Jennifer's Body

Jennifer's Body
Or: A Study In Why Megan Fox Shouldn't Do Movies With Out Giant Robots

On the off chance you've been living under a rock, or in the bowels of some super unknown paramilitary rebel hide out hidden deep under a hovel town in Burma, then you, unlike the rest of the world, are not aware that Megan Fox, star of Transformers and current hot girl that says stupid things, has a new movie coming out by the name of Jennifer's Body. Now you also might not be aware that this film, is, for the sake of opening statement politeness, nothing more then a modern day version of a sexploitation film. And though I am sure many a person will shell out their hard earned money to see this film, after all, if you put an attractive woman that everyone's talking about on film teasing glimpses of her body and sexuality, there will always be people that go and see it, simply because of those reasons, I personally, can not say that this film was of any real worth. It is basically an excuse to take hollywood's current "it" girl, and trot her out on screen and have her be sexy and say moronic things that the more perverse of people be talking about for days, as the blog and photoshop their way through making the film remotely remembered for nothing more then else then its in your face exploitation of Megan Fox and her current place in pop culture and movie history. And though I can see how on paper this would look like marketing genius, but honestly, it just makes Fox's fame burn out just that much faster.

Here is the plot to the film: Jennifer's Body is about small town high school student Jennifer (Megan Fox), who is possessed by a hungry demon. She transitions from being "high school evil" - gorgeous (and doesn't she know it), stuck up and ultra-attitudinal - to the real deal: evil/evil. The glittering beauty becomes a pale and sickly creature jonesing for a meaty snack, and guys who never stood a chance with the heartless babe, take on new luster in the light of Jennifer's insatiable appetite. Meanwhile, Jennifer's lifelong best friend Needy (Amanda Seyfried), long relegated to living in Jennifer's shadow, must step-up to protect the town's young men, including her nerdy boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons). That is basically it, no hidden things that surprise you or a plot twist that makes you somehow feel you haven't waisted your time watching this film, its all pretty much right there. Which when you compare it to writer Diablo Cody's last film, Juno, this dark comedy just does not live up to the same iconic cult status that Juno gained, though I would venture to guess in its own way this film might gain cult status, even if only among lovers of bad movies and grindhouse fans that are into exploitation films, and ofcourse it will be very popular with lonely teenage boys.

The film is said to be a comedy, but really its just a hack, slash, and female ogling film that does nothing more then cringe your way through two hours of She-Demon Megan Fox, going around treating high school girls like crap, teasing the boys, and coming as close to making out with her "pet nerd", a dumpy girl, ironically called Needy, because Diablo Cody used all her good imaginary names on the characters of Juno and Wishmaster the Horse that Wrote Poems, and I'm sure some will find it entertaining as Fox's demonic side comes out and starts to go all black widow on all the boys in school, seducing them and then when they're ready for some action, opening her mouth to reveal her demonic side's way of eating, there is alot of blood, alot of low brow humor, alot of almost nudity, lots of teases of girl on girl interaction, even an idioticly played joke about Fox's claim of being bisexual, when her demonform and Needy face off, Needy states "I thought you only attacked men.." to which Fox, covered in blood and demon stuff proclaims "I go both ways", which though only giving me a slight chuckle, I'm sure will be the big talked about joke scene for those who see the film, and will be asked to any woman who feels shallow enough to dress up as Jennifer for halloween or something, but honestly, I find nothing remotely redeeming in this film save for afew small chuckles, and the hilarity I'll have at all the perverts going insane for all of the almost and semi-nude scenes of fox. It'll be almost as funny as people that believe Wishmaster the Horse That Wrote Poems is a real film and not something I tossed for a random comedic moment.

More so then the movie itself disappointing is the fact that Diablo Cody actually felt this was a good idea for a screenplay, it leaves me wondering if her Oscar for Juno was a fluke win in a year when there weren't many other films to match it in creatively written dialog that year. Seriously, I have nothing against Cody's work, I just think maybe she should stick to straight up comedy instead of this horribly bad excurition into both sci fi and horror, two fields she shouldn't venture into again, ever, infact to be honest, she shouldn't even rent movies from the sci fi or horror sections at a movie rental store, she should really just stick to what she knows, sarcastic socially detached teenagers who isolate themselves so they can feel ways about stuff or have babymaking sex instead of watching the blair witch project on Starz, or she should just write about airheads and strippers, the things she knows and is good at writing about. Don't get me wrong, she's not a bad writer, its just, she doesn't have alot of range, and people shouldn't encourage her to expand that range.

So in the end, is Jennifer's Body worth watching? I wouldn't say for all no, I would say it shouldn't be taken as anything more then a toss back to the sexploitation and slasher genres of the grindhouse era, or toted up with films such as Glitter and Honey, and however many other crappy star vehicles you can think of that were ment to capitalize on the star power and sex symbol status of whoever the main star is. I would say though, if you are intent on seeing it in a theater, wait about a month, after the film bombs it will be released to dollar theaters, because honestly, the film is only worth about 2 dollars of its ticket cost.


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BC