buggy / talking shark / genie / caveman / spirit of a revolutionary war hero / wisecracking robot / catchphrase spouting robotic dog / former president of the united states / inch high private eye, its that time again!!! Its time for some good old fashion Uwe Boll hate. Yes thats right, my nemesis in life, horrible German director and guy that beats up people that say his films suck dead mammal testicles Uwe Boll, is at it again, apparently he's upset that crapsterpeaces “Zombie Massacre” and “Bloodrayne 3: The Third Reich” are not even being touched by American distribution companies, claiming that not even direct to dvd outlets are willing to release them, he ofcourse claims that this is some how “character assassination” put forth by director of The Transformers and Impresario Of All Things Awesome(tm) Michael Bay, who Boll claims is secretly trying to ruin his career because he sees him as a threat, claiming such things as Bay has been ducking him sense declining Boll's boxing match offer over 18 months ago, and claiming that not only is Bay taunting him in interviews, but he's also slandering him to people of note and power in the film industry, and that its his way of trying to ruin Boll's career, Boll has claimed that his upcoming film Auschwitz because it will “make Bay's Transformers franchise look like a series of box office bombs” claiming that “that film series fanbase is so small and unknown that this film will make more then all three combined”.... yes he actually said this... Sigh alright kidlets, get your splatter gear on, Big Daddy's gonna go Gallagher on das watermelon.

First off Uwe, you ignorant pissbag, your movies aren't finding release companies because they suck at being films, seriously, you are delusional at best and egocentric to the point that I almost think its a mental illness if you honestly believe that anyone really cares about your attempt at ruining the Zombie Massacre video games by bringing them to film, or that you're continuing to ruin the bloodrayne franchise by making more films in it, the reason no one wants to release your stuff is simply that you just aren't that good, no you are worse then bad Boll, you're horrible, you are horrible at making movies, and at being a person, seriously, you beat up a guy outside of the red carpet premiere of Postal, which btw, was held at a seedy theater at the docks in Trenton New Jersey and no one of note actually went too, simply because he said your film about George Bush and Osama Bin Ladin saving the survivors of world war 3 was offensive, and you wonder why people don't want to put out your films? Really? REALLY? You insult Michael Bay all over the internet, on your website, on your vlog, and anywhere else that people will let you talk, simply because you are jealous. You're jealous because he's a complete jackass and people love him for it, but you're a complete jackass and people think you're the next Adolf Hitler. You know what the difference is? Its simple, Bay, though a jackass, makes films that range from moderate to amazing, and makes more money in a week then you make in a year, people don't care if a guy is an asshole if they make great stuff, look through history, some of the most noted people in pop culture are total jackasses but they made amazing things, and people still love them. You, well, you're just an asshole who makes really shitty movies that no one watches except maybe losers and that one misguided grindcore guy I know, but he doesn't count cuz he likes grindcore music. You are just jealous because you won't go down in history as “the greatest director of all time” like you claim, you'll go down in history as a joke. Boll, you are no Fritz Lang, or Cecil B. De Mill, or James Whale, or Alfred Hitchcock, or D. W Griffin, or Robert Altman, or Akira Kurosawa, you aren't even another Ed Wood, you're just a friggin joke that claims Bert Reynolds as a king of some sword and sorcery kingdom was a brilliant idea. Seriously, stop, just stop, for the good of your country, stop.

Wow I haven't hated on Uwe Boll in awhile, it felt good, real good. So good I might one day do like a list of reasons he sucks. Maybe this way he'll finally accept my offer to box him like he claims he does with critics. I stay true to my belief I could knock Das Pudgensnitzel out in one round, Rubin Carter style.

So this new movie Legend Of The Guardians, yeah I liked it better then first time it was made, when it was called The Secret of NYMH and was about mice, not owls. Seriously, owls? Unless its Charlie Owl from New Zoo Review and he's singing about the human reproductive process, I could really care less.

So there is another Saw film coming our way this year, and this time, it'll be in 3D! I have sort of grown luke warm on the Saw films to be honest, they were pretty good up until the last one, where they just have stretched the concept so far and so thin that its just starting to become unbelievable and almost painful to watch. Its kind of become a parody of itself, much like the massive slasher franchises of the 1980s, where after about 4 movies they'd run out of plot and just start embarrassing themselves. I understand the idea of making many follow up films in a series, the James Bond series has always been known for that, the Dirty Harry series and Star Trek as well (I don't count Star Wars because thats two seperate sets of three films 30 years or so apart), and there are many others too, but in the cases of slasher films, the many follow ups just don't work, see slasher movies are like porn movies, they cut right to the action and for 90 minutes or so, give you just the action and some horrible dialog, in a sense, instant gratification. And sure that can be great, a lot of these recent slashers turned thrillers have proven that, but Saw, well, Saw would be fine if they didn't kill off the main protagonist in the second or third film, you can't keep going copycats and the like forever, and if the lead is some undead killing machine, you can't just keep on bringing them back from the dead with out explanation, it just doesn't work. I'm really hoping that this is the final film in the series, not because they're bad films, so much as I just think the plot is run its course and needs to be ended. Leave it open ended so somewhere down the road someone could make another one somehow reworking the plot or something, but its time to rest, seven years with a new Saw movie every year is good enough for now.

Some oddity news, next summer should see the release of a hollywood version of the classic fairy tale Hansel And Gretel, but oh wait, its gonna be worse then you think! It shall not be the film of two fat children vandalizing home of an elderly old woman who lives alone in the woods and then cooking her, it shall be the story of these two children 15 years after they sadistically killed that poor misunderstood old lady, where they've become the best in the world at hunting and killing Witches, because apparently in the old world, any misunderstood old lady that lived alone in the woods away from town was seen as a witch for some reason or another. Meanwhile I'm just sitting here wondering what the hell the point of this is gonna be? Its just such a horrible idea, oh yeah lets make this creepy old world story about delinquent children who destroy the property of, and then torture and kill an old lady in a twistedly sadistic way, an old lady who just wants to cook them cookies, because she's lonely sense her kids and grandkids moved away because her daughter's husband got a job at a factory playing 20 red rupees more a week then the pitchfork factory in town. Damn, Hansel and Gretel are jackasses, for real yo.

So filming has started for what many people are saying will be the next Cloverfield, once again from directing mastermind J.J Abbrams, this time called “Super 8”, rumor has it, the title comes from the type of camera used to film the entire incident. Involving an alien that crashes to earth and runs amuck in a small west virginy town just destroying things, and its all seen through the lens of this Super 8 reel to reel home movie camera thats found after the incident, sort of Cloverfield style from what I hear. Though to be fair a lot of this could be wrong too, after all J.J likes to confuse the general population when it comes to his films and what they're about, you know, because he's awesome that way and likes his privacy. Whats funny too is, this, as you would expect, is bringing up all sorts of debate on if first person view films are really a good idea, and debates on if Cloverfield and films like it were really worth all the time it took to make them, and then it just goes worse from there. Its funny really how a concept could bring so much anger out of people when its really a good idea and a great concept that really brings you “into the film”, but I guess haters gonna hate.

Well thats about it for this installment, we're gonna be about half a page or so light this week because there just was so little real news this time out, I hate that. I really do. Anyway, time to end this with afew random shots like I always do...

Dancing With The Stars, yeah no thanks. No thanks. I've fallen in love with the music of Beth Hart all over again. I find it really funny that I was listening to Mira Craig and Aloan years ago, and now all of a sudden I'm starting to see them show up on lists of people that think they know their stuff about music, its pretty hilarious really. I am so damn sick of waiting for Durham County to start again, seriously Canada, get on that. I can't believe I almost went a week with out making fun of Uwe Boll. “No, Not That Kind Of Pudding!!”. The greatest word ever created was ofcourse “Pickleweazel”. I am really missing the hell out of The Trailer Park Boys these days, I know half the cast is gonna be back in a new mock reality show, but still I miss the hell out of that show... not so much Conky though. I seriously hate Big Brother, and wish they'd do an American version of Dead Set, but this time it be real zombies going to kill the housemates. Seriously if you haven't seen the film “Rock And Rule” you really gotta. New Fringe soon! Not so liking this idea for the new American Idol, but then, not so keen there is gonna be that an X-Factor: America airing at the same time. Kangaroo Jack was a horrible movie. I still hate Dudley Moore. Adult Swim stopped being funny a long time ago for the most part. I can't believe my friend Ashley had never heard of Tennessee Tuxedo until I facebooked a video of him the other day. I wanna create my own My Little Pony, it'll be black with purple and red highlights and be named Emomuffin, and it'll come with its own razor to cut itself and a notebook to write about how depressed it is.... And finally..... I never did see the final episode of Lost... and I'm somehow ok with that.

And with that, we bring to an end another edition of The Reality Shock, sorry for the big gap between installments, I shall work on that in the future, but until then, to all of you, Blessid Be.

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BC