Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Suburban Shootout



Suburban Shootout:
Its Like If The Godfather And Desperate Housewives
Had A Child, And That Child Took Alot Of Acid

Its always been assumed that every country in the world brings something different to comedy, its own distinct style and way of doing things; Americans have lowbrow cheap comedy down to a science, in Australia deadpan and sarcastic barbs are a way of life, Canada has a way of finding the outright hilarious in every day life, Japan and most of the Asian countries have wacky and absurd everywhere you go, The Latin countries have guys in bumblebee suits getting pies tossed in their faces while secretly pining for the love of men named Stu who can't let Disco go, and ofcourse the United Kingdom has the thinking man's comedy, the comedy thats played off as serious and the quick and dry wit thats as sharp as a sword made of 440 Ginsu steel. And its in the grand tradition of The United Kingdom's ability to make a comedy out of just about anything at all, no matter how insane of an idea, and make it seem like the greatest idea of all time, I give you a somewhat forgotten gem of british comedy, the hilariously dark Suburban Shootout.


On the surface, and by surface I mean the beginning of the first episode, Suburban Shootout seems like the story of a middle aged couple; Joyce and Jeremy Hazeldine, and later in season one, their son Ben who returns from mission work in Africa, who move from the busy fast paced insanity of downtown London to a small out of the way hamlet called Little Stempington where they settle into their new roles, Joyce as a housewife and Jeremy as the head of the local police force. But life in this small out of the way town where there seems to be no crime, no youthful unrest, nothing happens in Little Stempington, there is never so much as a speeding car in this little town, infact Jeremy is told by his secondary officer, that no one's had to use the police siren in over two years, and the closest thing to a police matter they've had to deal with was the accident that killed Jeremy's predecessor, and that was quickly discovered to be mechanical failure. But as you can guess, nothing is ever what it seems in small out of the way towns where nothing happens, however its not Jeremy that discovers this, his wife Joyce, who is, by no fault of her own, forced into discovering the secret of what keeps Little Stempington running so smoothly, the answer? As anyone would have guessed by now, two rival gangs of housewives, who are, for lack of a better explanation, in the middle of a very violent turf war. Yes, you read that correctly.


Joyce unintentionally gets tossed right in the middle of this war, by means of members of both groups visiting and attempting to befriend her, and is reluctantly forced into the middle of this, for lack of a better term, gang war, by a woman named Camilla Diamond, who tricks Joyce into getting her fingerprints on a detonator used to blow up a local wicker store, and thus using this to blackmail Joyce into working for her. As the show goes on we meet Barbra Du Prez and learn the story of how things came to be as they are in Little Stempington, how it all started afew years prior with Camilla Diamond and Barbra, and how they were the best of friends, and one day happened across burglar in Camilla's home, and instead of running scared or calling the police, they bravely took the man on together, accidentally killing him in the process, and how as they bury the body far outside of town, they make a vow to never allow the criminal element to grow and fester with in their little town ever again. Barbra also tells of how things game to be as they are now, after recruiting their friends into their small organization, eventually a rift formed among the group and Camilla and two others; Hilary Davenport and Gillian Gordon-Moore, split off and became the very criminal element that they had originally fought to keep out of their small town, the other group consisting of Barbra as well as two others; Pam Draper and Margret Littlefair, who still believe in the ideals Camilla and Barbra swore too uphold, while still battling the now seemingly massive criminal element controlled by Camilla.


As the series goes, you learn just how deep this whole gang war goes, and just how many people are involved, and it makes you start to wonder just how many small towns something like this could happen in, or if there are any that its happening in right now. Its abit of a mindfuck in that respect, but as far as mindfucks go, this one's actually pretty damn fun. As it goes on, you see that Barbra and her group, though admittedly claiming to be the good guys, are just as insane as Camilla and her group, at one point Barbra is seen planting land mines where a planned low income housing estate was set to be built, claiming "low income housing is how it starts..", implying that poor people who live in estates are some how the criminal element, and later on going about trying to rid the town of teenagers wearing hoodies because they're a symbol of criminal activity, things like that, the whole time you're left wondering if there really is a good and bad side to this whole thing, or if one side just just slightly less evil then the other, but like any good gangster film, thats what you're supposed to think.


The plot and characters are pretty well flushed out and believable able overall, and though you don't really get much of a look into the lives of anyone other then Camilla, Barbra and Joyce, you don't really find yourself lacking though, they use the concept of just enough to make you laugh, but not enough to over stay their welcome, which is what an extended cast should be, and its main cast work so well together and toss such incredibly sharp barbs at each other constantly that its hilarious, you could almost have a drinking game with the insults, which ofcourse to most is the meat of the show. So if you're interested in an offbeat, dark comedy thats probably the most brilliant all be it obscure series in recent years, then give it a try. Shame though I couldn't find the pilot for the HBO created american remake, but then, that might actually take away some of the magic you know? So give this a shot if you really are up for something completely out there and different, and alot more funny then you'd ever expect.


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BC

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Thor



Thor:
No Matter How Hard You Try You Will Never
Pronounce "Mjolnir" Correctly.

I've always had a sort of love/hate thing with the marvel comics version of Thor, sure he's the best version of the character, and sure he's got that awesome old worldly way of talking, and he's got the magical uru hammer Mjolnir, and thats all fine and good, but you can't really do all that much with the character, he's a god or Norse mythology and he controls thunder, other then him being the powerhouse of The Avengers, there really isn't alot you can do with him, his only real villains are other gods or cosmically powered beings, simply because you can't really have an ordinary human beating a god, they wouldn't really be a god if that were the case. So you're basically stuck. Oh sure you can use Thor in other settings as a main or secondary character, but if you're going to tell a Thor story, you really have no real choice but to have him fight another god or a god powered creature. Its kind of like how with Iron Man, in the sense that you have to always write him to be a drunken douchebag because the only villains of his they seem not hold overs from the somewhat racist villains of the 1960s or a giant mystical dragon, aren't really good enough to stand on their own as the main threat of a film.


With all of that said, Thor does a rather good job of not only bringing you into the world of Thor, sure its all high end overly theatrical gods talking in norsespeak to other gods, but this is a Kenneth Branagh film, you expect the highest end of the overly theatrical end of the acting spectrum, the lavish costumes, the sets that look like we've traveled back in time, the attention to every detail no matter how small, just to make us feel we're really looking at a window into this world, but you know, not in that whole Fringe way cuz there are no Zeppelins.


Thor plays out like a norse mythological tale, the film starts with a battle between the gods of Asgard and their eternal enemies the Frost Giants, this is where you meet Odin The AllFather, as he and his Asgardians battle gloriously, and eventually triumph, bringing home to Asgard the spoils of righteous victory, you then fast forward to today, Odin has become the ruler of Asgard and his oldest son Thor, the god of thunder is ready to take the thrown, when an unexpected attack by The Frost Giants sends Asgard into an uproar, Thor, his young and jealous brother Loki, and their childhood friends Sif and The Warriors Three decide to confront the leader of The Frost Giants for the attack, against the orders of Odin The AllFather, this leads to a furious battle that Odin must step in personally and end for the better of all involved. In retaliation for going against his orders, Odin blames Thor and decides to humble the Thunder God by stripping him of his powers and banishing him to midgard, or "Earth" to us from here, he, long with his uru hammer Mjolnir, fall to earth, but Mjolnir has a spell on it now, meaning only those worthy of its power may pick it up and control its powers, The film from there follows the story of Thor learning humility and becoming worthy of the power he so easily tossed about before, the whole time thwarting his evil and jealous brother Loki's attempts to kill him so he can take the thrown of Asgard.


The film is pretty good over all, it was a smart choice to include The Destroyer, and they make Asgard really look like its a real place, and they those who live there truly look and act as you'd expect a pantheon of gods who live for battle to act, my only real issue with the film is they toned down the way the Asgardians speak, they did include it, but they felt it best to "tone it down for those that aren't use to Thor's speak", and though I understand why thats done, it still makes me a tad on the sad side, I never like when something key to a character's personally gets shucked to the wayside for the sake of bringing in a "broader audience" then just the fans of the character or general comic book fans, you shouldn't have to compromise just for the sake of sales, thats not really respectful to the source material. But overall the good outweighs the bad on this film and makes it does its job of forwarding the whole shared Marvel Comics Movie Universe toward both the Captain America and The Avengers upcoming films, as happens with every marvel film these days, which is always good, but still makes me sad how many characters are still in the hands of Sony and Fox, but as all, I hold out hope.


So the big question, is this film worth watching? I'd say if you're a fan of comic books, then ofcourse its worth going to see, as well as if you're a fan of majestic period like pieces, for the pageantry of them, then sure you'd love that as well. But if you're just looking for an action film with just stuff exploding and dudes punching other dudes and and swinging hammers, then you might be abit let down. As I said at the start of this, Thor is always a pretty idea, but is never really easy to write, and though they success in making the film enjoyable and worth watching, you can tell there were stumbling block moments where you could tell they were struggling really hard to make stuff work. But again, I stress, overall, it was an a great film and I did enjoy it, would would like to see it again. So take that as you will.

Here is the trailer...



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BC


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Good Bye Sarah Jane Smith




Saying Good Bye To A Sci Fi Legend:
Elisabeth Slader Of Doctor Who Fame
Passes Away Of Cancer at Age 63.

I've never hidden the fact that I grew up a fan of the british sci fi series Doctor Who, i've always been rather vocal about my fanship, my likes, my dislikes, all of that fun stuff. I can remember sitting on the floor of the living room on both Saturday and Sunday afternoons watching the reruns of the classic series on both PBS stations in the area, Boston's fabled WGBH channel 2 and New Hampshire's WENH (More commonly called NHPTV), both aired two episodes per day on the weekends, back to back, at different times, and always different ones, so I got a rather good amount of Who in my life growing up, which really isn't all that surprising, given how many people I know that claim my personality is an almost exact copy of The Doctor himself.

Anyway I'm writing about this because of some rather sad news that came down the news line today, the passing of Elisabeth Sladen, known to the world better as Sarah Jane Smith, one of the most beloved characters in the series, and the one to appear the most next to fan favorite Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart (Nicholas Courtney), who, sadly, also passed away not long ago as well. Sarah Jane also was the first character to break off and expand the Who Universe, being the star of the failed spin off K-9 and Company, where she and K-9 would have went around their small town in the countryside of England solving mysteries, possibly with a van. She was also one of the few members of the cast of the original show to make it into the relaunched series in 2005, appearing in a handful of episodes as well as her own spin off series The Sarah Jane Adventures, which this time around lasted four years before Elisabeth's death effectively canceled the program, how this will addressed, if at all, no one really is sure.

Though to say she'll be missed is an understatement as many who fans will tell you, most of us had our first exposure to Doctor Who during the three and a half years of Elisabeth's first run on the show, working with the two that most old fans argue over being the best to play the role of The Doctor, first working with John Pertwee and his successor, Tom Baker, the man most credit with taking Doctor Who from being a british sci fi series into the international cult series that its become, most people will tell you their first memories of Who involved Sarah Jane and K-9 to some degree, fortifying herself into Nerd Lore forever, where she shall forever stay. Because thats the joy of nerd lore, you're never forgotten.

So like many, I will be mourning the loss of one of the best loved sci fi characters of all time... Rest in peace Elisabeth, you've long sense earned it.

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BC

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The New Zoo Revue



Trips In The Wayback Machine # 3:

The New Zoo Revue:
Foam Rubber Puppets That Are
Apparently Coming Right At You

In the annals of both wholesome, innocent and well meaning children's programing, as well as the pantheon of classic campy cult tv series, there are many, many programs originally ment for children, that either do to their time period of creation, or possibly their horribly low budget camp production and writing, sure they served a purpose and as we remember them as children we do remember the lessons they taught us, but unlike our last trip in the wayback machine to visit Romper Room, our next stop on this trip down memory lane sadly does not retain its wonderful innocence or elegance, and though many can assume that this classic series was really nothing more then a wholesome attempt at the foam rubber creature kiddy shows dominated by the creations of brothers Sid and Marty Krofft. But for all that its trying to do, educate as much as possible while entertaining, The New Zoo Revue, goes from wonderful children's programing, to camp awesomeness, its kind of like Davey And Goliath in that respect, it tries so hard to be one thing, but shoehorning as much of its attempts it can into its timeframe, it just becomes awesomely hilarious looking back at it. Oh and also, don't worry, I'll be taking a trip in the wayback machine to visit Davey And Goliath later, but for now, lets focus on The New Zoo Revue.


Spanning 197 episodes from 1972 to 1977, The New Zoo Revue was the brainchild of its two human stars, Doug Momary and his then newly married bride Emily Peden, Doug ofcourse played well meaning but creepy looking "Doug" on the show while Emily played Emmy Jo, Doug's tight miniskirt and go-go boots wearing "helper" who, though a very talented singer, dancer, and artist, brought an entire generation of boys (and I'd assume alot of girls too) into puberty simply by being there. The show's concept was pretty simple, it was ment to go against such iconic children's programs as Romper Room, Captain Kangaroo, Sesame Street and their kind, as well as to take a share of the foam rubber puppets with singing and dancing and a stage show genre that was making Sid and Marty Krofft millions faster then they could create failed indoor amusement parks that would later become the CNN Building. The show, from its creation all the way till the last season when the ratings slumped and they were unfairly canceled, was a huge success for the time period, it was popular with children and adults as well in a cult capacity, spawning coloring books, plush toys, lunchboxes, sing along records and read along storybooks, as well as boardgames and just about anything else there would be before Star Wars revived the action figure genre. And it did all of this regardless of the fact Doug looks like a cross between a book store owning pedophile and that guy Stanley Tucci played in The Lovely Bones.


Each episode followed the same basic format, one of the three main characters; Henrietta Hippo, Freddy Frog or Charlie Owl, would some how end up either confusing something or imagining something or just start being a jerk to everyone for no real reason, then Doug, or Emmy Jo depending on how high the skirt she work to work that way was, would show up out of nowhere, be all confused as to whats going on, then they'd sing about it, and then the animal would go back acting the exact same way as before the song, which would lead to another song, and by the end of that song they'd get the point, and then they'd all sing a happy song and they'd all eat some pie or cake or something the hippo made, which is kind of ironic because of the three of them, Henrietta Hippo was the biggest jerk, I mean the puppets were all at various times jerks to each other, but Henrietta more then the other two, which is hard because Charlie had his moments. Alot of you might think I'm being funny or mean here, but I'm serious, if you can get through any of the youtube clips of this show, have a look, at any given time all three of the puppets are being jerks to each other. Henrietta is angry and bossy and delusional, Charlie is a know it all who thinks he's the greatest smartest bird ever, and Freddy I honestly think either has a learning disability or might just be a special needs person, most episodes really do revolve around Doug or Emmy Jo's go-go boots and miniskirts solving something that any two or all three of the puppets are fighting about, I'm seriously not making this up.


Its hard to be critical of this how though, I understand that though its easy to poke my fun sarcastic jabs at it from my adulthood, the fact remains that though it was badly written, and cheaply made, and the puppets were downright nightmare fuel, it still stands the test of time as one of the best children's shows ever made, sure it didn't really become more then just a hazy vague nightmare of a foam rubber hippo trying to kill most people until the late 1990s when the US government mandated the whole E/I educational children's programing laws for every television station in the country, which lead to the revival of reruns of old television shows like this, and maybe its not as well remembered as Captain Kangaroo, Bozo The Clown, Romper Room, or any of its compatriots of a bygone era of children's programing when it was about the show, and very little merch would released, instead of today where a show doesn't make it to air unless they've already whored it out to 40 manufacturers for everything from dolls to cameras to iphones or whatever, and then they worry about the caliber of the program, but stuff of that really in the end doesn't matter, because as silly as alot of this stuff is looking back, it still makes us smile, it still makes us happy, and it still makes us all wish for a bygone time when the children of the world were educated by those that actually cared, and wore miniskirts and go-go boots.


So if you've never actually seen The New Zoo Revue, have a look around youtube, or the internet in general, you'll find some pretty amazing stuff, sure its gonna be all trippy by today's standards and you'll find the most famous outtake in children's television history, as well as one of the many apperances of postman Mr. Dingle, who was played by a young Chuck Woolery, as well as other various famous people who show up. Oh and if you can find where its disappeared too, there used to be a clip on there of creepy Doug singing about sexual reproduction to the puppets. So yeah, enjoy the hell out of that one....


Here is a great little example of the show, and its got the ending theme, which btw, is the same theme as the opening of the show, so enjoy..



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BC


Friday, March 25, 2011

David And Lisa



David And Lisa:
Not Your Typical Love Story
For Not Your Typical People

When I talk about Grindhouse here, I tend to talk mostly about the over the top so goofy thats awesome kind of stuff, or the shock you till you have nightmares kind of stuff, or the wholesale selling of just enough sex to make it non-pornographic type of films as well, but what most people who remember those aspects of Grindhouse tend to forget is that the genre also served for the home of the early independent cinema, the art house movies that weren't just about naked people eating watermelon and then smoking a cigarette through a cigarette holder while reciting beatnik poetry then having sex with each other, nor was it just about homosexual cowboys eating pudding together while reciting lines Sam and Frodo say to each other in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy than having sex with each other, though there was, and still is a large amount of films like those in the Art House field, there is also more subdued, down to earth, and down right brave films in the genre as well. Independent films like 1962's David and Lisa, a story of true love, teenage angst, and mental illness.


David and Lisa is one of those films that I often find has either passed under the radar of, or been completely forgot save for afew small film buff conclaves that like to dig up the forgotten and lost stuff. Its the kind of film that sort of defines the bravery and early attempts at understanding mental illness, but also shows that those who are suffering from it, are just like you and me, life is just vastly different in how they see the world and how they go about their day to day lives, the plot is rather touching and sweet in its own way. Its sort of like One Flew Over The Cookoo's Nest if cookoo's nest was a love story, and didn't have Cheif killing the main character with a pillow at the end of the film to end his suffering from being forced to conform to how everyone else wants you to be.


The film starts with us meeting David Clemens, who's just been left in the hands of a state run home for mentally ill, we learn that David's mother is overbearing and overprotective and kind of a bitch, and as she leaves David at the school, we discover that David suffers from Aphenphosmphobia, which means he hates and has a fear of being touched by others, the slightest touch at all will send him into a rage of sorts, it isn't that he finds other people disguising or anything, he just believes their touch will kill him, when he isn't having a fit, he's calm, very cold and isolates himself from others, we also discover that he's got some weird fascination with time and clocks, at one point in the film he mentions a dream he has where he murders everyone around him with a giant clock.


As David interacts as best as he can with the others at the home, he meets a pretty girl named Lisa Brandt, Lisa has a split personality disorder, meaning she's literally two people, one of her personalities is Lisa, who can only speak in rhyme, her other personality is Muriel, who can not speak at all, but can write what she needs to say down on paper. David befriends her by talking in rhyme with Lisa, and talking with Muriel as if there is nothing wrong with her only writing down statements. Their relationship puzzles everyone at the home, most of all their doctor Dr. Swinford, who finds them both to be two of the more high level cases of mental illness at the home.


At one point, David and his mother have a rather large argument about his relationship with Lisa, even though she doesn't see the signs that a boy who believes the touch of everyone will kill him, wants to be close to a girl, and the progress that is. David's mother takes him away from the facility and forces him to be at home with her, believing it a better place for him. David eventually leaves and returns to the facility despite his fear of being touched by others, where Dr. Swinford convinces David's mother that its best for him to stay at the facility, she reluctantly agrees and leaves David there. Not long after, David and Lisa have a small argument, that leaves Lisa so mad that she leaves the facility, and none of the staff are able to find her. David again braves off on his own despite his fears of touch, and finds Lisa at a museum where she once spoke of a statue she spoke of before. Oddly, when David finds her, Lisa no longer needs to speak in rhymes, she speaks as a regular person to David, who then reaches out and holds her hand, which she holds the whole way back to the facility.


The film might seem simplistic, or abit easy to figure out, but it speaks volumes in the sense that it really is just a quiet little love story, set in the oddest of places, and about the oddest of people. It should also not be confused with the 1990s sort of remake starring a young and not dead Britney Murphey, though the two leads do share her uniquely gifted for their young age claim that Britney also had in her early career. Keir Dullea stars as David Clemens, most would know Keir as Commander David Bowman in Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, a film that my friend Deb still doesn't understand no matter how often I explain it to her, he also is known for playing Peter Smythe in the original 1974 version of the film Black Christmas, and most recently played a senator in a small but important part in the film The Good Shepard. Keir plays David so well you truly believe at times he's terrorized by the idea of another person's touch, and as he grows closer to Lisa, you feel his disorder slowly fading, as he forces it down inside to brave public interaction to get to the facility, and again to find Lisa, so well done. Janet Margolin plays Lisa Brandt, Janet went on to mostly do stage acting after the film, but did have afew small roles in films like "The Greatest Story Ever Told", "Nevada Smith" with Steve McQueen, in both "Take The Money And Run" and "Annie Hall" with Woody Allen, and a small role in "Ghostbusters II", but again she is mostly known for her stage roles, which she happily did until her death from ovarian cancer in the early 1990s, she always spoke highly of her role as Lisa, saying that it was the most fun she had infront of the camera, given how she was allowed to be as different and unique as possible.


So if you haven't had a chance to see this film, or if you just love to watch obscure but brilliant mostly unseen films, then give David and Lisa a look, you really won't regret it, but if you need more convincing, here is one of the more important scenes, it might seem silly by today's standards, but remember, in 1962, this was brave new world kind of stuff.....



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BC

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A Sad Good Bye To One Of The Greatest Ever: Liz Taylor




The Final Curtain Call Of A Siren:
Saying Good Bye to Elizabeth Taylor

Yesterday, the world of stage and screen lost one of the last artifacts of old world Hollywood, one of the icons that defined what a starlet is, while Veronica Lake, Jane Mansfield, Diana Dors, Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe and their like were out there defining what a bombshell was, you had the more wholesome less in your face but still as beautiful types proving that women in hollywood could get work with out flaunting their bodies, holding up this front you had the likes of both Audrey and Katherine Hepburn, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Vivien Leigh, and ofcourse, the definition of wholesome early hollywood beauty, Elizabeth Taylor.

I've stated many times when Dame Liz Taylor's name came up in reference to classic film actresses, that anyone born after 1955 or so truly can't understand the impact this woman had on culture and film, we all just know of her from her many marriages and things that happened during the rise of the tabloid media as big budget business and her decline to roles on television and state around 1970 or so, sadly, that is all we know her as, the tabloid target of old world hollywood who rumors would dazzle us with insane headlines of marriage after marriage, and who knows what else the muckrackers would say, all she was to use was a relic who would stand up tall with a smile on her face and ignore the negativity of that medium, never once giving them much attention. Though in her later years she would be seen poking fun at her past, jokingly stating she could become a marriage counselor and things of that like, modern tabliod fodder could learn a thing or two from her life.

I often find myself envying those who were able to see her on the silver screen in her prime, for they got to see an amazing show everytime she stepped into scene. So many breathtaking roles and so many times she just stole scenes, it really makes me so envious of people that were able to see her liven the screen in films like "A Place In The Sun", "Butterfield 8", "Boom!", "Who's Afraid Of Virgina Wolfe?", and ofcourse, her defining role in "Cleopatra". Such amazing work, from such an amazing woman, who sadly, watched all of her peers slowly fade away and die, Liz knew she was of a dying breed, the first generation of Hollywood, the generation that not only invented Hollywood in the orange groves outside of Los Angeles, but defined what a star should be and should act like, even if modern stars have abandoned their lessons for the flash in the pan lifestyle were you are only as famous as your next big headline. The stars of today should learn a lesson or two from those like Liz Taylor, and maybe, if they're smart, they will.

May your soul finally rest Dame Elizabeth Taylor, you were one of the greatest there has ever been, and the greatest their ever will be, may you join the acting troop or heaven and be with all of those you've seen go before you... But always know, the path you forged will always be remembered... Rest In Peace dear lady.

And now, as I do in cases like this, here are some images of this amazing woman..



















gonna miss ya Liz.... Tell Micheal the world is sorry for what they did to him when you see him...

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BC


Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Hasbroverse: Connecting The Cartoons Of The 1980s



The Hasbroverse:
Greatest Kept Secret Of The 1980s
Or Just Geekdom Gone Into Overdrive?

Its been said many times over, and will be said many times over again in the future, the 1980s was probably the best time to have been of cartoon watching age, we had so many things that you just don't find in modern cartoons, actual indepth and detailed storytelling, adventure, conflict, good vs. evil, all of this sort of stuff that you just don't find in today's world of sloppily dubbed anime about 14 year old kids with overly spikey hair on motorcycles playing some modern version of Mille Bornes but with monsters, or kids playing with tops or pogs whatever stupid goofy things kids are into these days. You see, back then, it was a whole other ballgame, oh sure 90% of cartoons back in the 1980s were to sell toys, but they weren't so blatant about it, we never let the infomercial aspect of it all get past the ability to tell a story, sure it wasn't always the greatest story, infact most of the time the stories weren't really much more then a little rascals style plot of two rival clubhouses playing jokes on each other, but we didn't care, they were, and still are very awesome, even with a sarcastic tint to the glasses we look at them through today.

And its through those aged all be it sarcastic glasses, that afew years ago, it started to become clear to a very few, that there was a pattern that none of us in our youth had even noticed, and when word started to spread, it just amazed us all how deep this pattern went. See, in the 1980s, the king of toy companies was Hasbro/Takara (now Hasbro/TakaraTomy), they had the top selling toylines for boys in The Transformers and G.I Joe: A Real American Hero, and the second and third top selling toys for girls in My Little Pony and Jem And the Holograms. All iconic toy lines, three of which are still in production today, and in the case of The Transformers, has been in constant production sense 1983. Now thats all impressive enough, but, what if I told you, that these four toy lines turned iconic classic cartoons, along with three other lesser known lines also by the same company; Inhumaniods, Battle Beasts and C.O.P.S, were all set in the same universe, much like how comic book characters all interact with each other in a shared world? And what if I told you that thanks to them all being written by the same handful of people who went on to become well known comic book writers, and that they and Hasbro intended it to be that way from the very start? Kind of hard to believe isn't it? That such girl aimed things as Jem and My Little Pony would actually be in the same world and be happening at the same time as the autobots were fighting the decepticons, and the joes were fighting cobra, but believe me, its completely true. And though you can argue that its because Hasbro marketed their shows as blocks, and bought a lot of the add time during said blocks of airtime, which would fill the airwaves with adverts for its products, but that wasn't really enough for the writers, being comic book writers to the core, they set about dropping subtle little hints here and there connecting all of these shows together, some of the hints were pretty obvious, some were momentary and if you missed them you wouldn't get them, but be sure, they are all infact there, and they are infact all intentional, and have been from the concept stages.

So the question must be asked, how exactly do I have proof positive that The Transformers, G.I Joe: A Real American Hero, Jem And The Holograms, Inhumaniods, Battle Beasts, C.O.P.S, and My Little Pony all happened in the same universe at the same time? Well to answer that, lets play connect the dots (lala lala lala), starting from the same point that I started at, and then we'll go from there...

My trip into this wonderful world started with a quote from long time comic book and cartoon writer Buzz Dixon, who when asked about his involvement with, of all things, My Little Pony: The Movie, stated the following:

“Funny story about an early draft of the My Little Pony movie: I was asked to punch up the original treatment. Basically this consisted of indicating where various music scenes could go, adding more magic and gee-whiz to otherwise pedestrian talking head scenes, etc. At one point one of the Little Ponies had to go looking for...something or someone, I forget. I suggested she encounter some of the Transformers and Joes in her search, specifically, a scene where she flies up to Shipwreck who is drinking some amber fluid from a bottle. Shipwreck would just stare at her in bug-eyed disbelief and she’d fly on, then Shipwreck would smash the bottle, take his cap off his head, put his left hand over his heart and raise his right hand in an oath, muttering frantically under his breath. Hasbro said, ‘Very funny. No.’”

This is what had me thinking at first, if they could just casually drop such a key character as Shipwreck, a fan favorite member of the G.I Joe team who was prominently featured in the first two seasons of the G.I Joe: A Real American Hero series, and consider dropping in various Transformers for a cameo in a series about magic ponies that fly about and sing and whatever other stuff they did on that show, then that obviously means they thought maybe cross promotion would be pretty normal for the course. This is what set me on a fact finding mission to see just how, or if, this idea had gone past just a silly drawing board idea to keep writers from getting bored, or if there was more meat to it. And soon after my quest started, I found what I think is possibly the biggest piece in this puzzle, thats where I found Hector Ramirez, the most traveled character in the entire Hasbroverse.

Hector Ramirez is ment to be the animated version of still credible in 1984 journalist Geraldo Rivera, who had yet to lose his credibly by not really opening up Al Capone's vault on live television. Much like this real world counterpart, Hector is known for his hard hitting ambush style investigative reporting, slanting his facts in whatever direction he feels the public should go. His trademark mustache and brown coat are how you recognize him in each of his appearances, appearing in four of the seven series, first appearing in three episodes of G.I Joe, one episode of Jem and one episode of The Transformers, before appearing atleast once per episode in all 13 episodes of Inhumaniods, though it should be noted that only in his G.I Joe and Inhumaniods appearances were the only ones where he is directly called by name, in the other two, he is voiced by the same man each time he's appeared, and looks relatively the same. Hector is listed in the script and series bibles of each of the shows as a “Crossover Character” again, implying from the start that from the start, it was all intended to be connected.

From Hector Ramirez, my drip took me to a character by the name of Brad J. Armbruster, a character who first appeared on G.I Joe: A Real American Hero as the master pilot called “Ace”, he was featured prominently in the first two years of G.I Joe, and then was never really seen again on the show, around this time, a character called Brad J. Armbruster, who happens to be a master pilot appears in the first episode of The Inhumaniods, where he is shot down by one of the main villains of the series, his legs are greatly damaged and he is no longer able to walk under his own power, he is then given a special suit by a group called The Earth Corps, that allows him to walk and fly, he takes on the name Sabre Jet and transfers from his elite combat unit, to the Earth Corps where he joins their ranks full time. This is the first time that a major character from one show has been transferred to another, Ace retains his same look he does in G.I Joe, he retains the same voice actor and personality as well. Oddly though, once becomes Sabre Jet, Brad never mentions his former team or what they do, but thats kind of customary, even though all of these shows are going on at the same time, and you see glimpses and stuff, but there is no real official direct references, which is, ofcourse why I had to write this article in the first place.

From researching the whole Ace/Sabre Jet connection, I ofcourse was drawn to the plethora of characters that was the cast of G.I Joe, because, you know, when you're looking for a central hub for your toy line universe, where better then a show that by definition is about a giant unit of military personnel thats whole job is to shoot one type of gun or rocket drive a certain vehicle or one certain type of specialist job no matter how obscure? And in two cases, thats just what Hasbro's writing troop did!

In the second season of G.I Joe, we were introduced to a character named Beachhead, he was kind of a jerk and all we really knew of him other then this was that he was number 5 in line of command of the Joe Team, and that his name was Wayne R. Sneeden Jr, which kind of explains why he's such a jerk. Now when you take a look at probably the most obscure line of these seven, C.O.P.S, which is basically just G.I Joe set in the future with a different lead villain, you notice there is a character there by the codename Checkpoint, and when you check his file card, his name happens to be, Wayne R. Sneeden III, and it states his father “was part of an elite anti-terrorist military unit that fought a ruthless terrorist organization bent on world domination during the 1980s and 1990s.”, which would indicate that Checkpoint is infact Beachhead's son. In a similar situation, the C.O.P.S K-9 unit, called “Bowser and Blitz” who, share an almost telepathic connection, are in look, design, and voice actor, exactly the same to G.I Joe military police K-9 unit “Mutt and Junkyard”, with statement on their profile card that they come from a long line of MP Officers specializing in K-9 use. There is more stuff connection G.I Joe, but I'll get to that in a minute....

For now, we'll do the simple and easy one, all of the music (except for three tracks “cold slither”, “the cobra who got away” and a rock and roll version of the G.I Joe theme which were written for G.I Joe) used in The Transformers, G.I Joe and The Inhumaniods, came from the series Jem And The Holograms, they just didn't use the lyrics, but if you take the time, you can connect every single instrumental to each song used in the Jem series, either preformed by Jem And The Holograms, The Misfits, The Stingers, or any of the other bands that appeared on that show. This one is the one that makes logical sense really, you have a bunch of cartoons all for toys by the same company, all drawn by the same company, all dubbed by the same company, it makes logical sense that you'd use the music thats already right there and isn't gonna cost you anything. But still, given how often Jazz and Blaster would use music to drive off the Decepticons and various other evil doers, its pretty hilarious to realize they were driving them off with songs by a pop band.

The Jem series also had one prominent scene in the episode “Broadway Magic” that featured a television screen that had a news broadcast on featuring Inhumaniod monster D’Compose fighting off some Earth Corps officers. Jem also featured an episode with a hard hitting interview by Hector Ramirez, which we mentioned earlier. The main “villains” on Jem, an all punk girl band The Misfits, were often shown in the company of three men that most will recognize as Torch, Buzzer and Ripper, collectively known as The Dreadnoks, the mercenaries who with their leader Zartan, were prominent members of Cobra in the first two seasons of G.I Joe, you also see The Misfits afew times in G.I Joe when you see The Dreadnoks during their down time at their home, an abandoned amusement park in the florida everglades, its believed that The Misfits met The Dreadnoks when they were posing as the rock band Cold Slither (You'll read about that more in a minute).

I'll get this last one out of the way before the big finish to this, most people aren't aware, but the short lived series and toy line Battle Beasts, sort of a 1980s attempt Pokemon for those that don't remember, were infact an offshoot of The Transformers, and featured heavily into their history and Japanese comic book appearance. They first appeared in a cartoon we did not get here in america called Transformers: Headmasters, featuring transformers thats heads detached and become smaller robots while the body transformed as well. They appeared in (If I recall correctly) three episodes of the show, and were then launched into their own line, their rubsigns, which here in america had elemental symbols, in japan, had either autobot for good or decepticon for bad symbols, and the line was called “Beastformers” over there. When the short lived tv series was created and aired here in the states, there were very few hints of any that they were connected to the transformers, but rest assured, they are deeply entrenched in the history of that franchise, though had The Transformers franchise in america had been given a forth season instead of the series ender “Rebirth”, and if the short lived battlebeast series had lasted more then 13 episodes mostly aired at like 6am on a sunday morning, we were told there would have been a bigger connection between the two.

And now the final part of this article, the connections between Hasbro's too flagship lines, and flagship programs, the overwelming connections between The Transformers and G.I Joe: A Real American Hero. I'll start with the most obvious ones, in the third season of The Transformers, set in the year 2006, much like the series C.O.P.S, as apposed to 1986 or so like the other shows were, there is a character by the name of Marissa Faireborn, an officer of an organization called the Earth Defense Corps, or EDC for short, given its logo its implied to be a large scale future version of the Earth Corps from The Inhumaniods, Marissa Faireborn is an interesting character because she looks like, and shares a voice with, popular G.I Joe character Lady Jaye, who was implied to be dating fellow Joe team member Flint, who's name was Dashiell Faireborn, in one episode, Marissa is shown a hologram of her father, who is dressed like and voiced by the same voice actor as Flint, and much like with Checkpoint and Bowser and Blitz, we're to believe that Marissa is the daughter of, not one, but two members of the G.I Joe Team.

The Transformers season three actually makes no attempt to hide the connection with G.I Joe, and makes it actually more blatant later on, in an episode where a mobster hires a mysterious scientist by the name of “old snake” who has a machine that can swap a robot's mind into a human body, and a human's mind into a robot's body. Whats interesting is that Old Snake wears a big fedora hat and a long trench coat, and a distinctive blue suit and metal mask that looks unmistakeably like the suit and mask worn by Cobra Commander, they drop several blatant implications through the entire episode that he is infact Cobra Commander, even his final statement of the episode, where he's walking off into the night, Old Snake says “They just don't make terrorists like they used too...” followed by Old Snake yelling the distinctive “COOOBRRAAA!!” battlecry as he walks off with a hand raised. If we're to believe that was implied in the profile card of Checkpoint from C.O.P.S, then it stands to reason that G.I Joe finally defeated Cobra, or atleast splintered it into other smaller groups, which would explain shows like C.O.P.S and later futuristic incarnations of G.I Joe.

There are more, less obvious connections between the two shows, in the second season of The Transformers episode “Prime Target”, the episode starts out with Red Star of the Oktober Guard, the USSR's version of G.I Joe (haha love that cold war wackyness), testing an experimental top secret version of what looks like a MIG fighter jet called Red Oktober One, which is then stolen by the episode's one time villain, as a set up to introduce and explain said villain as a big game hunter/collector of rare things, as well as his feeling the need to hunt Optimus Prime for sport, believing him the ultimate in big game hunting. This episode was pretty horrible over all, but did allow for the greatest Optimus Prime line ever said, “Amazing, a booby trap that actually catches boobies”.

Another less obvious connections happened in the episode “Autobop”, which was intended as a homage to the whole urban meets kung fu genre of blaxploitation films of the 1970s, where in you find the Decepticons actually recycle a COBRA plot, taking the COBRA plot to use subliminal messages to control the population of the world, they hid said subliminal messages in a song they wrote and produced called “Cold Slither” and had The Dreadnoks pose as a rock band of the same name. Autobop finds The Decepticons actually using the exact same instrumental as Cold Slither to enslave those who go to a dance club called Danceatron into building an energy station for them. Autobop really was only ment to showcase a fight between both tapedecks Soundwave and Blaster, but it ended up becoming more known for just how hilariously the episode was written with tons of forced in 1980s pop music references, but thats a story for another time.

Another connection between The Transformers and G.I Joe: A Real American Hero happened in two separate episodes that don't at first seem connected, but at closer explanation, they are. In the G.I Joe episode “The Primordial Plot”, COBRA creates an army of cloned dinosaurs on an uncharted island for the means of using them as weapons of terroristic nature, in the end of the episode, as per normal course of action, COBRA has been defeated by the Joe team, and sense no one really has any place to keep giant dinosaurs, you know, because they're giant dinosaurs and they need room to stomp about and do dinosaury things, the Joes decide to just leave the cloned dinosaurs on not Jurassic Park, leaving the island uncharted as to keep others from happening across Denver The Last Dinosaur and all his cartoon pals, or so you think! In The Transformers two part episode “Dinobot Island”, while exploring the planet earth on a day when they weren't beating up Decepticons, the autobots came across an island that isn't on any maps and is, much to their surprise, populated with dinosaurs, which they figure is a good way to keep the dinobots, the dinosaur based Autobot heavy weapons team, when they aren't needed and as well as giving them a place all of their own, naming it Dinobot Island, the Dinobots kind of move in and proceed to get their dinosaur on. What is interesting is, when the autobots find the island, its surrounded by a forcefield of some kind, and though it wasn't shown during the primordial plot, it is possible that the Joe team left a giant forcefield around the island to not only protect it from invaders, but protect the rest of the world from the dinosaurs, after all, if a flyer got off the island and made it to civilization, then bad stuff would happen, the reason the transformers could pass through said forcefield could be explained simply with belief that transformers, being built out of a metal called “cybertronium” and having many other non-earth material and wiring and the like, could simply pass through a forcefield aimed at earth based people and machines sense they're on different wavelengths as it were.

In truth there are many other things connecting all seven of these series together, but they're small things you'd need to dig deep into the histories to find, and though I am aware of them through research, I feel I've made my point here, there was, and is, a connection between seven distinct cartoons and toylines in the 1980s, and recently it was confirmed, and stated that all of hasbro's properties happen in the same universe, which makes things a lot more confusing given that in recent years Hasbro has bought out rival companies Kenner, Tonka, and Galubob, its been implied that other 1980s lines like M.A.S.K, The Visionaries, The Go-Bots, The Rock Lords, and many more are now part of that same universe, this concept seems in recent years to be having some weight, given that in a recent comic book set in the Transformers: Animated continuity, the team encountered, and more importantly called by name, a Rock Lord, from the shortlived 1980s Go-Bot spin off line, as well as recently G.I Joe added Matt Tracker, leader of M.A.S.K, complete with mask “spectrum” and his accessories were what made up the popular mask “adventure pack” set, Matt's bio even mentions the organizations M.A.S.K and V.E.N.O.M which were the main focus of the cartoon M.A.S.K., adding them both into the Hasbroverse, much to the protest of hardcore Joefans, but really no one cares what they think because G.I Joe fans can't seem to write a proper wiki.

So there you have it, in a short as can be version, the connections that link together, possibly the most popular toylines and cartoons of the 1980s, well except He-Man and Thundercats, but thats a whole other matter, but for now, I hope you've enjoyed reading my latest attempts at bringing you all into the geek forest, and maybe its made you think, or maybe learn something you didn't know before. Either way, I hope you all enjoyed it...


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BC

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

X-Men: First Class; A First Look




X-Men First Class:
A First Look At What Is Either The Best
X-Men Film Ever, Or A Total Trainwreck

I've been avoiding talking much about this film, after all, as the last decade or so will tell you, the marvel comics based movies that were not made as part of Marvel's shared film universe have just been abysmal; Spiderman 3, both Punisher films, both Hulk films, both Fantastic Four films, Ghost Rider, X-Men: The Last Stand, and that cinematic abortion that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine just to name afew, should give you the idea of what I mean.

Its because of such let downs like this that when I started to read about the making of this new Xmen film, set in the past and telling the story of how the two greatest champions for mutantkind, Magneto and Professor X, grew to be the men they are known as now, how Professor X founded the X-Men and how Magneto founded The Brotherhood, that I started to get alittle leery, in concept the idea would be great, but also, it cancels out X-Men Origins: Magneto basically telling the same story, which I've been looking forward to for many years, which saddened me, but I would be willing to overlook if it was done properly, and well, FOX Studios doesn't really seem to fully understand the whole idea of making a proper X-Men movie, or really a superhero movie in general really. But after seeing some of these still shots, and seeing the trailer, I have to kind of wonder alittle bit if maybe they've really finally discovered how to properly use a property that should, in all fairness, like spiderman, blade, fantastic four and daredevil among others, should just be given back to Marvel Studios to properly integrate into their film universe.

Now, before we go any farther, lets have a look at the trailer shall we?



the film is set in 1962 or so, given the implication of the cuban missile crisis, which makes alot of sense, the first X-Men comic book came out in 1963, so the timeline is right, Magneto and Charles knew each other and founded the X-Men first before their split in ideology causing Magneto to form The Brotherhood, so they got that right as well, and the early uniforms are right too, though I'm not sure how they got an SR-71 Blackbird in 1963, maybe there is some time passing involved, like it starts out in the early 60s then progresses to the late 60s with the school for gifted youngsters founded or something, which would make pretty logical sense honestly, it takes time to build a fortune and a school for mutants, it doesn't just happen overnight. Plus, skipping ahead in time would explain the apperance of the third party in the film, The Hellfire Club, headed by Sebastian Shaw and his prize student Emma Frost, who, if the films follow the way they're supposed to progress, will open her own school to counter Professor X and eventually turn good when all those students die.

My other really big issue is the cast, here look at who are listed as the characters on both sides...

James McAvoy as Professor Charles Xavier: The leader and founder of the X-Men and one of Magneto's best friends until conflicts of opinion create a rivalry between them and their teams.
* Laurence Belcher as a young Charles Xavier.

Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr / Magneto: The leader and founder of the Brotherhood of Mutants and one of Professor X's best friends until conflicts of opinion create a rivalry between them and their teams.
* Bill Milner as a young Erik Lehnsherr.

Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw: The leader of a secret society bent on taking over the world called the Hellfire Club.

January Jones as Emma Frost / White Queen: A mutant telepath who can also change her body into diamond form; also a member of the Hellfire Club.

Rose Byrne as Moira MacTaggert: A scientist and an authority on genetic mutation and love interest of Charles Xavier.

Nicholas Hoult as Dr. Henry "Hank" McCoy / Beast: Beast is a former scientist and political activist, who transformed into a frightening looking mutant, but is kind at heart.

Jennifer Lawrence as Raven Darkholme / Mystique: A dangerous shapeshifting mutant.
* Morgan Lily as a young Raven Darkholme.

Oliver Platt as "The Man in Black": A character who is not a mutant.

Ray Wise as the United States Secretary of State

Zoë Kravitz as Angel Salvadore: A mutant with insectoid physiology.

Caleb Landry Jones as Sean Cassidy / Banshee: An Irish mutant with the ability of sonic screaming.

Lucas Till as Alex Summers / Havok: A mutant who has the ability to absorb cosmic energy and discharge blasts from the energy.

Edi Gathegi as Armando Muñoz / Darwin: A mutant with the power of "reactive evolution."

Jason Flemyng as Azazel: Nightcrawler's father who has the ability to teleport.

Álex González as Janos Quested / Riptide: A mutant with the ability to spin his body at an incredibly fast rate.

Andy Callaghan as a member of the Hellfire Club.

Tony Rich as Thomas: A mutant with the ability to duplicate other mutant powers within a specific range.

first off, lets get afew notes out of the way... 1.) YES RAY WISE!!! 2.) this character Thomas, is Mimic, I have no idea why no one's calling him Mimic though. 3.) They go out of their way to state Azazel is the father of x-men member Nightcrawler, and with Nightcrawler's mother Mystique as part of the cast as well, its not really hard to figure it won't be long before we see him or there implication of him coming along.

Second, there are some castings that aren't exactly right for the first X-Men, well ok most of them aren't right, Beast is the only one thats right out of them all, because Darwin's whole implication on the team is... subject to cannon, Angel Salvadore shouldn't even be born yet, and Havok was "missing and assumed dead" with his brother Scott, Cyclops, being the leader of the original X-Men team. Though Banshee and Mimic becoming later X-men was correct, so i guess you just gotta go with the flow and accept changes, however odd they maybe.

i will say this though, I am very impressed with the handling of Emma Frost, I was really leery of the whole idea of her as a character in this set in the 60s and all that, given how Emma's become abit of a fanservice character in the last decade or so, I was worried of how they'd dress her, after all, she couldn't walk about in her original outfit of a corset, bikini bottom, thigh high stiletto heel boots and a white cape, I kind of assumed they'd go with her more subdued 1990s turned good look; a corset, leather pants, knee boots and a business jacket. But thankfully, they went with a 1960s Girl On The Motorcycle / Marianne Faithful / Emma Peel in the Avengers look for her, which I feel fits better in a case like this.

Anyway, enough of my rambling, check out some imagery...












just think, all this and no wolverine... thankfully. Seriously FOX, don't fuck this up. DO NOT.


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BC