Monday, July 31, 2017


A nice pretty new design, I love that.

Now I just gotta clear out time to post reviews, I have a ton backlogged

Just had alot happening lately, hate that.




Friday, February 13, 2015

A little bit of filler

As I sit here and sift through all the movies i've watched sense last summer, getting ready to post reviews for them, expect my long over do Guardians Of The Galaxy review in the next few days, as well as afew others.

But in the mean time, though i can't the version of this in HD and color anymore, or with all the music that got put in, there is the utterly heartbreaking and totally twisted original ending to the cult classic, that is infact a remake of a cult classic, Little Shop Of Horrors.

Part #1

Part #2

Part #3

There is also this take available online that takes up at the start of original version of "Mean Grean Mother", this version is in color and HD, not sure why the uploader didn't add the alternate take of "Supper Time" with Audrey and what happens to her, but, some is better then none right?

Well enjoy this little alternate take on a cult classic thats a remake of the cult classic, for those that have never seen it, i hope you enjoyed it, and for those that have, i hope you also enjoyed it...

Anyway, back soon with all the reviews i been storing up....



Tuesday, September 2, 2014


Been a busy summer for me, seeing alot of movies, all of which i need to sit down and review, I have been backlogged like crazy with other stuff, but i haven't forgotten about reviewing!

i just figured in the time between getting all that done and now, i'd give the site a little redesign, I rather like it personally,

I will be working my way throught the backlog soon, and get back to reviewing



Friday, May 30, 2014

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Captain America: The Winter Solider:
Even on film Batroc The Leaper gets no love...

I have never hid the fact that though i do love my superheroes, i never really was a fan of Captain America, its like i said in my review of his last film The First Avenger, I understand the need for Cap, i understand what he represents and stands for, and respect that, but, he never really grabbed me as a character, he was always just there, leading the Avengers, tossing his shield and taking down superpowered beings with basic self defense and some kung fu. He always seemed like he was most relevant in the 1940s, which is why i was so happy when The First Avenger was set back then, and not only did the story of Cap right, but it also got all the other characters with him right, even if they never mention that Hydra and The Red Skull are high ranking nazi soldiers. Seriously, go back and watch The First Avenger, no where in that movie does Hydra once get referred to as a nazi organization. Anyway, I was a tad bit leery going into this second movie, given that The Winter Solider was such a recent story, and also something that the non-comic book watchers might have issues following, plus i was worried it was gonna be littered with "Haha Captain America doesn't know (place pop culture thing here) isn't that funny? hahahha" jokes, thankfully, all my doubts were put to rest with his lovely action packed and fun film that honestly, was the best Marvel film sense Avengers, plus its the first marvel film truly have ripple effects it made throughout the Marvel Cinematic universe be major ripples, not small little dribbles. bit we'll get into that later on.

The movie starts out two years after the events of Avengers, where we find Captain America and The Black Widow are onboard a SHIELD transport jet talking about how Cap needs to relax and get himself settled into the modern world, go to see movies, or concerts, or even dating, which Cap jokingly says "if I did any of that, I couldn't do this sort of thing.." and jumps out of the plane with no parachute, much to the annoyance of Widow and the admiration of the rest of their group, whom you find out are freeing SHIELD vessel from a group of terrorists, headed by a man named Georges Batroc, better known as low level and mostly used for comedy villain Batroc The Leaper, who has no real super powers, just apparently can jump and use kung fu and in more modern versions of the character can use parkor as well. The movie shows Cap sneaking around the ship putting Batroc's men down one by one, as the SHIELD team, and Widow stand by and basically watch, after Cap out and out humiliates Batroc, as is customary with the character, as the team is mopping up whats left of the terrorists, as Cap and Widow continue their discussion from earlier, Cap discovers that Widow, though his back up, was also there to make sure a secret SHIELD flashdrive didn't get into the hands of the wrong people, which angers Cap that he wasn't told of the secondary mission.

Cap heads back to the Triskelion, the base of operations for SHIELD, where he confronts Nick Fury about this secondary mission he was left out of the loop on, Fury lets Cap in on something called "Project Insight", where in there would be three more powerful then the one they already have SHIELD Helicarriers, which Fury explains, will have the ability to wipeout a person that the program seems is, or even will be, a threat, in a sense, cutting off the head before it can grow. Cap gives Fury a speech about how wrong that is, and how people aren't born evil, they choose to be, just because someone might become a threat, don't mean that always will become evil, and that not giving the good in people a chance is wrong. Fury gives a speech about his grandfather and how he loved people, but he never trusted any of them, Fury asks the director of SHIELD to slow down and take a breather before going any farther on the program, Fury's boss agrees to meet him and have a discussion about the matter. On his way to his meeting Fury is ambushed by a long haired assassin with a metal arm and his face covered up, Fury tries to elude him and his followers as he races through the streets of Washington DC, the fight ends with Fury's suburban totaled, and him hiding in Cap's apartment waiting to warn him, until he's shot through the window, causing Cap's neighbor to reveal that she's a SHIELD agent who's job is to guard Cap if anything were to attack his home, they rush Fury to the ER where he seemingly dies on the operating table, leaving Widow and Cap to discuss whats next for SHIELD as Widow tells Cap she recognizes the description of the man who attacked Fury, she claims he is a soviet operative called The Winter Soldier, the two of them decide to go off the grid, along with Cap's new friend Sam Wilson, a former pararescue trooper, who later reveals that he was the pilot of a special jetpack called "The Falcon".

From there the film becomes almost nothing but non-stop action scenes with little bits of awesome tossed in, as you see the three of them fight off The Winter Solider, discovering who he really is, and jogging his memory long enough to get him free of those controlling him, as well as discover the dark secret that has been hidden deep with in SHIELD going back to his foundation, a secret that as the triskelion and the three new age helicarriers are destroyed in a battle that is best described as beyond epic,and that becomes the second event, after the alien invasion in Avengers, to send out shockwaves that impact all of the established Marvel Cinematic Universe, including the much debated television series Agents Of SHIELD, where in the aftermath of the film's climax is the basis for the final quarter of the series first season, an action that actually turned around many of the series doubters, as they go from dealing with Z-List bad guys and lots of unanswered questions, to the forefront of the MCU, which i think was the plan from the very beginning, and if it was, it has to be one of the best examples of playing the long game for the best pay off in movie and television history.

Its seriously killing me not to give away anything thats happened in the second half of the film in case you've not seen it, or not seen Agents Of SHIELD by now, but honestly, just trust me, this film, is beyond epic, even the little jokes about how out of touch with the modern world Captain America really is, look online, each region and country got their own list of things Cap is writing down in the scene where he meets Sam Wilson, and i must admit, there is a heartbreaking scene where Cap visits his old love Peggy Carter in the hospital, only to find out her mind is going, but she still recognizes himin the brief moments she's able to remember who she is. Honestly, this movie was just so damn good. And the two stinger scenes during the credits, as is customary in Phase 2 of MCU films, you get a look not only on what is happening to The Winter Soldier, but you meet Adriane Von Strucker and the two curious cases he's been studying..

And as normal, if you don't believe me, here have a look at the trailer....



X-Men: Days Of Future Past

X-Men: Days Of Future Past:
A Totally Different Take On An Old Favorite

Its never really been a secret that my writing came from my youth reading comic books, while others were reading pretentious crap like "The Great Gatsby" and "Weathering Heights" which honestly bored the utter hell out of me, I was reading Chris Clairmont's over 20 year run on The Uncanny X-Men, or Frank Miller's run on DareDevil, and ofcourse, Alan Moore's brilliant Watchmen miniseries. So you can imagine that when I heard the next movie in the rebooted X-Men movie series was going to be "Days Of Future Past", taking its name from one of the greatest stories Chris Clairmont ever wrote I was first excited, and then when I heard that Bryan Singer, killer of the first three X-Men films and arguably the worst thing to happen to comic book movies sense Joel Schumacher made Batman movies in the 1990s, was to direct this film, I became worried, very very worried, seriously, the idea of one of my favorite stories ever written being directed by Bryan Singer made me almost wanna throw up. But, as often is the case when it comes to me and my beliefs on comic related things, I was eventually talked into calming down and giving it a chance by the people who were sick of me ranting about how Singer was going to ruin the X-Men worse then any bat-credit card like mcguffin ever could. And I must admit, though it wasn't exactly what I was expecting the film to be, it was enjoyable, it wasn't as good as First Class, but it wasn't a waste of two and a half hours, like i was worried it was going to be, though my inner nerd ofcourse screamed and yelled and corrected certain things, and asked WTF on other things, I truly did enjoy the film, which was a pleasant surprise for me.

The film starts out in the year 2023, and the world is nothing more then a wasteland, you see giant robots roaming the streets freely as you discover that you're in whats left of Moscow, deep down in a bunker you find whats left of The X-Men, this group consists of Shadowcat, Colossus, Bishop, Sunspot, Iceman, Blink and Warpath. They are readying for an assault by the giant robots, called Sentinels, mutant hunting robots who's only job is to destroy or if they have a power they can use, capture a mutant and keep it alive only long enough to discover how to assimilate its power into their own. As the Sentinels break through their bunker doors, Shadowcat grabs Bishop and runs with him, phasing the two of them through solid objects to get away and eventually get them to the most secure room in the bunker, as the others one by one give their lives to stop the Sentinels from getting to them, as you see that the Sentinels eventually adapt and use their powers against them and each other, slowly the team is slaughtered as the giant robots make their way to where Shadowcat is using a secondary mutant power, the power to send your mind backwards in time, on Bishop, who's powers are to basically absorb energy like a battery, as the Sentinels breach the door, Shadowcat says "Too late assholes..." as she, Bishop, the robots, and the damage they had done all disappear as if they were never there.

Next you see a jet land deep in what looks to be inland China. And out of it come Prof. Charles Xavier,  Storm, Magneto, and everyone's favorite plot device, Wolverine, as they leave the jet you hear Shadowcat call out and ask what took them so long to get there. As they go inside the large old monastery looking building Shadowcat explains that she'd recently discovered she can send a person's mind back into their body in the past, she admits she's only done it afew days, and in one instance a month, but thats as far back as it goes she assumes. Magneto and Xavier both agree that she has to try and send someone back to 1973 before the Sentinel program began and stop it all from happening, and after a small debate over which one should do it, its decided that Wolverine will go, because with his healing factor and his already damaged mind, it won't cause him the pain and trouble that it would cause anyone else who tried to make the trip. Xavier and Magneto tell him that he has to go back and find both of them, and get them to help him stop Mystique, the blue shapeshifting mutant from all the other X-Men movies, from murdering a man named Bolivar Trask, the creator of The Sentinels, whom Mystique kills infront of the whole world and the panic caused by this greenlights the Sentinel program. 

Wolverine wakes in his body in 1973, where he wakes up in a waterbed next to a girl he doesn't at first remember, we soon discover that in 1973, Wolverine was working for a mobster in New York City, which you soon discover the girl in his bed is the daughter of, by way of the two thugs that show up to get the two of them for their boss. At this point we discover that Wolverine didn't have his metal claws in 1973, as he dispenses with the two thugs, and takes one of them's car to go find Xavier, who is wallowing in self pity in his now closed down school. Here Wolverine encounters Hank McCoy, or Beast, as he's known, who seems to be taking care of Xavier, who is able to walk for some reason, but does not have his powers, and is a massive drunk. Wolverine is able to eventually convince Xavier that he is from the future, and that he sent him back in time, and that he has to get Magneto and save the world from the birth of the Sentinels, the thing is, Magneto is in super secret never seeing the sun again jail, for apparently killing President Kennedy, though Wolverine knows a guy who can help them get him out, even though he's a young man and hasn't met any of the X-Men yet in 1973, this is where they enlist the help of a young Peter Maximorf, Quicksilver, who honestly, steals the whole first half of the film. From there, once they've gathered the main cast together, they go off to hunt Mystique, and you learn why Xavier doesn't have his powers, but can walk. 

The rest of the film from here is a joyride of action and fun and serious mind games ontop of mind games and secondary agendas ontop of secondary agendas, you find out what Mystique is liberating mutants who were forced into a special unit in the army that were going to be handed over to Trask for research, where the existence of mutants is revealed to the world in a way that can not be spun to make it seem like a fake incident like it was in First Class, we're talking full on screen on live tv using powers on each other, you also find out what happened to the cast thats missing from First Class, as Xavier and Magneto try and forgive each other for abandoning each other and those who they claimed to protect, all leading up to a showdown on live television in Washington DC where President Nixon is almost killed on the air, but instead the world sees that for every dangerous mutant, there is one that is good as well, i won't spoil the way the movie ends, but honestly, it left a smile on my face, which honestly, is hard for a movie to do.

I have to tell you all, honestly, this film was WAY better then what i was expecting it to be, and if i'm being honest with you, the movie could have been a steaming pile of dog shit, but the scene with Quicksilver set to possibly the most hilariously opposite song as they're getting Magneto out of super top secret jail, would have made the whole trip to the theater worth it, i couldn't stop laughing for the entire scene, and honestly i wished he'd been in the whole film, not just the first half, but over all, the film was pretty good, it made alot of in jokes, many a joke of Wolverine passing through a metal detector because he hasn't had the metal claws yet, Magneto even making the joke about them "imagine if those beauties were metal..", it all and all was a great little fun ride of a film, right to the stinger of an after the credits scene. Though I must admit, my inner nerd does scream out about afew things, I don't recall Shadowcat being able to send people's mind through time, i even checked the Marvel Wiki and Wikipedia itself, and there is no mention of that ability on her pages, so I'm glad i didn't just forget that, and the film, honestly borrows more from the plot of the critically acclaimed cartoon Wolverine And The X-Men, then it does with the actual story Days Of Future Past, but thats just fine, because both stories were excellent stories, and you don't really mind that sort of thing when the source stuff is awesome. I will also state that i am incredibly overjoyed that the future Sentinels, were not called "Nimrods" the name of the future Sentinels that think on their own and adapt and mimic powers, I've always hated that name and felt it never really worked.

But my few little quibbles aside, honestly this film was awesome, and I truly had a wonderful time, and if you choose to go see it, you will as well... Oh and as for the after credits scene, had the director not told us what movie was coming after this one in the series, well, En Sabah Nur would have been one hell of a OMG shocker, but, well, anyone thats been paying attention to the press knows who he grows to be...

But if i can't convince you, here is the trailer...




Sunday, April 27, 2014

In Defense Of Agents Of SHIELD

The Voice Of Nerd Logic:
In Defense of Marvel's Agents Of SHIELD

It occurs to me recently that the tide of nerd public opinion has changed toward the first live action attempt at a tv series from Marvel Studios in decades, I am speaking ofcourse of Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D, now many things could account for this uptick, the fact the show deals directly with the aftermath of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and infact one episode taking place during the third act of the film, even though you don't see the cast in the film sadly, or that even before that the pace of the series and its storytelling started to pick up speed and, to many, finally feel like a Marvel product, or the fact that they're finally starting to include and mention lots of characters that might not be big headlining names, but are infact key background players more times then not, or any many of other nerd nitpicky reasons for why people disliked the show at its start. Personally, I loved it from the start, and i will continue to do so, and because i seem to be in the minority, i would, if you all don't mind, like to express my reasoning and logic behind my love of the program, instead just bandwagoning.

Now i will be the first to admit, what we got at the start, might not have been what we expected, i am under the understanding that most people believed that they were gonna get a Marvel Studios movie every single week with SHIELD taking down baddies every single week, and though that would have been awesome, I think people got alittle ahead of themselves, i think most people forgot in the context of the movie universe, the whole idea of a superhero is new, or atleast a still emerging thing, Nick Fury will have you believe it was basically Captain America and The Howling Commandos fighting Hydra and The Red Skull back in  World War 2, and then until the appearance of Iron Man, there were really no superheroes to speak of, atleast thats what we're lead to believe, so the idea of superbeings, super science, aliens, all of that is still new and mostly unknown to them, remember, Avengers: Age Of Ultron will be the first time they even out and out say there are mutants, because i can't see them explaining Pietro and Wanda Maximoff and their powers as science projects with out basically giving a middle finger to decades of character history and the fans.

Now, think about that for just a second, we're playing in a universe were superheroes, supervillains, fringe science, mutants, and space travel are all brand new things that no one has really dealt with yet, while to us fans, and viewers, we know of all these things, and wouldn't find it out of the normal for Fury to be sitting down playing poker with Wolverine, Thing and Rocket Raccoon. But rather then jump into that end of the pool, Marvel is slowly easing us into that, think of it like we're at the front of the expansion of the universe back in the 1960s, but just, in movies, not in the comics. It takes time to build a world, you don't just start out and have people with powers fighting in the streets of New York City when you're basically only taking your first few steps.

And in that fact, is one of the reasons i love this show so much, we have time to tell a proper origin story for characters that need a bigger explanation then cosmic rays, radioactive spiders, gamma bombs, or any of the other things that were pretty much ok to glance over in afew pages back in the 1960s, and were eventually expanded on as time went on, we have time to tell a story of how someone came to be, a good example is how the show has brought about their take on Deathlok, a longtime fan favorite character with a very muddled and confusing origin in the comic books, but in SHIELD, which takes place with in the marvel movie universe, they've been able to give you a full flushed out history, where you get to know him and feel the tragic behind him and his story, he's not just a killer cyborg from the future, or a rogue fringe science faction that somehow went wrong, or any of the other many versions of the character their has been, thats truly telling a story, sure its not as nice and neatly packed together as say the first act of most of Marvel's movies are, and some could argue that it took abit to long, but when you look at it as a whole, and you discover that Deathlok was a science experiment turned into another experiment by Hydra, for once actually making the character someone you can feel for, not just "omg half man, half robot, ALL GUNS XTREME!!" like the comics. Maybe they did take alittle long to get to it, but a well flushed out character creation is to me, better then a rush just to get to the action story with no substance, i am looking at you Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World.

As for the characters and the writing, which is something else people have complained about to a large degree, as much as i don't want to admit it, you need to write a tv show of this nature with an ease in, meaning you can't just drop people in the middle of post Avengers New York City and toss together all these new characters and expect them to work together with out the tropes that every show about about a group of loners and misfits going on to become an elite force for good have to go through to solidify themselves as a team. So yes, you're gonna get standard issue episodes like, the socially awkward one and the confident one team up and save each other's lives, or where the one that seems to keep their distance from everyone else proves they are the most loyal of all, and the implications that one character is secretly in love with another, or any of the other tropes that us comic book people don't feel we need to see because we know what SHIELD is, and that they are full of more misfits and oddballs then G.I Joe AND Cobra could fathom in their wettest of wet dreams, but what the comic book fans need to understand, this show, to produce and continue, has to be watched by more then just comic book fans, it needs to bring in a larger audience, and by not introducing these characters to the bigger viewership, they won't know who is who and why they need to care for them, and though no one wants to admit, the first half of the season, which was all the trope episodes, had to be done so they could move on, to stories like Sif and Lorelei rumbling hot asguardian chick styley in New Mexico, or finding out who Deathlok is, or who the Clairvoyant is, or all the post Captain America The Winter Solider fall out, all great things that we were able to get to because they had time to happen naturally and not rushed.

As for those who don't like Skye, I submit to you this, no one really likes the "fan window" character, oh sure we got lucky with how awesome Clark Gregg plays Phil Coulson, who was, if you all remember, a fan window character, infact Coulson was a comic book nerd who grew up to work with superheroes, he literally is living the dream all us nerds dream, but i think with how good of a character and how popular he became, people forget for every Coulson, or Jarvis before he was an A.I program, you also have Marvel's original window, Rick Jones, who though they have tried for decades to make interesting, they just couldn't do it, Rick traveled with the Hulk, Captain America, Captain Mar-Vel, Rom The Spaceknight, worked for The Avengers, discovered for like 30 seconds he had something in him called The Destiny Force that he only was able to tap into once, in his over 50 years of character history, and until recently, when he was turned into a hulk like character calling himself A-Bomb, no one honestly cared about him one bit.

So its ok to hate Skye if thats your thing, personally, I don't really see the point, i mean in theory, every superhero or heroes has to have a sidekick or butler or someone that we can see through the eyes of an understand them on a human level, sure its annoying, but it makes for good story, even if she should be kept in the plane and just operate the computers from there instead of going out in the field and sucking at being an agent, but, again, its something you just need to look past and not let it get to you, like outrunning a fireball in a movie, or a bullet stopping once it hits a glass window in a car, or really a stray bullet of any sort not hitting anything, that sort of stuff. Its nothing to be overly critical about, it'll take away from the bigger story, but thats just my way of thinking.

As for the show's lack of villainy, remember, this marvel universe is just starting out, so you need to see the creations of both heroes and villains, they don't just show up, or if they do, we do get some kind of explanation, but think about it, we've seen through this show already, the creation of Blizzard and Graviton, and we've just seen Blackout, the one that uses the darkness dimension not the ghost rider baddie, and they out and out said Blackout has superpowers, oh and we've also thanks to the show seen our first Kree, before Guardians Of The Galaxy even!, so they're slowly bringing building the universe, remember you need to bring in the D and C listers as well as the A and B listers or you won't really have different tiers of characters, so you need to add the Turner D Centurys, Doctor Bongs and Batroc The Leapers, as well as your Red Skulls, Dread Dormamus, and Thanos', its all part of the building, which really, is something people need to understand is something we take for granted I think.

Anyway, thats my take on SHIELD and why in all honestly its alot better then most people are willing to give it a chance. Something for y'all to think about...



Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Reality Shock 3.0: Episode 1

The Reality Shock 3.0:
Episode One:
“Back Once Again With That Old School Swagger”

Hello everyone, its been a long time hasn't it? For those of you who remember my old version of this column, I thank you for coming back after my 3 year break, as for those of you who've never read the old version, well, get ready for abit of a crazy ride through the world of entertainment as I drop some truth, knowledge, and blunt reality on all of you if you are ready for it or not, because I am back once again to spread the gospel of the truest and most passionate out there, sure its not what the entertainment world wants you to think, its that passon and love for these things that are why I decided to come back to this, because so many out there ask me what I think on matters most entertainment, and I feel the time is right, the landscape isn't completely bleak and drab and full of nothing but horrible rehashed and reused and watered down into mush at the moment and that is where I like it, I like variety, I like knowing some nights you gotta flip a coin on what show to watch and what show to DVR/Download as apposed to just watching one show each time its on, simply because there is no other choice. Anyway, with all of that out of the way, let us all rejoice, for I am have returned, with my wit as sharp as a osafune katana, and my reality as blunt as a sledgehammer swung by Deadpool, so with no farther delay, lets dive headfirst back into this... and lets hope we don't flop harder then Louie Anderson's fat ass on that horrible celebrity diving show Splash....

Anyway.... A'Room'a Zoom Zoom.. here we go!!

Ok first thing I would like to touch on is something thats rather near and dear to my heart, and the thing i've been asked about the most, I am talking of the 50th Birthday of Doctor Who. For those of you that know me, you know I am a life long fan of the series, and can truly say, its one of the few bright moments from my childhood, with that being said, I will answer outright, I really didn't like the way the show's birthday was handled. See, its rare that a television show makes it to 50 years, let alone that its still on the air when it makes it to that age, let alone that its the longest running series in its genre, and a global juggernaut with fans that make Twihards, Juggalos, Bronies, Trekkies, and Star Wars Nerds combined look smaller then the group of middle aged virgins that still play Magic: The Gathering, or if you're too old for that reference, smaller then the group of middle aged virgins who still play with Pogs, and if you're too old for that reference, smaller then the group of people who didn't return their copies of ET the Video Game for the Atari, and if you're too old for that reference, tough shit I’m not going back into the 1970s for a reference for this joke I already beat into the ground. Anyway my point is the fans of Doctor Who, or “Whovians” as they're called by people that want me to punch them in the face for saying the word whovian, is the largest fanbase on the internet, it literally spans three generations, grandparents, parents, children all united in their love of a mad man with a blue box who travels through time and space having adventures and thwarting shrill voiced salt and pepper shakers with plungers and egg beaters for hands, a global audience of well over 50 million viewers world wide.

Now I mention this only as a means of expressing just how large of a viewership they have for the program and the love those viewers have, now, taking all of that into account, don't you think it would be wise for the BBC to make a big deal, and celebrate a series that has endured everything from being put “on hold” for over a decade, to being a radio program, to an online web series, to audio books, and back to tv, but in the end, what do we get? Afew “retrospectives” on each lead to play the role, a television movie about the early days of the show, an anniversary special that seemed to have been written over an afternoon and wasn't even what they were promoting it to be, followed by a Christmas special that made very little sense and just seemed to be a means of dumping one lead for another, this might sound like a lot, but the problem is, honestly, other then the movie about the early days of the show, “An Adventure In Space And Time”, the BBC totally dropped the ball on this. And though I would love to put all the blame on them, the truth is, its not at all the fault of the BBC, the fault lies as much with show runner Steven Moffat, who wrote the two specials, and pissed fans off last year by splitting last year's 13 episodes into 6 last year and 7 earlier this year, he claimed “starving the audience for new episodes” would guarantee high ratings, when all it did was piss people off, forcing us to be subject to your stupid high concept crap that doesn't make any sense, and when we do get the show, the episodes being lackluster at best, isn't gonna make us happy we waited, its just gonna piss off long time viewers, you also don't mispromote a program simply because you know its what people would like to see. When you start lying to the fans, the loyal fans, whom your job depends on, the fans get mad, and when they get mad, they stop watching. I hope Moffat learns that lesson, and I hope the BBC does too... course looking at how the BBC is treating Top Gear, I doubt they've learned anything. Shame really. Still though, if you have time, catch “An Adventure in Time And Space”, it'll give you the feels something hardcore.

So there is gonna be a musical based on the life and music of Tupac Shakur, it'll be called “Holla If You Hear Me...” and open in London soon, this will either be the greatest attempt to bring hip hop to the legit theater world, or it will crash and burn worse then Spiderman Turn Off The Dark.

Speaking of Spiderman (epic segue for the win!, also extra points for spelling segue right instead of “segway”), I would like to express my worry over something else i've been asked about a lot lately, the second Amazing Spiderman film and the next X-Men movie, and well I guess comic book movies in general recently... Now lets start with Amazing Spiderman 2, now, lets face facts, there will never be a perfect spiderman movie, you will always get an actor thats a great Spiderman, or a great Peter Parker, sadly, its nearly impossible to find anyone that could be perfect as both, Peter Parker is meant to be the nerdy guy that no one notices is cute because of his nerdness, and that he's only able to express his true self, behind the mask, you just have to take whatever you can get and be happy with the middle ground, likewise with his cast, you either cast his family and friends perfectly and the villains horribly, or the villains right and his family and friends wrong, this being said, I feel with the current series of movies, they've done as well as possible with casting Spiderman, and as good as possible casting his family and friends, Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy? Oh hell yes. But sadly, much like the trilogy this new series of movies is meant to reboot and save us from, the weakest casting is in the villains, though I give them props for going with The Lizard as the first film's big bad, and proving you can do a superhero movie with just one bad guy, but all the headway they made, proving you can make a credible Spiderman film, is about to be forgotten in this horrible mess that is going to be Amazing Spiderman 2, cramming in B-List baddies Electro and The Rhino as the major threats and shoehorning in The Green Goblin just for shits and giggles, it just won't work, it'll give each villain roughly one act each, but that just isn't how movies work, someone's gonna be forgotten quicker then Malekith the Accursed in Thor: The Dark World (Oh don't worry, we'll get to that in abit), and let alone the changes they've made to make the characters so far changed from the comic book originals that its almost like they're trying to just pander to the non-comic audience, and that.. I just don't like. I can deal with Electro being black and looking like a homeless person, instead of a dumb white two bit criminal turned lightening bolt, but The Rhino isn't a dude in a mech suit, he's a former wrestler who was enhanced with speed and strength and through an accident got stuck in the suit he wore in the ring, a rhino suit, sure that sounds stupid to most, but, its better then a pale little shitwipe like Paul Giovani inside a mech that looks half like a rhino and half like a bear with a gun on its back... I am seriously worried this film will tank because the studio just wanted to character grab.

I am also worried about the next X-Men movie, X-Men: Days Of Future Past, not only is this movie, the follow up to the amazing X-Men: First Class, being handed to the director who killed the first X-Men trilogy by taking the greatest X-Men story ever, The Phoenix/Dark Phoenix Saga, and turned it into a no sense made at all b-story, who instead of taking the hint that no one cared about his story anymore, because, you know, it ruined the x-movies, has decided to take the movie all of us fans loved, and force it into the old storyline he's already proven wasn't what people wanted. Whats worse is he's using the ever not handled properly in films that don't involve a DeLorean or H.G Welles, trope of time travel through the mind, where the past and the future try to correct the present, it just... ugh. Days Of Future Past was another amazing X-Men story, but it didn't involve time travel, it was a stand alone nightmare apocalypse story, back when you could write a story of that nature in comics and it not be a “giant crossover event that changes (place comic book name here) forever” or something stupid, it wasn't anything like this, and though I understand the need to change things for the wider audience, I just don't understand the giving it back to the man who ruined things the first time out, thats just like creating a masterpiece of art and then paying a homeless man thats been living off scraps outside of a indian take out to take a crap on it while singing one of those post civil war super offensive folk songs no one wants to admit were popular at one point in time. Whats even worse, they're already trying to hype up the movie that will come AFTER this one, before its even out, which really worries me, you don't do that, oh sure, we knew that Avengers was coming four movies before, and we knew with Lord Of The Rings and Star Wars there were more movies coming after each one that came out, but like, you didn't see articles on movie sites or comic book sites talking about the next film BEFORE the current one hits theaters... that seriously worries me, a lot, its as if they're saying “hey, this movie is gonna utter dog shit, but look what we've got coming next if you stay with us!”, classic deflection and that just... I just don't know, I don't like it.

Now, you might think I'm just having a bitchy whiny fanboy rant with this, but you see, the thing is, as a life long lover of comic books and related material, I always want to see anything related to them do well, I want to see movies set box office records, and tv shows hit ratings highs and bring some amazing characters and amazing stories to either the big or small screen, even if they are from books I don't read or care for, because, well simply, the inspiration, and the wonder that they bring, oh sure, I hate Superman, but who knows, some kid, maybe a little girl in Egypt named Elena might see him take flight with Lois Lane in his arms and be inspired, with alittle help from her uncle who's a brilliant American writer/critic/columnist to write what could be the ultimate Superman story, or create her own character who will become loved the world over, you never truly know.

But I do know, at this point in time, comic book movies might be at the point where the bubble bursts, and that worries me, in a world where Marvel has basically half assed its two big films that followed up Avengers, yes, thats it, I’ve said it, and I’ll say it again, Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World, where NOT adequate follow ups to a film as giant as The Avengers, I understand there has to be dealing with fall out, but they could atleast advance toward the next film, Iron Man 3 introduced us to AIM, who will play very big into the tv series Agents of SHIELD, but at the same time, turned Iron Man into a terrified little school girl, thats NEVER been Tony Stark, not even at his drunkest, was he EVER scared of what he does, he sucked it up, downed a bottle of expensive vodka, smacked Pepper Potts on her sweet ass can and handled his business, no matter what happened to him in life, thats how Tony Stark do. As for Thor, well, I'm amazed they didn't just edit the villain, Malekith The Accursed, the dark elf king, out of the film entirely as to fit more Loki into it, its like that sickly third world albino african orphan Eric Ortwine I sponsor was saying the other day, “they should have just called the film Loki's Revenge and left Malekith out of the film entirely, sense he only shows up for three scenes, and they only use his name twice..” it just goes to show, if a sicky third world albino african orphan can see how obviously lacking something was, that means you really need to take a good look at it and fix it. Marvel is playing the extra long game now, branching its movies off into more obscure places and leading to bigger team up films, with rumors of major storyline “Civil War” being in the works as long as our already setting up saga of Thanos and The Infinity Gauntlet, this is a dangerous cliff they're hanging over, and they need to make sure they don't fall off. Also, they need to make sure when the time is right, they do Thanos Quest as a movie, just to hear him say the final lines in the book on film, if they do that, I can die a happy man.

Its not just movies by Marvel that need to get their act in gear I should add, in a world after Nolan and Bale working on Batman films, and a world where, lets face it, Man Of Steel was by no means a blockbuster, even if they are acting like it was, the film barely made 100million, which actually was less then it cost to make, thats not a blockbuster, thats barely breaking even, but yet, they're still going on with the next one, and seemingly destroying the whole thing in one shot, cramming a completely miscast Batman and Wonder Woman, as well as a rumored Denzel Washington as the black Green Lantern, and rumors of casting The Rock as a major character also, all into one movie, it just seems so stupid and so wrong, and it just screams talent grab and money grab, a totally wrong and horrible money and talent grab to me, as well as proof whoever is making the films for DC Comics truly has no idea what the hell they're doing.

Ok, comic book related rant over... now onto other things...

I would like to now talk about something thats probably an issue we're gonna only deal with here in America, verses a problem all around the world, I am talking about Syfy, a network devoted to science fiction programing the world over, now, when I look at their programing in other countries, its pretty good, pretty sci fi, but here, well, things are just going wrong. I don't understand how a network that claims to be the definitive science fiction place on television the world over, can clearly no idea what you're doing or who your target audience is, or what it is they like. I will used for examples, afew questions and answers from recent social media question/answer sessions between programing heads and viewers, I feel they will help me prove my point. Recently, when asked why the network has stopped showing classic sci fi series enlue of day long marathons of modern in house made programs, some of which are current and some are canceled, the head of programing claimed “our viewership doesn't want to see older sci fi series like V, the original Battlestar Galatica, Misfits Of Science, Lost In Space, or even comic book based shows like The Incredible Hulk, WonderWoman or the short lived Captain America and Spiderman live action programs from the late 70s, we feel they have no interest in such things, they'd much rather watch programs like Farscape, Fact Or Faked, Stargate SG1, Ghost Mine, Haunted Highway or Paranormal Witness.. there is no demand for classic sci fi, anyone that wants that, owns it on dvd/blu ray anyway.” Umm... NO. You're just more then likely lazy and really have no idea what the hell you're doing programing for a science fiction themed network, because you probably were a brown noser who wanted to do programing for a big five network, well tough shit blanko nino learn to do your damn job or step down. More proof of what i'm talking about, when asked later on, if the network was going to air classic sci fi movies or monster movies, or even kaiju movies (Godzilla, Mothra, Gammera, ect..) with the recent increase in popularity thanks to the surprise hit of Pacific Rim, they were treated with the answer of, “we as a network believe that older sci fi movies, monster movies, and kaiju films, are no longer what syfy viewers want, we feel they would rather watch movies like Sharknado, Ice Spiders, Sharkipus, or Jersey Shore Shark Attack instead of films staring people in foam rubber suits stomping over scale model cities...” … You starting to see what I mean here? Did you read that last statement? Seriously, read it back afew times, let that sink in, thats a head of programing for a network that averages 13 million viewers a week, clearly having no clue about their viewership. Seriously think about that.

Now while you're thinking about that, also take this into note, this is the same network, that felt the best way to create original programing was to cancel five of their top ratings getting shows; Destination Truth, Alphas, Warehouse 13, Eureka and Ghost Hunters International, to clear up 100million dollars to produce a television show called Defiance, that honestly, wasn't all that good of a program, oh sure, it allowed us to watch Jaime Murrey make out with other chicks, but aside from that, in all honesty, Defiance fell short of the bullseye they were expecting to hit with it. Now think about that too, they cancel five programs to make ONE show with 100million dollars, where in the fuck did all of that money go? Because it sure as hell didn't all go to that show's production, the F/X alone prove that. Honestly I've no idea what they're thinking they're doing... I just don't. My only real hope for them this year is that they don't fuck up the American airing of The Almighty Johnsons, a favorite series of mine from New Zealand they're airing this year, though with edits, you know, because far be it from American TV to air nudity and swears.. and hopefully it'll lead to an American remake, because they said the series itself is dead in the water down where its from, sadly.

Terms I'm hoping we leave in 2013 and never see again; “yolo”, “manscaping”, “man cave”, “obamacare”, “twerking”, “honey hole”.

Terms I would like to see become more popular in 2014; “Haberdashery”, “Shtaco”, “mimiograph”.

Interesting fact, the soon to be released Mr. Peabody and Sherman movie isn't because of the popularity of Doctor Who, which it is a lot like, nor is it because of the adventures of me and my friend Rose, the plucky young lass who assists me, its simply just when a proper script was given to the company that holds the rights to Jay Ward's creations.

I was recently filled with joy and adulation when I heard the news that not only was the french television series “The Returned” a hit when broadcast here in the states, and that though there are many series in the same vain starting in the near future, that there will be an american adaption on ABC called “Resurrection” airing soon much to my excitement, don't get me wrong, I don't mind watching subtitles with my tv, well unless its a spanish soap opera, then I just make up the plot till the hot women start smacking each other Dynasty style, but its good to also get a well made adaption of a program into a language that doesn't involve me remembering all I did in french class was stare at my hot french teacher and not really learn any of the language.

For those of you that don't know, The Returned is the story of this small town in France where one day, out of the fog, comes many of the people who died in the last few years, they come out of the fog, perfectly healthy looking and not aware of why they're brought back, they just are. Its based on a novel, but its also a lot like a french movie from afew years back called “They Come Back”, the same movie that fueled the creation of the once doomed to never go past pilot, but now thanks to this craze will see the airwaves revived for series “Babylon Fields”, which long time readers will remember is a personal favorite of mine, also word is FOX is adapting the film to series under the name “They Come Back”, so we'll wait and see just how many zombies and zombie like creatures are coming to tv soon, after all, it can't be worse then what they did to vampires... sigh.. oh how I miss the days when vampires weren't the metrosexual well dressed possibly gay friend to every lonely teenage girl.... that reminds me, I hate teenagers.

Time for many of you long time readers favorite segment, the list of what I'm watching these days, well here goes, separated by country; From the USA: Revolution, American Horror Story, Sleepy Hollow, Almost Human, Once Upon A Time, Agents Of SHIELD, Grimm, Space Dandy,The Tomorrow People, The Walking Dead, Once Upon A Time In Wonderland, Under The Dome, Defiance, Fallen Skies, Warehouse 13, Haven, Banshee, The Following, Justified. From the UK: Doctor Who, Utopia, Lightfields. From Canada: Orphan Black, Lost Girl, Bitten, From AU/NZ: Nothing Trivial, Auckland Daze, The Strange Calls, Twentysomething, Upper Middle Bogan, Wonderland, Winners and Losers, Serangoon Road, Underbelly, Top Of The Lake, Wentworth, Nowhere Boys, The Almighty Johnsons, Tricky Business. From Other Places: Hellfjord (Norway), The Returned (France), Real Humans (Sweden), Hard (France), Love/Hate (Ireland), Trivia (Ireland)... There are some more there but I can't think of them as I write this, the curse of late night writing I guess.

And for those of you who are more of the music listening kind... The list of what I been jamming to lately; “Born And Raised in Lowell” by Kevin G. Moore, “The Man” by Aloe Blacc, “Bang Bang” by Monophonics, “How I Learned To Pray”, “To Young To See”, “Can't Fix Whats Not Broken”, “Love Don't Die Easy” by Charlie Worsham, “Nutbush City Limits” by Beth Hart, “Bad Moon Rising” by The Mourning Rituals, “Rap Viper” by Wordburgler, “Dress Blues” by Jason Isbell, “Here's To Never Growing Up” by Avril Levine, “Wild and Lonesome” by Shooter Jennings, “Old Fashion Morphine”, “All My Love”, “Burnt Toast”, “I Like You Better When You're Straight”, “Know Your Roots” by Dallas Frasca, “Soldier’s Song” by Stevie Nicks, “Into The Mystic” by Jen Chapin, “If It Hadn't Been For Love”, “Ghosts Of Mississippi”, “Sticks That Make Thunder”, “Midnight Train To Memphis”, “Where Rainbows Never Die” by The Steeldrivers, “Gimmie Head” by The Radiators, “Flame Trees” by Cold Chisel and I think thats enough for now, but there are more as you always know... curse my love of music.

No one is watching Trisha Paytas' youtube channel for her “wit and incite” into the world around her. Also, most of you just went and googled Trisha Paytas, half of you just went “oooooooooh” the other half just wished you'd had the time it took to google her back. However all of you are wondering if I mean my statement sarcastically or not.

Really Snoop Dogg? You're doing adds for loan agencies in other countries now? Really? Did you smoke through all that Snoop Lion money that fast? Hahaha I'm just kidding, his Snoop Lion project never made any money.

I was hoping that I wouldn't have to touch on this, but I’ve gotten a lot of questions of what I think of this matter, so I figure while I’m speaking from the pompatus of reality, I should address the issue of one Phil Robertson. For those of you who don't know who Phil is, he is the elderly head of the Robertson family, the family behind the not really reality series Duck Dynasty, who recently said some rather homophobic and racist statements in an interview with GQ magazine, and its pissed off a lot of people. Now, the matter of free speech aside, here is the facts that people seem to forget, Phil is a 70 year old man with xenophobic and technophobic tendencies and is incredibly antisocial. Anyone thats seen atleast one episode of the series is aware of these things, he constantly refers to anyone that doesn't live in the woods like a hoarder like he does, as “yuppies” and claims his own grandchildren disgust him because they were raised in large beautiful homes, go to good schools and have cellphones and various computer devices, he refuses to do interviews with any reporters or business people who do not believe in god or will not pray with him, he also refuses to learn about the world outside of the world he created for himself, he is no different then any other old southern man in his age group, so why, would it shock anyone that he would have an issue with gay people? Honestly, have you not seen the show? There was an episode where he had to deal with an obviously gay photographer taking family pictures, and Phil was insanely rude to him, constantly making cracks about him going back to the city, and after shooting a squirrel out of a tree proclaimed “I bet thats the first time you've ever seen one of those isn't it?” and then mocked him for having never eaten squirrel. Seriously this happened, lord knows the network its on airs the show in long enough blocks most days, have a watch he totally does this. I don't know why his beliefs surprise anyone honestly. This is normal behavior for those raised as he was, and where he was, its just old folksy beliefs, nothing more.

And also to make my other point on this matter, honestly, why is it a big deal who does and doesn't like or accept gay people? Now don't get me wrong, I have no issues with homosexuals or homosexuality, I believe whatever makes you happy is your business, and honestly, why is it, in 2014, we still feel the need to care what others do in their own bedrooms, or Burger King bathrooms, or where ever else one gets their end away? And in the same vain, why are there people who feel the need to make examples and spectacles of people who do have an issue with gays? What is the point of pointing out their beliefs, sure, I don't agree with them, but they've their right to believe what they want. I just wonder if maybe its just witch hunting for the sake of witch hunting, because, you know, witch hunts have always turned out so well for people in the past. Seriously, I just wish people would leave people alone and not care what is going on in the lives of people they don't know or care about, its just wasted energy. Energy that could be better spent twerking or ghost riding a whip, or parkor or planking or whatever other stupid thing people are doing these days.

Now that we've settled that, I promise you, that will be the closest to serious news this column will ever become, now back to the normal fodder...

You wanna know what saddens me? That the film The Knights of Badassdom didn't get any love when it was in theaters for the very short time it was, honestly, it was a who's who of people the internet loves, in a movie about a LARP troop fighting zombies, aside from the fact its the only group to not fight zombies on the big screen yet, its also such a crazy idea that it almost makes it, in theory anyway, as brilliant as Dead Snow, remember, the Jews vs. Nazi Zombies film from afew years back? Yeah now you do, and now you're pissed you forgot about it. Ah well, atleast the next Muppet movie is coming out soon.

And thats where we're gonna end things this time around, but, before I go, I always do, I shall leave you with afew random thoughts to ponder until we next meet....

I have seen imagery and toys from the new ninja turtle movie, its gonna suck more then Megan Fox did to get her role in it. I don't get why ABC is going to take The Wizard Of Oz and give it the Once Upon A Time treatment, did they not learn with Wonderland? Why is Cee-Lo Green still a thing? Thank you Guardians Of The Galaxy for giving me Rocket Raccoon in movie form, life needs more foul mouthed insane giant gun packing space raccoons. DC Comics are a bunch of homophobic idiots. As he reads this, Lord Bez is Fandangoing. I don't find Cedric The Entertainer all that entertaining honestly. Seriously, they're remaking Kirk Camron's horrible Left Behind movies for the big screen with Nick Cage? Honestly, does he have any shame? I mean really? I wonder if people take heavy hallucinogenic drugs and watch In The Night Garden, because I'm pretty sure you gotta be tripping balls to make sense of it in general.

And thats it for this time around... so, till next time you crazy little Wottingers... blessid be


Sunday, November 24, 2013


I really should get around to posting all the reviews of the movies i saw over the summer, I was just so busy with the food review site launching that I didn't have alot of time for this one... I need to fix that.



Thursday, November 21, 2013


What the fuckity fucking fuck Spiderman? First Spiderman 3, then Turn Off The Dark, now whatever the hell this is?

Seriously, what the hell are you doing here? Its like you are redoing that Jewel video Intuition but not sexy. Well ok maybe for the ladies it is, I don't know, but ugh... god what the hell man? First all that shit Dan Slott does to you, now this? damn spidey..

just... damn..



Wednesday, July 17, 2013

About Roger Ebert...

Remember Roger Ebert

I know this is afew months over due, but, well, honestly i wanted to sit down and truly thing about this before I wrote it, i wanted to choose my words carefully, and make sure I express things in the proper way before anything is misconstrued. After all, most know my dealings with, and thoughts on the late Roger Ebert weren't exactly what one would call favorable most of the time, and the last thing i would wish would be for anyone to believe I am one to kick dog shit in a person's grave as its being covered in dirt.

I would like to first state, that though we never truly agreed on things on a personal and professional level, I always had respect for Roger, after all, with out him and those early trailblazers that took movie reviewing from a novelty much akin to early weather forecasting, into a legit form of news, he gave it credibility, dignity, and he proved that with a simple extending of the thumb up or downwards was as powerful as any marketing and promotional department could ever dream of being. He proved that with just afew lines, the opinion and ideas of an entire nation could swing for or away from any film, truly proving that the power really does lie with the people's general opinion.

I always jokingly knocked Roger for his writing the screenplay to Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, which though most might not believe it to be, is truly one of my favorite grindhouse films ever made, its got everything that makes a film truly grindhouse; drugs, naked women, free love, and one of the greatest soundtracks ever created for a film. Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls was one of my first encounters with grindhouse, long before i ever knew there was a genre, and even longer before I knew the word or its meaning, in sense, had that film never been made, I might have never gone down my path that led me to where i am now, maybe i'd have gone on to be a race car driver or a cowboy astronaut fireman playboy millionaire superhero or something, instead of what i am, a guy who was able to take his escape from being anti-social and turn it into a pretty fun time reviewing movies. i'll always thank Roger for that, even though i'd never say it to him personally lol.

i want it to be known, though I always critically bashed Roger in his later years, I always respected him for all he has done up to the last few years, when, I felt he had lost his way, though to be fair, I honestly think after Gene Siskle died, he truly started to stop caring as much as he did, and it would eventually trickle down more and more until he started to do sloppy work, hating a movie for the sake of hating a movie or because you dislike the genre is one thing, we all do that at times, but when you mis up characters and scenes that you are using as examples of why you dislike a film, thats just sloppy first day on the job stuff, and i always felt Roger was better then that sort of mistakes or errors. See I wasn't ever angry or mad at him, as a person, it was angry at what he was becoming, instead of the man he is, and had been for decades before, the man that inspired three generations to express their passion for moving film, and to explore the world of film outside of just what hollywood tosses at you, shouldn't be remembered for mistakes that an amateur would make, it was kind of like when you're a kid and you find out Mickey Mouse at Disneyland is just a guy in a bad smelling foam rubber suit, or when you discover that your favorite race car driver is boring as hell in person, if any of that makes sense.

So in the end, I'm gonna do what i think all of the rest of you should do, remember Roger however you wish too, hopefully back when he was healthy and vibrant and would excitedly yell at Gene Siskle for giving away the twist in The Crying Game, or any of the other hilariously passionate arguments the two of them had over the years. Thats when he was in his prime, and thats when i choose to remember Roger.

Hang loose Teddy Bear..