Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Entertainment Shit List

Every so often I need to let off some steam, and sure, The Reality Shock does a great job of keeping things in order and letting me constructively vent alot of my anger and disdain for people in the industry that I love so very much, but sometimes, I just can't contain it to just that, and when that happens, well, I just gotta take the AA-12 off single fire and go fully automatic and let it all fly where it may and not care about the damage. So with that said, its time to let off some steam and cut loose, after all its good for the soul they say...

So with out any farther delay, here is my current entertainment shit list.

My Entertainment Shit List

Uwe Boll, because he sucks at everything but sucking. Well and I guess he also is able to beat up 17 year olds who blog about how bad his movies are, but really would you brag about that, cuz Boll does.

NBC Network, they canceled Heroes and just make so many poor choices, I mean really, you thought Knight Rider 2008 was a good idea? Really? Too bad all your stuff is sinking like the titanic, seriously, when is the last time you looked at a ratings sheet for The Office or 30 Rock? Idiots.

Jay Leno, Chingate, thats all I have to say.

Joe Jackson, this is one of the worst human beings ever to have walked to earth. He is a vile little money hungry media whore who needs to be shot dead.

Nancy Grace, try doing a news show not about a missing young missing white girl sometime, or the next time you do a show on steroids and professional wrestling, do your facts on your "list of dead wrestlers" before claiming they're all steroid educed and you get embarrassed on tv when called on it. Idiot. Also get a new haircut, you look like that little homosexual boy on the dutch boy paint cans if he were to grow up and be a transsexual.

The guy at BBC that canceled Survivors, seriously? yet Law and Order UK is still on I don't understand how that works, I really don't.

Robby Flay, hey Bobby Flay, fuck you! yeah, seriously fuck you! You, your better then everyone else attitude and how you think you're a better cook then every other cook on television can go to hell.

MTV, I remember back when you all showed music videos, now all you do is show crappy reality shows based on crappy things no one cares about, oh and south park reruns, you know, because thats just so what music lovers need. Shit atleast VH1 tries to make their crap somehow music related.

Snooki and The Situation, these two are the reason for the downfall of all western civilization as we know it. Honestly, if aliens were to come here and study our culture, they'd take these two, cuz well I'm pretty sure they're both used to anal probing, and then they'd run like hell. Between her hair and his Abs they'd scare away any chance of first contact that didn't involve a probe and their anal regions. Also, how in the fuck do you get a name like "The Situation" in the first place? Its not like you can be born with that kind of a name.... I hope.

Saturday Night Live, hey, SNL cast, remember back in the 70s, and the 80s, and the early to mid 90s when you were funny? No ofcourse you don't, because no one that remembers those days would ever bother watching you and your horrible attempt at "comedy" that is the current cast. Whats more funny is, you'll be making 35 years later this year, but yet, the actually funnier MadTV only lasted 14... I don't get it, I really don't.

Megan Fox, first off HAHAHA Micheal Bay doesn't want you for Transformers 3, so there goes your career, secondly, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD, STOP TALKING! Stop talking to reporters, stop doing interviews, stop answering the phone, stop communicating at all, the less you open your mouth, the less chances there are of you saying ignorant shit that makes the rest of us fear for the future of the human race. Honestly, you're worse then that girl that said Twilight created Werewolves and Vampires. Just shut your gob and look hot. Idiot.

Miley Cyrus, for the love of god, we know you're gonna be the next Dana Plato now that you're 18 and your stuff isn't selling so well, so do us all a favorite, hurry up and get to the whole posing nude for penthouse, then overdosing in a trailer in the middle of nowhere already, we as a collective are already.

Lady GaGa, you are NOT Jerrica Benton, no matter how hard you try, and no matter how many drugs you take to make you think you are, you don't own a massively complex for 1985 computer called Synergy, or a rockin roadster, you didn't win any sing offs against The Misfits, you are just some drugged up googley eyed club kid who's completely fried on drugs. Also, stop dressing like a tard, Bjork can do it because she's Bjork, you haven't earned the right to be cute, icelandic and completely insane like she has.

Mike Lazzo, hey, Mike Lazzo, you ran Cartoon Network into the ground, then you ran their Adult Swim offshoot into the ground too, you're like the most worthless human being next to Joe Jackson, honestly, you don't care what viewers think, and then you laugh and mock them for leaving your programing, mocking the viewers for not wanting to watch the completely horrible trash you put out, then mocking them more when they stop watching your horrible programing is not cool, you should be shot for when you ran almost 12 hours a day of Scooby Doo related programing.

Dudley Moore, fuck you, you worthless drunk.

Steve Martin, when did you stop being funny? For that matter, other then your old King Tut bit on Saturday Night Live, and the movie Parenthood, when exactly were you ever funny? STOP MAKING MOVIES also, stop making horribly bad bluegrass, you're an insult to bluegrass music.

The guy who works at ABC Family that canceled 10 Things I Hate About You: The Series, honestly, I have no idea what is going on over at that network, I really don't. Its like NBC but different. Its like every time they get anything thats a hit, that isn't some mopey formula cookie cutter crap show, they cancel it. They've done this going all the way back to their begining with the series "3 Moons Over Milford", they did it again with the awesome "The Middleman", and they did it just recently with the brilliantly funny modern version of the old cult movie "10 Things I Hate About You", it was a great unique little sitcom that wasn't really all that formula, but was just really cute and funny, plus, Lindsey Shaw.. mmmm...

Kris Allen, I hated you on American Idol, and I hate you still you talentless wanna be singer songwriter, I want to punch you in the face everytime I see you or hear you.

Justin Beiver, honestly, I do not get this kid. He's not that talented, he's not that complex of a songwriter, he's just some kid with Jonas Brothers hair and bad teeth, I just don't get him I really don't.

John Lithgow, I hate this guy, he over acts in EVERYTHING, and you know it would be different if it was good over acting like Shatner, but its not, its horrible over acting, like if they couldn't afford Shatner, they would get Lithgow. I hated him on that crappy sitcom he had for awhile, and I hated him in every role of his that we've all as a general population forgotten he was in.

Larry The Cable Guy, fat ignorant racist, seriously, the next time you have someone write a book for you, because I'm about 98% sure you're not able to actually read, let alone know what a book is, ask them not let let you call middle eastern people "sand niggers" so much, well actually to be fair, ask them to omit alot of your racial slurs, they're just plain sickening, and you aren't funny.

David Ross, YOU. ARE. NOT. FUNNY.

Eric Wherehiem and Tim Highdecker, you two are horrible human beings who should have no place at all infront of a camera, or writing for or even on television in general, nothing you people have done has ever been funny, and never will be, you two, and your pimp Mike Lazzo, are a cancer on the human race that needs to be removed before you can infest anything or anyone else.

Jeff Dunham, you stopped being funny awhile ago, like before Sarah Silverman stopped being funny.

ok thats enough of my shit list for now... I might post more later...

---

BC

3 comments:

  1. LMGDAO.....

    Oh..Steve was funny in The Jerk.

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  2. No Steve Martin was never funny....ever. Also, All the big three networks basically cancelled every major program they had. It's ridiculous. I mean, especially the genre stuff bothered me, but really? You can do 3 CSI's 2 Criminal Minds, and two NCIS' really? Fuckin A

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  3. entertanment so joyful for everyone.

    ReplyDelete