Friday, June 28, 2013

Worst Television Of 2012

I would like to first apologize for this being so late, I've had a slue of delays and I didn't wanna abandon the project unfinished, all seems sorted now, so I can finally finish this, yay me!

2012 In Review:

The Best And Worst
.... And Afew Things Inbetween

Part 4: Worst Of Television

Ok so we've finally come to the final leg of this, the worst of television from the year that was 2012 in television, sorry this took so long, just alot of stuff went on in between time and i had to go dig up stuff to make sure shows and movies i wanted were from 2012, and not like, the year before or this year, or some other crap. but anyway, here we go, right into the last straightaway with the pedal down, oh and be prepared this one is gonna get pretty sarcastic.

Alright, lets get to this... a'room'a zoom zoom!

Worst Television Series Of 2012

 American Horror Story: Asylum

Now, before you rip me to bits like rabid fanboys, let me explain my thoughts on this, I would like to first start out by stating i was one of the biggest voices cheering for the first season of this critically and audience loved series, it was brilliant and envelope pushing beyond what non-pay television here n the USA had seen in a long time. And with that said, like most, I happily and excitedly waited for its second year, and its new story to begin, with high hopes and excited mind, i wanted to see this amazing hive-mind of writers, who were able to sweep almost every award show that gave out awards for television the year before, take on the dark and twisted world that was 1960s mental asylums, with all the crooked doctors and nurses who didn't care, and all the crazy religious fanatics who believed they could cure mental illness through religion. The whole idea just seemed tailor made to let them run with. The problem was though, they let them run abit to wild with things, and what started out as an interesting story about a group of mentally ill people, a possible nazi war criminal hiding as a staff doctor, and a reporter trying to expose the mistreatment at the asylum, slowly became a bloated, overly complicated, and under producing story that just seemed to cram as many different sci fi/horror plots into one story, in a sense, stuffing the story until it burst at the seems, it was just to much for one season, it wasn't for lack of trying, it just seemed to get away from the writers and, well, by the time they realized it, it was to late, it had all gone horribly wrong and the crazy train was so far off the rails not even Ozzy Ozborn could have gotten it back to where its supposed to be. Lets hope next year's story "American Horror Story: Coven" makes up for this mess, else this might be the next Heroes, by which i mean a show with a brilliant first season and then it takes the slow slip and slide ride to horrible tv junction.

Worst Drama Of 2012

 The Mob Doctor

I don't really think this one was much of a surprise for anyone, I ripped this steaming pile apart when I saw the pilot, touting it as the next Lone Star, meaning a series that on the surface looks awesome, but on a second look, you notice that its so flawed its painful, and has atleast one character that their whole reason for being in the show is to remind you of the premiss every single time they open their mouth. Its just painful to watch and so very hard to stomach honestly. I understand that complex shows sometimes need a character to remind you of whats what and who's who, and all of that, but honestly, this just had the plot beat into you every chance, ok we get it, she's a doctor that has to work for the mob though she doesn't want too, ok we get it, thank you, continue with your story, assuming you have a story, if not, just shut your fucking mouth and not let things get to far. Stuff like this just proves that for the few good episodes they had, that we need to kind of come back to the old days of anthology type tv shows, maybe as a means of creating a pilot for a spin off series and testing it before it goes to production? Seriously, we need to get back to stuff like that, because if they were to run this as part, it'd maybe be a 5 part series, then it would be done. The story just wasn't there to keep this thing interesting, or worst getting invested in.

Worst Comedy Of 2012

The Mindy Project

I know there might be some flack for this one, but, I just don't get it. I didn't find Mindy Kaling funny on The Office, and I don't find her funny in this, where she's doing some weird mix of her character from the office and every female lead in every romantic comedy ever made. Seriously, i just don't get it. People are all "oh this show is funny" and i'm all "no, its not, one or two funny lines per half hour does not make a show funny, it makes it lazy." but to each their own i guess. Kaling plays a rather dumb and annoyingly spacey doctor in her late 20s, in what seriously sounds like it was a rejected pitch to a Renee Zellwiger project that help her cling to the last bits of her non-Bridget Jones related fame, plus her cast is just plain annoying, they're all snotty uppity dickheads who think they're all that there is in life or have their heads up their asses, its just plain annoying, and when they try to change things up, by either doing something actually funny, or attempting to show off that Mindy Kaling is moderately attractive, it just ends up failing epically in what looks like it should have been an outtake every single time. Seriously, I just don't get it, maybe there is something funny there, but i'm not seeing it.

Worst Animated Series Of 2012

Allen Gregory

Hollywood, are you listening? Good, get this through your heads, JONAH HILL IS NOT FUNNY, oh sure, he can play a second or third stringer in a funny movie, or even a moderately funny film, but on his own, he's the worst, he makes David Spade and Norm McDonald seem funny. Yes, I just said that. Seriously this series was just horrible, and all involved should be burned at the stake... thats all.

Worst Sci Fi Series Of 2012


Oh, how i have been waiting for this trainwreck to slide just far enough over the line from "So bad its funny" and tumble into "just totally utter shit" as it falls off the cliff into the shit abyss of disrepair and depression. And in its final season, it finally happened. Now before i get to far into it, i'd like to state this show has always been a tad shit. but it wasn't the kind of shit that was just painful to watch, it was campy and goofball written to seem like serious sci fi, it never had a chance, it was historically inaccurate to the point it was painful, and it was almost comical how they made King Arthur, one of the most important fictional characters of all time, and made him nothing more then a really really stupid self absorbed spoiled rich kid that has utterly no clue whats going on around him. Both of these things became painfully evident in the final season, as well as the show's lack of creativity to create proper villains, it was constantly Merlin, Arthur and Co. against Morgana Pendragon, Arthur's banished sister, whom they never mention is his sister after the third season. It just got so painful in the end, like how the show basically forgets its ban on magic in Camalot, which is the whole reason why Merlin is nothing more then a manservant in this version of the tale, or the fact that for a guy who's ment to hate magic, Arthur sure as hell goes running to his people that he knows know how to use it, and yet, is willing to have outsiders of his inner circle that use it put to death. Its just full of giant plotholes... seriously, this show started out as camp filler till Doctor Who aired, and just became total and utter crap by its end. I wouldn't even bother watching it till the end, because the ending is just utter shit as well. Seriously, just go watch something else instead.

Worst New Show Of 2012


Oh boy, oh boy! If you ever wanted a guide on how to NOT write a sci fi mystery set on another world, this would be it, this trainwreck had just enough shit factor to force out The Fades as the worst possible new series from 2012, and as you all know, with my love of sci fi, its painful to give a bad review to anything of that genre, well not Merlin, because it really really sucked dead donkey balls, but everything else, whole other story. As for the plot of Outcasts, its a vaguely told mixture of a space opera, a western, a murder mystery, political drama, and just enough of a hot welsh girl named Fleur welshing about to keep you from falling asleep each episode, ok well almost, you'll still nod off at some points. As for the story, its sort of hack and slashed together from various other sci fi series and films, humans out among the stars in a post earth world, living on a harsh planet that might have a lifeforce of its own and just might not want us living on it, clones that were banished to the outlands during a paranoia agent spreading rampant among a population, said clones become sort of like native americans, or any other people that are one with the land. the whole time they're trying to find supplies and waiting for more settlers, with harsh weather and political and social mysteries afoot. Oh and apparently, humans had been on the planet they're on before millions of years ago or something... honestly I stopped caring about this awhile ago...

Worst "One And Done" Series Of 2012
AKA "So Glad It Didn't Last Long"

The Fades

On paper, The Fades sounded like a great idea, the story of angels dealing with rogue ghosts here on earth using super powers and whatever, again, it sounded good ON PAPER, in creation and execution however, not so much, not so much indeed. You start out meeting Paul, an awkward depressed child who really only has one friend, and through a series of events, you discover that Paul, literally comes back from the dead, and is infact, an angel, though in this series angels are protrayed like Shinigami or Soul Reapers or a Redeemer of sorts, dealing with what they call "Fades", which are ghosts that have been on earth for long periods of time, simply because they don't know what their unfinished business is. Along Paul's journey, which he takes with his annoying best friend who talks in pop culture references, mostly star wars ones apparently, and his eventual girlfriend Jay, Paul discovers he's not alone with these powers, he eventually meets Neil, who explains that Paul, like him, is what is called an "angelic", and that its their job to deal with the fades. Neil is a horrible waste of life really, a scotish drunk who spends his time either forcing and manipulating others to do things his way, or if he's not doing that, he's beating up, pullling a gun on, or kidnapping and torturing those he calls his friends. Seriously, Neil is a prick. Anyway, the story parts that aren't about Neil's douchebaggery, are about how the Fades have discovered if they eat the flesh of z recently dead being, they once again are given flesh. Its a really complicated and really stupid story honestly, is so full of holes it sad, its almost like they decided telling the story of Neil's dickery was more important then the concept of the story, seriously it was shit. I was seriously expecting more a guy that wrote the bulk of such great shows like Skins, Shameless, Cast Offs, and both This Is England '86 and '88.

The Sophomore Flop


I know, alot of you right now are saying to yourselves "But BC, you love Glee, how can you hate the show thats basically Glee for the more adult viewers? Its just not possible!" well sadly, those people saying such things, either didn't watch the trainwreck that was the second season of Smash, or they just enjoy when something brilliant, becomes something utterly pointless, boring and just drifting by on its one time success. See, Smash, season 1, was excellent, it was brilliant and wonderful and it had only enough Angelica Houstin that you didn't spend time wondering what the hell happened to her between The Aadams Family movies and here, but season 2, when it wasn't trying to literally unwork everything done in season 1, or trying to force two new and utterly bland characters with their vague and confusing half assed musicial on you, all the show did was spin its wheels and have everyone cat fight. Seriously, this show was such a great, fresh, new idea for NBC, but now, they ruined it, as they do with most things that become hits for them, its truly a shame, because they really had the start of something here, but now we'll never know just how far they'd have gone with it, will we?

Ok well thats it for my best/worst of last year, sorry again for this one being so late, but, real life duties called and i couldn't put them aside, i've got a backlog of stuff to get put up soon, so expect more posts from me in the near future... so, until then, blessid be.