Sunday, August 9, 2009

Torremt Picks 8/9/09

Ok its that time again, for me to come up with five films that you may or may not enjoy, so, as we do, lets right into it shall we?

The Calamari Wrestler: Now its no surprise that every now and then, I just love a nice completely whacked out bizarre comedy, and though alot of those come out of the asian film market, there are very few that hold up to not only the awesome that this film is, but also the fun, the only one I can think of that comes close is 2008's "Chocolate" which I've already posted afew weeks back. The Calamari Wrestler's plot is this, a professional wrestler gets an illness that turns him into a giant anthropomorphic squid, yes, you read that right, a giant squid, he decides to use this new change in his life to his advantage at his job. He learns to adapt to the new body and arms, and gains alot of success, even against others who become sick and turned into other sea creatures, but with all of his sucess, he really just wants respect and love outside of the ring. The film is just hilarious, specially the scenes with him and the girl with whom he falls in love with, in particular are some of the most hilarious in the film. The woman's husband walks into their kitchen after he's ducked out the window, and he just stares at her, sniffs the air and says "he has been here, hasn't he? That... squid.." and she just stares at him blankly. Its just hilarious fun. Sure we all know they're people in Toho style rubber suits, but come on, who cares? Its a hilarious movie. Its also a pretty cheap alternative to mood altering drugs.

Jezebel: I do love my old school hollywood, it just has this charm to it that you don't find today, the casting, the acting, the sets, the writing, all of it, there is just a magic about it you don't find anymore. But there is no need to get depressed about it, thankfully we have the movies they made, to remind us of just how much movies right now suck compared to then. In any event the plot of Jezebel is pretty simple. Betty Davis is a super bitch. No, seriously she is. She plays a spoiled upper class socialite living in New Orleans and engaged to a doctor, because, you know, thats always what happens to super bitch rich girls, they marry doctors. Anyway, after her doctor to be decides to not go on a shopping spree with her, Bitchy Davis decides to do, what i guess is the ultimate faux pas as revenge for this, she, an unmarried woman, does not wear white to a big social event, which I guess is a bad thing, because Doctor High Society dumps her and leaves town that night in embarrassment. Make sure you remember this in life kids, do not wear red to a social event when every unmarried woman is ment to wear white, you will get dumped. Anyway, he breaks things off and leaves, a year later, he comes back, Bitchy Davis, realizing she's made a mistake, begs him to take her back, but instead, her doctor introduces her to his new wife, from the north, where women know their place, this pisses off Betty, who talks her would be replacement to her doctor, into getting into a duel with him, because people settle things with guns in social circles, because socialites are just like rappers, Anyway the film takes some turns from there and in the end, you don't really know if our lead changes for the better or just manipulates people into thinking so. As you can tell I kind of have abit of fun with this film, I find it both entertaining and hilarious in a way that I don't believe its ment to be, but still as much as i laugh about it, Jezebel really is one of those forgotten old hollywood films that everyone wishes they could have done in their own vision. so if you wanna chuckle or two, or are up for a flashback to the early days of hollywood, when stars were stars, not just marketing images, like we have today, then give it a go.

The Last Starfighter: I've always had a special place in my heart for 1980s movies, I don't know if its because they were the movies of my youth or what, but I have always loved them, and for me, one of the most definitive films, was ofcourse, The Last Star Fighter. This film, along with the one I'm putting next, are what I like to call "ultimate geek films", you see, this film lives out one of the biggest post star wars dreams of all time, to be picked to save an alien race by leading whats left of their star fleet into battle against an unstoppable foe. Oh sure, the film seems abit lame by today's standards, and alot of the time its laughable, but thats it charm, its whole appeal is that this film is so horribly bad you have to just laugh at the whole thing. The plot is as follows, Henry lives in a trailer park in California, which is run by his mother, he loves a girl named Ellie, but can't be with her because his mom needs him to constantly fix everything. His only outlet is the play the one video game outside the small on site store, they game is called "Star Fighter" and it looks alittle like one of the early Star Wars video games. Alex beats the game's high score, much to the delight of everyone in his small little trailer park, who come out to see him beat it. Alex is then visited by a man in a car that looks alot like the Delorean shows up, and after explaining that he's not space Carl Malden from the streets of space San Fransisco, he takes Alex up to space and explains that he was playing a recruitment simulator used to select people to fight against an evil alien threat. From here the movie tells the story of how all but one ship has been wiped out, thus leaving Alex to live out the ultimate geek fantasy, single handedly saving an entire galaxy from an insane warlord who will take over the entire universe if they let him. Sure this film has its flaws, but its still awesome in that cheezy kind of way, so if you haven't seen it yet, you should give it a look, plus, its historically important because its the first film thats F/X where totally done on a computer.

The Explorers: Remember what i was saying about how there are movies that are ultimate geek movies? Among the most beloved of them is this film, The Explorers, this film, like Last Starfighter, this film is the stuff right out of some nerd's self starring sci fi story, a group of childhood friends build their own space ship out of junk, and fly off to space, where they meet and learn about life from aliens. Its best described as The Goonies meets E.T, and though some might look at it as just a toss away children's movie from the 1980s, it has gained a rather notable cult following, even bigger now that the film is available on a quality made dvd now. Here is the plot outline: Ben is obsessed with aliens, and one night he has a dream about a circuit board. He proceeds to draw out the board; with the aid of the brainy Wolfgang, the two friends begin to assemble the device. After a fight at school, Ben meets Darren, a new kid in the neighborhood that appears to be tough. The three continue working on the circuit board. All three have a recurring dream which includes seeing each other and flying about a giant version of the circuit board. They quickly discover that the circuit board enables the creation of a sealed bubble that can be remotely steered. Its force can push through the ground and allows space travel. The first bubble is made in their workshop, and is about 3 inches diameter, and makes holes in anything that it goes through. Their next experiment is away from town. The bubble is about 5 feet diameter and forms around one of the boys and gives him a scary unexpected flight. After this they build their space ship out of a Tilt-o-Whirl car, glass from washing machines and afew televisions, as well as a garbage can, the ship is then called "Thunder Road", and they set off for the stars. Now sure, as I said this sounds like a toss away forgettable movie, but its got an endearing charm to it, and makes people just love it. I happen to be one of those people, I always look back at this film fondly and it brings a smile to my face whenever one of the rare cases of me seeing it on television happens.

Foxy Brown: I've always loved blaxploitation films, this is no hidden thing, and among those, one of the best is ofcourse, the iconic Foxy Brown. Set in the era of giant afros, giant platform shows, and bellbottoms that are so huge you could shelter a whole family under them in the rain. Here is the plot of the film: When her government-agent boyfriend is shot down by The Man, Foxy Brown seeks revenge . She links her boyfriend's murderers to a "modeling agency" run by the campy villains of Steve Elias and Miss Katherine. Foxy decides to pose as a prostitute to infiltrate the company, and helps save a fellow black woman from a life of drugs and sexual internment. Oh sure it sounds like a cesspool of a film, but its really not, its a cult classic that just begs to be seen, plus, come on, the afros are amazing....

Well thats it for now, sorry about the lateness of this, I had a very busy day, anyway, enjoy.



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