Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Captain America: The Winter Solider:

Even on film Batroc The Leaper gets no love...

I have never hid the fact that though i do love my superheroes, i never really was a fan of Captain America, its like i said in my review of his last film The First Avenger, I understand the need for Cap, i understand what he represents and stands for, and respect that, but, he never really grabbed me as a character, he was always just there, leading the Avengers, tossing his shield and taking down superpowered beings with basic self defense and some kung fu. He always seemed like he was most relevant in the 1940s, which is why i was so happy when The First Avenger was set back then, and not only did the story of Cap right, but it also got all the other characters with him right, even if they never mention that Hydra and The Red Skull are high ranking nazi soldiers. Seriously, go back and watch The First Avenger, no where in that movie does Hydra once get referred to as a nazi organization. Anyway, I was a tad bit leery going into this second movie, given that The Winter Solider was such a recent story, and also something that the non-comic book watchers might have issues following, plus i was worried it was gonna be littered with "Haha Captain America doesn't know (place pop culture thing here) isn't that funny? hahahha" jokes, thankfully, all my doubts were put to rest with his lovely action packed and fun film that honestly, was the best Marvel film sense Avengers, plus its the first marvel film truly have ripple effects it made throughout the Marvel Cinematic universe be major ripples, not small little dribbles. bit we'll get into that later on.

The movie starts out two years after the events of Avengers, where we find Captain America and The Black Widow are onboard a SHIELD transport jet talking about how Cap needs to relax and get himself settled into the modern world, go to see movies, or concerts, or even dating, which Cap jokingly says "if I did any of that, I couldn't do this sort of thing.." and jumps out of the plane with no parachute, much to the annoyance of Widow and the admiration of the rest of their group, whom you find out are freeing SHIELD vessel from a group of terrorists, headed by a man named Georges Batroc, better known as low level and mostly used for comedy villain Batroc The Leaper, who has no real super powers, just apparently can jump and use kung fu and in more modern versions of the character can use parkor as well. The movie shows Cap sneaking around the ship putting Batroc's men down one by one, as the SHIELD team, and Widow stand by and basically watch, after Cap out and out humiliates Batroc, as is customary with the character, as the team is mopping up whats left of the terrorists, as Cap and Widow continue their discussion from earlier, Cap discovers that Widow, though his back up, was also there to make sure a secret SHIELD flashdrive didn't get into the hands of the wrong people, which angers Cap that he wasn't told of the secondary mission.

Cap heads back to the Triskelion, the base of operations for SHIELD, where he confronts Nick Fury about this secondary mission he was left out of the loop on, Fury lets Cap in on something called "Project Insight", where in there would be three more powerful then the one they already have SHIELD Helicarriers, which Fury explains, will have the ability to wipeout a person that the program seems is, or even will be, a threat, in a sense, cutting off the head before it can grow. Cap gives Fury a speech about how wrong that is, and how people aren't born evil, they choose to be, just because someone might become a threat, don't mean that always will become evil, and that not giving the good in people a chance is wrong. Fury gives a speech about his grandfather and how he loved people, but he never trusted any of them, Fury asks the director of SHIELD to slow down and take a breather before going any farther on the program, Fury's boss agrees to meet him and have a discussion about the matter. On his way to his meeting Fury is ambushed by a long haired assassin with a metal arm and his face covered up, Fury tries to elude him and his followers as he races through the streets of Washington DC, the fight ends with Fury's suburban totaled, and him hiding in Cap's apartment waiting to warn him, until he's shot through the window, causing Cap's neighbor to reveal that she's a SHIELD agent who's job is to guard Cap if anything were to attack his home, they rush Fury to the ER where he seemingly dies on the operating table, leaving Widow and Cap to discuss whats next for SHIELD as Widow tells Cap she recognizes the description of the man who attacked Fury, she claims he is a soviet operative called The Winter Soldier, the two of them decide to go off the grid, along with Cap's new friend Sam Wilson, a former pararescue trooper, who later reveals that he was the pilot of a special jetpack called "The Falcon".

From there the film becomes almost nothing but non-stop action scenes with little bits of awesome tossed in, as you see the three of them fight off The Winter Solider, discovering who he really is, and jogging his memory long enough to get him free of those controlling him, as well as discover the dark secret that has been hidden deep with in SHIELD going back to his foundation, a secret that as the triskelion and the three new age helicarriers are destroyed in a battle that is best described as beyond epic,and that becomes the second event, after the alien invasion in Avengers, to send out shockwaves that impact all of the established Marvel Cinematic Universe, including the much debated television series Agents Of SHIELD, where in the aftermath of the film's climax is the basis for the final quarter of the series first season, an action that actually turned around many of the series doubters, as they go from dealing with Z-List bad guys and lots of unanswered questions, to the forefront of the MCU, which i think was the plan from the very beginning, and if it was, it has to be one of the best examples of playing the long game for the best pay off in movie and television history.

Its seriously killing me not to give away anything thats happened in the second half of the film in case you've not seen it, or not seen Agents Of SHIELD by now, but honestly, just trust me, this film, is beyond epic, even the little jokes about how out of touch with the modern world Captain America really is, look online, each region and country got their own list of things Cap is writing down in the scene where he meets Sam Wilson, and i must admit, there is a heartbreaking scene where Cap visits his old love Peggy Carter in the hospital, only to find out her mind is going, but she still recognizes himin the brief moments she's able to remember who she is. Honestly, this movie was just so damn good. And the two stinger scenes during the credits, as is customary in Phase 2 of MCU films, you get a look not only on what is happening to The Winter Soldier, but you meet Adriane Von Strucker and the two curious cases he's been studying..

And as normal, if you don't believe me, here have a look at the trailer....




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BC

My Best Movies of 2012

2012 In Review: Best And Worst.... 

And Afew Things In Between

Part 1: The Best

So its the end of the year, and though i must first and foremost say i am sorry for my lack of reviews this year, i was honestly just so busy between trying to find work and lots of family related speed bumps that i wasn't really able to get much done review wise, but i promise you, i will crank out the ones i intented to review in the first few weeks of January as a means of getting my review numbers back up, after all its not fair to all of you that i basically take a year off even though I was having alot of offline issues, the few of you that actually read the stuff i write, I owe it to you to be open and honest and review things even when life is abit rough.

So what i would like to do, is sort of a best and worst of 2012, because it was a pretty big year for tv and movies, and there are some really good movies and some really good tv shows that got put out this year, and i'd like to do a condensed version of my old three part best of thing i used to write each year, simply because, well i'm a critic and critics do that sort of thing, so i think the best action at this point is to just jump right into it, what do you say? Alrighty then, .... a room a zoom zoom and awaaaaaaay we go!

Best Of 2012:

Best Movie Of 2012:

Not Fade Away

 

When I first saw Not Fade Away, I was expecting it to be just another movie that blatantly ripped off movies like Almost Famous or The Commitments, but instead, what I got was sort of like The Wonder Years with a band, which really if you think about it, The Wonder Years needed a band, that would have been awesome. Set in suburban New Jersey, and centering around the members of a garage band called The Twylight Zones, Not Fade Away, David Chase’s deeply felt love letter to the music of the Sixties, is a film about dreams that come true -- and the ones that never do.  For Chase, “It’s about anybody who has ever had a dream and about what it takes to actually realize that dream. Rock & roll is at the heart of the movie because for some of the characters, rock music is the gateway to transcendence, but it doesn’t end there.” Traditionally, most rock & roll movies have focused on the agony and ecstasy of “making it” on a grand scale, usually with thousands of fans screaming in the background. As a rule, we witness some band of brothers’ rise and fall, then their crash and burn, and perhaps the eventual resurrection.  As one might expect from a man best known as the creator of the groundbreaking television series The Sopranos, Not Fade Away is not your average rock & roll movie.  Instead, this is an intimate, powerful, alternately painful and funny drama about coming of age and the sort of indelible memories, musical and otherwise, that end up making us who we are.

 Best Drama Of 2012:

Lincoln

Its not very often that I agree with the majority of the critics out there, truth be told I find most others in my field to be pretentious douchebags who think because people look to them to give advice on movies and television to view, they go abit power hungry and believe they are the be all and end all of whats what. But in this case, I have to admit, they got this one right, this film is brilliant. I have to admit, I was abit worried at first, with Steven Spielberg talking for years and years how he felt his ultimate accomplishment in film would be to do a proper movie about Abraham Lincoln, whom he'd always admired and wished to do a film on, i was worried that this would turn into another Red Tails situation. For those that don't know the 2012 film Red Tails was a film that George Lucas has talked about wanting to make about The Tuskegee Airmen for nearly 20 years, and when he finally made it, it was an atomic sized bomb that came off more blaxploitation then historical action, and the film is often mocked and lampooned for just how bad it is. I bring it up because that was my fear with Lincoln, with a similar origin story as a "dream project" that was done as a means of a vanity project to solidify one director's place among the greatest of all time. Thankfully, Lincoln is true to what it should be, an often heartfelt, often frustrating and even often funny, look at the life of legendary president Abraham Lincoln, as he navigates through the passing of the laws to abolish slavery, covering also, the newly started civil war, his home life, and his interacting and navigating the political waters of Washington DC, oddly though, they left out his vast career in vampire hunting, but that aside, this film truly is brilliant, and worthy of best drama.

Best Comedy Of 2012

The Three Stooges

Much like with Lincoln and Not Fade Away, I have to admit, though at first I winced at the idea of a movie about the creators of the situation comedy, The Three Stooges, it wasn't that i didn't think a movie could be made about them, so much as I wasn't sure what way they were gonna go, were they gotta focus on them behind the scenes, their lives and struggles at a group, and how they did their best to replace Curly after the stroke and the public's dislike of Shemp and Curly Joe, you know, the serious route, or where they gonna just basically do a loving remake of their classic skits? I was on the fence, though I knew Will Sasso as Curly was the perfect choice. I do have to admit, I find myself pleasantly glad that this film was, for lack of a better term, a love letter to the kings of early sunday morning indie television, the movie doesn't really recreate or give you a behind the scenes history, what it does is, in a sense, reboot one of the most beloved trios of all time. The movie is told in classic Stooges style, and is full of both classic bits originated by the original three, but also adding some new ones, Moe on The Jersey Shore is hilarious, as is the idea of them being orphans who have no where to go but the orphanage they were left at, and now work at, mostly because Jane Lynch and Larry David as nuns are down right funny. Its hard to really get into explaining this movie with out giving away to much, but honestly, just have a look, you'll laugh at the straight up classic slapstick mixed with modern humor, and thats coming from me, a guy that was more of a Marx Bros. fan then a Stooges guy.

Best Animated Film Of 2012

Wreck-It Ralph

Back in 1988, when I was but a lower case me, and all our cartoons were 30 minute toy adds that actually had plots and stories, when our hip hop was non-threatening, when we all rode dinosaurs, and Tom Carvel, a man that sounded like a bricklayer who gargled each morning with lava hot tarmac and then smoked 3 packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day, spent his time selling us ice cream creations like Cookiepus, Fudgey The Whale, possible ice cream pedophile Hug Me The Bear, and Cookie O'pus, the drunken irish cousin of Cookiepus who fights against the british occupying his irish motherland and bans homosexuals from marching in his parades, it was a magical time really, and to top all off, we had a movie released called "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?". Whats so important about Who Framed Roger Rabbit that it warrants mentioning, is that it was not only an amazing film that also gave the world the wank material that is Jessica Rabbit, but it also was the first and only time that every known animation character from every studio current and last, all come together to bring life to a place called "Toontown" a place just outside of Hollywood where animated stars live together happily. I bring this up because to a degree, Wreck It Ralph is alot like Roger Rabbit, except instead of cartoons, its all about characters in video games. The story goes, that at night when the arcade closes, all the video game characters travel out of their games to a central meeting area thats like a big city, there are many things to do, places to go, ect, and everyone interacts with each other regardless of the game. This is the world of Wreck-It Ralph, a villain in the game Felix Fix-it Jr., where in he breaks and wrecks buildings for Felix to fix them. Ralph has been at it for 30 years now, and day after day of the same thing, he wrecks the buildings and Felix fixes them, he's tired. He's tired of wrecking things, everyone from the game shunning him simply because he's the bad guy when the game is being played. Ralph is a member of a villain support group, with many classic video game villains who you will all recognize, and one night, he tells them all, he no longer wishes to be a bad guy, he wants to be a good guy, much to the shock of his group mates who tell him he'll never be more than he is, its all he's programed to be. The movie from there is Ralph proving everyone wrong, and proving that you can be a hero if you want to be, you just have to believe in yourself. Seriously if you haven't seen this film, you have to, it was adorably cute in some spots, hilarious in others, and visually amazing in others, its such a great gem, really if you haven't seen it, do so.

Best Sci Fi Movie Of 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I guess you could call 2012 the year of Lincoln, with both a true life story, and a more exciting fictional life story on the movie screen, though granted they were at different times of the year. And though I went on and on about how great Lincoln is, as many a critic has this year, for my best sci fi film I wanted to give the award to the other, more exciting story of Abraham Lincoln, the story of a young man who was fueled with anger and vengeance for his dead parents, a hatred for vampires that can only be slated in one way, shining up his ax real nice, turning that son of a bitch sideways, and shoving it up their candy asses... or you know, beheading them or staking them, both of those also work pretty well as ways for Abe to send all the vampires he comes across to the smackdown hotel. The story itself is pretty awesome really, it tells the story of young Abe Lincoln, working on a plantation with his parents, and how he befriends a young black boy named William Johnson, who would be a life long friend, at one point Abe stops the plantation owner,  Jack Barts from whipping William, which angers him and he decides to take it out on Abe's parents, by killing them. Fast forward 9 years when teenage Abe Lincoln, full of rage tracks down Barts and tries to shoot him on a river side dock, this fails miserably, and is given a savage, super natural powered beat down by by Barts, he is infact almost killed until he's saved by a man named Henry Sturges, who takes young Abe Lincoln under his wing and teaches him in the ways of vampire hunting, explaining that Barts is a very powerful vampire. From there, they set off on a quest that though he keeps it secret, will factor into Lincoln's life even after he takes office, and into the civil war itself. Seriously if you haven't seen this awesomely untrue story of the life of our 16th president, you really should, its action packed and alot of fun.

Best Action Movie of 2012

The Avengers

And now we come to the movie most people were expecting me to gush over and give tons of awards, now though I will admit, The Avengers was the best movie of the summer, the highest grossing movie of the year, and proved that you can properly use like 8 superheroes in a film together, and still make it work flawlessly, even giving each character their own bit of spotlight,which is very hard to do in the confines of a single movie, specially a movie that clocks in at just a smidgen over 2 hours, seriously its, to use a phrase, marvelous. It modernizes the story of how the avengers came together, all to stop Loki, god of mischief, who in this version has enlisted the help of a being called The Other, and through him an army of alien warriors known as Chitauri, and all he has to do for them, is bring them the tesseract, the cube of unending power that was a key plot point in Captain America. This ofcourse sets in motion the actions that bring together all of the avengers, which as i'm sure you know, leads to alot of asskicking to be had by all. Sure, Avengers has its faults, its plotholes and screw ups, and if you're nitpicky you can pick them all apart pretty blatantly, but that isn't the point of this kind of film, its not ment to be the fodder for nerd debate like say The Dark Knight Rises, the film that tried and take the crown from the avengers, its supposed to be a fun lively romp through a world of superheroes and villains in bright outfits making a difference in the world, alot like reading a marvel comic book infact.

Best Foreign Film Of 2012

Where Do We Go Now?

This little known film is listed as a dark comedy, though other then maybe the location of the town it takes place in, surrounded by landmines and only one safe road of passage in and out, I find it more of a surrealist drama then a dark comedy, though there are some comedic bits here and there, but, thats pretty normal for any movie honestly. It tells the story of a peaceful little isolated town in Lebanon, where Muslims and Christians live peacefully together, they sort of have too with all the landmines surrounding the town on all sides, as news starts to spread that there is civil unrest between the two groups all over the country, the women of the town fear that all of that unrest will come to their little peaceful town. So they get together and through a series of events, some comical some not, they try and keep the peace, specially after a young Muslim boy was killed accidentally. This film is great in the sense it tells a little isolated story, about an isolated little town that is sometimes funny, and sometimes serious, and most of the time somewhere in the middle, that might seem boring to some, and thats ok for them, but me, I like a good self contained quirky story thats as lighthearted as it is serious with its message. If you've not seen this lovely arabic jem. you won't be let down, I promised you won't be let down.

Best Documentary Of 2012

Bully

 

I tend to find documentaries boring, unless they're about space or how Hitler survived World War 2 and ended up dying of old age at a secret compound in southern Argentina, or something like that,  but when i kept hearing people tell me to go see Bully, I figured to give it a look. Holy shit was I stunned by what I saw. i mean seriously. Not sense Scared Straight have i seen a documentary that smashes you in the face with a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire and lit on fire Mick Foley styley. Bully is a blunt, in your face, makes no apologies and spares no feelings, look at the growing problem of bullying in schools, and focuses on afew of the recent rash of suicides related to it in the last few years. This pulls no punches and shows you just how horrible teenagers in particular can be to each other, its seriously eye opening, when you have bullies trying to justify their actions as if they have the right to do what they do, its seriously eye opening, if you have a strong stomach, and aren't easily shocked, then seriously take a look at this one, you'll be amazed at just how much you will learn from it, and how long it will stay with you.

And now for afew secondary movie awards....

Best Fight Scene

John vs. Ted 

from "Ted"

 

I have to admit, when I saw Ted, I never believed that amist all of the laughing till I couldn't breathe, i would find myself watching the best fight scene ever filmed between a grown man and his magical living teddy bear, i'm not talking like afew punches here, i'm talking full on south boston brawl, lamps, pictures, mirrors, televisions, doors, sinks, if you can grab it, it gets bashed over the other guy's head, southie fight club rules baby. Seriously, you could put this scene up with anything in Boondock Saints and The Town and it would put them to shame, its hilarious and violent and crazy all at once, and to think it all started with one single sentence, "Sometimes, I wish I just got a Teddy Fucking Ruxpin...". 

Moment You Rewind The Dvd To Watch Again

Hulk owning Loki

in "The Avengers"

I don't even need to really explain this one, seriously just watch the gif, I could watch that shit on a loop over and over till the end of time. ....... puny god.

Ok thats it for Part 1, we'll be back soon with part 2, the worst, then onto tv!

i promise they'll be up sooner, was a busy first month and a half of the year

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BC   

The Avengers

The Avengers:

... A Bunch Of SuperHeroes Sitting Around Eating

Shwarma Together...

When Marvel Studios stated years ago, they would be making an Avengers film, the world looked on in awe, they wondered could it be possible, could they honestly be able to jam that many big name heroes into one film with enough screen time to properly give each one's fanbase love? Would they have a villain worthy of them as a whole, instead of one bad ass bad guy who fights only one of them normally? So many questions, so many moments of wondering, so many exclamation points put into online speculation statements. Marvel was smart about this, telling us it was on the horizon, and that all their films between then and now, would all be leading up to this common goal, normally with afew carefully placed small scenes with in each film itself, and a stinger scene at the end of each film's credits that connects it to the film to the one that shall be next in line, thus bridging them all together, like an epilogue scene between storylines and such, its really pretty brilliant when you think about it, and stands as one of the many reasons I'm glad Marvel Studios took over as much of its film properties as they have... now they just need Spiderman, The X-Men and the Fantastic Four back to make it fully what it can be, anyway, I degress, lets get into why we're all here shall we? You know it, you love it, hardcore comic book nerdporn...

The film starts pretty much where Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger left off, with Nick Fury arriving at a top secret SHIELD research facility where they are studying the small cube like relic that we last saw in the hands of The Red Skull before losing it to the ocean in Captain America, they call it "The Tesseract" but to us comic book people, it is ofcourse, The Cosmic Cube, the source of all knowledge and power in the universe, i guess they called it The Tesseract because "The Cosmic Cube" sounds kind of silly to non-long time comic book readers. Somehow, with their tinkering, SHIELD opens up a portal through space, and out steps exiled Norse God Loki, as if he was controlling those who were working on the project to bring it right to him. He walks through, he takes the cube, and walks off, using his super mad jedi mind control skills on several members of SHIELD along the way, including Clint "Hawkeye" Barton, for those of you who don't know who Hawkeye is, he was the bow and arrow carrying SHIELD agent in Thor, and if you haven't seen Thor, then seriously what are you doing watching this film to begin with? This attack prompts Fury to inact The Avengers Initiative, the plan he's been popping up talking to various characters about in the movies leading to this one. 

Next we see the team coming together, being brought in from all over the world, and eventually they're joined by Thor, who's come to collect Loki, and after the obligatory fight scenes and sarcastic shit talking that comes along with films of this nature and their format, they all come together against their common enemy, Loki and his army of aliens known as The Chitauri, with whom its revealed he traded the cosmic cube to a being known as The Other for. The Chitauri are infact the "ultimates" version of marvel mainstay villains The Skrulls, they're shapechanging green beings who, well, shapechange, they're pretty formidable and are seen as some of the most powerful warriors in the universe, the climatic battle between The Avengers and the invading hordes is probably the best fight scene in the last 10 years as far as I'm concerned, and possibly the greatest superhero movie scene ever filmed in general with out a doubt. Oh sure, most of this film is basically fightporn, but no one really cares, its just pure out and out special effects awesome, and really thats all you're here for, you aren't expecting anything thats going to sweep awards season were you? Its a basic origin story of a team of superheroes, oh sure it might seem kind of plotless to some, but its a movie based on one of the greatest comic books ever, thats all that matters, well that and that they won't drop the ball like DC will do with the Justice League movie, well and all their non-batman movies, but again, i digress off point.

What my major point of astonishment about this film is, and this is a purely a writing mechanic's thing, the fact that with such a big cast, and really, make no mistake they crammed alot more characters into this film then you think, and with a cast this large, you have to give each character abit of spotlight, simply because, well, every character, even down to the supporting characters, have fans who wanna see them have a moment, sure its silly, but thats just how it works, and amazingly, The Avengers give every single one of them their moment to shine, even secondaries like SHIELD's Marissa Hill and Phil Coulson, even The Other, who is an original character created for this film, gets his moment to shine, its incredible really, specially when you have such big hitters as this film does, you gotta pander alittle to each character's fans; Thor has to swing his mighty hammer, Captain America has to swing his mighty shield so that all who appose the shield must yield, Iron Man must douchebag about, The Hulk needs to smash, Hawkeye must prove using antiquated weapons is still kind of cool, Black Widow has to be insanely hot, Nick Fury has to want these motherfucking chitauri off his motherfucking helicarrier, ect.. Anyway my point is its amazing they could work it all in, because logically, it would have ended up as horrible as the fight scenes in the pre-First Class X-Men movies, which if you remember, were just an awful awful mess.. I commend them for this, it is so very hard to do.

So the big question, is The Avengers worth seeing? Honestly? With out a shadow of a doubt, there is no question in my mind that the only answer is HELL YES. This movie is everything you want in a comic book movie, as well as everything you want in a summer blockbuster, its big, its over the top, its loud, its explosions and dudes in spandex fighting and Scarlett Johanson-y, and the best part is, it isn't gonna say its sorry for it! Its just laid out flat like that, this is a film about a team of superpowered beings, beating the hell out of a trickster god and his army of shapechanging aliens who in the regular continuity are ballchinians, its just so simple of a story, and so amazingly good even though it shouldn't be by all logical accounts. But thats the biggest joy with comic book movies, you have a good guy, sometimes with powers, sometimes with tech, you see their story begin, and then its basically alot of punching and fighting and catchphrase saying, and we don't care, because they're so awesome in their simplicity and grandeur at the same time. Its truly why I love these types of film so much. 

Plus, I love that the next set of marvel movies will focus on the Infinity Gauntlet, one of the greatest things in all of marvel history... Bring on round two!!!!... and ofcourse, how can you go wrong when your trailers before the movie are for The Dark Knight Rises and The Amazing Spiderman? Seriously, epic from previews to the very end.

But if you aren't sold yet, here is the trailer.....

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BC

Real Steel

Real Steel:

I spent this whole movie waiting for a head to pop up and spin around..

..also I've still not forgiven Hugh Jackman for Wolverine.

I must admit, I was rather confused and abit unsettled when i first heard the premise of this film, honestly, it had made me think that someone in Hollywood was trying to get as much mileage as they could out of Hugh Jackman's at times questionable and shaky starpower as fast as they could before we sent him back to the merry old land of oz where he can be forgotten about and become a footnote, like so much Paul Hogan, Russel Crowe and Eric Bana before him, but instead of sharing the same fate as those once well known aussie chaps, Jackman pulls a sort of Mel Gibson in The Beaver, where just when you think he's done, after a string of failed movies and semi spotty PR related moments, he pulls a pretty amazing rabbit out of his hat or wherever he keeps rabbits, because lets face it, these days, even dirty magicians get work, and those rabbits could be hidden anywhere. Its a rather neat trick really, not one that should be done often in life mind you, but, one thats just brilliant enough to work at the right time under the right conditions. I say this because lets face it, after the atomic sized bomb that was Wolverine, and being able to shake the horrible and rightly canceled tv series Viva Laughton!, and really only being able to get any kind of respect for his stage work, Hugh Jackman really needed himself a winner, and though its got its flaws and pitfalls, and probably didn't do as much as most would have hoped at the box office, Real Steel might have been just enough to save Jackman from having to click his heels and wish there was no place like home just yet.

Real Steel is, for a quick explanation, basically Rock'um Sock'um Robots meets Pokemon, no seriously thats basically what it is. See, it takes place about 20 or so years in our future, just far enough to see tech advance beyond what we've got, and close enough so they didn't need to build space age background cars and stuff, and in this future, the "human element" has been taken out of the sport of boxing, which has made it the most popular sport in the world, bigger than even Soccer and Midget tossing, as hard to believe as that is. Each robot boxer is operated by a trainer, who basically just operates a giant video game controller/iPad looking thing thats got all their preset moves on it, thus basically making it a sport of who can build the best robot with the best combination of moves, thus making it devoid of the human element that makes boxing so great of a sport to watch and to make films about. But what it lacks in the allure and mystique of other films centered around the sweet science, Real Steel makes up for with a mix of mysterious allure to a world of what is basically robot fight club and not one, but two underdog stories, one being the story of Atom, the out of date junkyard discovered by accident robot with the rarest function of all a "shadow function" meaning it can learn and mimic move for move whatever the person its looking at is doing, and the story of Charlie Kenton and his son Max Kenton, Charlie is a former boxer from before robots took over the sport, he's become a trainer is isn't exactly good at it, he's down on his luck when he discovers that his former girlfriend, and mother of his only son, Max, had died. And through a series of events, Charlie and Max end up spending a summer together, where in they discover Atom, take him on the robot fighting circuit, and bond along the way as they both rediscover just who Charlie Kenton used to be, and who he'll be again. Its abit formula and cliche by some standards, but as with any trope like this, when its done right, its done right and is enjoyable, Real Steel does it right, and it is enjoyable, its never gonna be one of those movies that changes your life, well, unless you're inspired to create an entire robot boxing league, then I guess it will, but still, its a fun 2 hour ride that shouldn't leave you wondering why you bothered at all.

Now that you've had the good, its time ofcourse, for the bad. There isn't an incredibly large amount of bad, its mostly glaringly obvious things that are easy to point out and leave people wanting for more to make the film abit more rounded. There could be alot more in the explaining the origin of robot boxing, maybe abit of a flashback sort of cut away scene showing the evolution from a robot boxing a human, to full on bot on bot action, going into more detail then just "people wanted a real bloodsport instead of technical boxing" sort of half assed four or five line explanation of the whole industry, I'd have also liked to see the story of Charlie's finest moment in the boxing ring acted out over narration instead of just telling the story while holding the article, and I'd have liked to see more bot on bot boxing, the movie is about robotic boxing, but there is very little robot boxing involved at all, that doesn't really sit well with me, it doesn't really bring the drama to the few fight scenes you do see, you see a montague but thats it, no real build up seeing Charlie and Max bond, or seeing more then small bits of them both training Atom, just little things like that, things that make it a well rounded story and gives you more depth and emotion, its kind of the same problem i had with the film "Larry Crowe" as well, just barely missing the mark of awesome by means of just abit of over editing, but again, that doesn't make it a bad movie, it just really leaves you wanting more, maybe enough to get hit on the side of the head with a soup ladle all orphan styley, you know, if you're so inclined, or you know, into getting hit on the head with a soup ladle like you're in a Dickens novel, either way, whatever floats your boat, personaly, water floats mine, but I'm weird.

So the big question now, is Real Steel worth watching? Well, yes and no, if you don't mind a film where you just sit back and enjoy the not to hard to follow story and just enough action to keep your mind interested in whats going on, then yes, most definitely its worth going to see. But, if you're not up for a movie that'll really leave you wanting and wondering about the gaps and barely mentioned bits that should have been in the film, then no, its definitely not worth your time. Over all though the film was rather good, or as good as films get these days, with to much thought and prep put into the big blockbusters and the awards fodder, movies like this tend to get overshadowed, and that doesn't make them bad, just, less of what they could be. But honestly, regardless of all its faults, you should give Real Steel a shot, you shouldn't be let down.



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BC

10 Movies From 2011 Everyone Should See

10 Movies From 2011 Everyone Should See...:

Or, How I Learned To Stop Bitching For Two Hours 

At A Time And Love Some Bombs

Its been awhile sense I've done one of my many lists that mojo mocks me about out of jealousy that he can't seem to formulate a list, or those guest reviews he's been saying he'll do sense 2009, but in any event,it really has been awhile, and sense I decided to forgo all the work that would be doing a best and worst list for last year, I felt it would be best, and more fun, to just share with you all, 10 films I rather enjoyed from the past year, this isn't by any means my best and worst list, just a list of 10 films I truly enjoyed and feel the need to share with you all, plus, well, its obvious i gotta blog more lol

In any event, here we go...

10. Cars 2

Now first off, I want to state, I am not saying this from the stance of a pixar fan, yes, I do enjoy most of the movies they've made, but I'm not one of those of the belief that "pixar can not falter" it is possible for them to do so, and they have afew times, seriously, how many Bugs Life or movies about that cooking rat have they made? That being said, I will also admit that I could see alot of what people were saying was wrong about this film, that its plot moves in strange confusing ways, that its too Mater focused leaving Lightening McQueen, and the rest of the cast in the background mostly, and that the world wide gran prix really isn't much more then a mcguffin, and all the rest of the complaints that have plagued this film sense it came out. And though I can see where alot of the complaints came from, and yes, they are all valid points, and I can see why someone would complain and say this movie is bad for any of them. But the thing is, no matter how much I tried to hate this movie, with all of its faults, with my hate of Larry the Cable Guy, the sadness that George Carlin was dead, but yet his character Filmore the bus plays a big role in the film, and so many more reasons I could have to hate this film, I just can't do it. I just can not hate Cars 2 no matter how many holes in the plot I try and drive Mac the Truck through, there is just something about it that makes you love it, even though its blatantly flawed on many levels, you can try all you want, but it just won't happen, you can try all day long to find just enough wrong with this film to banish it to the realm of bad movies that should be forgotten, but everytime you try, you remember just as many good things they snuck in, as there is bad. Its very annoying that way, but it also makes a film thats worth sitting down and having a nice all ages friendly laugh for 2 hours. And make no mistake, even though it will frustrate you cuz you can't find enough flaws to hate it, you will infact laugh yourself silly at the idea of a popemobile instead a popemobile.

9. Super 8

I remember reading the write up for this film, and I remember getting so very excited about it, just the concept got me worked up, and as long time readers will remember, I couldn't stop raving about this film when I reviewed it over the summer. Oh sure there have been tons of kids help an alien phone home then watch as it leaves for parts unknown out there in the universe, and many will argue that to them there are better, and that its just Cloverfield in the 1979s with kids instead of 20something douchebags and not as much first person views through the camera, and people can debate that all they want till the world ends, and honestly, i don't care, I love this film. I love that its kind of Cloverfield meets The Explorers, I love it almost as much as the fact that as you read this, 40 people just googled "the explorers" to see what I'm talking about. See, I understand that no matter what, people gonna hate, and I respect their right to do so, but the thing is, they don't see what this film really is, its a love letter to back when children's movies weren't made of complete suck and fail, to back when it was ok to have afew harsh words and some not too violent but still scary violence, and terror that was actually terrifying. If you didn't like Super 8 the first time around, give it another shot, but this time, look at it though the same eyes you'd watch The Goonies or The Last Starfighter or Time Bandits, or one of those beloved classics, and I think you will be greatly surprised by how different it looks to you when you do.

8. Rubber

Now, this might surprise alot of people, and to be honest, I am shocked bit myself I enjoyed this wonderful direct to dvd film, because often with films that never see release outside of a film festival no matter how obscure, or get no theater release at all, tend to be lazy and sloppy and really really bad, but thankfully this film proved that wrong. I love when what starts out as a hunt for a film that is gonna be so bad I have to laugh at it, becomes something I truly and wholeheartedly enjoy so much more then I ever believed that I would. It takes alot for a film to surprise me, and though you might not believe it, Rubber truly did just that. I remember finding it simply because me and afew friends were scavenging netflix for something we could all agree on watching, when the description left us all dead in our tracks and just in so much awe we had to see it. For those of you that don't know what Rubber is, its a surrealist comedy horror set in the area outside of Lancaster California where a discarded tire named Robert The Tire becomes self aware and decides he wants to explore the world, as he rolls around discovering life, he also discovers he can take life, not just by rolling over it, but he can explode things with his mind, he discovers at this point that he really loves to take life, and embarks on a killing spree. Its just crazy with its complete surreality and out of left field nature that makes you just wanna keep watching it, its falls somewhere between comedy brilliance on the level of the great Andy Kaufman and one of those high end arthouse films where afterwards you find yourself wondering for weeks, what the naked girl was doing in the field by the windmill with that donkey and the ronin mask and the bag of yukon gold potatoes, because the film never tells you, and you really wanna know cuz its keeping you up at night with confusion. So if you've never seen or heard of this film, and you want something thats just so out there that you just need to see it to believe it, or that you love lovingly made spoofs of the classic grindhouse genres. or are a believer in Wings Hauser's acting ability, give this a shot, because its so crazy you just gotta see it.

7. The Beaver

Now, before you all go off and get offended or mad here, hear me out, I feel The Beaver got a raw deal, it suffered from what i call "Powder Syndrome", meaning just before the film's release, someone involved with its production, in this case, its star Mel Gibson, did something horrible to turn the people against them and ruin their public image just before the film was to see screens. I call this Powder Syndrome because its alot like in 1995 when the brilliant film Powder was released, and completely ruined all the critical and movie going buzz Powder had gotten, and most theaters that would have shown it, refusing too, and thus the film would fade into the background and be forgotten till long after the scandal it was at the center of was forgotten, and then it would be cheered for the triumph it was. I mention this because The Beaver is another case of that instance. If you are among the many who didn't bother with this movie that, before Mel Gibson told the world he hated jews or whatever he did this time that he's done 10 times before, had a TON of ocscar award buzz as well as critical buzz like you wouldn't believe, then seriously give it a try now, and if it helps, just don't think of Mel Gibson as Mel Gibson, think of him as an aussie character actor playing a depressed man who has a mental breakdown because he can't handle life, somehow discovers through a puppet beaver that changes his life in ways he never knew were possible. Its truly a brilliant movie about how we view the mentally unstable and how life is so much harder then we all ever thought. And if you can't get past the fact its Mel Gibson, remember this, everyone hated Mickey Rourke till he played what was basically himself in The Wrestler, maybe this should be Mel's answer to that? Seriously if you haven't checked it out, you really should, if for nothing else, to see Jodie Foster argue with a beaver puppet, and all the metaphorical stuff that can mean.

6. Restless

The first thing that struck me about this little known but often buzzed about film was the fact that it was, in a sense, the closest thing we'd get to a proper remake of Harold and Maude, oh sure they could make an outright remake, where Harold is an emokid or a goth and Maude is played by some smoking hot cougar, because thats how it works in modern hollywood, but that would just not work for people who don't like being shit on by an industry who doesn't listen to them. Something akin to the way Restless works will infact be the closest we will ever get, and for me, thats just fine. Sure its abit odd, a creepy morbidly obsessed 19 year old who attends the funerals of people he's never met and is friends with the ghost of a kamikaze pilot, and then he meets this girl who does the same thing, but she's doing it for another reason, but the end result is the same, this is basically a modern retelling of Harold and Maude, which I rather enjoy. I also rather like the fact it stars Mia Wasikowka, who you all might know as Alice in the recent beautiful but flawed beyond belief Tim Burton take on Alice In Wonderland, and who I'll always remember as Lilya in Suburban Mayhem, because, well honestly, I'm a sucker for people who swear and act trashy in aussie movies lol

5.  Red State

 

As a means to prove that he can do more then just his New Jersey movies, after his attempt at a buddy film "Cop Out" failed, Kevin Smith, nerd turned cult director turned comic book writer turned guy involved with the tv show Reaper, turned director out to prove his worth, decided to write what could be one of the most fucked up horror movies made in the last 20 years. Red State is a horror movie in the sense that real life possibilities can scare the hell out of you. Basically, its what happens when bible belt beliefs become not only fanatically insane, but as crazy as they are, they're also just as well armed, and also believe they're above all law except for god, and that they can get away with murder as long as they believe its in his name. The film will touch on all things we know of as hated by republicans; homosexuality, marijuana and other drugs, belief that all races and creeds are equal, all the things that set off the red staters. All the things they spend their lives hating and trying to destroy, in this film, the massive cult like church and its leader who are the main baddies, try to destroy, right to the bitter end. This film might not be for everyone, and thats fine, but, the fact it was created by a guy who is known for his comedy and is one half of Jay and Silent Bob, will blow your damn mind out the back of your head. I know horror isn't for everyone, but, god damn is this movie something to see, even if its just once, you gotta check it out.

4.  Attack The Block

This might be the most argued over film on this entire list. Some will tell you its a brilliant fresh take on the whole alien invasion film genre, that was much needed in a world where we'd have to suffer though such recent shit as Skyline and other half assed films that made no sense, and others will tell you its totally shit and nothing more then glorifying lower class life in the estates of south London. The people who believe its total shit are ofcourse completely wrong, but chances are they're fans of Manchester United, so no one really cares what they think anyway. Attack The Block, for those that haven't seen it, is a british alien invasion action film, where after accidentally killing a small alien, a group of teenagers from a south london estate (thats like a housing project to us outside the uk), along with a young doctor they cross paths with, have to fend off an alien invasion of these eye-less wolf like creatures with glowing teeth and drool, only thing is, as I'm sure you're all aware, its not as easy to get guns and explosives as it is here in the united states, an american teenager would just go grab some machine guns and explosives at the first sign of an alien that doesn't look like its trying to phone home, kids in the UK don't have that option, so they have to use what they can procure from around the area to help them in their fight, baseball bats, frying pans (frying pans right? who knew?), fireworks, swords and machetes. This movie plays out like what could be the greatest video game in years, and is just so very fun. Its got so much appeal, the music, the concept, and the fact if this were made here in america, it would star some rappers who can't act for shit and would suck beyond belief. So if you want some nice no brain needed fun, or you wanna have a nice new take on the classic alien invasion story, or just like to see teenagers hitting things with baseball bats, then if you've not seen this you really should, its just so fun.

3. The Muppets

Yeah like this is a surprise to anyone right? lol Its never been a secret that I am huge muppets fan, being such a fan of Jim Henson I had no choice but to be honestly. And though some said there were many flaws in this comeback film, I don't care. See, for those that will get the reference, this film is to The Muppets, what Scooby Doo On Zombie Island is to Scooby Doo, which for those who don't get that reference means its a realistic modernized take that brings new life into a long lived franchise by giving it new ground to build on, as well as bringing new fans, but also staying true to its core material, in both cases, it brought some serious and dramatic elements to a comedic powerhouse that was nothing but comedy for over 40 years. Its a tricky and slippery slope they were playing on, but thankfully for them it worked out beautifully. They use the term "the film we've been waiting for" around alot, but honestly, with all its hilarity and cuteness and goofball antics, as well as getting literally every single muppet ever created in on the act even if for just a moment, this film was such a joy and delight that I am happily waiting for the next one to come along and make my life awesome by means of puppetry again.

2. Super

You know, at first glance, Super looks like nothing more then a lower budget version of Kick Ass, where in the main character gets tired of all the crime in the world and decides to fight back superhero styley, and along the bloody way becomes a folk hero beyond all knowledge. Super, though similar in the fact the lead dons a superheroing suit and fights crime, is nothing at all like Kick Ass, in Super, our lead has gone completely insane before he decides to become a superhero, using it as a way to deal with the anger and rage and confusion inside him from the horrible events of his life that led to him becoming a hero, he calls himself The Crimson Bolt and becomes more and more unhinged as the film goes, eventually gaining a sidekick Boltie, a slutty dressed girl who's even crazier then he is, which makes him more insane, and more violent, its kind of crazy, and honestly if it wasn't for the fact its a dark comedy take on the whole real world superhero thing, hidden inside the decent into insanity of the average every man, this movie wouldn't be worth anything outside of some WTF factor. But still, i can't stop watching it, its just so wrong that its so funny at the same time. So if you haven't seen it, you really should.

1. Another Earth

In science fiction its not uncommon to find stories about the idea there is another earth out there just on the other side of the sun where we can't see it, its been around for almost a hundred years in some form or another, most comic book fans will jump to marvel's "counter earth" and DC's many different earths, all of which had to be condensed into one to stop confusing people. And in the grand design of such ideas, comes one of the most common stories we all ponder when thinking of another earth out there, if our counterpart made the same mistakes we did, or if their life turned out completely different then ours did. That is the basis for this story, the story of Rhoda Williams, a young brilliant girl who seems to have the world ready to bow at her feet, until one night, she isn't paying attention to where she's going, and causes a fatal accident, which turns her life upside down, from there its a story of regret and atonement, the whole while we hear news reports of the discovery of a second earth, and everyone starts to wonder what its like, what the people are like, what the differences are, if they're just like us, things like that. And in the end, not only is there an answer to that question, but we're left wondering just how different they are deep down, and we also are left wondering if Rhoda will actually forgive herself for all the accidental bad she's done. Its an incredible film that mostly went over looked last year, if you haven't seen it, you really should, its just brilliant.


So thats my list, again, I'm stating this isn't a 10 Best list, just a list of 10 films I feel are worth watching that came out last year, some of which were big hits, some of which went rather unnoticed and overlooked by most, but still i rather liked them. So if you haven't given them a look, please do so.



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BC

Weep For The Children: A Rant About Children's Films

Weep For The Children: 

A Small Rant About The State Of Children's Films

Recently, I had the displeasure of watching what passes for children's films these days. And after finding myself surprisingly able to hold in the rage and blood vomit from the full frontal assault of endless one liners aimed at being the children related equivalent of an internet meme, followed by endless pointless visual and audio gags and pointlessly uptight people played for "comedy" in completely watered down and ignorant tasteless lazy attempts at film making, I found myself thinking about it, and thinking how the genre of children's films has gone from a genre of much beloved classics that span the gambit of most genres; action/adventure, sci fi, comedy, animation, drama, and to the extent of just scary enough to give alittle fright, but not nightmares, there is even some things that would be seen as horror, well to a child anyway.

I can remember my childhood watching such great films as The Goonies, Time Bandits, the Explorers, The Neverending Story, Watership Down, and many others that when held up to what is made today, there is almost no honest way to compare, you look at the films of generations past, and you can clearly see the difference, there was storytelling, there was actual acting, there was conflict where a villain, though comical, was clearly a villain not some random uptight adult figure who is uptight for no real reason other then they're an adult. And bullies are bullies who are more then just a simple vague idea of a bully thats been watered down as to not offend anyone. Think about it, can you honestly put any modern children's movie bad guy up against characters like The Nothing, or Jenner from The Secret Of NIMH or The Red Bull from The Last Unicorn, or hell even Judge Dredd from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Hell can you even pick out a clear definitive out and out bad guy in any modern kids movie? One thats a legitimate evil person and not some adult trying to force a group of children to follow the rules but only ends up the punchline of 90 minutes worth of fart jokes, followed by one or all of said children screaming whatever the line they want kids to remember from the film at the top of their vocal range? Yeah, if you're having trouble, don't worry, you aren't the only one. I've sat down for a good long while, looked through my DVDs, my VHS, downloaded stuff, and went through every single list I could find of children's movies, and I couldn't really find one that had a truly scary definitively bad guy in them, its sad really.

But I noticed something else when I was looking through my lists and timelines, I found when this change from classic beloved children's movies that didn't talk down to you or insult the viewers, changed over the predominate slop they have now, it was, surprisingly, the same year I credit for children's programing and well entertainment in general going down hill, 1990, the year Jim Henson died, and the year a movie aimed at children came out that some of you might have heard of, it goes by the name of "Home Alone". Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Home Alone, but it signaled a change in how movies aimed at children were made, much like how Toy Story changed the way CGI films were made, it proved that if you take a young child who seems likable and funny and has just enough acting skill to make it believable that they can pull off being on screen for most of the film, set said child with an unlimited access to just bout anything in the house he will ever need, with no parents to tell him no, regardless of the danger involved, and somehow allow him to outwit some apparently stupid adults who are underestimating said child, and have each scene be literally visual gag over visual gag, followed by pretty lame 2rd grade level jokes and mugging dumb faces at the camera. This formula seems to have been the entire point of that film, and 90% of the films aimed at children sense then, have followed the same path, the problem is, though it worked once, that doesn't mean it will work again, lightening rarely strikes twice, no matter how much Hollywood would like you to think otherwise.

Now this isn't saying that every children's movie before 1990 was a work of art, believe me, for every wonderful amazing film like The Dark Crystal there was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Turtles In Time, much like for every Harry Potter film there has been twice as many Land Before Time films, but you get the idea, I'm not really crapping on the last 20 or so years, I'm just pointing out there is a massive lack of quality that started to slide back then and has been continuity sliding down the water slide of fail faster and faster as each year goes, and its really alarming, not just to me as a writer, but as a movie lover as I am, its sad to see a genre that went from such giant and brilliant productions as Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory and The Phantom Tollbooth which where just so amazingly visual and well written, has fallen to such horrible and lazy films as Unaccompanied Minors and the completely lazily named and lazily written film Hotel For Dogs. I just wish the people who make this slop, and more so, the people who write it, would look at what they're doing, and realize they aren't doing anything but dumbing down the youth of the world with their lack of ability to tell a compelling story.

Now to some this whole thing might not seem like a big deal, but think about it, each generation of film makers are inspired by the movies they watch as children, and sense I'm pretty sure most parents won't let their kids watch movies by Stanley Kubrick, Akira Kurosawa, James Whale, Jean-Luc Godard, Howard Hawks, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, just to name afew, or even the more recent brilliance of some of the more recent directors who have shown they are very good at what they do, I know it makes me sound old, but honestly, I weep for what the next generation of film makers, and the films they will make, when they have the crap thats out there now to inspire them.

And if the rest of you think about it, maybe you will too. Or maybe I need to put a dollar in the Douchebag Jar.


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BC

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon:

Amazingly, With All The Brilliant Homages To Transformers Mythos

Micheal Bay Still Manages To Make Robotic Nightmare Fuel Awesome

For the few of you out there who are loyal readers, and for those of you who know me, you are all aware that among my many geek tenancies, the one that overpowers all is my love of The Transformers, I am the definition of lifelong fan, with a collection boarders on wasting my entire life spent in an eternal pokemon like hunt for new or old ones I am missing, and a collective value to match. I am constantly rambling off trivia about the various versions of the tv show or toys, to the point it annoys most around me. One of the most rambled off facts is how I really didn't care much for 2009's Revenge Of The Fallen, feeling it was made with almost no care or thought or even with out a real plot, almost to the point someone honestly thought because all of us Transformers fans came running like the bulls in Pamplona to anything with the transformers name, we'll pile money into anything. And yes, we flocked to Revenge Of The Fallen in almost Exodus like fashion, but that didn't stop us, myself included, from pointing out its many flaws, but assuming that like with every film series, there is always that one film that isn't as good as the others; with Star Wars its Jedi, with Harry Potter its The Half Blood Prince, with Back To The Future its Part 2, with Dirty Harry it was The Death Pool, and so on, it just happens that ours, we hoped, would just be Revenge Of The Fallen, and thankfully, that assumption was true. For you see, Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon has done what it was ment to do, show us all that Micheal Bay was sorry for how horrible the film before it was, and to maintain a promise he made to us all that the final film in his trilogy would be beyond epic, and oh my, did he ever make this film beyond epic!

What Bay did was almost as epic as his bold promises and statements that he was going to use Dark Of The Moon to make up for how bad Revenge Of The Fallen was, he made the writers sit and watch all of the original cartoon from the 1980s, something both writers stated they really hadn't done "but ment too" and from that, they not only took a plot for the film itself, but found many bits to homage that only us life long fans would have gotten, Bay also made them read what the film's fan consultant felt was the best comic books to give you the feel they're going for as well, which ofcourse lead to even more Easter eggs tossed in for the long time fans, which delighted so very many people, even if some things seemed a tad forced and like they slightly missed the point, but you have to allow for stuff like that, not everything is gonna always work outside the original context, and thats fine. Because what does work is just so awesome that afew weeks after seeing it for the first time, and only recently seeing it again to refresh before writing this, I'm as excited as I was the first time I saw the film, which as any of you will know is an astounding feat unto itself.

The plot of the film itself, is where the homages to the fanbase begin, but I'll explain all of that later. The film starts in 1969 on the day the first moon landing happened, they use the fact that there was that 20 minute gap in footage and broadcast rely to explain that the astronauts investigated and then brought back various things from, a giant space ship that crashed not far from the moon landing site. After that we are transported into the modern era were we once again meet up with our hapless male lead Sam Witwicky who is now living in Washington DC and is trying to find a job, because I guess saving the world twice, and getting a medal from President Obama, not only doesn't get you free college, it also doesn't get you a pretty sweet job working in the government with the robots whom you have helped save the entire world. Yes, apparently, saving the world kinda sucks. But, you get a brand new insanely hot blond girlfriend who works for some high up consulting company, who doesn't care that you were dumped by your last girlfriend for some unknown reason, but you were left with her pet robot who turns into a radio controlled car, and his weird little friend who turns into a laptop, and she also left you with her dog, this is Sam's life while BumbleBee is off doing top secret autobot stuff, which also leaves him with a broke ass old Datson to drive about in, Sam, as you can guess, isn't really all that happy. We then see the Autobots as they travel around the world tracking down any signal of energon they can find, making sure that its not a decepticon. In doing this, they discover, inside the reactor at Chernobyl, there is a power cell that is of Autobot technological basing. Not only that, but its from The Ark, which we found out is the name of the ship on the moon. To say this pisses the autobots off is an understatement beyond all comprehension.

When the autobots return to base, they not only meet a new agent from the Department of Defence whom they must deal with, but accuse her of holding out on them, which she then states she was going to brief them on, or more so, have someone more close to the mission brief them on it, that person being legendary astronaut Buzz Aldrin, who explains he was sent to the moon to investigate the wreckage, and bring back samples and photos of what they see. Prime decides they must take the ship the last group of autobots came to earth in to fly up and investigate the wreck himself. After introducing the ship's crew "The Wreckers" as they're called, and being explained we've not met them yet because they're kept on site at NASA simply because they're, and I quote directly here, "A couple of assholes", Prime and Ratchet head to the wreckage of The Ark, where they discover only a small amount of pillars for what they call a "Space Bridge" they also discover the body of a former autobot leader, Sentinel Prime, whom Optimus claims was autobot leader before he was, and that he disappeared after creating The Space Bridge, a long distance teleportation system. They take him and what they've gathered, back to earth where Optimus revives Sentinel Prime with the power of the Matrix of Leadership. And from there, once the main cast is set, and they discover that Megatron's plan is to bring their home planet of Cybertron into orbit around earth, in true transformers style, it becomes almost nonstop action with bot on bot action, bot on Sam action, and general mindless and limitless ultra violence sent at you via breakneck speed with many wonderful and amazing action scenes, that range from amazing to dazzling to completely outstanding, and it doesn't let up till the very end through all the twists and turns and surprises along the way, Micheal Bay takes us on a rollercoaster ride one more time, and we all love it. All the way to the very end, which it really pains me to leave out a big chunk of the film so you don't get over spoilered or lost shock value, I've been trying to keep from giving way more then the first 20 or so minutes of the film, and well trust me, it pains me to not tell you! lol but you'll all have to see how it all goes for yourselves. I will say this though, the final battle between the Autobots and Decepticons, gets COMPLETELY dark, like, we're talking Deer Hunter POW camp dark, like to the point I actually felt alot of it was a tad TOO violent and unsettling, which really says something.

Now I'd like to explain why this movie was doubly amazing and just plain awesome, it was full of what we in the transformers fandom call "fanwank" or as most of the world would call them Easter Eggs, and let me tell you, this film is FULL of them. The Space Bridge is from the original cartoon, it was a transwarp transportation system that could send you from earth to Cybertron in afew seconds (though to be fair by the end of season 1 they'd traveled there via ship in what seemed like no more then afew hours max, so no one's really sure how far away the planet is), and at one point, in a multi part story called "The Ultimate Doom" where Megatron brought the planet to earth's orbit to try and generate power from all the earthquakes and floods that would happen if another planet came that close to earth, they literally lifted the concept from that episode, that also featured a human working with the Decepticons, however that plot point was more lifted from "Megatron's Master Plan" where he promised a rich business man reign over the enslaved population of earth once they took over everything, when all they had to do is convince the world leaders to banish The Autobots from the planet, and then take over, only be be double crossed. The scene with Megatron sitting on what used to be the Lincoln Memorial is taken from the episode "Atlantis Arise" though admittedly, it was ALOT funnier when you see it in animation form. There are other awesome homages too, The Ark was the name of Optimus Prime's ship in most versions of the mythos, and it normally crashes on earth, and in one case in the series "armada" did crash on the moon, it looked alot like the wreckage in the film. In every incarnation of the series that Sam "Spike" Witwicky appears, he dates and then marries a blond tech genius named Carley, though Dark Of The Moon is the first time she's depicted as British, this was to correct the fact that most of the fanbase were upset at this whole Mikaela Banes thing we had to sit through in the other two films. Shockwave as a solitary hunter is a play on his lone warrior of logic persona from the comic books, and his "pet" the Driller looks alot like a creature from the cartoon called The Dweller who ate the lifeforce of Transformers. And finally, possibly the best fanwank of all, when Laserbeak, the small bird like decepticon is hiding out as a photocopier, he beeps afew bars of the original cartoon's opening theme. I've seen this film 4 times now, and I'm not kidding he really does it, its the greatest thing of all time. Now how the hell is all of that for packing all sorts of fan love into one film? Simply amazing.

So ofcourse now we come to the big question, is Transformers: Dark Of The Moon worth watching? Well the answer is yes and no, it all depends on your taste and point of view. If you're a life long fan of the transformers, then its a must see, hell the fanwank alone makes it almost a religious experience, if you're a lover of action movies, then its a must, its 100% pure Micheal Bay style awesome and explosions and complex but insanely awesome action scenes that go on forever, you'll love it. However, if you are a parent, and your child wanting to go see it, then please, keep the kids away from this one, there is alot of swearing, which really is no big deal, in the 1986 animated movie we had swearing, but more so, this one isn't for the kiddies simply by the amount of dark and twisted violence in it. I'm not kidding, from about the half way point when a major plot point happens, the cast starts to drop like flies, all in very dark ways, infact during the final battle there is a scene where the autobots are lined up like POWs and Soundwave says "Understood, no prisoners, only war trophies", then he and the rest of the decepticons not only execute one of the autobots by means of shooting him in the back of the head, but then they attempt to shoot another one by shoving him down over the body of the one they just killed. Its a seriously unsettling scene, that might be nightmare fuel for the younger viewers of the world. So keep that in mind when deciding if its something you want your young ones to see. So there you have it, possibly the most nerded up review you'll ever read of a transformers film. My only hope is that assuming they do a second trilogy, they'll do more with it, maybe explore pre-earth life for the transformers, or something. So many ideas, but time will tell. So for now, if you're up to it, go enjoy this marvelous film.

And if you still need convincing, here is the trailer...



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BC