No no no, I'm not gonna sit down and watch all of the halloween films going back to the original, that'd be silly and kind of boring... But instead, here is my list of the films i'm gonna spend Halloween watching, sure I bet alot of you don't care, but well, I needed to find a good filler post till I get around to reviewing Piranha, Predators, and afew other things this week...
So with that said.. here we go...
The Car: For those of you that don't know by now, I have a sort of special cult classic love for this little film about a demonic Lincoln that drives around the south west pissing off James Broland and murdering French horns. Its goofy, its horribly written and horribly filmed with lazy editing that lets you see the damage done to the stunt car half the time, but still, I love the hell out of this film, its a great laugh at the lighter side of Halloween film.
Frogs: I always loved how they literally made a horror film for EVERY animal ever, seriously, there an animals gone wild and start killing people film for every animal you can imagine, cats? yep. bears? yep. snakes? yep. moles? yep. rabbits? yep, you get the idea. And the fact its just so completely silly and idiotic of an idea is why I plan on watching Frogs. The film were a mega corporation dumps toxic ooze in a frog filled swamp and the frogs get mad. Which is weird because I always always under the impression that if you were a creature in an area where toxic ooze is dumped, you become humanlike and automatically know kung fu...
Killer Klowns From Outer Space: ... clowns are fucking scary yo.
The Beast Of Yukka Flats: I've spoken at length about just how horrible this film really is, and believe me, its horrible, horribly acted, horribly made, horribly edited, you get the idea. The only redeaming factor in this is that has one of the very first nude scenes that show full frontal female nudity in film, which sadly, has nothing at all to do with the story at all, it was just tossed in there "because the director felt maybe some breasts would make the viewer forget how horrible the film really is.". Oh well, it inspired Stan Lee and Jack Kirby to create The Incredible Hulk, so, i guess call it a win?
Kazam: Because seriously, this film is one of the scariest films of all time, Shaq's acting is just so very very horrible, I'm not talking like tolerable cuz its funny how bad he acts like it is with William Shatner and Sean Connery, I'm talking everytime he opens his mouth and uses that flat, monotone, modulating voice, it just assaults your ears and mind at such a violent pace that by the end, you kind of feel like you just got your ass kicked by a large black man that talks like a muppet. But, I ain't hating on Shaq, he can still take it to the rim yo.
Santo Vs. Dracula: A Halloween themed movie Marathon can't be complete with out atleast one visit down mexico way and spending some time with the legend himself, El Santo (called sampson in the english dubs of his films), El Santo, sometimes teamed with his long time friend The Blue Demon, El Santo fought the likes of vampires, werewolves, witches, and nazis, lots and lots of nazis, which might seem goofy to some, but ironically over 40 years later in some cases, these movies could pass for storylines for the next big pay per view wrestling event. My favorite of the bunch was, and always will be, El Santo vs. Dracula, the first one that I'd ever seen in the series, and possibly the most enjoyable of them all in a camp value way, plus you get to see Dracula use his little known lucha libre wrestling skills.
The Song Of Norway; This is one of those films thats so bad you sometimes wonder if its really just torture used for getting info out of foreign combatants or something. The Song Of Norway is a musical from 1970 and stars Florance Henderson of the Brady Bunch in a singing role. Yes, you read that right, Mrs. Brady singing while dressed like an old world Norwegian, while singing. The story is something about some famous composer from there, and for some reason actually tries to make him out to be an action hero, which is, well, yeah not right. This film is so bad it kind of makes piles of shit like The Room look good by compare, it even makes The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia, the musical about incest that has nothing at all to do with the southern gothic blues song of the same name, which has the likes of Dennis Quade and Kristie McNickle singing horribly about a brother and sister that get their Flowers In The Attic on while trying to become country music stars, look like a masterclass in how to make a musical. Its almost to horrible even for me to watch...
And thats my halloween marathon, sure maybe its not the most scary, but I find things scary that others don't, lots of times slasher and stuff just aren't at all horrifing and bore me because they're just gore... so I figure why not just do some stuff thats scary because its just so bad...
anyway, till next time, which hopefully won't be to long assuming blogger lets me post with out errors...
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BC
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