In Defense Of Agents Of SHIELD

The Voice Of Nerd Logic:

In Defense of Marvel's Agents Of SHIELD

It occurs to me recently that the tide of nerd public opinion has changed toward the first live action attempt at a tv series from Marvel Studios in decades, I am speaking ofcourse of Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D, now many things could account for this uptick, the fact the show deals directly with the aftermath of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and infact one episode taking place during the third act of the film, even though you don't see the cast in the film sadly, or that even before that the pace of the series and its storytelling started to pick up speed and, to many, finally feel like a Marvel product, or the fact that they're finally starting to include and mention lots of characters that might not be big headlining names, but are infact key background players more times then not, or any many of other nerd nitpicky reasons for why people disliked the show at its start. Personally, I loved it from the start, and i will continue to do so, and because i seem to be in the minority, i would, if you all don't mind, like to express my reasoning and logic behind my love of the program, instead just bandwagoning.

Now i will be the first to admit, what we got at the start, might not have been what we expected, i am under the understanding that most people believed that they were gonna get a Marvel Studios movie every single week with SHIELD taking down baddies every single week, and though that would have been awesome, I think people got alittle ahead of themselves, i think most people forgot in the context of the movie universe, the whole idea of a superhero is new, or atleast a still emerging thing, Nick Fury will have you believe it was basically Captain America and The Howling Commandos fighting Hydra and The Red Skull back in  World War 2, and then until the appearance of Iron Man, there were really no superheroes to speak of, atleast thats what we're lead to believe, so the idea of superbeings, super science, aliens, all of that is still new and mostly unknown to them, remember, Avengers: Age Of Ultron will be the first time they even out and out say there are mutants, because i can't see them explaining Pietro and Wanda Maximoff and their powers as science projects with out basically giving a middle finger to decades of character history and the fans.

Now, think about that for just a second, we're playing in a universe were superheroes, supervillains, fringe science, mutants, and space travel are all brand new things that no one has really dealt with yet, while to us fans, and viewers, we know of all these things, and wouldn't find it out of the normal for Fury to be sitting down playing poker with Wolverine, Thing and Rocket Raccoon. But rather then jump into that end of the pool, Marvel is slowly easing us into that, think of it like we're at the front of the expansion of the universe back in the 1960s, but just, in movies, not in the comics. It takes time to build a world, you don't just start out and have people with powers fighting in the streets of New York City when you're basically only taking your first few steps.

And in that fact, is one of the reasons i love this show so much, we have time to tell a proper origin story for characters that need a bigger explanation then cosmic rays, radioactive spiders, gamma bombs, or any of the other things that were pretty much ok to glance over in afew pages back in the 1960s, and were eventually expanded on as time went on, we have time to tell a story of how someone came to be, a good example is how the show has brought about their take on Deathlok, a longtime fan favorite character with a very muddled and confusing origin in the comic books, but in SHIELD, which takes place with in the marvel movie universe, they've been able to give you a full flushed out history, where you get to know him and feel the tragic behind him and his story, he's not just a killer cyborg from the future, or a rogue fringe science faction that somehow went wrong, or any of the other many versions of the character their has been, thats truly telling a story, sure its not as nice and neatly packed together as say the first act of most of Marvel's movies are, and some could argue that it took abit to long, but when you look at it as a whole, and you discover that Deathlok was a science experiment turned into another experiment by Hydra, for once actually making the character someone you can feel for, not just "omg half man, half robot, ALL GUNS XTREME!!" like the comics. Maybe they did take alittle long to get to it, but a well flushed out character creation is to me, better then a rush just to get to the action story with no substance, i am looking at you Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World.

 

As for the characters and the writing, which is something else people have complained about to a large degree, as much as i don't want to admit it, you need to write a tv show of this nature with an ease in, meaning you can't just drop people in the middle of post Avengers New York City and toss together all these new characters and expect them to work together with out the tropes that every show about about a group of loners and misfits going on to become an elite force for good have to go through to solidify themselves as a team. So yes, you're gonna get standard issue episodes like, the socially awkward one and the confident one team up and save each other's lives, or where the one that seems to keep their distance from everyone else proves they are the most loyal of all, and the implications that one character is secretly in love with another, or any of the other tropes that us comic book people don't feel we need to see because we know what SHIELD is, and that they are full of more misfits and oddballs then G.I Joe AND Cobra could fathom in their wettest of wet dreams, but what the comic book fans need to understand, this show, to produce and continue, has to be watched by more then just comic book fans, it needs to bring in a larger audience, and by not introducing these characters to the bigger viewership, they won't know who is who and why they need to care for them, and though no one wants to admit, the first half of the season, which was all the trope episodes, had to be done so they could move on, to stories like Sif and Lorelei rumbling hot asguardian chick styley in New Mexico, or finding out who Deathlok is, or who the Clairvoyant is, or all the post Captain America The Winter Solider fall out, all great things that we were able to get to because they had time to happen naturally and not rushed.

As for those who don't like Skye, I submit to you this, no one really likes the "fan window" character, oh sure we got lucky with how awesome Clark Gregg plays Phil Coulson, who was, if you all remember, a fan window character, infact Coulson was a comic book nerd who grew up to work with superheroes, he literally is living the dream all us nerds dream, but i think with how good of a character and how popular he became, people forget for every Coulson, or Jarvis before he was an A.I program, you also have Marvel's original window, Rick Jones, who though they have tried for decades to make interesting, they just couldn't do it, Rick traveled with the Hulk, Captain America, Captain Mar-Vel, Rom The Spaceknight, worked for The Avengers, discovered for like 30 seconds he had something in him called The Destiny Force that he only was able to tap into once, in his over 50 years of character history, and until recently, when he was turned into a hulk like character calling himself A-Bomb, no one honestly cared about him one bit.

So its ok to hate Skye if thats your thing, personally, I don't really see the point, i mean in theory, every superhero or heroes has to have a sidekick or butler or someone that we can see through the eyes of an understand them on a human level, sure its annoying, but it makes for good story, even if she should be kept in the plane and just operate the computers from there instead of going out in the field and sucking at being an agent, but, again, its something you just need to look past and not let it get to you, like outrunning a fireball in a movie, or a bullet stopping once it hits a glass window in a car, or really a stray bullet of any sort not hitting anything, that sort of stuff. Its nothing to be overly critical about, it'll take away from the bigger story, but thats just my way of thinking.

As for the show's lack of villainy, remember, this marvel universe is just starting out, so you need to see the creations of both heroes and villains, they don't just show up, or if they do, we do get some kind of explanation, but think about it, we've seen through this show already, the creation of Blizzard and Graviton, and we've just seen Blackout, the one that uses the darkness dimension not the ghost rider baddie, and they out and out said Blackout has superpowers, oh and we've also thanks to the show seen our first Kree, before Guardians Of The Galaxy even!, so they're slowly bringing building the universe, remember you need to bring in the D and C listers as well as the A and B listers or you won't really have different tiers of characters, so you need to add the Turner D Centurys, Doctor Bongs and Batroc The Leapers, as well as your Red Skulls, Dread Dormamus, and Thanos', its all part of the building, which really, is something people need to understand is something we take for granted I think.

Anyway, thats my take on SHIELD and why in all honestly its alot better then most people are willing to give it a chance. Something for y'all to think about...

---

BC

The Reality Shock 3.0: Episode 1

The Reality Shock 3.0:

Episode One:

“Back Once Again With That Old School Swagger”

Hello everyone, its been a long time hasn't it? For those of you who remember my old version of this column, I thank you for coming back after my 3 year break, as for those of you who've never read the old version, well, get ready for abit of a crazy ride through the world of entertainment as I drop some truth, knowledge, and blunt reality on all of you if you are ready for it or not, because I am back once again to spread the gospel of the truest and most passionate out there, sure its not what the entertainment world wants you to think, its that passon and love for these things that are why I decided to come back to this, because so many out there ask me what I think on matters most entertainment, and I feel the time is right, the landscape isn't completely bleak and drab and full of nothing but horrible rehashed and reused and watered down into mush at the moment and that is where I like it, I like variety, I like knowing some nights you gotta flip a coin on what show to watch and what show to DVR/Download as apposed to just watching one show each time its on, simply because there is no other choice. Anyway, with all of that out of the way, let us all rejoice, for I am have returned, with my wit as sharp as a osafune katana, and my reality as blunt as a sledgehammer swung by Deadpool, so with no farther delay, lets dive headfirst back into this... and lets hope we don't flop harder then Louie Anderson's fat ass on that horrible celebrity diving show Splash....

Anyway.... A'Room'a Zoom Zoom.. here we go!!

Ok first thing I would like to touch on is something thats rather near and dear to my heart, and the thing i've been asked about the most, I am talking of the 50^th Birthday of Doctor Who. For those of you that know me, you know I am a life long fan of the series, and can truly say, its one of the few bright moments from my childhood, with that being said, I will answer outright, I really didn't like the way the show's birthday was handled. See, its rare that a television show makes it to 50 years, let alone that its still on the air when it makes it to that age, let alone that its the longest running series in its genre, and a global juggernaut with fans that make Twihards, Juggalos, Bronies, Trekkies, and Star Wars Nerds combined look smaller then the group of middle aged virgins that still play Magic: The Gathering, or if you're too old for that reference, smaller then the group of middle aged virgins who still play with Pogs, and if you're too old for that reference, smaller then the group of people who didn't return their copies of ET the Video Game for the Atari, and if you're too old for that reference, tough shit I’m not going back into the 1970s for a reference for this joke I already beat into the ground. Anyway my point is the fans of Doctor Who, or “Whovians” as they're called by people that want me to punch them in the face for saying the word whovian, is the largest fanbase on the internet, it literally spans three generations, grandparents, parents, children all united in their love of a mad man with a blue box who travels through time and space having adventures and thwarting shrill voiced salt and pepper shakers with plungers and egg beaters for hands, a global audience of well over 50 million viewers world wide.

Now I mention this only as a means of expressing just how large of a viewership they have for the program and the love those viewers have, now, taking all of that into account, don't you think it would be wise for the BBC to make a big deal, and celebrate a series that has endured everything from being put “on hold” for over a decade, to being a radio program, to an online web series, to audio books, and back to tv, but in the end, what do we get? Afew “retrospectives” on each lead to play the role, a television movie about the early days of the show, an anniversary special that seemed to have been written over an afternoon and wasn't even what they were promoting it to be, followed by a Christmas special that made very little sense and just seemed to be a means of dumping one lead for another, this might sound like a lot, but the problem is, honestly, other then the movie about the early days of the show, “An Adventure In Space And Time”, the BBC totally dropped the ball on this. And though I would love to put all the blame on them, the truth is, its not at all the fault of the BBC, the fault lies as much with show runner Steven Moffat, who wrote the two specials, and pissed fans off last year by splitting last year's 13 episodes into 6 last year and 7 earlier this year, he claimed “starving the audience for new episodes” would guarantee high ratings, when all it did was piss people off, forcing us to be subject to your stupid high concept crap that doesn't make any sense, and when we do get the show, the episodes being lackluster at best, isn't gonna make us happy we waited, its just gonna piss off long time viewers, you also don't mispromote a program simply because you know its what people would like to see. When you start lying to the fans, the loyal fans, whom your job depends on, the fans get mad, and when they get mad, they stop watching. I hope Moffat learns that lesson, and I hope the BBC does too... course looking at how the BBC is treating Top Gear, I doubt they've learned anything. Shame really. Still though, if you have time, catch “An Adventure in Time And Space”, it'll give you the feels something hardcore.

So there is gonna be a musical based on the life and music of Tupac Shakur, it'll be called “Holla If You Hear Me...” and open in London soon, this will either be the greatest attempt to bring hip hop to the legit theater world, or it will crash and burn worse then Spiderman Turn Off The Dark.

Speaking of Spiderman (epic segue for the win!, also extra points for spelling segue right instead of “segway”), I would like to express my worry over something else i've been asked about a lot lately, the second Amazing Spiderman film and the next X-Men movie, and well I guess comic book movies in general recently... Now lets start with Amazing Spiderman 2, now, lets face facts, there will never be a perfect spiderman movie, you will always get an actor thats a great Spiderman, or a great Peter Parker, sadly, its nearly impossible to find anyone that could be perfect as both, Peter Parker is meant to be the nerdy guy that no one notices is cute because of his nerdness, and that he's only able to express his true self, behind the mask, you just have to take whatever you can get and be happy with the middle ground, likewise with his cast, you either cast his family and friends perfectly and the villains horribly, or the villains right and his family and friends wrong, this being said, I feel with the current series of movies, they've done as well as possible with casting Spiderman, and as good as possible casting his family and friends, Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy? Oh hell yes. But sadly, much like the trilogy this new series of movies is meant to reboot and save us from, the weakest casting is in the villains, though I give them props for going with The Lizard as the first film's big bad, and proving you can do a superhero movie with just one bad guy, but all the headway they made, proving you can make a credible Spiderman film, is about to be forgotten in this horrible mess that is going to be Amazing Spiderman 2, cramming in B-List baddies Electro and The Rhino as the major threats and shoehorning in The Green Goblin just for shits and giggles, it just won't work, it'll give each villain roughly one act each, but that just isn't how movies work, someone's gonna be forgotten quicker then Malekith the Accursed in Thor: The Dark World (Oh don't worry, we'll get to that in abit), and let alone the changes they've made to make the characters so far changed from the comic book originals that its almost like they're trying to just pander to the non-comic audience, and that.. I just don't like. I can deal with Electro being black and looking like a homeless person, instead of a dumb white two bit criminal turned lightening bolt, but The Rhino isn't a dude in a mech suit, he's a former wrestler who was enhanced with speed and strength and through an accident got stuck in the suit he wore in the ring, a rhino suit, sure that sounds stupid to most, but, its better then a pale little shitwipe like Paul Giovani inside a mech that looks half like a rhino and half like a bear with a gun on its back... I am seriously worried this film will tank because the studio just wanted to character grab.

I am also worried about the next X-Men movie, X-Men: Days Of Future Past, not only is this movie, the follow up to the amazing X-Men: First Class, being handed to the director who killed the first X-Men trilogy by taking the greatest X-Men story ever, The Phoenix/Dark Phoenix Saga, and turned it into a no sense made at all b-story, who instead of taking the hint that no one cared about his story anymore, because, you know, it ruined the x-movies, has decided to take the movie all of us fans loved, and force it into the old storyline he's already proven wasn't what people wanted. Whats worse is he's using the ever not handled properly in films that don't involve a DeLorean or H.G Welles, trope of time travel through the mind, where the past and the future try to correct the present, it just... ugh. Days Of Future Past was another amazing X-Men story, but it didn't involve time travel, it was a stand alone nightmare apocalypse story, back when you could write a story of that nature in comics and it not be a “giant crossover event that changes (place comic book name here) forever” or something stupid, it wasn't anything like this, and though I understand the need to change things for the wider audience, I just don't understand the giving it back to the man who ruined things the first time out, thats just like creating a masterpiece of art and then paying a homeless man thats been living off scraps outside of a indian take out to take a crap on it while singing one of those post civil war super offensive folk songs no one wants to admit were popular at one point in time. Whats even worse, they're already trying to hype up the movie that will come AFTER this one, before its even out, which really worries me, you don't do that, oh sure, we knew that Avengers was coming four movies before, and we knew with Lord Of The Rings and Star Wars there were more movies coming after each one that came out, but like, you didn't see articles on movie sites or comic book sites talking about the next film BEFORE the current one hits theaters... that seriously worries me, a lot, its as if they're saying “hey, this movie is gonna utter dog shit, but look what we've got coming next if you stay with us!”, classic deflection and that just... I just don't know, I don't like it.

Now, you might think I'm just having a bitchy whiny fanboy rant with this, but you see, the thing is, as a life long lover of comic books and related material, I always want to see anything related to them do well, I want to see movies set box office records, and tv shows hit ratings highs and bring some amazing characters and amazing stories to either the big or small screen, even if they are from books I don't read or care for, because, well simply, the inspiration, and the wonder that they bring, oh sure, I hate Superman, but who knows, some kid, maybe a little girl in Egypt named Elena might see him take flight with Lois Lane in his arms and be inspired, with alittle help from her uncle who's a brilliant American writer/critic/columnist to write what could be the ultimate Superman story, or create her own character who will become loved the world over, you never truly know.

But I do know, at this point in time, comic book movies might be at the point where the bubble bursts, and that worries me, in a world where Marvel has basically half assed its two big films that followed up Avengers, yes, thats it, I’ve said it, and I’ll say it again, Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World, where NOT adequate follow ups to a film as giant as The Avengers, I understand there has to be dealing with fall out, but they could atleast advance toward the next film, Iron Man 3 introduced us to AIM, who will play very big into the tv series Agents of SHIELD, but at the same time, turned Iron Man into a terrified little school girl, thats NEVER been Tony Stark, not even at his drunkest, was he EVER scared of what he does, he sucked it up, downed a bottle of expensive vodka, smacked Pepper Potts on her sweet ass can and handled his business, no matter what happened to him in life, thats how Tony Stark do. As for Thor, well, I'm amazed they didn't just edit the villain, Malekith The Accursed, the dark elf king, out of the film entirely as to fit more Loki into it, its like that sickly third world albino african orphan Eric Ortwine I sponsor was saying the other day, “they should have just called the film Loki's Revenge and left Malekith out of the film entirely, sense he only shows up for three scenes, and they only use his name twice..” it just goes to show, if a sicky third world albino african orphan can see how obviously lacking something was, that means you really need to take a good look at it and fix it. Marvel is playing the extra long game now, branching its movies off into more obscure places and leading to bigger team up films, with rumors of major storyline “Civil War” being in the works as long as our already setting up saga of Thanos and The Infinity Gauntlet, this is a dangerous cliff they're hanging over, and they need to make sure they don't fall off. Also, they need to make sure when the time is right, they do Thanos Quest as a movie, just to hear him say the final lines in the book on film, if they do that, I can die a happy man.

Its not just movies by Marvel that need to get their act in gear I should add, in a world after Nolan and Bale working on Batman films, and a world where, lets face it, Man Of Steel was by no means a blockbuster, even if they are acting like it was, the film barely made 100million, which actually was less then it cost to make, thats not a blockbuster, thats barely breaking even, but yet, they're still going on with the next one, and seemingly destroying the whole thing in one shot, cramming a completely miscast Batman and Wonder Woman, as well as a rumored Denzel Washington as the black Green Lantern, and rumors of casting The Rock as a major character also, all into one movie, it just seems so stupid and so wrong, and it just screams talent grab and money grab, a totally wrong and horrible money and talent grab to me, as well as proof whoever is making the films for DC Comics truly has no idea what the hell they're doing.

Ok, comic book related rant over... now onto other things...

I would like to now talk about something thats probably an issue we're gonna only deal with here in America, verses a problem all around the world, I am talking about Syfy, a network devoted to science fiction programing the world over, now, when I look at their programing in other countries, its pretty good, pretty sci fi, but here, well, things are just going wrong. I don't understand how a network that claims to be the definitive science fiction place on television the world over, can clearly no idea what you're doing or who your target audience is, or what it is they like. I will used for examples, afew questions and answers from recent social media question/answer sessions between programing heads and viewers, I feel they will help me prove my point. Recently, when asked why the network has stopped showing classic sci fi series enlue of day long marathons of modern in house made programs, some of which are current and some are canceled, the head of programing claimed “our viewership doesn't want to see older sci fi series like V, the original Battlestar Galatica, Misfits Of Science, Lost In Space, or even comic book based shows like The Incredible Hulk, WonderWoman or the short lived Captain America and Spiderman live action programs from the late 70s, we feel they have no interest in such things, they'd much rather watch programs like Farscape, Fact Or Faked, Stargate SG1, Ghost Mine, Haunted Highway or Paranormal Witness.. there is no demand for classic sci fi, anyone that wants that, owns it on dvd/blu ray anyway.” Umm... NO. You're just more then likely lazy and really have no idea what the hell you're doing programing for a science fiction themed network, because you probably were a brown noser who wanted to do programing for a big five network, well tough shit blanko nino learn to do your damn job or step down. More proof of what i'm talking about, when asked later on, if the network was going to air classic sci fi movies or monster movies, or even kaiju movies (Godzilla, Mothra, Gammera, ect..) with the recent increase in popularity thanks to the surprise hit of Pacific Rim, they were treated with the answer of, “we as a network believe that older sci fi movies, monster movies, and kaiju films, are no longer what syfy viewers want, we feel they would rather watch movies like Sharknado, Ice Spiders, Sharkipus, or Jersey Shore Shark Attack instead of films staring people in foam rubber suits stomping over scale model cities...” … You starting to see what I mean here? Did you read that last statement? Seriously, read it back afew times, let that sink in, thats a head of programing for a network that averages 13 million viewers a week, clearly having no clue about their viewership. Seriously think about that.

Now while you're thinking about that, also take this into note, this is the same network, that felt the best way to create original programing was to cancel five of their top ratings getting shows; Destination Truth, Alphas, Warehouse 13, Eureka and Ghost Hunters International, to clear up 100million dollars to produce a television show called Defiance, that honestly, wasn't all that good of a program, oh sure, it allowed us to watch Jaime Murrey make out with other chicks, but aside from that, in all honesty, Defiance fell short of the bullseye they were expecting to hit with it. Now think about that too, they cancel five programs to make ONE show with 100million dollars, where in the fuck did all of that money go? Because it sure as hell didn't all go to that show's production, the F/X alone prove that. Honestly I've no idea what they're thinking they're doing... I just don't. My only real hope for them this year is that they don't fuck up the American airing of The Almighty Johnsons, a favorite series of mine from New Zealand they're airing this year, though with edits, you know, because far be it from American TV to air nudity and swears.. and hopefully it'll lead to an American remake, because they said the series itself is dead in the water down where its from, sadly.

Terms I'm hoping we leave in 2013 and never see again; “yolo”, “manscaping”, “man cave”, “obamacare”, “twerking”, “honey hole”.

Terms I would like to see become more popular in 2014; “Haberdashery”, “Shtaco”, “mimiograph”.

Interesting fact, the soon to be released Mr. Peabody and Sherman movie isn't because of the popularity of Doctor Who, which it is a lot like, nor is it because of the adventures of me and my friend Rose, the plucky young lass who assists me, its simply just when a proper script was given to the company that holds the rights to Jay Ward's creations.

I was recently filled with joy and adulation when I heard the news that not only was the french television series “The Returned” a hit when broadcast here in the states, and that though there are many series in the same vain starting in the near future, that there will be an american adaption on ABC called “Resurrection” airing soon much to my excitement, don't get me wrong, I don't mind watching subtitles with my tv, well unless its a spanish soap opera, then I just make up the plot till the hot women start smacking each other Dynasty style, but its good to also get a well made adaption of a program into a language that doesn't involve me remembering all I did in french class was stare at my hot french teacher and not really learn any of the language.

For those of you that don't know, The Returned is the story of this small town in France where one day, out of the fog, comes many of the people who died in the last few years, they come out of the fog, perfectly healthy looking and not aware of why they're brought back, they just are. Its based on a novel, but its also a lot like a french movie from afew years back called “They Come Back”, the same movie that fueled the creation of the once doomed to never go past pilot, but now thanks to this craze will see the airwaves revived for series “Babylon Fields”, which long time readers will remember is a personal favorite of mine, also word is FOX is adapting the film to series under the name “They Come Back”, so we'll wait and see just how many zombies and zombie like creatures are coming to tv soon, after all, it can't be worse then what they did to vampires... sigh.. oh how I miss the days when vampires weren't the metrosexual well dressed possibly gay friend to every lonely teenage girl.... that reminds me, I hate teenagers.

Time for many of you long time readers favorite segment, the list of what I'm watching these days, well here goes, separated by country; From the USA: Revolution, American Horror Story, Sleepy Hollow, Almost Human, Once Upon A Time, Agents Of SHIELD, Grimm, Space Dandy,The Tomorrow People, The Walking Dead, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, Under The Dome, Defiance, Fallen Skies, Warehouse 13, Haven, Banshee, The Following, Justified. From the UK: Doctor Who, Utopia, Lightfields. From Canada: Orphan Black, Lost Girl, Bitten, From AU/NZ: Nothing Trivial, Auckland Daze, The Strange Calls, Twentysomething, Upper Middle Bogan, Wonderland, Winners and Losers, Serangoon Road, Underbelly, Top Of The Lake, Wentworth, Nowhere Boys, The Almighty Johnsons, Tricky Business. From Other Places: Hellfjord (Norway), The Returned (France), Real Humans (Sweden), Hard (France), Love/Hate (Ireland), Trivia (Ireland)... There are some more there but I can't think of them as I write this, the curse of late night writing I guess.

And for those of you who are more of the music listening kind... The list of what I been jamming to lately; “Born And Raised in Lowell” by Kevin G. Moore, “The Man” by Aloe Blacc, “Bang Bang” by Monophonics, “How I Learned To Pray”, “To Young To See”, “Can't Fix Whats Not Broken”, “Love Don't Die Easy” by Charlie Worsham, “Nutbush City Limits” by Beth Hart, “Bad Moon Rising” by The Mourning Rituals, “Rap Viper” by Wordburgler, “Dress Blues” by Jason Isbell, “Here's To Never Growing Up” by Avril Levine, “Wild and Lonesome” by Shooter Jennings, “Old Fashion Morphine”, “All My Love”, “Burnt Toast”, “I Like You Better When You're Straight”, “Know Your Roots” by Dallas Frasca, “Soldier’s Song” by Stevie Nicks, “Into The Mystic” by Jen Chapin, “If It Hadn't Been For Love”, “Ghosts Of Mississippi”, “Sticks That Make Thunder”, “Midnight Train To Memphis”, “Where Rainbows Never Die” by The Steeldrivers, “Gimmie Head” by The Radiators, “Flame Trees” by Cold Chisel and I think thats enough for now, but there are more as you always know... curse my love of music.

No one is watching Trisha Paytas' youtube channel for her “wit and incite” into the world around her. Also, most of you just went and googled Trisha Paytas, half of you just went “oooooooooh” the other half just wished you'd had the time it took to google her back. However all of you are wondering if I mean my statement sarcastically or not.

Really Snoop Dogg? You're doing adds for loan agencies in other countries now? Really? Did you smoke through all that Snoop Lion money that fast? Hahaha I'm just kidding, his Snoop Lion project never made any money.

I was hoping that I wouldn't have to touch on this, but I’ve gotten a lot of questions of what I think of this matter, so I figure while I’m speaking from the pompatus of reality, I should address the issue of one Phil Robertson. For those of you who don't know who Phil is, he is the elderly head of the Robertson family, the family behind the not really reality series Duck Dynasty, who recently said some rather homophobic and racist statements in an interview with GQ magazine, and its pissed off a lot of people. Now, the matter of free speech aside, here is the facts that people seem to forget, Phil is a 70 year old man with xenophobic and technophobic tendencies and is incredibly antisocial. Anyone thats seen atleast one episode of the series is aware of these things, he constantly refers to anyone that doesn't live in the woods like a hoarder like he does, as “yuppies” and claims his own grandchildren disgust him because they were raised in large beautiful homes, go to good schools and have cellphones and various computer devices, he refuses to do interviews with any reporters or business people who do not believe in god or will not pray with him, he also refuses to learn about the world outside of the world he created for himself, he is no different then any other old southern man in his age group, so why, would it shock anyone that he would have an issue with gay people? Honestly, have you not seen the show? There was an episode where he had to deal with an obviously gay photographer taking family pictures, and Phil was insanely rude to him, constantly making cracks about him going back to the city, and after shooting a squirrel out of a tree proclaimed “I bet thats the first time you've ever seen one of those isn't it?” and then mocked him for having never eaten squirrel. Seriously this happened, lord knows the network its on airs the show in long enough blocks most days, have a watch he totally does this. I don't know why his beliefs surprise anyone honestly. This is normal behavior for those raised as he was, and where he was, its just old folksy beliefs, nothing more.

And also to make my other point on this matter, honestly, why is it a big deal who does and doesn't like or accept gay people? Now don't get me wrong, I have no issues with homosexuals or homosexuality, I believe whatever makes you happy is your business, and honestly, why is it, in 2014, we still feel the need to care what others do in their own bedrooms, or Burger King bathrooms, or where ever else one gets their end away? And in the same vain, why are there people who feel the need to make examples and spectacles of people who do have an issue with gays? What is the point of pointing out their beliefs, sure, I don't agree with them, but they've their right to believe what they want. I just wonder if maybe its just witch hunting for the sake of witch hunting, because, you know, witch hunts have always turned out so well for people in the past. Seriously, I just wish people would leave people alone and not care what is going on in the lives of people they don't know or care about, its just wasted energy. Energy that could be better spent twerking or ghost riding a whip, or parkor or planking or whatever other stupid thing people are doing these days.

Now that we've settled that, I promise you, that will be the closest to serious news this column will ever become, now back to the normal fodder...

You wanna know what saddens me? That the film The Knights of Badassdom didn't get any love when it was in theaters for the very short time it was, honestly, it was a who's who of people the internet loves, in a movie about a LARP troop fighting zombies, aside from the fact its the only group to not fight zombies on the big screen yet, its also such a crazy idea that it almost makes it, in theory anyway, as brilliant as Dead Snow, remember, the Jews vs. Nazi Zombies film from afew years back? Yeah now you do, and now you're pissed you forgot about it. Ah well, atleast the next Muppet movie is coming out soon.

And thats where we're gonna end things this time around, but, before I go, I always do, I shall leave you with afew random thoughts to ponder until we next meet....

I have seen imagery and toys from the new ninja turtle movie, its gonna suck more then Megan Fox did to get her role in it. I don't get why ABC is going to take The Wizard Of Oz and give it the Once Upon A Time treatment, did they not learn with Wonderland? Why is Cee-Lo Green still a thing? Thank you Guardians Of The Galaxy for giving me Rocket Raccoon in movie form, life needs more foul mouthed insane giant gun packing space raccoons. DC Comics are a bunch of homophobic idiots. As he reads this, Lord Bez is Fandangoing. I don't find Cedric The Entertainer all that entertaining honestly. Seriously, they're remaking Kirk Camron's horrible Left Behind movies for the big screen with Nick Cage? Honestly, does he have any shame? I mean really? I wonder if people take heavy hallucinogenic drugs and watch In The Night Garden, because I'm pretty sure you gotta be tripping balls to make sense of it in general.

And thats it for this time around... so, till next time you crazy little Wottingers... blessid be

Chris

Bah...

I really should get around to posting all the reviews of the movies i saw over the summer, I was just so busy with the food review site launching that I didn't have alot of time for this one... I need to fix that.

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BC

Sigh....

What the fuckity fucking fuck Spiderman? First Spiderman 3, then Turn Off The Dark, now whatever the hell this is?

'
Seriously, what the hell are you doing here? Its like you are redoing that Jewel video Intuition but not sexy. Well ok maybe for the ladies it is, I don't know, but ugh... god what the hell man? First all that shit Dan Slott does to you, now this? damn spidey..


just... damn..

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BC

About Roger Ebert...

Remember Roger Ebert

 

I know this is afew months over due, but, well, honestly i wanted to sit down and truly thing about this before I wrote it, i wanted to choose my words carefully, and make sure I express things in the proper way before anything is misconstrued. After all, most know my dealings with, and thoughts on the late Roger Ebert weren't exactly what one would call favorable most of the time, and the last thing i would wish would be for anyone to believe I am one to kick dog shit in a person's grave as its being covered in dirt.

I would like to first state, that though we never truly agreed on things on a personal and professional level, I always had respect for Roger, after all, with out him and those early trailblazers that took movie reviewing from a novelty much akin to early weather forecasting, into a legit form of news, he gave it credibility, dignity, and he proved that with a simple extending of the thumb up or downwards was as powerful as any marketing and promotional department could ever dream of being. He proved that with just afew lines, the opinion and ideas of an entire nation could swing for or away from any film, truly proving that the power really does lie with the people's general opinion.

I always jokingly knocked Roger for his writing the screenplay to Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, which though most might not believe it to be, is truly one of my favorite grindhouse films ever made, its got everything that makes a film truly grindhouse; drugs, naked women, free love, and one of the greatest soundtracks ever created for a film. Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls was one of my first encounters with grindhouse, long before i ever knew there was a genre, and even longer before I knew the word or its meaning, in sense, had that film never been made, I might have never gone down my path that led me to where i am now, maybe i'd have gone on to be a race car driver or a cowboy astronaut fireman playboy millionaire superhero or something, instead of what i am, a guy who was able to take his escape from being anti-social and turn it into a pretty fun time reviewing movies. i'll always thank Roger for that, even though i'd never say it to him personally lol.

i want it to be known, though I always critically bashed Roger in his later years, I always respected him for all he has done up to the last few years, when, I felt he had lost his way, though to be fair, I honestly think after Gene Siskle died, he truly started to stop caring as much as he did, and it would eventually trickle down more and more until he started to do sloppy work, hating a movie for the sake of hating a movie or because you dislike the genre is one thing, we all do that at times, but when you mis up characters and scenes that you are using as examples of why you dislike a film, thats just sloppy first day on the job stuff, and i always felt Roger was better then that sort of mistakes or errors. See I wasn't ever angry or mad at him, as a person, it was angry at what he was becoming, instead of the man he is, and had been for decades before, the man that inspired three generations to express their passion for moving film, and to explore the world of film outside of just what hollywood tosses at you, shouldn't be remembered for mistakes that an amateur would make, it was kind of like when you're a kid and you find out Mickey Mouse at Disneyland is just a guy in a bad smelling foam rubber suit, or when you discover that your favorite race car driver is boring as hell in person, if any of that makes sense.

So in the end, I'm gonna do what i think all of the rest of you should do, remember Roger however you wish too, hopefully back when he was healthy and vibrant and would excitedly yell at Gene Siskle for giving away the twist in The Crying Game, or any of the other hilariously passionate arguments the two of them had over the years. Thats when he was in his prime, and thats when i choose to remember Roger.

Hang loose Teddy Bear..


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BC

Worst Television Of 2012

I would like to first apologize for this being so late, I've had a slue of delays and I didn't wanna abandon the project unfinished, all seems sorted now, so I can finally finish this, yay me!

2012 In Review:

The Best And Worst
.... And Afew Things Inbetween

Part 4: Worst Of Television

Ok so we've finally come to the final leg of this, the worst of television from the year that was 2012 in television, sorry this took so long, just alot of stuff went on in between time and i had to go dig up stuff to make sure shows and movies i wanted were from 2012, and not like, the year before or this year, or some other crap. but anyway, here we go, right into the last straightaway with the pedal down, oh and be prepared this one is gonna get pretty sarcastic.

Alright, lets get to this... a'room'a zoom zoom!

Worst Television Series Of 2012

 American Horror Story: Asylum

Now, before you rip me to bits like rabid fanboys, let me explain my thoughts on this, I would like to first start out by stating i was one of the biggest voices cheering for the first season of this critically and audience loved series, it was brilliant and envelope pushing beyond what non-pay television here n the USA had seen in a long time. And with that said, like most, I happily and excitedly waited for its second year, and its new story to begin, with high hopes and excited mind, i wanted to see this amazing hive-mind of writers, who were able to sweep almost every award show that gave out awards for television the year before, take on the dark and twisted world that was 1960s mental asylums, with all the crooked doctors and nurses who didn't care, and all the crazy religious fanatics who believed they could cure mental illness through religion. The whole idea just seemed tailor made to let them run with. The problem was though, they let them run abit to wild with things, and what started out as an interesting story about a group of mentally ill people, a possible nazi war criminal hiding as a staff doctor, and a reporter trying to expose the mistreatment at the asylum, slowly became a bloated, overly complicated, and under producing story that just seemed to cram as many different sci fi/horror plots into one story, in a sense, stuffing the story until it burst at the seems, it was just to much for one season, it wasn't for lack of trying, it just seemed to get away from the writers and, well, by the time they realized it, it was to late, it had all gone horribly wrong and the crazy train was so far off the rails not even Ozzy Ozborn could have gotten it back to where its supposed to be. Lets hope next year's story "American Horror Story: Coven" makes up for this mess, else this might be the next Heroes, by which i mean a show with a brilliant first season and then it takes the slow slip and slide ride to horrible tv junction.

Worst Drama Of 2012

 The Mob Doctor

I don't really think this one was much of a surprise for anyone, I ripped this steaming pile apart when I saw the pilot, touting it as the next Lone Star, meaning a series that on the surface looks awesome, but on a second look, you notice that its so flawed its painful, and has atleast one character that their whole reason for being in the show is to remind you of the premiss every single time they open their mouth. Its just painful to watch and so very hard to stomach honestly. I understand that complex shows sometimes need a character to remind you of whats what and who's who, and all of that, but honestly, this just had the plot beat into you every chance, ok we get it, she's a doctor that has to work for the mob though she doesn't want too, ok we get it, thank you, continue with your story, assuming you have a story, if not, just shut your fucking mouth and not let things get to far. Stuff like this just proves that for the few good episodes they had, that we need to kind of come back to the old days of anthology type tv shows, maybe as a means of creating a pilot for a spin off series and testing it before it goes to production? Seriously, we need to get back to stuff like that, because if they were to run this as part, it'd maybe be a 5 part series, then it would be done. The story just wasn't there to keep this thing interesting, or worst getting invested in.

Worst Comedy Of 2012

The Mindy Project

I know there might be some flack for this one, but, I just don't get it. I didn't find Mindy Kaling funny on The Office, and I don't find her funny in this, where she's doing some weird mix of her character from the office and every female lead in every romantic comedy ever made. Seriously, i just don't get it. People are all "oh this show is funny" and i'm all "no, its not, one or two funny lines per half hour does not make a show funny, it makes it lazy." but to each their own i guess. Kaling plays a rather dumb and annoyingly spacey doctor in her late 20s, in what seriously sounds like it was a rejected pitch to a Renee Zellwiger project that help her cling to the last bits of her non-Bridget Jones related fame, plus her cast is just plain annoying, they're all snotty uppity dickheads who think they're all that there is in life or have their heads up their asses, its just plain annoying, and when they try to change things up, by either doing something actually funny, or attempting to show off that Mindy Kaling is moderately attractive, it just ends up failing epically in what looks like it should have been an outtake every single time. Seriously, I just don't get it, maybe there is something funny there, but i'm not seeing it.

Worst Animated Series Of 2012

Allen Gregory

Hollywood, are you listening? Good, get this through your heads, JONAH HILL IS NOT FUNNY, oh sure, he can play a second or third stringer in a funny movie, or even a moderately funny film, but on his own, he's the worst, he makes David Spade and Norm McDonald seem funny. Yes, I just said that. Seriously this series was just horrible, and all involved should be burned at the stake... thats all.

Worst Sci Fi Series Of 2012

Merlin

Oh, how i have been waiting for this trainwreck to slide just far enough over the line from "So bad its funny" and tumble into "just totally utter shit" as it falls off the cliff into the shit abyss of disrepair and depression. And in its final season, it finally happened. Now before i get to far into it, i'd like to state this show has always been a tad shit. but it wasn't the kind of shit that was just painful to watch, it was campy and goofball written to seem like serious sci fi, it never had a chance, it was historically inaccurate to the point it was painful, and it was almost comical how they made King Arthur, one of the most important fictional characters of all time, and made him nothing more then a really really stupid self absorbed spoiled rich kid that has utterly no clue whats going on around him. Both of these things became painfully evident in the final season, as well as the show's lack of creativity to create proper villains, it was constantly Merlin, Arthur and Co. against Morgana Pendragon, Arthur's banished sister, whom they never mention is his sister after the third season. It just got so painful in the end, like how the show basically forgets its ban on magic in Camalot, which is the whole reason why Merlin is nothing more then a manservant in this version of the tale, or the fact that for a guy who's ment to hate magic, Arthur sure as hell goes running to his people that he knows know how to use it, and yet, is willing to have outsiders of his inner circle that use it put to death. Its just full of giant plotholes... seriously, this show started out as camp filler till Doctor Who aired, and just became total and utter crap by its end. I wouldn't even bother watching it till the end, because the ending is just utter shit as well. Seriously, just go watch something else instead.

Worst New Show Of 2012

Outcasts

Oh boy, oh boy! If you ever wanted a guide on how to NOT write a sci fi mystery set on another world, this would be it, this trainwreck had just enough shit factor to force out The Fades as the worst possible new series from 2012, and as you all know, with my love of sci fi, its painful to give a bad review to anything of that genre, well not Merlin, because it really really sucked dead donkey balls, but everything else, whole other story. As for the plot of Outcasts, its a vaguely told mixture of a space opera, a western, a murder mystery, political drama, and just enough of a hot welsh girl named Fleur welshing about to keep you from falling asleep each episode, ok well almost, you'll still nod off at some points. As for the story, its sort of hack and slashed together from various other sci fi series and films, humans out among the stars in a post earth world, living on a harsh planet that might have a lifeforce of its own and just might not want us living on it, clones that were banished to the outlands during a paranoia agent spreading rampant among a population, said clones become sort of like native americans, or any other people that are one with the land. the whole time they're trying to find supplies and waiting for more settlers, with harsh weather and political and social mysteries afoot. Oh and apparently, humans had been on the planet they're on before millions of years ago or something... honestly I stopped caring about this awhile ago...

Worst "One And Done" Series Of 2012

AKA "So Glad It Didn't Last Long"

The Fades

On paper, The Fades sounded like a great idea, the story of angels dealing with rogue ghosts here on earth using super powers and whatever, again, it sounded good ON PAPER, in creation and execution however, not so much, not so much indeed. You start out meeting Paul, an awkward depressed child who really only has one friend, and through a series of events, you discover that Paul, literally comes back from the dead, and is infact, an angel, though in this series angels are protrayed like Shinigami or Soul Reapers or a Redeemer of sorts, dealing with what they call "Fades", which are ghosts that have been on earth for long periods of time, simply because they don't know what their unfinished business is. Along Paul's journey, which he takes with his annoying best friend who talks in pop culture references, mostly star wars ones apparently, and his eventual girlfriend Jay, Paul discovers he's not alone with these powers, he eventually meets Neil, who explains that Paul, like him, is what is called an "angelic", and that its their job to deal with the fades. Neil is a horrible waste of life really, a scotish drunk who spends his time either forcing and manipulating others to do things his way, or if he's not doing that, he's beating up, pullling a gun on, or kidnapping and torturing those he calls his friends. Seriously, Neil is a prick. Anyway, the story parts that aren't about Neil's douchebaggery, are about how the Fades have discovered if they eat the flesh of z recently dead being, they once again are given flesh. Its a really complicated and really stupid story honestly, is so full of holes it sad, its almost like they decided telling the story of Neil's dickery was more important then the concept of the story, seriously it was shit. I was seriously expecting more a guy that wrote the bulk of such great shows like Skins, Shameless, Cast Offs, and both This Is England '86 and '88.

The Sophomore Flop

Smash

I know, alot of you right now are saying to yourselves "But BC, you love Glee, how can you hate the show thats basically Glee for the more adult viewers? Its just not possible!" well sadly, those people saying such things, either didn't watch the trainwreck that was the second season of Smash, or they just enjoy when something brilliant, becomes something utterly pointless, boring and just drifting by on its one time success. See, Smash, season 1, was excellent, it was brilliant and wonderful and it had only enough Angelica Houstin that you didn't spend time wondering what the hell happened to her between The Aadams Family movies and here, but season 2, when it wasn't trying to literally unwork everything done in season 1, or trying to force two new and utterly bland characters with their vague and confusing half assed musicial on you, all the show did was spin its wheels and have everyone cat fight. Seriously, this show was such a great, fresh, new idea for NBC, but now, they ruined it, as they do with most things that become hits for them, its truly a shame, because they really had the start of something here, but now we'll never know just how far they'd have gone with it, will we?

Ok well thats it for my best/worst of last year, sorry again for this one being so late, but, real life duties called and i couldn't put them aside, i've got a backlog of stuff to get put up soon, so expect more posts from me in the near future... so, until then, blessid be.

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BC

Best Television Of 2012

2012 In Review:

The Best And Worst

.... And Afew Things Inbetween

Part 3: Best Of Television

So because I am a completest at heart, and also a glutton for punishment, i decided to continue my review of last year's best and worst with the best and worst of Television, simply because, well, why not? 2012 was a pretty odd year over all really, alot of good, alot of bad, alot of WTF and alot of stuff that on paper shouldn't have worked but really did, and became very enjoyable. So lets have us some fun once again, and drive right into what was the best, the worst, and the WTF of last year in tv, just, remember, diving in isn't like diving into Scrooge McDuck's money bin, because believe it or not, diving into a several mile high bin of gold coins and moneys, is gonna be sold and painful to land on, it won't be like diving into a pool or something....

Anyway, with that said, lets get right to it... climb aboard the great space coaster, and away we go!

Best Television Series Of 2012

Fringe

Five years ago, the brilliant J.J Abrams and the writing staff behind Micheal Bay's Transformers films and the current Transformers series Transformers Prime, embarked on a journey, taking from the foundation built by shows like The X-Files and mixing the impossible of classic sci fi, and the excitement of cloak and dagger style mystery, basing it in Boston Massachusetts,  a hub of supernatural for hundreds of years, they called their series Fringe, and oh, how it was a thing of beauty, right up to its very sad end. Fringe started out as just a regular sci fi mystery series, but soon it evolved, it evolved into the story of Walter Bishop, a sort of Dr. Frankenstein who was framed for something he did not do and has spent the better part of 20 years in a mental ward south of Boston, he is released by Agent Olivia Dunham, who had to first track down Walter's estranged son Peter, because Walter could only be released into a family member's custody. Walter is released into a world where all of the super science, or "fringe science" he, like his father before him, had spent his whole life working on, has been sold off and weaponized to the highest bidder. Setting up shop in Walter's old lab at Harvard University the three of them, along with a FBI codebreaker named Astrid form a small group referred to as "Fringe Division" designed to counter and fix anything related to Walter's work thats gotten out into the world. From there the show would just go into mindblowing places, duel universes, time travel, so very many different ways that most sci fi shows only dream of. Sadly though Fringe ended its 5 year run this year after what could be the best 13 episode story arch in all of sci fi tv history, and for that, I have given Fringe my show of the year award for 2012.

Best Drama Of 2012

Banshee

I know alot of you out there are abit amazed that I am going with a rookie for best drama, but, as you know, when something is worthy, i like to give it the respect it deserves, even if thats not the popular opinion, I know most critics went with the easy choices like Downton Abby or Homeland or Breaking Bad, or anything of that ilk, but I've always thought outside the box, unless I was playing a Metal Gear Solid game, then i'm all about being inside the cardboard box of destiny, but thats a whole other matter. Anyway, though it was mostly overlooked by many, i happened to have loved the series Banshee. Part In Plain Sight, part Outrageous Fortune, part whatever that boring Kevin Costner movie where he kills that dude in a rowboat and takes his identity, Banshee is a smart, brilliant, dark, and delightfully twisted story set in a fictional town in Pennsylvania Amish country called Banshee, where our lead, an unnamed former thief comes to find his expartner and lover after 15 years in jail, so he can get his cut of their last big job. He finds her married with two children and having gone amish on him, as fate would have it, the new town sheriff is killed before he can make it to town, so our excon takes up his name and job as a means of not only being close to his partner, but to hide from the man they both ripped off years ago.  Seriously this is a great show, if you haven't seen it yet, you really should give it a look, but start from the start, otherwise you'll be confused.

Best Comedy Of 2012

Mrs. Brown's Boys

I actually had trouble originally coming up with a winner for this one, in a year when alot of comedies came and went and were forgotten as fast as they'd appeared, and when afew that just aren't funny seem to have proven staying power (I am looking at you The Mindy Project..), it seems that people only were caring for existing shows that made them laugh rather then looking for new places to give their gafaws and chuckles. And though the older shows seem to be staying pretty much as fun as they've been, I wanted something different, something unique, and after basically being beat over the head with a frying pan to try the irish sitcom Mrs. Brown's Boys, I decided to give in and give a try. I've learned from this, not to wait so long when beaten over the skull with a pan to see a series, for you see, this show, which is basically part Tyler Perry as Media in all of those horrible movies everyone hates but he somehow makes money off of still, and part classic american sitcom Mama's Family, and set in a place thats living room looks alot like the season one set of The Cosby Show, is undoubtly one of the funniest things I've seen in recent years. What you'd think is a show just about a foul mouthed old irish women played by a man, is really a series about not only her, but her rather messed up children and friends, all of which at times get their lines in, but in the fashion of Mama's Family, its always Mrs. Brown that gets the killer ender lines. This series is one of those thing I wish we here in the states didn't have to seek out online to see, because its truly a comedic gem, and one worth sharing with the entire world. So if you know where to find this hilarious future cult classic, by all means give it a go, you'll love it.

Best Animated Series Of 2012

Ultimate Spiderman

Now i know alot of Spiderman purists hate this show, they've down right called it the worst spiderman cartoon ever made, worse then Spiderman Unlimited, which, if you've seen that steaming pile of 1990s, is really a massive insult. And though they're welcome to their opinions, lord knows I have mine, but, in a world where the spiderman comic book as spent the last few years just piling WTF ontop of WTF and adding even more WTF just so they don't run out of it. Seriously from Spiderman trading his marriage to Mary Jane and destroying 40 years of marvel history, just to bring Aunt May back to life AGAIN, all the way up to finding out recently that Doctor Octopus bodyswapped with Spiderman at some point when he found he was dying of cancer, and thus, Peter Parker died in Octavious' body, and his "ghost and memories" inspire Doc Ock to be the "superior spiderman" (seriously, that actually happened recently). Anyway, my point is, in a world where the comic book is all over the place, and arguably in its worst state sense the whole Clone Saga of the 1990s, that there is still something out there that gives you the true feel and joy that is Spiderman. This show, creating its own pocket universe where teenage Peter Parker is recruited into SHIELD by Nick Fury and not only given insane amounts of SHIELD tech to help him in his fight on crime, but he's put in charge of a group of orphaned teenage superheroes (Teenage versions of Nova, Iron Fist, Luke Cage and White Tiger), claiming that these things will "take him from the amazing spiderman to the ultimate spiderman". And though the show takes alot of liberties with characters and its take on classic Spiderman mythos, it at its core, is what Spiderman is all about, watching a young hero no different then most of those reading the comics, fighting super villains and though his home life is angsty, he still manages the funny and awesome that makes Spiderman who he is. Its part sitcom, part superhero adventure, and has a healthy dose of nostalga easter eggs as well (There are two hilarious spoofs of the opening to Spiderman and his Amazing Friends that will make you laugh outloud). All this, and much more are why you should give this show a look if you're a nerd friendly cartoon viewer... need more? well, look at the above picture of Spidey in a jetpack... there ya go.

Best Sci Fi Series Of 2012

The Almighty Johnsons

i wrote about this show recently, and got alot of good feedback from new viewers to the series, which is always good, it also works out pretty well that its one my favorite shows of the last few years, and is also one of the most unique and creative ideas in the last few years as well. Set in modern day New Zealand, The Almighty Johnsons tells the story of reincarnation, prophecy and love eternal, the short less complicated version is, it centers around the modern day reincarnations of norse gods. The original norse gods fled the viking lands in the 1850s and landed in new zealand, where they settled into normal lives and began to create families, as each god or goddess died, they were reborn again in the body of a child of a god and a goddess, though you don't know which god they are, until they turn 21 and gain your god name and some of your powers. Among the reborn gods, there is a belief that once Odin is reborn, and he finds his reborn wife Frigg, they will fall in love again, marry and once they do, all the gods and goddesses will be returned to their full powers and status as gods living in Asgard. The series starts as we meet Axel Johnson and his family on his 21st birthday, where its revealed that he is infact the rebirth of Odin, which puts him and his brothers on a hunt for "the frigg" in hopes of making the legend reality, along the way they encounter other gods both good and bad and inbetween, Maori gods, and christian godhunters who believe only their god can exist, and any others are an abomination. The series does a great job picking the right personalities for the right gods, Hel is a bat shit crazy goth girl, Loki is a slimy pile of shit lawyer, Thor is a completely insane goat farmer who spends his days pegging rabbits with his hammer from miles away, seriously its a great concept and a great cast, and though i might make it sound abit choppy, trust me, its a wonderful series and just a joy to watch, seriously if you wanna give it a look, please do so, you will enjoy it.

Best New Show Of 2012

Revolution

Now, I know long time reader Mojo is gonna give me alot of crap about this one, but, to that i always counterpoint with the fact his opinions don't count because he is reads DC Comics that aren't Batman related and somehow thinks Mark Harmon doesn't eat babies covered in barbecue sauce, but thats a matter for another time. Anyway, I just can't get enough of this show, maybe its because I'm a massive J.J Abrams fanboy, or I just love the fact post apocalyptic stories are finally getting some sci fi respect, and that they're making them look believable now, not like, set just in a bunker or underground city or in space or whatever, I mean if you've watched Revolution, you can clearly see the detail, Wrigley Field in Chicago, looks like Wrigley Field would look in the story's timeline, so does everything else! For those of you who haven't watched the program, here is the basic outline of the plot, with out afew key twists that will ruin the whole thing if i tell you.. 15 years ago, with out any warning, an EMP like wave swept across the United States, and they believe the entire world, knocking out everything that needs electricity to run, so cars, lights, computers, power plants, jets, helicopters, ect, basically everything that we know as common place. Flashforward 15 years, to where our story begins, in a world where we're settled into a mid-1800s at most lifestyle, plants have overgrown cities, all of that, but humanity has survived, and thrived, even if the US is now broken up into territories held by different militant groups, who control their lands and live on the edge of war with each other, well except California, everyone just leaves Governor Afleck and his crazies alone. The story starts in suburban Michigan where we meet Charlie, and her family, as officers from the ruling body of their area, The Monroe Republic, come looking for her father, claiming he is needed to help them with something, Charlie is out hunting at the time and comes home to find her father is shot and her brother has been kidnapped, thinking he can help them as well. Charlie then sets out with her stepmother Maggie Foster, and a family friend Aaron Pittman, go off to find Charlie's uncle Miles, a war hero who can help them get her brother back. By telling you anything after that would be dropping major spoilers, and I really don't wanna do that, the show is just so awesome, seriously, give it a try if you haven't already, its just awesome.

Best "One And Done" Series Of 2012

Last Resort

Now, long time readers will know what my term "One and Done" means, but for those of you that are new, or for people that don't retain memory all that well, let me explain this term, "one and done" is a term I came up with years ago in reference to the series Prison Break, where I stated "it had a great first season, it would just been amazing television if it was just left as that, one and done, it would have been amazing.", sense then, its become a term for shows that were canceled before they should have been, as well as a term for shows that though canceled after one year, told an amazingly good story in that one year, that works as a great stand alone series. Last Resort falls into the side of this with the shows that stand alone as a single, powerful, and downright epic story. Last Resort is a political thriller mystery that dares to tell a story that doesn't put the government of the united states of america in the greatest of lights, it tells the story of the nuclear submarine USS Colorado, a top of the line submarine that is testing out a top secret underwater cloaking system in the indian ocean off the coast of Pakistan, when they get a distress call to pick up some Navy Seals who are in need of a emergency pick up, The Colorado responds they are near by and will pick them up, once they've picked up and radioed they have the Seals onboard, they get a mysterious order sent through the old mostly forgotten cold war emergency back up station on Antarctica giving them an order to fire two of their nuclear missile load at Pakistan. The ship's captain, Marcus Chaplin believes this odd, and calls the pentagon for confirmation, believing sense he's friends with the secretary of defense, he should be able to confirm the order, simply so he doesn't fire for no reason, not wishing to cause an international incident. He is promptly ordered to fire the missiles without question, with threat of court-martial, he refuses to do so until he Secretary of Defense himself gives him the order,  in the mean time, another ship, the USS Illinois, actually fires two missiles into Pakistan, and then tries to sink The Colorado, which gets away and takes control of a small island with a NATO missile tracking station on it, by the name of Sainte Marina, where Chaplin broadcasts to the world that he, his troops, his ship, and its nuclear missiles, are alive and well, declairing they have taken control of the island and stating anyone that attempts to attack them, shall meet with their full force, and demanding they will only come home to the united states once their names have been cleared or they've been given the chance to put their case to the people in a civilian court of law. From there the series involves political and military take over attempts, rogue foreign agents, black ops teams, hostile governments looking to take the Colorado for themselves, and a local despot who believes himself a god when he knows all it will take is one order and he, and all he has repressed the island's people for, will be gone. Seriously check this one out once the series is released, and if you can, get the blu rays, because the scenery and the sub shots are just amazing in HD.

Show That Shouldn't Have Failed But Did

Terra Nova

Now when we first saw the previews of Terra Nova at ComiCon 2010, with the belief we were to get the series in January 2011, the world collectively shit a brick, this was one of the best ideas in television in a long time, its premiss, was so awesome we all wondered how we hadn't touched on it before. Set in the far flung future, where we've basically destroyed the earth, you need special air tanks to breath outside of your homes, and you can only have a limited amount of children under penalty of jail time and death of the child, the world is nothing more then a dead husk and humanity is running out of time. Scientists develop a means of what they believe is traveling backwards in time, a means they hope will save the planet somehow, but they discover, when they hear back from their rest probe, they not only traveled to the past, but to a different timeline, and from there, their plan start to send back people and in a sense, rebuild humanity using the untouched, unspoiled world of 85 million years in the past, but this time, get things right, and not destroy the planet, to make it all better, to give the world a free start, oh as long as they can deal with the dinosaurs. Yes, didn't i tell you that part? There are dinosaurs that roam wild all around them. Now i admit, the series started out great once it finally came to air, rave reviews, the nerds rejoiced, and we were all happy, we had everything we could need in a sci fi series; time travel, alternate realities, futuristic dead earth, the guy that played the general in Avatar, a chick that looked like former wrestler turned actress turned porn star Chyna but not being her, rebels, awesome transportation, and dinosaurs.. except as the series went on, we got less and less of alot of these things, by which i mean we got alot less dinosaurs, which is ofcourse what we were all watching for, the crazy violent angry dinosaurs we were promised by means of the pilot and the promo material. Sadly, the budget cutting of that nature is what killed the show, which is really sad, it was pretty good while it lasted.

Show I Thought Would Second Year Flop But Didn't

Once Upon A Time

I had abit of a hard time coming up with an honor to give this curious little ABC series, I wanted to give it an honor for not only cultivating an incredibly rabid fanbase, seriously "Oncers" make House Fans seem like jerks that spend all day on WebMD, oh wait, they are, anyway my point is the fanbase they've cultivated is insane hardcore, and thanks to that, and incredibly good writing, that both fits realistic and fairy tale logic, has proven they still have their magic in the second year, and with ratings at a massive high, they'll be easily sliding into a third and possibly more. I honestly must admit, I was worried about this series though, when I read that in its second year, not only where they using characters from fairy tales and folklore, but they wre even adding Disney characters into the series, I was cringing at the idea, but then I saw not only how they were doing this, but why, and I was very relieved, and very surprised that Disney would let anyone write Mulan and Sleeping Beauty as as either bisexual or lesbian. I guess Disney is loosening up in their old age eh? The other thing that saved this awesome little series about fairy tale characters brought to our reality by a curse, is the constant scene stealing by irish character actor Robert Carlyle as nightmare fuel Rumpelstiltskin and his real world alter ego, Mr. Gold, the rich pawn broker who owns most of the town the series of set in. I was so scared for this series last year, but I have to admit, it not only continued to climb after its amazing first year, but it hit the ground running in year two and kept going faster then a horse called Shadowfax ever could. (haha see what i did there? I'm so clever.....) Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, if you haven't seen this wonderful series yet, get right with that, sure its two years in, but those two seasons of catch up with fly by, for reals.

Well thats it for the best, next comes the worst, and then we're back to reviews and a commentary piece i was asked to write up.... So till next time... onto the next!!


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BC