About Roger Ebert...

Remember Roger Ebert

 

I know this is afew months over due, but, well, honestly i wanted to sit down and truly thing about this before I wrote it, i wanted to choose my words carefully, and make sure I express things in the proper way before anything is misconstrued. After all, most know my dealings with, and thoughts on the late Roger Ebert weren't exactly what one would call favorable most of the time, and the last thing i would wish would be for anyone to believe I am one to kick dog shit in a person's grave as its being covered in dirt.

I would like to first state, that though we never truly agreed on things on a personal and professional level, I always had respect for Roger, after all, with out him and those early trailblazers that took movie reviewing from a novelty much akin to early weather forecasting, into a legit form of news, he gave it credibility, dignity, and he proved that with a simple extending of the thumb up or downwards was as powerful as any marketing and promotional department could ever dream of being. He proved that with just afew lines, the opinion and ideas of an entire nation could swing for or away from any film, truly proving that the power really does lie with the people's general opinion.

I always jokingly knocked Roger for his writing the screenplay to Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, which though most might not believe it to be, is truly one of my favorite grindhouse films ever made, its got everything that makes a film truly grindhouse; drugs, naked women, free love, and one of the greatest soundtracks ever created for a film. Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls was one of my first encounters with grindhouse, long before i ever knew there was a genre, and even longer before I knew the word or its meaning, in sense, had that film never been made, I might have never gone down my path that led me to where i am now, maybe i'd have gone on to be a race car driver or a cowboy astronaut fireman playboy millionaire superhero or something, instead of what i am, a guy who was able to take his escape from being anti-social and turn it into a pretty fun time reviewing movies. i'll always thank Roger for that, even though i'd never say it to him personally lol.

i want it to be known, though I always critically bashed Roger in his later years, I always respected him for all he has done up to the last few years, when, I felt he had lost his way, though to be fair, I honestly think after Gene Siskle died, he truly started to stop caring as much as he did, and it would eventually trickle down more and more until he started to do sloppy work, hating a movie for the sake of hating a movie or because you dislike the genre is one thing, we all do that at times, but when you mis up characters and scenes that you are using as examples of why you dislike a film, thats just sloppy first day on the job stuff, and i always felt Roger was better then that sort of mistakes or errors. See I wasn't ever angry or mad at him, as a person, it was angry at what he was becoming, instead of the man he is, and had been for decades before, the man that inspired three generations to express their passion for moving film, and to explore the world of film outside of just what hollywood tosses at you, shouldn't be remembered for mistakes that an amateur would make, it was kind of like when you're a kid and you find out Mickey Mouse at Disneyland is just a guy in a bad smelling foam rubber suit, or when you discover that your favorite race car driver is boring as hell in person, if any of that makes sense.

So in the end, I'm gonna do what i think all of the rest of you should do, remember Roger however you wish too, hopefully back when he was healthy and vibrant and would excitedly yell at Gene Siskle for giving away the twist in The Crying Game, or any of the other hilariously passionate arguments the two of them had over the years. Thats when he was in his prime, and thats when i choose to remember Roger.

Hang loose Teddy Bear..


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BC

Real Steel

Real Steel:

I spent this whole movie waiting for a head to pop up and spin around..

..also I've still not forgiven Hugh Jackman for Wolverine.

I must admit, I was rather confused and abit unsettled when i first heard the premise of this film, honestly, it had made me think that someone in Hollywood was trying to get as much mileage as they could out of Hugh Jackman's at times questionable and shaky starpower as fast as they could before we sent him back to the merry old land of oz where he can be forgotten about and become a footnote, like so much Paul Hogan, Russel Crowe and Eric Bana before him, but instead of sharing the same fate as those once well known aussie chaps, Jackman pulls a sort of Mel Gibson in The Beaver, where just when you think he's done, after a string of failed movies and semi spotty PR related moments, he pulls a pretty amazing rabbit out of his hat or wherever he keeps rabbits, because lets face it, these days, even dirty magicians get work, and those rabbits could be hidden anywhere. Its a rather neat trick really, not one that should be done often in life mind you, but, one thats just brilliant enough to work at the right time under the right conditions. I say this because lets face it, after the atomic sized bomb that was Wolverine, and being able to shake the horrible and rightly canceled tv series Viva Laughton!, and really only being able to get any kind of respect for his stage work, Hugh Jackman really needed himself a winner, and though its got its flaws and pitfalls, and probably didn't do as much as most would have hoped at the box office, Real Steel might have been just enough to save Jackman from having to click his heels and wish there was no place like home just yet.

Real Steel is, for a quick explanation, basically Rock'um Sock'um Robots meets Pokemon, no seriously thats basically what it is. See, it takes place about 20 or so years in our future, just far enough to see tech advance beyond what we've got, and close enough so they didn't need to build space age background cars and stuff, and in this future, the "human element" has been taken out of the sport of boxing, which has made it the most popular sport in the world, bigger than even Soccer and Midget tossing, as hard to believe as that is. Each robot boxer is operated by a trainer, who basically just operates a giant video game controller/iPad looking thing thats got all their preset moves on it, thus basically making it a sport of who can build the best robot with the best combination of moves, thus making it devoid of the human element that makes boxing so great of a sport to watch and to make films about. But what it lacks in the allure and mystique of other films centered around the sweet science, Real Steel makes up for with a mix of mysterious allure to a world of what is basically robot fight club and not one, but two underdog stories, one being the story of Atom, the out of date junkyard discovered by accident robot with the rarest function of all a "shadow function" meaning it can learn and mimic move for move whatever the person its looking at is doing, and the story of Charlie Kenton and his son Max Kenton, Charlie is a former boxer from before robots took over the sport, he's become a trainer is isn't exactly good at it, he's down on his luck when he discovers that his former girlfriend, and mother of his only son, Max, had died. And through a series of events, Charlie and Max end up spending a summer together, where in they discover Atom, take him on the robot fighting circuit, and bond along the way as they both rediscover just who Charlie Kenton used to be, and who he'll be again. Its abit formula and cliche by some standards, but as with any trope like this, when its done right, its done right and is enjoyable, Real Steel does it right, and it is enjoyable, its never gonna be one of those movies that changes your life, well, unless you're inspired to create an entire robot boxing league, then I guess it will, but still, its a fun 2 hour ride that shouldn't leave you wondering why you bothered at all.

Now that you've had the good, its time ofcourse, for the bad. There isn't an incredibly large amount of bad, its mostly glaringly obvious things that are easy to point out and leave people wanting for more to make the film abit more rounded. There could be alot more in the explaining the origin of robot boxing, maybe abit of a flashback sort of cut away scene showing the evolution from a robot boxing a human, to full on bot on bot action, going into more detail then just "people wanted a real bloodsport instead of technical boxing" sort of half assed four or five line explanation of the whole industry, I'd have also liked to see the story of Charlie's finest moment in the boxing ring acted out over narration instead of just telling the story while holding the article, and I'd have liked to see more bot on bot boxing, the movie is about robotic boxing, but there is very little robot boxing involved at all, that doesn't really sit well with me, it doesn't really bring the drama to the few fight scenes you do see, you see a montague but thats it, no real build up seeing Charlie and Max bond, or seeing more then small bits of them both training Atom, just little things like that, things that make it a well rounded story and gives you more depth and emotion, its kind of the same problem i had with the film "Larry Crowe" as well, just barely missing the mark of awesome by means of just abit of over editing, but again, that doesn't make it a bad movie, it just really leaves you wanting more, maybe enough to get hit on the side of the head with a soup ladle all orphan styley, you know, if you're so inclined, or you know, into getting hit on the head with a soup ladle like you're in a Dickens novel, either way, whatever floats your boat, personaly, water floats mine, but I'm weird.

So the big question now, is Real Steel worth watching? Well, yes and no, if you don't mind a film where you just sit back and enjoy the not to hard to follow story and just enough action to keep your mind interested in whats going on, then yes, most definitely its worth going to see. But, if you're not up for a movie that'll really leave you wanting and wondering about the gaps and barely mentioned bits that should have been in the film, then no, its definitely not worth your time. Over all though the film was rather good, or as good as films get these days, with to much thought and prep put into the big blockbusters and the awards fodder, movies like this tend to get overshadowed, and that doesn't make them bad, just, less of what they could be. But honestly, regardless of all its faults, you should give Real Steel a shot, you shouldn't be let down.



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BC

SLiDE

SLiDE: 

"The key to happyness is, to do exactly what you want with out worrying what happens"
- Homer Simpson, Sage of the modern age.

At first look, SLiDE (yes, spelled that way) would seem to be just another of those "teenagers behaving badly" dramas, probably falling somewhere between Degrassi: The Next Generation and Skins, and though I can see how many would bring themselves to that idea, I seem to find something more too it, maybe its a secret love for shows of this nature, or maybe I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You and The Breakfast Club to much as a teenager, I don't really know. Either way, I find myself strangely addicted to this series and the inner workings of a group of friends that you really wouldn't think would be friends if not for how they all came together, which, unlike most shows of this nature, actually makes sense and could actually happen, after all, the clique that writes things into sports fields with fire together, stay together. Atleast thats how it happened for me and my friends in high school anyway.

All joking aside, SLiDE is the story of five unlikely friends; Ed Newman, Tammy Lane, Scarlett Carlyle, Eva Lee and Luke Gallagher, they were all sort of tossed together by the means of what happened on Ed's 17th birthday, a night that sort of became a local legend around their high school in Brisbane Australia, and creating a bond between the five of them, given how they all came together that night, as you would expect from that night on they became friends, all with their deep inner dynamic and tensions, as you would expect to be the bread and butter of a show like this. However unlike most shows that randomly toss cast members together for whatever reason, you can see from the start there are alot of things bubbling under the surface with all of them from the very beginning, which really makes me pretty happy really, I hate when a show like this doesn't have its plans already made out before hand and they just wing it, thats how you end up with shitty american teen dramas that no one but emokids want to watch... ok well emokids and women in their 40s that are alone and need something to chickwank too.

The promotional material says the show is ment to focus around Ed and his trying to get Scarlett, a rich girl who's just moved to the city and is the daughter of his boss, to fall in love with him, or atleast sleep with him, but i find thats rather far off the mark. Its more the story of a journey of 5 kids (dubbed "the Slide 5" in media) who honestly have no real idea who they are or what they want to be in life, and follows them as they attempt to discover who they all are inside while still being able to live the carefree life of a teenager. Ofcourse they deal with the normal things one faces as a teenager, though drinking and drugs are pretty casually done, they don't focus on them all that much, which is good, you actually see more of the after effects then the actual effects, except for when its key to the story of the character who is under the influence of either or both, and ofcourse, as there is with teenagers, insane amounts of sexual tension with in the cast, oddly though, there is none among the cast and any of the expanded cast, infact outside of parents, who are ment to either be cool, annoying, or assholes, whenever the cast are in a scene with one of the other kids they deal with in school, infact whenever you see any of them with Phillipa you have the feeling they just wanna punch her in the face, with out spoilering it, you find out why as the show goes on.

Its hard to actually write a real review of a show like this, its not like most shows of its nature where you deal with a larger secondary cast that appears and interacts with the mains and have little stories of their own, but with SLiDE you don't really have that, you have the five kids, their parents and siblings when needed, and minimal interaction outside of the group, atleast on camera, they imply they've all got friends, but you never really see them interact for more then afew lines at most with anyone thats not important to the story of that episode or the over all story in general. Now to many this might seem annoying cuz you're gonna get nothing but important story the whole way through, but infact, I rather like this about it. Because it makes you actually feel for the characters, lets you get in their heads, and not just see them as the images of various teenage archetypes, you don't just look at Eva and think "oh she's the misunderstood graffiti artist" but never see her work or understand her need for it, in this, there is actually a whole episode dedicated to understanding it, you don't know know that Tammy's all by the book and down to earth, you see why she is, and what happens when she lets loose and doesn't go by the letter to everything, and how Scarlett has does horrible things to get her father's attention because its the only way he really shows her any attention, and Luke has alot of issues at home that he keeps to himself and isn't really sure how to deal with real attraction instead of just sleeping with girls for the sake of having sex. Or how honestly, Ed would be attracted to anything female, even concrete. All these little things that make them unique and different, you feel happy when they are happy, and sad when they're sad, and when they get punched in the gut, you get punched in the gut, thats a sign of a great show, and more so great writing, because anyone can write a teen aimed drama series, but not everyone can make one that can draw in people over the age of 18 and aren't developmentally stunted in some form or another.

Now as I said before, its hard to review a show like this, and really, on the surface its ment to be the aussie version of the UK hit turned USA flop Skins, but as I said it goes so much farther, and alot funnier, i mean alot funnier, the insults and one liners traded between the cast and the hilariously stupid shit they get themselves into will actually have you laughing outloud in some spots. And I do feel like I'm phoning this in because i can't really mention much of the plot of the series, mostly because there really isn't much to it, its just the day to day lives of 5 teenagers in BrizVegas trying to live as much as they can, while under the surface everything else is bubbling, their fears, their loves, their desires, their needs, all of it, and also, that some of the show's most endearing moments happen when they all let go of the angst and worry of teendom and actually act like little children, there is a delightful scene in the pilot at the end where they're dancing in sprinklers after writing a message to the teacher in charge of their saturday detention in fire on their sports field thats just brilliant, and the scenes with them and Tammy's little brother Charlie in the second episode are just endearingly awesome. So if you are a fan of shows like Skins or those teenage dramas they have here in America, or you are looking for a new spin on the genre, then give SLiDE a chance.

Or if you're still curious, here is a promo from before the show aired


I should also note that its a pain in the ass to find imagery from this show, so if the images i posted, which were awesome high rez images off the official webpage and twitter page, are gone, sadly, they were all i could find..

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BC

The Reality Shock 10/30/2011

The Reality Shock 2.0:

Issue #3: ..Like A God Fire Phoenix I Rise..

Welcome back once again my dear friends to the show that never truly ends, mostly because whenever I feel I've had enough, somehow, someway, sometimes through funky ass shit that happens every single day, and sometimes by means of afew loyal followers (by which I mean mostly my friend Ashley) reminding me that its been so very long sense I've sat down and wrote out one of my much beloved sermons of truth and blunt honesty. I have to admit, I had a feeling I might not be so good at this after about a year or so break, but I'm surprised to discover that not only am I feeling the energy flowing like I used too, but I'm feeling like everything is old times all over again, which is really pretty good, cuz they were good times, atleast I thought they were, but hey I could be wrong. I do know one thing though, after a year off, and the 6 prior years of writing this soliloquy of serendipity, I still have no real clue how to write a proper opening paragraph. Amazing how somethings never change no matter how long of a gap you have to bridge isn't it?

Alright, with that out of the way, lets get down to it, shall we? And away we go... A'room'a'zoom'zoom!!

So the first things first, I wanna address a movie that a lot of people have been asking me my opinion on, now, I do get asked about many things still all this time after letting my pulpit of truth fade into obscurity, and sense I've brought this out of retirement, I figure I'll answer one of the most recent and most persistent questions I've been getting, and that is, being the big Shakespeare fan that I am, what is it I think of the upcoming movie “Anonymous”, where in we are expected to believe that the great bard himself, William Shakespeare, was infact a fraud, a sort of Milli Vanili of his time, with the real writer of his work being The Earl Of Oxford, who believes that his writing deserves to be shared, but feels if he were to present it himself, it would only be heralded because of his status, instead of the actual talent. Now, though I understand the logic of that sort of theory, there has never been anything supporting this theory other then the theory itself, which though often debated over the last 30 or so years sense it was first put forward, there has never really, to my knowledge, never really been anything to support it, other then the original idea itself, which though a fun debate among classic literature lovers of the world, has never really been much more then that, a fun debate, until now. Now, as for my ideas and beliefs on this, though I will more then likely find the film to be a well acted, well written, beautiful bit of briefly controversial film, I believe it will be nothing more then just that, a film of fictional record, I've always been of the belief that Shakespeare is, as he always will be, one of the greatest writers of all time, maybe I'm too stuck in my ways, but I just can't believe one of the greatest dreamers that never quit dreaming, was basically Cyrano De Bergerac with out the giant penis nose, and played for the whole world to love, not just one woman. Its just not possible. But I am sure the film will be great though, and I look forward to seeing it.

Speaking of period based films, Ukrainian goddess Milla Jovovich, who normally is one of the most easy going and friendly people in the acting world, taken it upon herself to call out the film studio releasing her recent action/adventure steampunk like revision of The Three Musketeers, for their lack of proper advertizing of the film. Saying its ment to be more of a family friendly action adventure instead of a balls to the wall action film thats not for all ages. She has been taking to every media she can to state this. Some might find it in bad taste that an actor is speaking badly of the studio in the promotion for the film, but infact, going by what many critics are saying, she has a point, and this isn't a case of a star trying to incite bad blood between them and the studio, much like Richard Dreyfus did when he called out both Oliver Stone and Lionsgate films for not “hitting hard enough and making the world feel bad for George W. Bush” in the film “W” the George W. Bush biopic where Dreyfus played Vice President Dick Chaney, Milla simply wishes to show that her film is being mistreated by the studio, and she's just trying to save the film from ruin. What makes this case sad is, the film did bomb here in the states, though it did well everywhere else, and the studio is trying to make it out like Milla's questioning of their way of promoting the film is why it bombed, because they felt letting her promote the film with such an attitude, would be bad for them, which really is a shame, because the film is actually really good. It also looks bad on Milla Jovovich, who, in all honesty is possibly one of the nicest, respectful, friendliest of all the famous person I've ever come across, seriously she answers every single twitter, facebook comment, direct message, facebook PM, sent by every single fan, as long as its not lude or insulting or disrespectful ofcourse, she even goes out of her way to bring us all into her daily life, posting pictures of her kids and husband and her doing the silliest and cutest things, or video or pictures from the set of whatever film she's working on, and talking about how she loves sharing it all with the world as she does. Making someone that nice and caring to her fans look bad really just makes the studio look like shit, specially sense she was right.

Speaking of Milla's level of interaction with her fans, in my year off, I've discovered Twitter with alittle trail and error, learned that its not the waistland of endless self whoring like I figured it would be, infact I've discovered that many a famous person who's on twitter is a lot like Milla, taking the time to interact with their fans as much as possible, it kind of amazes me really, sure most of them are from outside of the United States, but still, the point remains, fame is fame, and here in America, its unheard of for a star to personally interact with their fans via social media, sure you get ones like Ashton Kutcher who doesn't so much interact with the fans so much as preach to them and preside over them, or Courtney Love who doesn't so much interact, so much as post drunken pictures of herself mostly naked or wearing something skimpy, but there is really no attempt to interact with the fans like they're people. I was amazed at the idea of this, and I figured sense as I writing this, I was having a conversation about this very thing with my charity case homeboy Mojo, I would share it all with you as well. And after a small amount of twitter and facebook stalkery as well as fumbling through my half wrong attempts at other languages, i've gathered that other then each country's super huge high end megastars, most famous people the world over, are very nice and respectful and friendly, as long as you are the same to them. When I talk about this, I always mention Lauren Socha, BAFTA winner for best supporting actress for her role as Kelly Bailey on the amazingly good sci fi dramedy Misfits, who literally lets her fans into every single part of her daily life, often sending pictures of herself and her family and friends, or her dog out to the masses, as well as often putting on her webcam via twitter and talking with the fans for hours, often with her friends, cast mates, her family, at random times during her day, sometimes even while sitting in bed when she can't sleep, she's covered up respectfully before you pervs get the wrong idea, she always answers questions about the show, what she's doing, what her brother who is going to be a semi regular on the next series of Being Human is doing, afew times even asked for fans to sell her a car, and offering to send a weekend afternoon having lunch and watching football (soccer to us americans) with anyone in Derbyshire who could get a good friend of hers who had been fired a job, even giving out her mobile number afew times for the fans, even promoting her show by stating if she can, she'll be live tweeting and using her cam to interact with fans during each episode of the upcoming series of misfits. That kind of full access is completely unheard of here.

There are a lot of others who are just as interactive with the fanbase the world over, I just use Lauren as an example because I find myself laughing at how far into her life she tries to integrate her fans to make everyone feel like they truly know her. Steve Pizzati of the now canceled Top Gear Australia is the same way, though his mostly involves him posting videos of him driving high end supercars around exotic racetracks stuff, which is great, but just rubs salt in the wound of people like me, who actually liked the aussie version of Top Gear and wish they'd keep making it, oddly, the loss of the russian version of Top Gear, which I also enjoyed, doesn't sting as much. Ah well, thats how it goes in life I guess.

By the way, if anyone who hasn't yet, and would like to follow me on twitter, you can at @ThisBrokenMind which some of you might take as me poking some fun at the fact most people think I'm crazy, but its actually shortened from the line “I am trapped here in this broken mind, and all I can ask is just be kind, to me.” a line some of you might know from the Molly Venter song “Good Mother” about watching her other slowly lose her sanity and memories as she got old. Speaking of Twitter accounts to follow, you all should give my friend Rose a follow as well at @EloquentParrot she mostly drops stone cold bits of truth about UK current affairs shows and provides hilariously truthful and blunt commentary on the UK version of The X-Factor, but its still rather entertaining, plus she can totally use the followers. Anyone else I know with a twitter account, don't get upset I'm not ignoring your accounts, I just haven't gotten your permission to plug yours, out of respect I won't do that kind of thing without y'alls permission or knowledge.

Now that I've mentioned it, all of you who are wondering what I think of the American version of The X-Factor, don't worry I plan on getting to it in length in abit, I just have afew other other things I'd like to mention before hand, so stay tuned faithful readers... or you know, skip down if you wish, it'll be there either way if you wait and read the rest of just jump then read back.. or if you go and make a sammich then come back and read the rest. Damn its 3:45am why am I craving a sammich?

Anyway, on to other things...

I'd like to give you all a heads up on an upcoming little known and little talked about film called “Chronicle”, which I'm betting could be the next District 9 type of sleeper. By which I mean people will dismiss as looking brilliant and having a brilliant concept, but they'll wait till it comes to dvd/blu ray/on demand to watch it, then they'll kick themselves for not shelling out the cash for theaters because of how amazing and wonderful the film is. Chronicle, is the story of three Portland Oregon based teenagers, who while recording themselves goofing about in the woods outside of town, are all exposed to a mysterious chemical they happen across, and as they go around their days videoing themselves as teenagers tend to do incase something is oddly youtube worthy, they start to develop superpowers given to them by the chemicals in the woods, the film goes from lazy loser teenagers mucking about with a handicam, to the story of three teenagers working together to train themselves in how to use their new found powers, and how they slowly start to turn on each other as well. The film is shot like Cloverfield, meaning first person view, so you feel you're right there in the middle of everything, a style that most seem to dislike for some reason, but I personally love to death, because of the surreality of how it puts you in the scene, while breaking the 4^th wall, with out really breaking the 4^th wall. Look for it February 3^rd of 2012.

Why are people making such a big deal out of the suit for Catwoman in the upcoming Batman: The Dark Knight Rises? Yes it looks like a generic sneaking suit with knee boots, but do you people not realize, that Catwoman never started out to be a master thief? The character of Selena Kyle was originally a hooker who wanted a certain necklace so bad she decided to steal it from a high end jewelery store, and she discovered in the process, she had a nack for theft, and thats how Catwoman was born, she didn't start out in the more commonly known and perfectly named leather catsuit, infact if you look into the comics, she didn't wear the trademark catsuit until AFTER the 1960s Batman tv show that starred Adam West decided to make the character into the definition of female supervillain sexy, infact Catwoman wasn't even that major of a villain until that show made her as such, and also, female villains weren't really written as sexy and flirty toward others until that show put the idea forward as well. So everyone bitching that the Catwoman suit that we've all seen on set pictures of so far looks cheap and unimaginative, remember, not every character starts out in the suit we all know of them in, but by the end, they end up in them, so shut up and wait to see what happens, you'll get to see Anne Hathoway in skin tight leather and Emma Peel sized knee boots soon enough.... perverts.

So before we continue, I have to eat abit of humble pie, which for those interested, tastes abit like Shepard's Pie, but the kind with carrots in it, not the awesome kind with corn, peas and bacon. Also, if I offended you by not referencing the type of shepard's pie you're used too, oh well, it literally changes from town to town and region to region all over america and the united kingdom, even if its a traditional united kingdom dish. Anyway... I have to eat some humble pie, because as many of you are aware, I've many times stated I refused to go anywhere near the scripted original programing produced by MTV, no I don't just mean the “reality” shows that are totally scripted, or their “documentaries” I mean the actual scripted programing, after they ruined their chance to make a daring ambitious take on UK cult series Skins, and that horrible horrible attempt at making 1980s cult crapfest Teen Wolf, which according to Kayla Patterson ripped off Twilight 20 years before Twilight was published, because everyone knows Stephanie Meyer created werewolves and vampires, into girlwank fodder for Team Jacob, and after their much hyped The Hard Times Of R.J Burger fell flat of the target, and countless other attempts I'm probably forgetting thanks to expensive therapy, I must admit, after all of that, MTV has actually put out afew quality programs, three infact, which I feel are in need of mention; Death Valley, which is basically Cops, but set in a town over run with zombies, oh sure you'd think the idea would get tired rather quickly, but amazingly it doesn't, but then again, honestly, who doesn't love killing zombies? Another actual hit they have is the show Awkward, which is basically the tv version of the amazing but overlooked movie Easy A, both of which seemed overlooked by most, but truly are enjoyable. And ofcourse, the biggest highlight I have to mention, infact if I don't my friend Ashley will hang me from a tree and toss rocks at me, is ofcourse the relauch of Beavis and Butthead, which thankfully, didn't show its age, nor did it cross the line to straight up pandering to bring back fans, their relaunch had no frog baseball, nor did it have Cornholeo roaming about, it just established them back where they belonged, mocking music videos (and now reality shows too) and pop culture in general. I can't believe I'm about to say this but, good job MTV, you're officially now ahead of NBC and CBS in my “get out of the television shithouse” program.

“You know, when I did my skit with the cast of Jersey Shore when I was hosing the prime time emmy awards, we had to constantly change the script, not to make if funnier, but because those wacky macaroni rascals couldn't pronounce certain words. Serious, I'm not kidding, if you saw my skit with them, I played a mafia liaison, but because none of them could say the word “liaison”, we changed it to they would simply refer to me as The Godmother... I know it made it abit trite to some, but god bless those guidos, they tried as hard as they could, they just couldn't say that word to save their lives.... not even that little orange one that looks like a cabbage patch kid...” - Jane Lynch of the hit series Glee on her dealings with the cast of Jersey Shore.

Lindsey Lohan working in a morgue is the most hilarious thing I've ever had the privilege of picturing in my head, whichever judge in LA made that happen, I thank you. I thank you hardcore. I thank him almost as much as I thank the person who thought the idea of the show H8R, where Z-List famous people spend a day trying to convince someone that called them names on the internet they're good people... shame it got canceled three episodes in.

Some movies you all should check out if you haven't yet; Rubber; the story of a tire that lives in the outer area of Lancaster California, is named Robert and one day, not only becomes self aware and alive, but also discovers that it has an unyielding need to kill as it rolls across the California sands heading toward LA, and somewhere along the way stops to watch a lot of classic car tv shows, movies and classic nascar. Attack The Block; a British attempt at a ghetto vs. aliens film, which starts off abit silly and kind of dumb, but after the first 15 minutes picks up and becomes one of the most delightful films I've seen in the whole humans vs. aliens genre in a long time, plus it helped me get the bad taste of the film Skyline out of my memory, which was a much needed scrubbing, plus there is talks of making a tv series based on it, which I could honestly see working, not for long, but maybe a 6 episode run with as much of the original cast as I can.

Some Television you all should check out; The Fades; a story of humans with angelic powers who fight to prevent the end of the world brought about the undead, its perfect Halloween time watching. Bedlem; a UK series about a mental hospital being turned into an apartment complex, its losely based on the former Danvers Mental Institution, one of the most horrific places in america, that was turned into a high end apartment complex. Once Upon A Time; a rather interesting and dark twist on fairy tales set in smalltown Maine. A little side note about The Fades, if you saw the rather well made and delightfully trashy Stanley Park pilot from BBC last year, and you're as clever as me, you'll notice the neighborhood where they do the exterior shots of one of the character's homes, is the exact same neighborhood where that pilot was shot.

You know, I will admit, after much shock and teasing by every woman I know for the fact I didn't know Zachary Quinto, one of my favorite actors of the modern era is totally gay till he came out of the closet last week, I will say this, after seeing his Halloween costume he posted on his twitter, I would have known. Seriously, if you've not seen him dressed as “new york city's fireworks on july 4th” go hit up his twitter (giggity), seriously its the most hilariously gay thing ever, Check it out once you stop laughing at the fact I said “hit up his twitter” in a serious tone and with a straight face.

Everyone keeps telling me I should love Terra Nova, its got everything one could want; dinosaurs, adventure, that guy from Avatar everyone thinks is a good actor for some reason.. but I just can't fully get into it, I just keep looking at it and thinking of things they did wrong, like not bringing back proper building materials and equipment, or proper scientists who have actual knowledge of dinosaurs and what would be found in a world like that, or how they seem to have no issue at all destroying an entire other timeline that they know nothing at all of, because, you know, fuck those guys and their reality, no one cares about them, they can go to the shitty deny's on the other side of town from now on. All of it just adds up to me having a giant question mark and the word “Hmm..” over my head about the show. Also, I'm not that impressed with what will probably be the final season of House so far either.

I don't really care what anyone says, I'm super excited about the upcoming new movie starring The Muppets, plus I seriously love the spoof trailers, Epic. Now if I could only get someone to look at my Fraggle Rock movie script....

I know a lot of you are wondering about this, so I'll put all your wondering to rest, YES I am super excited about The Avengers the more set photos and clips I see, I love that they aren't really putting much info out there other then that they're united to fight against Loki and his trickery. I'm also rather excited that word has come down that all the ties that bind these recent marvel movies together leading up to The Avengers, will continue to bind them all together after they come together, plus word that Avengers 2 will have a different cast but cameos by the current ones, I seriously can't wait. Seriously though, Marvel Studios, buy back the rights to Spiderman, Fantastic Four, X-Men, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and all the stray little kittens that are out there split among other studios, you need a full shared film universe, not just half of it. Plus, the marvel universe isn't the same without Peter Parker swinging around NYC, or mentions of Reed Richards inventing things, or the mention of mutants and the x-men in general, or even The Punisher and DareDevil running about the city working overtime, fighting crime, fighting crime. Plus with marvel putting out statements they feel their movies are chapters in movie sized comic books, and plan on using them as such, and that they wish to tell key storylines on the big screen, the awesome sauce is just amazing right now. So excited.

I might get flack for this, but, I would watch an entire episode of The Cleveland Show where you follow Cleveland Brown Jr. around all day just seeing what his day is like.

Alrighty, so as promised, once I finished everything else I had to say this week, I would spread forth my thoughts on the American take on the UK megahit series The X-Factor. And though I had thought of maybe just ignoring it and maybe writing about something else, like, how I hate there are 8 tv shows on tv about cake making at the moment, or 4 about midgets, or how I think its stupid the Hillsborough County Prison, where we keep pedophiles and child porn cases in my section of New Hampshire, is right on the highway, but also right across the street from a mini-golf/ice cream and burger stand, or something like that instead. But because I'm a people pleaser, I have to give the people what they want, me commenting on the rookie year of the American version of The X-Factor, and thus, because its what the people want, its what the people shall get, so lets get into it, before I start rambling about how awesome local television personality Fritz Weatherby is, which will mean nothing to all of you cuz you don't have a clue who he is... so.. lets get down into this...

Ok so, some of you might be amazed to discover, that I do not actually have any prior experience with The X-Factor, I always figured it was the same thing as American Idol, seeing as they have the same roots, assuming that, I figured there no reason to really pay attention to anything but the winner each year, after all one can only really put up with so much Simon Cowell in their life before you realize you wanna stab every douchebag in a tight dark teeshirt a haircut they stole from Richard Dean Anderson after his awesome kentucky waterfalls mullet phase, who thinks because they discovered 5ive and S Club 7 they're somehow entitled to be jerks to everyone.

I was amazed though, that though both concepts are alike, they are different in many key ways, and on theory alone, I'd actually give X-Factor an edge over the idol machine, I never liked the idea of Idol having an age limit, thats just moronic, because a music dream doesn't end at 30, and if you think it does, you're an idiot and no one cares what you think anyway you stupid Justin Bieber fan. I like that in X-Factor you have someone working with the contestants, molding them, instead of just tossing them out there on their own and expecting them to wing it, then tossing a winner out there expecting them to fly or fall on their faces, you have someone thats a go too thats in the business and can help you along if needs be, that should, assuming the mentor knows what they're doing, make for a better act by the time its over and done. I also like the sudden death aspect of X-Factor better, it allows for us to cut through all the dragging out of quarter and semi finals, though I do feel the build up rounds are abit much, you've gotta literally sing like 8 times before you make it to live tv tapings, and even at that point you can get cut one final time before it gets to the voting. That seems abit high pressure, but I guess that fits the idea of the show. I also rather like that they include groups and hip hop, I felt this gives you an all in one show vs. the many failed spin offs of the genre where they'd try to find group or rapper on their own and just failed miserably do to the lopsided ratio of shit talent picked to fill slots in a show of this nature vs. actual talent.

I only have three major issues with The X-Factor, and really two of them are more personal nitpickery instead of actual issues. My first issue, though it might sound abit narrow minded, is the lower end of the age spectrum, now I'm not saying there aren't talented young kids who could be out there putting the game on its head and making that big figga skrilla, but a lot of them at like 12 to 14 or so, aren't mentally or emotionally ready for what they'll have to deal with, plus, I just don't see how giving a not raving review of the work of someone that young could make the judges look like anything but an asshole, seriously who isn't gonna boo someone for telling a 12 year old kid they tanked a performance and then tell them the critical feedback they need to make it better? Most kids that age group, those watching live, and the viewers aren't gonna hear the important feedback to make it better that they'll be given, they'll just see a judge telling a little kid they fail at singing a certain song. No one wants to be THAT asshole, even if its important to their growth as an artist, it just looks mean. Unless that kid is Justin Bieber, then hate him all you like, specially now that its legal in most cities in the UK to hunt Bieber with a crossbow from Midnight to 6am. My other issues, as I stated are more nitpickery, I do not feel just because the judges felt the need to make two groups, to round out the groups category, that those two groups, which really aren't that good, should be pushed along to live shows simply because it seems the judges refuse to admit they might have been wrong, seriously, if you've not seen the show check on the website, they're “Lakoda Rayne” and “inTENcity”; one is a country pop girl group thats name sounds like a porn star and they all dress like slores, and the other is a random mash up of 10 not exactly talented kids that sound like a theme park show, its painful to watch. My last bit of nitpickery is in the choice of former Pussycat Doll and lover of wearing dresses so short and tight one most carefully sit down in them or they split in self destructive zones, Nicole Shrerzinger, as a judge. Ok I get it, she's hot, and not everyone is gonna wanna perv at cougartastic and completely insane Paula Abdul, but the problem is, even though she looks good in a tight slore suit, and apparently can sing moderately well, she doesn't really have the knowledge base of various genres of music or artists to properly work with the group she was given to work with, the over 30 group. It seems like a mistake to me, and that sucks because some of the over 30s could win the whole thing, infact I think the three that are left as of the top 12, have strong chances to win it all, with very few that I can see giving them a run.

Which leads me to my next point of interest, the actual talent of the show. Now, I have to admit, I see what the other critics have been saying about the show being a case of how many talented sob stories can you cram into one show, but Idol falls into that trope too, so I can let it go, but, also, unlike Idol, the talent that makes it through, thanks to the crowd, is infact very talented, not so/so with hopes of them growing in the Hollywood rounds, if you don't bring the very best, you don't have a chance in hell. As for the actual talent in general, they've got some great voices, and some I feel are just there because they're more of a package or a stage show, then a voice. Recent elimination and possibly the saddest of the sob stories and James Brown sound-alike, Dexter Haygood, for example, was more of a stage show then a singer, that doesn't make him any less talented then the others, but it makes it harder to showcase him, his unique but talented voice, and the stage show that a man who sounds like him would need, in a show of this nature, he's more of a go see them live singer then a listen to them on the radio singer, where in contrast, you have someone like LeRoy Bell, a man who was part of the short lived late 1970s soul group Bell and James, has written songs for Elton John, as well as played with Sir Elton as well as B.B King and many others, who when you listen to his voice, you just sit in wonder of how a man with such an amazing voice and such an ear for music, could have been overlooked for as long as he has been. But LeRoy is all voice and no real show, as a contrast to Dexter. Seriously, its mind-boggling, look him up.

There are other amazing talents as well that I feel have a chance at the crown, south Florida's contender for new latin diva Melanie Amaro, and lifetime original movie Stacy Francis, who will show down for the most powerful of the female voices, both have a chance at taking the whole thing if they keep with themselves on track. Other stand outs with a chance to actually make it to the winner's circle include; Rachel Crow, the youngest, and by far the most entertaining of the finalists, she might be more suited to be the likes of being an acting/singer double punch for a company like Disney that makes its own child stars then sets them loose in the wild after they grow up, but its ok, she's awesome. Other possible winners are Josh Krajcik, a guy who, when not trying to look like me, but sing astoundingly better then I wish I ever could, is normally making burritos at a shopping mall eatery. Josh's voice is amazing and has such a soulful sound to it, it just amazes me that this guy never went past the singing in bars stage of music. Another is rapper Chris Rene, who, not only is one of the most uplifting and positive stories in the competition, also set the internet on fire with his audition song, an original rap called “Young Homie”, which even had my mother, who is by no means a hip hop lover singing along and standing up and cheering by its end. As well as posibly the dark horse in this race, young soul singer Marcus Canty, who sounds like a soul singer straight out of the early 1990s, before R&B became bald idiots like Usher taking their shirts off and showing their abs more then about singing, plus, Marcus has the right to claim he sang right to a visibly turned on by his actions Rihanna, who was assisting judge LA Reid with selecting his final four, gotta put a guy who can use his voice to visibly get one of the world's most sought after women hot in the pants for him, in contention for the crown.

Fun Fact I found out this week; You might not know the name Shuki Levi, but if you were a child, or had a child between 1983 and now, you have heard his voice, or music he's composed, Shuki started out in the early 1980s as a failed pop singer, who was asked by Kenner toys to write and preform the theme songs as well as product the in show music for cartoons based on their biggest toy properties at the time; M.A.S.K and Jayce And The Wheeled Warriors, Levi wrote and recorded all the music for both series, even the themes, both of which most 1980s pop culture historians claim to be among the best themes of the era, from there Levi became in demand, creating themes and music for everything from Disney's Gummi Bears, to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or if you're in the UK Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles) to every single adaption of The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Levi still puts out albums of his own music from time to time, though most critics find it odd that a guy that made an artform out of writing a theme to a cartoon or a show where people in spandex and motorcycle helmets do parkour to defeat people in foam rubber suits while pyrotechnics go off wildly behind them, can suck at making actual music for the masses. … And thats a fun fact, that I learned this week, and felt the need to share with you, because after all, knowledge is power, and knowing is half the battle, and knowing makes you, a superstar.

Songs I'm feeling this week: “Lucky” Katie Kole, “A Change Is A Coming” LeRoy Bell, “Dominion Road” The Mutton Birds, “Love The Way You Lie” Meghan Tonjes, “Empire State Of Mind” Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, “Shipping Up To Boston” The Dropkick Murphys, “White Trash Beautiful” Everlast, “The Transformers” Lion, “Creepshow” Kerli,“Tessie” The Dropkick Murphys, “Joline” Queen Adreena, “Feel This” Porsah Laine, “Companion To A King” Mieka Pauley, “Into The Mystic” Jason Isbell, “Self Destructive Zones” Drive By Truckers, “Sticks That Make Thunder” Steeldrivers, “Kabuki” by Aloan, “Window pain” Opeth, “Over The Hills And Far Away” Nightwish, “Akhasmak Ah” Nancy Ajram,

“The Longest Road” Morgan Page and Lizze (various remixes), “From The Delta To The Golden Gates” Barbra Blue.

And thats where I'm gonna finish ride thats so wild that Mr. Toad wishes his name was involved in it, even though I've no idea why I made a Wind In the Willows reference in this day and age, with so little giving a crap about it because it doesn't involve vampires or werewolves, but for now, as I always do, I shall end it with some random thoughts, to dazzle, amaze, annoying, and bewilder you all... so.. here we go...

I seriously do not care for 98% of reality tv. At what point did the world decide Nickleback still deserves radio play? And on Canadian rock bands, why haven't Big Sugar or The Tragically Hip get the love they deserve instead? I'm thinking about giving afew followers of mine alittle segment where they give me a list of music they're listening to whenever I get around to writing this each time, kind of an interactive thing. I really feel glad I sat down and wrote this out, I forgot how much I missed it. The reason I was away so long is because nothing really interesting happened in entertainment, it was all just reality tv show “star” bullshit, and well I just don't give a fuck who Kim Kardashian's giant ass is married too now, people who are famous because they sucked the neverwas brother of a has been pop singer from the 90s off on video, really shouldn't be “famous”, thats just how I see it I guess. I'm so happy Haven's getting a third season, my life needs more Emily Rose in it. I'm getting really tired of all these Paranormal shows out there on tv, seriously, I don't care if Donny Most from Happy Days had an encounter with a ghost, because more then likely, that ghost was the ghost of his career, its been dead sense 1984 after all. American Horror Story is a lot like Marchlands, but instead of Alex Kingston hotting things up when it gets boring, you have Dylan McDermitt with out pants on, somehow that doesn't really seem like a great trade off to me. Speaking of Alex Kingston, if you haven't seen her short “River Song: My Story” from the final episode of Doctor Who Confidential, you have too, its a wonderful and beautiful thing. I'm so excited Misfits comes back tonight!!! Also, seriously I'm getting tired of waiting for the new Being Human series to start. Speaking of Being Human, I'd love a shirt that says “Team Annie” mostly because, well, Annie's awesome. And finally, one last thing I wish you all to remember, and take with you always, “Akhasmak, aah. Aseebak, la. Wi gowah ilroah hatifdhal habeebi illi ana bah-waah. Bahibbak, aah. Wa afarkak, la.” Remember it always, for its how I feel for all of my fans who love what I write, thank you all so very much.

And that is where I shall end it for this installment my fellow Indigo Children, so until next whenst we meet, I wish you all good times and blessid be your souls.

BC

Super 8

Super 8:

Clovefield 1970s Style...

Or Close Encounters Of The J.J Abrams Kind..

Like most people, I've become a big fan of J.J Abrams during his recent television and movie exposure (overexposure?) from Fringe to Star Trek to Cloverfield to everyone but me apparently loving Lost, J.J Abrams has been producing, writing, directing just amazingly big hit over big hit, its almost unheard of outside of afew now legendary directors, taking this all into account, when I read the early reports of what his next project would be, the supernatural thriller Super 8, I felt I was rather worried that maybe he'd hit his speedbump in the road. But as is almost always customary with things of this nature, I was happily surprised and delighted to discover that I was wrong, and infact Abrams' has once again, turned out an amazingly wonderful film, that as always is the case with him, invokes fond memories of watching the masters of film as they produced their crafts.

The film takes place in 1979 in the fictional town of Lillian Ohio, where we meet a then 13 year old boy named Joe Lamb, he's just lost his mother in a factory accident, and his father police officer Jackson Lamb, believing that another local, Louis Dainard to be at fault because she was covering his shift because he was drunk, is the blame and takes him into custody after Joe's mother's wake. Fast forward afew months where we once again see Joe Lamb, but we now meet his friends Charles Kaznyk, Preston, Martin, Cary, and Alice Dainard, Charles is an aspiring film maker who's hired Alice to star in his low budget film that he's filming in town with the help of his friends, and using his Super 8 home movie camera. Alice steals her father's car to drive them to the location they're filming their next scene at an old train depot near the edge of town, while setting up for their shot that needs a train to be going by in the back ground, they witness a truck driving onto the tracks heading straight for a high speed transport train, this causes a massive derailment, there is a fantastic wreckage, the kids survive luckily, and as they investigate the debris they discover the truck that caused the wreck, it was driven by a teacher of theirs who warns them about not talking about what they've seen there, they don't truly understand what that means at this point. They get out of the area as the Air Force shows up to take care of the scene.

Over the next few days strange things start to happen all over town, pets start to act strange and run away, everything from kitchen appliances to car engines to power lines go missing, and Alice goes missing, her father claims that she was taken away by a "Creature", people are confused and paranoid and starting to wonder just what the hell is going on, and when the air force claims they need to evacuate the town because a major fire is coming their way, most people start to flee, while very few stay behind and ask questions, though no one is aware that the air force started the fire to drive them all out of town so they can properly search the area, they've all been transported to a near by air force base until farther notice. During their time there Joe finds Alice's father, who tells him of Alice being taken away by a monster, Joe, unlike most, believes him, and after telling his friends of what he was just told, they all decide to go back into town and try to find her. From here the film becomes a strange mix of Cloverfield, Close Encounters of The Third Kind, E.T and (if you remember your tv adaptions well enough) Stephen King's It, as the kids move about their small town trying to not be seen by the Air Force, and trying to not only spot the creature they believe is loose in their town, but uncover proof of its existence. Its part monster movie, part sci fi thriller, with just enough drama tossed in to make it a nice mix.

I know alot of you are gonna cringe at the compare to Cloverfield, when mentioning that film I'm well aware of how I am among the minority who actually understood and rather liked that film, and thats fine, and though some scenes are shot through the Super 8 camera, its important to note that 90% of the film is not, its only used for dramatic effect, and nothing more, the plot is also very similar, rampaging monster let loose by accident from its secret holding facility, but instead of in a giant city, its in the middle of smalltown america in 1979, it might to some seem like the same old same, but its really not, not by a long shot. You find yourself wondering just what is going on, is there a creature rampaging because its all that it knows? Is it fighting for its freedom over land, sea and air, and only acting violently as a means of defense against those who mistreated it? Its a wonderful puzzle that takes its time to unravel and come to its natural answers. It also shares a ponderance with one of the greatest modern sci fi films of the last 10 years, District 9, by making you ask yourself logically, if aliens really did land here on earth, what exactly would we do? Would we be nice and friendly, would they be friendly in return, or would we, as the human beings that we are, screw the whole thing up to the point we would ruin the entire experience over something petty, selfish and small minded. I do love when a film makes you wonder about that.

So the big question now, is Super 8 worth seeing? Well ofcourse it is! The summer is the time when the biggest and the best are trotted out to the masses and we're expected to shovel wave after wave after wave of our cash into the pockets of those who make these films, and though 90% of them really aren't worth the time or effort it takes to sit through them, Super 8, thankfully, is in the minority, where its almost actually worth more then the ticket price to see it. The kids play off each other so well and it seems so organic, and you truly believe that they are just random kids in a small town in southern Ohio, they also went out of their way to amke it feel like it really is 1979, I always find myself looking in the background for hints they missed something thats not from that time, and I found none, I do so love when that happens, it makes the movie that much more enjoyable. So if you aren't into comic book movies, or pointless sequels that are the exact same movie set in a different location, or you aren't up for a movie about a young wizard, his geeky friend and the plucky young girl who assists them fighting magic hitler, or any of the other big films dropping this summer, and you want a nice well done bit of Sci fi that transcends science fiction as a genre and just becomes something amazing and wonderful all on its own, then definitely give Super 8 a shot.

But if you aren't convinced yet, here is the trailer to the film....




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BC

David And Lisa

David And Lisa:

Not Your Typical Love Story

For Not Your Typical People

When I talk about Grindhouse here, I tend to talk mostly about the over the top so goofy thats awesome kind of stuff, or the shock you till you have nightmares kind of stuff, or the wholesale selling of just enough sex to make it non-pornographic type of films as well, but what most people who remember those aspects of Grindhouse tend to forget is that the genre also served for the home of the early independent cinema, the art house movies that weren't just about naked people eating watermelon and then smoking a cigarette through a cigarette holder while reciting beatnik poetry then having sex with each other, nor was it just about homosexual cowboys eating pudding together while reciting lines Sam and Frodo say to each other in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy than having sex with each other, though there was, and still is a large amount of films like those in the Art House field, there is also more subdued, down to earth, and down right brave films in the genre as well. Independent films like 1962's David and Lisa, a story of true love, teenage angst, and mental illness.

David and Lisa is one of those films that I often find has either passed under the radar of, or been completely forgot save for afew small film buff conclaves that like to dig up the forgotten and lost stuff. Its the kind of film that sort of defines the bravery and early attempts at understanding mental illness, but also shows that those who are suffering from it, are just like you and me, life is just vastly different in how they see the world and how they go about their day to day lives, the plot is rather touching and sweet in its own way. Its sort of like One Flew Over The Cookoo's Nest if cookoo's nest was a love story, and didn't have Cheif killing the main character with a pillow at the end of the film to end his suffering from being forced to conform to how everyone else wants you to be.

The film starts with us meeting David Clemens, who's just been left in the hands of a state run home for mentally ill, we learn that David's mother is overbearing and overprotective and kind of a bitch, and as she leaves David at the school, we discover that David suffers from Aphenphosmphobia, which means he hates and has a fear of being touched by others, the slightest touch at all will send him into a rage of sorts, it isn't that he finds other people disguising or anything, he just believes their touch will kill him, when he isn't having a fit, he's calm, very cold and isolates himself from others, we also discover that he's got some weird fascination with time and clocks, at one point in the film he mentions a dream he has where he murders everyone around him with a giant clock.

As David interacts as best as he can with the others at the home, he meets a pretty girl named Lisa Brandt, Lisa has a split personality disorder, meaning she's literally two people, one of her personalities is Lisa, who can only speak in rhyme, her other personality is Muriel, who can not speak at all, but can write what she needs to say down on paper. David befriends her by talking in rhyme with Lisa, and talking with Muriel as if there is nothing wrong with her only writing down statements. Their relationship puzzles everyone at the home, most of all their doctor Dr. Swinford, who finds them both to be two of the more high level cases of mental illness at the home.

At one point, David and his mother have a rather large argument about his relationship with Lisa, even though she doesn't see the signs that a boy who believes the touch of everyone will kill him, wants to be close to a girl, and the progress that is. David's mother takes him away from the facility and forces him to be at home with her, believing it a better place for him. David eventually leaves and returns to the facility despite his fear of being touched by others, where Dr. Swinford convinces David's mother that its best for him to stay at the facility, she reluctantly agrees and leaves David there. Not long after, David and Lisa have a small argument, that leaves Lisa so mad that she leaves the facility, and none of the staff are able to find her. David again braves off on his own despite his fears of touch, and finds Lisa at a museum where she once spoke of a statue she spoke of before. Oddly, when David finds her, Lisa no longer needs to speak in rhymes, she speaks as a regular person to David, who then reaches out and holds her hand, which she holds the whole way back to the facility.

The film might seem simplistic, or abit easy to figure out, but it speaks volumes in the sense that it really is just a quiet little love story, set in the oddest of places, and about the oddest of people. It should also not be confused with the 1990s sort of remake starring a young and not dead Britney Murphey, though the two leads do share her uniquely gifted for their young age claim that Britney also had in her early career. Keir Dullea stars as David Clemens, most would know Keir as Commander David Bowman in Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, a film that my friend Deb still doesn't understand no matter how often I explain it to her, he also is known for playing Peter Smythe in the original 1974 version of the film Black Christmas, and most recently played a senator in a small but important part in the film The Good Shepard. Keir plays David so well you truly believe at times he's terrorized by the idea of another person's touch, and as he grows closer to Lisa, you feel his disorder slowly fading, as he forces it down inside to brave public interaction to get to the facility, and again to find Lisa, so well done. Janet Margolin plays Lisa Brandt, Janet went on to mostly do stage acting after the film, but did have afew small roles in films like "The Greatest Story Ever Told", "Nevada Smith" with Steve McQueen, in both "Take The Money And Run" and "Annie Hall" with Woody Allen, and a small role in "Ghostbusters II", but again she is mostly known for her stage roles, which she happily did until her death from ovarian cancer in the early 1990s, she always spoke highly of her role as Lisa, saying that it was the most fun she had infront of the camera, given how she was allowed to be as different and unique as possible.

 

So if you haven't had a chance to see this film, or if you just love to watch obscure but brilliant mostly unseen films, then give David and Lisa a look, you really won't regret it, but if you need more convincing, here is one of the more important scenes, it might seem silly by today's standards, but remember, in 1962, this was brave new world kind of stuff.....



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BC

I Married A Witch!

I Married A Witch!:

Or Veronica Lake Is The Hottest Witch Ever

I haven't dug into the past of Hollywood much lately, and I felt today was as good a day as any to do so, after all, I happened to catch this one on television recently and fell in love with it all over again. Plus, its the movie that the classic television series Bewitched is based on. For those of you that haven't really seen or heard of this film, well then, shame on you, to often is Veronica Lake, the original bombshell, overshadowed by hotness-come-laters like Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Diana Dors and Jane Mansfield and the like, both in her impact and importance to pop culture, and as well as her importance to film and hollywood in general. And though one can argue that like those that came after her, one could argue that most of Veronica's work was simply to just get an insanely hot woman on camera in vamp like roles just to draw in the theater-goers, but not so much with this film. I Married A Witch! stands out as possibly the funniest and most endearing of her many roles, or atleast the one she had the most fun doing.

The film itself, starts off in late 1600s Salem Massachusetts, during the Salem Witch trials, young puritan Jennifer and her father Danial are accused of being witches by local man Jonathan Wooley, and are then burned at the stake, as was the style of dealing with witches at the time, for they had not yet discovered the sexy witch outfit that has saved many a modern witch and goth girl from being burned at the stake in modern times. As they burn, it turns out Jennifer and her father were infact witches, and as she burns at the stake, Jennifer curses Wooley's family, claiming that every single man from now until the end of time, will be doomed to marry the wrong woman and never be happy. After this, the ashes of Jennifer and her father are scattered at the tree they were burned infront of, as to lock them in the tree forever. No idea how that works, but its the 1940s, so they knew no better, hell the general population of the world, like juggalos, didn't know how magnets worked back then, interestingly enough also like juggalos, the general population in the 1940s also believed that sex was a sin but having a friend that was black or hispanic was an even greater sin, but asians are ok because asian women are hot. Also, no one ever seems to mention that using witchcraft to bond souls to a tree, even if for god, is still witchcraft either.

Eventually, they show time go on, and all the Wooley men, all played by the same guy btw, living in bad marriage after bad marriage, doomed to forever be unhappy in love and in life, all because some idiot hundreds of years ago accused a hot goth chick and her dad of being witches and now everyone of them has to suffer for it, even if its not their fault. As luck would have it, in 1942, lightening strikes the tree where Jennifer and her father Danial's souls were trapped., splitting the track in two and somehow freeing the two witches souls, who as I'm sure you can guess, are pretty pissed off at the fact they were burned at the stake for being witches, and then had witchcraft used on them, in the name of god, to lock their souls in a god damn tree for all of time. They appear as little balls of smoke that float about observing the new world, even hiding inside more then afew bottles of booze, much to hilarious extent. Eventually they discover that there is a Wooley man living near by, and discover that he is running for governor of Massachusetts, and is about to marry the daughter of his biggest money contributor, whom he doesn't care at all for, but feels that its best for his career. Jennifer, having been locked up inside of a tree decides to instead of letting the nature of the curse she put on the Wooley men take its course, she wants to stick it to the family abit extra this time now that she's free of the tree, her father Danial, happily agrees and sets about gathering the stuff needed to give Jennifer a body, so she can go about doing evil, because its alot better doing evil in a body then to do evil as a cute little ball of smoke. From there, the basic romantic comedy plot takes over, Jennifer meets the current Mr. Wooley and she finds a way into his heart and makes him love her 1940s style, she as well falls in love with him 1940s style, and in the end, though trials and tribulations and normal every day romantic comedy stuff, which ofcourse leads to the eventual realization, "Love is stronger then witchcraft".

The plot and concept might seem simplistic and abit goofy by today's standards, but you have to remember, in 1942, this had never been done before, in a sense, this was one of, if not the first romantic comedy, and still one of the best I think. The great Veronica Lake shines while keeping her trademark bombshell appearance, and adding alittle bit of campy fun to it, the image of her in the witch hat is one of the most iconic images of Veronica from her entire career. Under-rated character actor Fredric March, most known for playing Death in "Death Takes A Holiday" the film "Meet Joe Black" is a remake of, plays every male member of the Wooley family rather well, they don't at all look like just the same guy wearing different clothing, for the short time you see each of them they are unique and different then the one before, thats a detail trait that is so refreshing to see, even if it was in a film thats the same age as most of the people that watch The History Channel. The rest of the cast shines as well, even right down to the goofy ending. Its easy to tell after watching it, how it evolved into Bewitched, it ends leaving you wondering what happens next, and I guess a logical answer would be to do a tv show along the same lines. So, if you get a chance, and you wanna see a nice throwback to the days of old school hollywood, then please, give this gem a look.

here is the trailer...


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BC

Good Bye To A Goddess: Tura Satana

Good Bye Tura Satana:

A Memorial To One Of The Greatest

Goddesses Of The Grindhouse Era

On February 4th, 2011, the world got alittle less awesome, for you see, the great Tura Satana passed away. Tura might not jump to mind right away for most, but to those of us in Grindhouse know her well. Tura Satana was, for those who aren't aware, the star of such films as "Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!" and "Astro-Zombie" and to fans of Rob Zombie's films, she was Varla in "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto". Tura was not really in many films, less then 15 total, but like my dear friend Maila Nurmi, it wasn't the amount of films you were in, it was the iconic presence you brought to the few films you were in.

I mention Tura Satana being alot like Maila Nurmi, and in an eerie sense she was, where Maila had a short but memorable career followed by life in the everyday world, which near the end embracing the cult fandom that deems them a goddess of film and culture. Serious, its weird, where Maila dated and almost married James Dean, Tura Satana dated Elvis Presley for along while and turned down his offer of marriage. Tura worked before acting as a Burlesque dancer, she had many cameos and short appearances in films as a dancer, as well as having a popular burlesque style show she did in Hollywood, gaining her, among other bits of acclaim, a mention by William Hanna (of Hanna-Barbara Cartoons) as his favorite "unclothed dancer of all time" where he wrote that her figure and facial features made her "the ultimate woman, who is well aware of how to use her body.", even while she was acting in films, Tura continued her dancing, claiming it was her real first love. Tura's acting career was tragically cut short though, while working on The Doll Squad in 1973, Tura was shot by a former, jealous, mentally unstable lover who had become obsessed with her and refused to let her go.

After that shot, Tura believed her acting career over. She still danced for awhile, but also took a job as a nurse at a hospital, which she kept for many years, she then would spend many years working as a dispatcher for the Los Angeles Police Department, where she she worked until 1981, when a car accident damaged her back and caused her to be in and out of hospitals for 2 years having two major surgeries and 15 minor ones, she also met her late husband while working there, they were married until her husband's death in 2000. It wasn't until around 2004 or so, that Tura realized, and then embraced the fact that film lovers on the internet were still raving about her and her small body of work, up until the day she died of heart failure last week, Tura spent alot of her time at grindhouse film festivals, and conventions like ComiCon and such where you find many a former star signing and interacting with the fans. Tura was said to state many times that once she was aware of her fanbase, she realized how much she was loved and how much impact her work and legacy had on the world of film. "I never dreamed that being a high class stripper who acted because Russ Meyer liked my tits would have gained me so many fans, even all these years later. Its an amazing feeling." she would say.

Tura Satana died of heart failure on Febuary 4th, in Reno Nevada, she was 72, and will be very missed... And now, as I tend to do, I'd like to give you all afew images of Tura in her hayday, as a tribute to a great person whom I will not soon forget... Whereever you end up Tura, be it heaven or hell, I know you'll be kicking ass and taking names. Rest in peace.

gonna miss ya darlin...


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BC